CP's life blog.

2010-07-01T01:14:00.000+08:00

CP IN MOTION 2 DOWNLOAD LINK

http://ifile.it/kcpg5rt/cpinmotion2.mp4

I am DAMN BORED.

2010-01-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

Says the title.
LIKE FUCKING SERIOUSLY. ARGHHH

Pissed with poly but whatever, even more pissed with my movements. Landings are all cocked up now, I seriously need a new shoe! There's are couple of landings I remembered that buckled or landed on the arch, which I can seriously feel that goddamned impact all the way from ankles to knees, not to mention to over rounding and lean of my back.

Ever seince boxfit got closed, and never went to gym for deloading, and yesterday I struggled so hard for a 70kg squat, which is seriously warm up weights for me in the past. WTF MAN. Major regression ever since the 1rm day. Form gone haywire, shaking at the bottom of the squat, and my knee hasn't been that great as well. But all other lifts are fine. I just need to get back into gyming lifestyle. Such a hard commitment considering you are already tired from all the school shit. That's not much improvements in leg strength either. My knees are in deep shit if shit landings and shit squatting forms continues...

Need to get back to regular 3 days a week gyming but I doubt time suffices. Like I've mentioned in my personal blog, really need extreme time management. The feeling of going to poly, although can be fun with friends and all, is like going there just to wait for time to past and then you can fuck off... fucking slaves to Singapore's laws, how gay can it get?

Wallpasses still weak, no improvement in like 8 months, and really lazy to start editing videos and shit. Only have weekends to jam and I seriously need to cherish those times left. Tampines no longer and 'spot'. Like that, have to travel to Punggol to do some training, at thats like the nearest already, taking roughly 45minutes to get there. Bishan and Sengkang/Buangkok are the other options, Clarkequay too, but seriously, without castle, trainings like very mafan.

And i'm really not working towards my goals, money management isn't very good. Neither is fixing my body clock.

Fuck it, I hope this repeated cycle gets into my system soon and I'll get to train, work, study without any sense of boredom and irritation.

New year new goals.

2010-01-02T04:08:00.002+08:00

Alright is 2010 already, and time for serious business.

It is increasingly evident that my landings and focus are turning from bad to worse in the past trainings, and so that's the first working point to work on. Basics. Drill perfect precision landings and landings into roll - something that I've neglected right from the start.
Weaknesses - Wallpasses, something that I need to get consistent in, and stop relying on grip to get good in it. Not just the height in the kick, but also the fast transition from grabbing the ledge to pulling yourself up and over. Speed is key.
Flips. 2007 was the year where I landed my first frontflip and 2010 today, I still can't land it upright properly. What a fail. Seriously need to polish it up and I'm intending to do it right from tomorrow. Roundoff back to be alot better. Sideflips more height and control, especially in the landing - aiming to get sideflip gaps soon. Stop having those days where you flips and jumps are so high but the next day everything is so sloppy. Move on to concrete with better landings and less hesitations. Get back my gainer and move on to wall tricks, twists, corkscrew.
Fine I got a 100kg squat, so what? Unable to transit that to real life power? No significant improvement in leg strength so I really need to work on leg power. Simple plyometrics with good rest intervals and low reps, aiming for one time near maximal power output with good landings. Shall do so with pulling power too.
Nowadays for PK I aim for getting each attempt landing at the first try. Good job and I should keep it up. Focus for every attempt and give it your best, while maintain awareness fully. And its stupid to drill single movements without putting them into real runs, which is the most important. Speed and flow. Need to link up movements, flips included.
SDC already good enough so I don't really wanna over-prioritise it. Just stick to the get a new goal every day. And for running jumps, aim for alot of height. Learn the landing part of running speed plant.

Actually all the above goals were long ago, just that I've haven't got my head into it to work on it properly. Really stupid.

The 3 new years resolution in my personal blog:
Lower the expectation level and live life the way it should be lived.
Spread the love and lessen the hate. Acceptance.
And to further improve myself as an individual, physically and mentally.

Not-so-fun life.

2009-12-22T00:17:00.002+08:00

I'll go through today first.
Boxfit Tampines was closed for the time being, what news. No - rather, what TIMING. Irritating. So I had to settle to a further destination, Boxfit @ Eunos CC. Went there today, had to take sometime to settle down abit, quite retarded, I'm not sure if the bar and weights are the same, but I had to assume so, as it should and probably are the same. Form today wasn't the best of things, it didn't felt like my 92.5kg max-outs or the other days. I just don't have the feeling, pullups was feeling weak as well. I rested fully the day before, but, oh well, maybe let's not rely on feelings. So I squatted, 100kg. First rep turned out awesome, should've stopped there and then, finished, to pullups. But I went for the 2nd rep, bad form, overly leaned forward. Still, complacent, went for 105kg, squatted the worse rep of my entire career of lifting. This is not a question about being pumped enough or focussed enough, but whether it is too heavy. I underestimated a 5kg weight difference affectation. Thought it was easy. But no. Went for a solid 100kg rep again, but not good enough. Sure I can say I can squat 105kg, but honestly, I should've settled for 100kg one rep.

Pullups didn't turned out any better. Firstly it was the distance that ruined my mood, second the squats, thirdly the unfamiliar environment, and coming here already not have the 'gym-feeling', thought that this testing day couldn't've been worse. I did managed a good 30kg x 3reps, but struggled at the 35kg x1 (used to be able to do 37.5kg), and was fucking forceful in the 40kg, so no improvements. I need to tell myself that my 1rm testing days are not days that you push yourself to the BARE MAXIMUM. Your body isn't godlike, as if it can handle any weight you think it can handle. I hate the feeling when shorten the lifespan of my body joints/tendon/ligaments. Also, it could also be probably a bad routine that I created in the first place, I should be starting a new workout routine during March, but I'm not aiming for any big gains, just improvements in the weight range that i'm comfortable handling with.

Now that I watched my past year's strength training videos at the gym, I can say I improved quite alot, especially pullups. Didn't hit the target of OAC, not even close to it at all, but I can say I seriously underestimate the difficulty of it. And I really don't have much motivation to train it at all. Next year I should at least feel that I'm not far away from an OAC, and should hit 50kg pullups. Squats, hopefully 110kg x 3reps. 120kg x1 maybe, at least a 2x bodyweight squat, something I haven't achieve this year as well. I'll play by ear, and not expect too much of a gain again. get it.

And since the boxfit in tampines is closed, I'm lazy to go all the way to eunos CC all the time, and I hate that swimming complex gym, so I guess I'm on a hiatus till 4th jan. This period will be pure parkour training, explosive power!

But after that, later, in the evening, I went down for some small movements training, something that I've never done for quite a long time. I practiced my flips, sideflips are getting good now, i figured that I should untuck earlier in my fronts, and backflips is quite high too. I should be working on getting back my gainers soon, and then get my fronts/sides in combos outside. I significantly lost power in precisions involving height, should be working on that now. Still feel that the Simei SDC2LP is really far. I also figured my landings improved, softer now, but still need more control all the time.

Epic jammage rained heavily, quite a mood-ruiner, but still had fun with qayyim in the jelapang jam, indoor ramp was fun stuffs, small ramp but always new things to nail. Tic tac 2 pre, something rather new to me. Happy that I nailed it, but I should be wary that i take too much attempts before doing something. I need to focus more, still having occasional slip ups and that causes those bad landings or even bails that I should already have gotten rid off. I guess no point worrying about stuffs, just remember to not overpush myself, and focus, and control your landings.

Castle is gone, and its really sad, somehow, not having somewhere near to train all the stuffs that we all could train. Now torn down, all that remains is debris, sad to say...

Started editing arghrun, still figured i need more runs, more epic clips... more variety of people, should make a good edited film out of it. cp in motion 2 will be THE hit. just kiding, not hyping things up...

haven't felt too good about life at the moment, really boring, really monotonous, repetitive, same thing all day, really need to play my heart out, and money is getting in the way of it.

R.I.P Castle

2009-12-14T23:46:00.002+08:00

taken from facebook, written by me.

"Castle, a playground renowned for the amazing stunts people does in it and its unique structural surfaces, makes it so great for youths and adults alike to enjoy and chill out till the latest of nights.

Located at Tampines, it is probably the sole surviving old school playground left in it. However, it fell to the clutches of some contractors who felt that playgrounds should only cater the needs of children from the age 6 - 12 years old. And the 'poor' design of it seem to be dangerous for young kids. Same for the 'Shoe' and 'Mushroom' playground, demolition is knocking at its door.

We all share the grief of not having this one-of-a-kind playground, where traceurs can come and hone their skills, where children had the fun times playing blindmice, where all teenagers slack their days away... fond memories are sure to be kept. Sad to say, all good things had to come to an end.

Too late to sign a petition for it, for it is already being fenced up and its mats being torn apart. However, we can still show our agitation towards its demolition."

"so many things yet to be accomplished. honestly i saw this coming.haven't we heard the warning months ago. we took the warning for granted, not thinking that the demolition would ever come. yesterday i trained at castle, and it was totally fine, except for a sighting of fences and plank nearby. that made me ponder about t...he possibility of it being used to demolish castle. but i pushed that inkling away. today morning's call informed me of the fencing up of the area. expected it, i totally had expected it.

people would've regretted to not taking their opportunities, kept saying there'll always be next time. sadly, for castle, a playground where demolition would eventually take its course, there might not be a 'next time'. take this as a lesson learnt, to cherish whatever you have today, for you might not see it again tomorrow.

of course, its sad to see our finest go down into pieces. however, i'm happy to feel that i've came and conquered, cherished and celebrated, the one and only castle.

should've stuck a flag of PK:SG today."

R.I.P Castle.

Thinking, thinking, thoughts.

2009-12-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

Quite bored now.
Don't know why but I've been noticing an increasing loss of leg power over the days, landings became shittier, distance and height lesser, explosiveness now little to none. Months back, some even years back, I believe I can nail the precisions without much hesitation and quite nicely controlled. Don't just say legs, pulling power as well, my muscleups and climbups deteriorated, seems like I'm getting weaker the more I train. Maybe it is the weight that I'm gaining, or I just need some time to regain all my explosiveness after my testing day.

I realise I never really 'train' properly. My training consist low drilling intensity and general mucking around, no real intentions of improving myself, just testing new things or moving around, I need serious drilling, alot of them. If I go to a spot I at least to do a movement that I want to do at least 10 times, each of them with maximum focus. I don't want failed/screwed-up attempts. And I have been neglecting my rolls, stupidly. Secondly, I should keep going for runs, not single moves after single moves. Where's the application, and variety, and efficiency? Mundane trainings makes your body adapted to the same thing, so really, no point. Thirdly, as far as pushing my limits goes, once I hit more then 5 attempts, I should stop, earlier the better. And I should be aware of my posture in midflight, and the landing especially.

And time to really polish up my flips. Roundoff, the slantedness in my backflip, standing front, and gainer. You know, kinda like working on different movements, weaknesses, instead of strengthening your strengths. Imbalances can suck, alot.

Gym training somehow is getting good, 90kg x3x3 was good, I wonder if I can hit 95kg x2x2. 100kg is a must. Deadlifting 100kgx1 for 3 sets this weak, 27.5kgx5 pullups. Bench presses to me not so important, just maintaining really. About 4 more routines till my actual 1rm testing day. I can't wait. Seriously need to have focus while gyming. At this point, form is imperative. After this routine and all ready to power up and transfer all that I've train into the outside world. Deloading and then working on front squats, and plyometrics.

Essentially two videos that I want to create.
Lack inspiration, but no worries, I'll get them well edited.

ARGHRUN! aka 'A.M.A Showreel'. TBR New Year.
CP: In Motion 2. TBR March 2010.

Ah well, no point writing down more, as I already know what I should do.

2 weeks into 'holidays'.

2009-11-22T22:47:00.002+08:00

Here's what I got in mind. Part-time job and train all the way, till schools start. Since I need money anyway. Yeah but I won't be working so much, 3 times a week will do. Training's priority, since now I got the time. Job is a something that I need to do to serve as a money-supplier and get working experience. I really have to juggle my priorities well, fit them into a schedule and fend off laziness and procrastination. Shouldn't waste time really, whether or not the O's are over. So save up money, cut down on unnecessary expenses, spend wisely, and finally you gonna have money for LONDON! Next year June will be the year. Hopefully by then I would have 1 or 2 companions. Thats enough, really.

I really want to train to a level where I'll be confident to achieve stuffs in London and Lisses. I don't wanna go there and not be able to really train at all. But I need to understand that for everything, there's always limits. As long as I know when is going too fast or doing too much, I should be sailing just fine. Push myself a little bit is fine, but know when to stop. I can't dream for too much in such a short time. Just keep on training, train hard, train smart. Basics - the most important. Remember to be aware at all times. Full effort each attempt - No half-hearted/unfocussed/done-on-impulse movements. Clear your mind and do it. Constant repetitions, do the best you can for all reps. Work on weaknesses - Wallpasses. Buildering. Climbups. Rolls. Aim for control and all. Height in your sdcs. Getting over high obstacles quick.

Strength trainings on the other hand, I still have the goal in my mind 100kg squat for 1 bloody rep. I think I'm just gonna go gym at least 3 times everywhere (now that it is raining it seems like 4 times is possible too though). I think I'll start the routine very soon, but I'm not sure whether it could work it especially there's so many things that could possibly screw things up - last minute plans, woke up late, chalet, school and work. But yeah I'm just gonna do it. Pullups strength incredibly slackened, but I shall work on it. Deadlifts is so damn easy, but I need to drill them consistently for my back. Let's start the squat fever again, I lost it for so long.

Gonna get my frontflip polished and back up on form, and then drill running gainer and gainer off platform, whipback, roundoff back, slowly stop the slantedness of my backflip too. Train really good standing sides and powerful front, tighter tucks. Move on to concrete, get crane to sides. Softer landings, controlled one by one landings. Don't fight fear, neither do you succumb to it, rather let it go naturally. I believe I'm gonna go to twists once all the above are achieved.

Alright lets not talk so much, you know what you should do.

Lameness.

2009-11-07T20:40:00.003+08:00

Exams over, time to play, but more of slack seriously. don't know if i got the enough commitment to find a job.

today at boxfit, trained with tutu for the first half, was a deadlift (core training) day, decided to skip presses, did pullups (which totally sucks) and front squats as a supplementary exercise. that supposed to be the 2nd exercise of the day but things don't go as planned you know - people using the squat rack, one after another. sadly the 2nd person who used it was doing deadlifts, and bent over rows, sharing with another person as well, doing plenty of sets, while me over there waited for minutes after minutes watching them do badly executed lifts, and whole lot of stupidity. those kind of lifts can be done on the floor, but they want the squat rack, fuck sia. share also dont want share, selfish-core, despite several pleas. of course the guy, with his egotistic mindset of i'm better you're just a small kid, went on doing his own stuffs, tried to act big, but failed. i know that if i aggravated the matter enough, i might get punched hard, especially that guy is a trained lifter, big size and all, definitely i can't deal much of impact. hais fuck this kind of people appearing in boxfit, using intimidation to win people. they're childish.

things like this happens and spoils your mood in an instant, making the thoughts inside your mind like a whirlwind - repeated thoughts of the scene, thinking of what ways you could've changed what you've done or just constantly cursing the guy, all these tweaks your facial expression to show the abhorrence of the situation happening right infront of you. boils your nerves, wanting your hands to turn into a fist, giving a knuckle sandwich right there and then. however reality seeps in before your body could go off course - doing such wouldn't rectify the situation at all, in fact it merely worsens it. seriously all you could do is to forget about such stupid people and mind your own business.

just forget about such retarded experiences and focus ahead,
today i got one new move, roll to sideflip. rather easy actually. i think my backflip got better in terms of being able to do it anytime and however i want, although its still lamely slanted. frontflip utterly slackened, used to be able to get so much height from it, now not even being able to control the landing or knowing the time to untuck, need so much more practice still. landings in all are still rather impactful, need to strive for controlled landings now that i can get them to second nature. my roundoff back is ok, i think i roughly know the technique, but needs more practice in a safe area, because it times to travel dangerously diagonally. sideflips getting more align. need to get over fear of gainers in one way or another now, and constantly practice the basics, and apply them into the streets.

impacts impacts impacts, still unable to get myself to do all movements within my level of control. i can land well, save myself well, but all of this not when the movement is too big, or not in the right state of mind (fatigued or unfocused). whatever it is, i should humble my movements and go back to the simple stuffs that are not beyond my ability of control. just no need big moves man.

gonna need to find time to really film, timelapse and artistic shots, and put my angles and camera movements into work, not just little boring angles. and static shots. 23 lame seconds of my video, i got 540 subscribers now, i wonder how much more would ARGHRUN! bring.

holidays now, time for proper training in boxfit, and movements outside, wondering if i could squeeze two days a week of work, and some other days for outings with my friends.

some mini goals. 3 times a week gym, handstands daily (improved alot but still not confident of saying that i could do the handstand anytime and anyhow i want yet), lesser impact lesser pushing, controlled landings all round, more humble, more trainings on frontflips, relax and stay happy.

btw, add-on to the 'traceurs in their delusions' post
"I forgot to mention how elitist our clique are. Self proclaimed 'higher-class' traceurs. We are damn egotistical, face it. Actually, don't just say the more experienced batch, just traceurs in general (however, not all, they are handful of humble ones). Just look at some newcomers, they feel as if they are so good, they HAVE to be respected, any (even minor) insults are taken as if a stab in their reputation. Thus they rebutt to your (rather harsh but truthful) replies thinking they you ain't any better, or 'if' you are, they'll think you're a big shot. Just like us, everytime we see a newcomer doing stupid things, we don't try to correct, instead we try to disgrace them, badmouthing them behind their backs. And we hardly try to teach anyone properly, and label much of newcomers as posers."

Training commences in 5 days time; pre-thoughts.

2009-11-01T11:28:00.002+08:00

Seriously weakened in strength and loss abit of power. No longer can I do some standing precision I once perceive as something within my level of ability, albeit nearing the edge of my maximal power output. My mind wasn't agreeing with my body - what I thought I could do, my body failed me. Resulting in impactful landings, bails, and decrease in confidence. Landings was well badly controlled, some stupid bails and knees and ankles feeling so tired... only thing that improved lately is my handstands.

Gym training wasn't too good as well, form didn't really improve, squats felt alot more tiring, pullups was weak - couldn't do 20kg x5 x3, something that I used to be able to do easily.

Whatever it is, conclusion is, I need to get back to training and regain my form.
Starting from basics, landings and rolls. I shouldn't focus on the big stuffs really... just getting back the things that I've done before, with control of course.

Traceurs and Their Delusion.

2009-09-27T21:50:00.007+08:00

Thinking about it now...
Traceurs are so blinded by reality. Most of them, not all, but really think... are you guilty as charged?

Single-handedly by far the most delusional intent of a traceur... making a video. Most traceurs are making, getting a camera just to film and create their own videos, causing alot of hype and all. Purpose? Definitely not just 'fun'. If so, how is it not stupid to impact oneself just for creating the most epic video on earth, what's more at the cost of your used-to-be healthy joints.

I think a proper video should be showing every single movement is something I can actually do at the first attempt. Save for some last minute hesitation of accidental cockups, but as long as 90% of the time you can do it, rather easily, that's what a good video supposed to be like... the first shot from the camera = the clips in the video. (except for camera filming cockups...)
That's actually what we should aim for in training, to get everything in the first attempt. Movements near maximum should be reserved for pushing yourself days only - on rare occasions. DEFINITELY not for showing off, thats just suicide.

If you know you can do it, doesn't mean you should actually do it. Only when you are fully confident you can control it, that's when you can give it a shot. Something about SDC is that I always overestimate how far I can go with it and take it as if its not impactful to go full swing. No need to mention anything about wallpass or the impact delivered up your knees each failed attempt.

Showing off, part of human ego? Somehow I feel that traceurs think that they are stronger then the 'typical humanoids'. Probably stronger then pure sedentary ones, but we still have alot to work on. My functionality in strength resulting for Pk to real life is minimal, how am I supposed to believe I'm strong? How 'strong' it is really to jump over distances and climb gracefully, with speed? How 'strong' it is to pullup over 20kg and drive your hips up over 90kgs on your shoulders in a squat? But in the streets, you can't handle a punch, you can't handle endurance running, you can't even carry and move heavy objects or carry out the simplest of tasks... how embarassing to mention that you're strong. Self-defense is a skill, much more applicable then any other activities in life.

I forgot to mention how elitist our clique are. Self proclaimed 'higher-class' traceurs. We are damn egotistical, face it. Actually, don't just say the more experienced batch, just traceurs in general (however, not all, they are handful of humble ones). Just look at some newcomers, they feel as if they are so good, they HAVE to be respected, any (even minor) insults are taken as if a stab in their reputation. Thus they rebutt to your (rather harsh but truthful) replies thinking they you ain't any better, or 'if' you are, they'll think you're a big shot. Just like us, everytime we see a newcomer doing stupid things, we don't try to correct, instead we try to disgrace them, badmouthing them behind their backs. And we hardly try to teach anyone properly, and label much of newcomers as posers.

Saying that parkcore is non-competitive but yet, truly in their hearts, some of them are still competitive. People only trying stuffs after people doing it, always, all the time... and not trying to find their own way. Really?

Alright having stated that, let's not just point fingers and each other, and ponder among yourself.
Really having realised things, I don't know still why can such stupidity occur, at all.

Guilty of showing off. Whether subconsciously or consciously, its difficult to hide...
Guilty of impacting myself unnecessarily, rushing to do stuffs way beyond my league...
Guilty for re-committing mistakes I've foolishly done in the past...
When people's around, a tendency to do something. Truthfully, I wanted to do the dash because I thought it was possible. Looks stared, and fuck, I start to feel that I'm doing it to showoff, because thats how I portray myself to be. My conscience states, I wanted to do the dash. Purpose of getting it film, a milestone of progression and of course telling myself that I've done so, or check for improvements. But I feel like I'm showing off. Subconsciously. That's not utterly bad I guess, because I don't purposely try to want to gain attention, because I know even if I'm alone I'll do it. In fact, I should spend less time filming. It makes you feel like you are getting it on film to showoff that you can do it.
Memories flickered through my mind... what happened to me knee because of that stupid wallpass attempts - near 50 times. For? Getting it on film. For? Attempting to impress.
Impacts are not worth. You are gonna last not for long, and that defeats the purpose altogether. Pushing yourself is good, but too harshly is never. Be aware of yourself and your limits, and be in control of every single movements. IF you know its far beyond your limit to control that movement, then don't. Flips different case though.

CP, please wake up.
Hopefully that's the past and you get your mindset rinsed.

Should anyone approach me and question the reason why I make a video now, or train Parkour, I must be able to answer it reasonably, properly, without any hesitation (and of course honestly, not some made up reasons). That's a show of your clarity in whatever you are doing. That's one problem I have, I can't seem to be able to answer things from scratch, split seconds, and that's why I suck in debates.
----
Why do I train 'movements':
Of course, the freedom being experienced, and the understanding of the ability of humans to be constantly break barriers. Purpose? No particular purpose. I just love moving, the feeling each time I do something, achieve something, makes me feel alive.
Flips, serves no way applicable in real life, but so is much of PK. I feel flips is another form of expression, just in rotations, twists, inversions. Fear control.
Why am I really willing to risk my life, and maybe cut short half of my knees lifespan, is because if you consider and typical human being, whose life is to eat alot but yet not stay active, my knees are certainly grow stronger than them. I rather live a life of value, of experiences, and if I die, I will be appeased, knowing when I'm old, I'll be looking back at my videos and tell myself how much I have achieved, something to be proud and happy about, and am willing to face the consequences of whats to come. I'm not saying this so I can just disrespect my body, but it is the fact to know that joint problems are near inevitable.

Weight training:
If you see how much I tend to make weight training to reason to get strong as opposed to conditioning, you know why and how serious am I towards this. And how much I throw away the false accusations of stunt growth due to it. I do squats because, its also another passion, not just a supplementary exercises. Again, being strong includes with and without weights. Main reason still, it is to show that no matter how tough the weights rested upon your shoulders is, the feeling of recruiting every single muscle fibers to execute your maximal strength and power output, one shot, AHHHHHHHHH and you're up, maintain the form and all, that feeling, beats most things hands down. Shows how powerful your body is, and that feeling of boosting your 1rm by Kgs each time round, shows that the impossible never was impossible. I don't do weights for appearance. PLease.

Videos:
Another form of expression. I love being creative as much in video editing and in PK. Translating my thoughts into video form, without any rules or restrictions to comply to, letting people see my creation. Hopefully being intrigued by it. Its about what you do with a simple camcorder, and put together with a video editor, to come up with a fine piece of arts. Everything comes with an interest, and this is mine. I seriously need to start working on short films not just PK and PK and PKKKK.
PK videos are made to showcase progression, but that in mind, I shall be wary to not exceed my limits just to get a good shot on film. If you can't there's no need to force. And to connect with the people in other countries, have seemed to work out quite well, like gaining popularity of our spots. And traceurs have a worldwide bond, I want to share my video with the world. Showing the world what's possible, inspiring people. I love making videos and since I can combine both interests, this could be a starting point of development towards my future filmmaking career.
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Few things to note: Work on rolls, muscleups, handstands, controlled landings in drops and cranes, wallpasses. Gym thrice a fortnight, do homeworks, stop wasting time, practicing handstands, sleep on time, train flips hard after school.
One weekday train, Sunday gym, Saturday slack, One day full swing studies, the rest balance out.

Blog's Stagnance

2009-09-20T19:04:00.002+08:00

Not on purpose. Just that I don't feel that there's alot to be blogged about and I'm pouring my thoughts out on my 'personal' blog, where I am posting so much more there as compared to here, because probably I'm no longer thinking of being secretive of my life. So what if people know. But that doesn't mean I want to get more unwanted attention, that's why the training logs of mine are kept in its original place (here). But probably you people should read the other blog too... if you want.

Recent trainings, let me think.
Park core wise I would think it is really improving, especially in precisions (on rails even) and the running armjumps at castle. Wallpass still kinda inconsistent, climbups getting back on form, 180s (cat2cat/pres) are improving massively, catpass at a new higher level (with so much ease @ shinos now), laches are losing power (probably due to lack of practice). Strides more confident, runs are faster, confidence level improving, as my belief is strong (being able to do most movements as height without much hesitation, after awhile), also knowing my limits better. Gotten running precisions are Bishan and Dame Du Lac shows that I'm improving in leg strength. Bails are less (though not completely eradicated). Of course with everything there's area for improvements, that is with rolls, and landings. Rolls is really poserish, as until now I'm not fully confident, and landings are still quite loud at times, not well absorbed. Lost my crane at tree garden, and my crane ain't very strong too.
So three things to work on, rolls and wallpasses and cranes.

Flips wise, can say pretty much the same. I've gotten higher sides, side-to-sides, more comfortable fronts, ok on concrete and being able to do most of the time, albeit sideways sides. Backflips are still weird though. One of the flips I've havent fully figured. Its always moving to the side, and my roundoff back is really off, low. roundoff - another thing that I need to work on. Wallflip, bailed once, probably lost confidence, but I've never been confident with that before. Unable to get height, feels weird and scary, lots of things to work on. Fixing the rotational axis and expanding my repertoire of tricks, the things that top my flips to-do lists. Also, combining flips with Peekay outside.
Handstands can say have improved, but it feels really inconsistent.

Strength training at gym. Haven't got there much, less than 3times each fortnight, but it is all good. Squats have still been the same, of course, pretty much because I've never been training. But still leg strength is improving. Got a napfa test for a shirt thing, got 266cm, furthest ever I've jumped, which is obviously badly landed and probably 98% full force. I feel back pains yesterday, weirdly. A sign for me to stop impacting myself and strengthen my back even more, rest and stretch and some fish oil. So need to train on deadlifts (not maximal though). I'm thinking of the exercises I should do when I'm just aiming to maintain strength... still got lots to learn about strength training. Also, what routine should I undertake when O's are over. I'm still aiming for the ultimate goal 100kg squat x1. Doubtful that I can nail an OAC though.

Nutrition-wise, my weight stands at 52.8kg today, but waxes and wanes between 52 to 53.8(max recorded). I think I should watch my weight a little, not that I'm so vain about fats and stuffs, but hopeful to eliminate most unnecessary bodyfats as possible, so it'll help in my movements. Muscle mass are inevitable, but ain't that bad, hopefully. I hope people don't get the wrong idea that I train for muscles, because really, the results of them are all these trainings. Hmm maybe cut down on chicken skin, big portions of rice, hash browns, oily foods, and eat more fish, noodles or things.

thats all.

Blah.

2009-08-29T11:33:00.003+08:00

Training hasn't been very good, I've been lacking motivation, but rather of studying as is my intended purpose of training less, I've been using computer at an overbearing rate of time, much exceeding my usual days when I go out to train. My main reason to not go to gym that often anymore is so I could get more rest and study for the hurdles that's to come. But no. Even flips and movements are getting abit off form, well I mean my sideflips are totally slanted now and my backflips are sloppy. Handstands are getting frustratingly difficult to handle now, so much for playing the computer and not drilling them as much as I did in the past. I don't know why I am spending countless hours, directionless on the computer. Well I understand I have the get my daily dosage of Facebook and Youtube, but once things are done I'm still randomly moving my cursor aimlessly, trying to fill my remaining time of the day on websites that mean nothing to me.

Anyway the Zouk Performance was a blast, which had me getting over the fear of flips on concrete and forget about how sloppy my tricks were and just do it. Granted, it is a small crowd, but my pressure during the performance was nearly zero. Things went so well in the actual performance despite cock-ups in the rehearsals. Best thing was how good we all worked together and getting paid for doing what we like. First time goes a long way.

Money is still a problem for me now, unwilling to spend money, still needs alot of saving up to do, with certain camera problems I'm facing now. Maybe I was overboard. Next week is Sept Holidays and I shall make use of the no-school time to gym and travel abit, BUT still study to prepare for the Big O's. Prelims results will only be released after the holidays, hopefully by then I'm fully charged to the main exams of secondary school life.

Also I found the fun from blogging, and really although it ticks hours away from the clock, it's a way to vent your anger, into pixelated words on the monitor. When people reads, either they understand or misinterpret it.

Fliprogression?

2009-08-10T19:52:00.003+08:00

I'm starting to feel improvement in flips especially in the confidence aspects in it. Soon when i get my computer fixed I will make a fliprogression video. AND the UK traceurs jam video. etc. I mean I could do flips on concrete now, without much fear or needed preparations. PK also seems to be improving just fine, SDC is probably the best of it all, but I still need to get my other movements like wallpasses and proper runs all solid. It was a fun day yesterday making a total nuisance at the streets, gotten my long awaited round off back - on hard ground as well. I just have a few more aims.. to get my sideflips in line and backflip too. I am pretty sure all the other movements will come down soon, especially gainer. Gotta need to push my limits more and not be scared of trying new stuffs.. wall sides and fronts.. the only way to get it is by doing it. Just keep training the flips. Handstands also improving.. abit. Maybe I should really get it consistent and start walking around with my hands more often. All part of it. Gonna nail new stuffs every training session. Gym stuffs are also handling well, but prelims are around the corner and olevels inching ever closer. so time is a limiting factor, and i should make sure i make full use of it instead of wasting time doing nonsensical things.... for some time already.

Long time since I've blogged!

2009-07-24T23:15:00.003+08:00

Not really.
I should have alot of things to blog about, but my memory span is limited, so I forgetten alot of things. And I have been pretty busy nowadays, school work taking up much of the load, but all these are pretty much excuses as I still got time to waste time on the computer.

Instead of rambling the nonsensical stuffs, time to pour my mind out.
First things first, the jam with the UK traceurs. Was crazy. Got plenty of clips of them but none of PKSG, except for me and one or two of the others, so it kinda sucked. Still havent got my computer settled yet, so now editings can't be done. Or the video would be out already, I guess. Trainings was good, all I can see that is they fear very little, meaning they have incredible confidence for each and every movement they do. They save themselves very well and although pushes their limit alot, their body is still in full control.

Things to be noted :
- As Pahcall is actually much more of a mental discipline, than a physical one, one should focus alot more on the mental side. Not just to philosophical side, but the mental side of movements, that is high elements, instincts, fear, pushing one limits (within one's control still), confidence, knowing your limits well, getting each movements in the first attempt/giving your all in each attempt, and anticipating falls (thus less fear). Again, I trying to stick to the getting one thing new at least each time you train, and you expose yourself to stuffs that you [are scared of/never tried/don't like].

- Speaking of mind and the like, I don't think my mind is that trained yet, philosophically. For instance, I stumbled when being asked the question of 'why do I do this'. I still can't properly decipher my thoughts. Freedom is overly general. I know what I'm doing is right, at least in my mind, but the translation from thoughts to words or speech is harder than I thought. Not too sure, but I do need some ponderings on this issue.

- The UK mentioned about the over backpatting and clapping and cheering after something nailed something huge/new/scary, and about it being a put off and a negative thing, quite contrary to our community's beliefs. True that from our PKSG videos, there's the hype and all with the screams and claps, but it subconsciously create a unnecessary hype and difficulty across the move that the person just did. It isn't very much huge, but because of the fact that we see Anan/Neil/Alex/Shaun did it, means its of a high standard, and we dare not try it because it might seem we are no way near their standard. This is a close sign to competition, but again subconsciously. And it might also trigger a person's thought to want to do the same thing, but just for the claps and cheers. Congratulating a person is good, but we shouldn't overdo it.

- Our communities lacked the mental factor of the discipline. Most of the guys only do it for the sake of doing it, and lack the knowledge of why they actually do it. They might say to others that they know, but how much do they truly understand this art is beknown only to them. We all should place higher emphasis on the spiritual side, not just physical.

- And we don't seem to interact much with the UK traceurs, probably unopened or shy, but they did mentioned we are taking things too seriously, and we should be less tensed up and just be all jovial and have fun in our trainings.

Enough of that. Was hell of a week I can assure you, nailing a couple of stuffs in Buangkok and Bishan, and even in castle. Mostly about SDCs. And high elements precisions and catleap at Buangkok. I'm quite happy with the control of my fear now. But I have to control it so it would not reckless.

Haven't been training much this week, but still have been through abit. At least being told about stuffs from my friends about my foul points. Maybe its true, I lack general awareness and knowledge, and not exposing myself to new things. But other then that are all false analogy. Don't know why, this week havent felt so fulfilling. Don't see much achievements from this week. Just coming back from school and studying for the upcoming tests, and doing homework. And then waste plenty more time on the computer. Its just felt really mundane and all, trainings are have been so-so. Today I nailed a huge 7.5 of my foot SDC2lp, but just once, so it doesnt really count. I shall try it again another day. And I should vary my movement more, not just SDC.

Moodless it is. It seems to be as if direction lost its track. Should look forward to a better week next week.

One more week till..

2009-07-06T17:33:00.002+08:00

UK TRACEURS!!
Both top notch traceurs, 4 days fiesta. What's there not to look forward?
Except the unfortunate clashes with school and stuffs. But I'm sure I would be able to compromise.

Ok, back to the normal rants and ramblings you often read in my blogs.
Was quite a hectic start to the school's third term, but all's good. Got to practice alot of Amaths and study more so I have the feeling that I've done something productive. That's what I need to feel to get rid of the guilty thoughts. What's more, I have been consistently practicing handstands at home and it has been improving. Its good enough that its improving, all I need to do now is to keep that up and soon it'll get to the standard where I would then be able to say I could handstand confidently.

I think my flips are rather inconsistent, but I feel some progression in it. It really depends on the day. I could only land a standing side on flat, something I think I will be working on in the next few days. Sideflips are getting better, but sometimes the landing still is abit loud. And one leg off a wall seems to be abit funny, still can't get it inside of me. Frontflips are still sometimes good sometimes bad, but when its good it is really good. I still want to get back my standing front off heights. I lost it because of some phobia. I gotten back my wallflips yesterday. And my roundoff is getting better. I think in a matter of time I should be able to get my RO back. Also need more control in my flips, like better air awareness, land in line with my punch off, clean up my backflip technique, tighter tucking and all.

Flips list yet to be accomplished.
- Standing Side
- RO Arabian proper
- RO Back
- Back layout (on wallflip maybe)
- Standing fronts back
- Gainers
- Wall Sides
- Side to Sides

Park core, on the other hand, nothing much to say. My castle running catleap since to be quite uncontrolled, and the technique seems to be cocked up. Climbups slackened, but precisions seem to improve in terms of control. But still my movements feels kinda impactful. Shoes dying out. Have cut out the time taken to prepare for a move, slowly seeing the progress, should get rid of it soon. I almost gotten the huge wallpass at Simei, but would take my time for it. Need to get better softer landings, even on catleaps. Yeah so a couple of progressions here and there, just need to work on consistency. Better landings. Less impacts.

I hope my files in the other computer still stays intact. Going to fix it this saturday. Very last minute. Need to learn my lesson to back up everything. Not the first time that such had happened. It is really irritating, don't know what am I going if I lost the files. Sydney guys and the other unused footages. And my Vegas program, and my music files, video files. Shit man, I bought a 180gb ext. hard drive but did not save my stuffs in it. Why? Too lazy. And I should use tapes properly. No overwriting but saving it. Shit man.

OH well. Pray hard things goes fine.
More things up in my other blog. Now more frequently updated.

Must, be, motivated.

2009-06-28T14:27:00.002+08:00

Quite a series of changes, that needs to be applied as soon as possible.

I think I should cut down alot on the time I spent rather aimlessly on the computer. To about 2 hours on the school days. Spend more times training and studying (more so studying), and knowing how to balance the time altogether. Probably 2hours of gym/normal training, at max. Shorter all the better. More socialising but studying with friends for sure. I would aim 3 hours of studying a day at least. Productive studying. Sleep early, wake up earlier, pay attention in class. Do homeworks, and practice alot.

I think there's nothing else to motivate you but yourself and yourself alone. That's the most powerful motivational tool you would ever need. Once you get that, its just how much effort you work towards your goals and all to get it all sorted out. I'm so gonna aim high for prelims, and maintain it throughout. But so far I have alot of work to do. I keep forgetting the past theories and practices that I've done, so need to keep doing to get it in my mind. Maybe my past results shows that I'm actually quite good but in actuality I'm not. And I hope I don't peak too early.

Music is seriously an addiction now. I suddenly got myself indulged in certain awesome new songs, but sadly my computer's (which is in a total wreck now) speaker is spoilt. And I can't transfer songs into my phone (which is pure sucky anyway). And I want to study with some music because its just so nice. Hope my computer would be repaired and every file and things remain fully intact. And get a new walkman phone, WOOTS.

FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE IS CURRENTLY ROCKING IT.
HIT THE LIGHTS COMES SECOND.
not forgetting all the rest. I'm starting to experience a change in my favourite genre. Drum and bass does not stood out like it did in the past anymore. INDIE ROCK.

Also, I think I'm closer to my friends now. Maybe just abit, but I think its much better then the times before. We shouldn't forget that they are one of the most important things in life, and we should cherish as much as we can now. Much less stumbling and awkwardness when talking to girls. But I should also need to know my limits when it comes to jokes and opening my mouth. Like accidentally blurting out something that shouldnt be told or being overly too bastard. YES.

OK haven't really gone into the training aspect.
My wrist is abit fucked for awhile, but its healing up I guess. Handstanding too much. ARgh. If I don't do, will feel guilty, if do, wrist pain, then guilty also. How confusing eh. Flips haven't improved too much, but I would think my frontflips are really good now. Yeah I think my trainings still abit impactful, and I lack control still in my SDC2P (like going down one especially). And I still need to give my full in each attempt, but learn not to overprepare yourself. Focus in all circumstances, still bailing unnecessarily and I want to cancel out all bails and even stupid impacted landings.

Bishan ytd was fun, but my shoe is seriously going to die. The area, maybe grippy, but still makes you slide like nothing, and the sound on each overly downwards catleaps on the walls is unforgiving to the ear, like slicing away 0.1mm of your soles each time round. I don't know really, I would hate to change my shoe as it havent even last for more then half a year yet and training at Bishan would inevitably means the tearing of soles. Should take care of my shoes more. On the brighter side, I nailed a larger cat2pre and also and SDC2P (finally). But trained abit too much, wasted alot of time with friends, something I must control now.

Gym training, muchly postponed and I doubt I would have time to have a routine or something as of now. But still would go to gym, just gonna make it short and sweet. It's going well at the moment, soon gonna work on front squat and deadlifts, pushing my bench press as well, I would think of a routine to peak somewhere around the O'levels period. Prelims and all coming right up this August, July would already be packed enough with practicals, O's listening and orals, and the 4 days jam with the UK guys, so there's really so much coming up. Planning a timetable for sure, getting myself all motivated.

I shouldnt spend anymore longer blogging, but be sure to read my "deeenester.blogspot.com" for more. AIK.

Records!

2009-06-19T18:58:00.004+08:00

Just came back from jim, gotten myself two new personal records.
Let me update my PR list.

Personal Records (as of 19 June 2009)
Full squats - 92.5kg x 1rep
Pullups - 37.5kg x 1rep
Deadlifts - 85kg x 3reps
BenchPress - 60kg x 3reps
MilitaryPress - 40kg x3reps
Front Squats - 60kg x5reps

What happened today. I think I didn't do too well with the squats. I got the main aim of 90kg rather easy so I went to go for 92.5kg, which I think I can handle rather easily as well, so I didn't put my heart and soul to get it up as I know I would already be able to do it (overconfident, complacent, again). So just get down I thought I could got up easily, but no I didn't, it was a badly forced rep with rounded back and I was really unsatisfied with it. Was rather reckless knowing this as a 1rm test I should put my effort for solid form but no. Mimics a huge drop with horrible back rounding in the landing. 92.5kg, how come I am not realising that poor form would mean bad things. So lesson learnt AGAIN.
Nevermind about that. Thought I would give my proper all in a second try in order to make things up. Was alot better the second try. Proper form. So I would consider that as a proper PR. Pullups on the other hand, was on a much higher note. I got my first goal of 30kgx2 rep, then easily nailed 32.5kg, and 35kg was still submaximal. 37.5kg where I thought would be my final one, put all my effort into it, got it well. Was quite a good improvement from the last 28kgx3rep record.

Both records was good. Both showed good progression towards my main goal. 100kg squats (2plates) would be a goal to get by this year (if possible, 100kg for reps), and probably do 40kg pullups for a few reps is good enough. Need to do more OAC negative, something I never train at all... So I guess the next routine will be around August, final routine of the year. Probably should hit those goals at the end of the year. I'm nearing them in just half a year, so with enough hardwork I should easily get them with some time to spare. I hope. Lets not be too confident.

Deloading in the meantime. And before the new routine I would like to touch up on my benchpresses, frontskwats and alivelifts. Probably I want to get a new record for my deadlifts (3rm), should be easy, and front squats to 70kg. Slowly. Just get good frontsquatting form and benchpress, I think just maintain. Maintain all my lifts and go for reps and good form instead of heavier ones. Getting use to the weights now instead. Just make use of spare time to polish up everything. Train my lowerback. Power. All this so I can exceed squatting plateaus. I have no idea what to do for the next routine, so some research would be needed as well.

On the other hand.. movements.
I hope I get it. Ever since the huge SDC2P nailed at Chong Pang, I have always been finding bigger, further sdc2p to do as to push my limits. Same goes for most things. Then realising theres no biggie about getting big big stuffs. There's much more important things to go for rather then those. Rushing your way there wouldn't get your anywhere, the most just shortening the lifespan of your knees. So, its better not to. Also, I'm bored of just doing sdc, sdc and sdc. There are other more important stuffs to train for, and its just stupid to train on one thing.

As human, we are all entitled to changes. In the past, its all about how wide a table can you dive kong over. Or dash. About what kind of vaults you can do, how high you can go. Then just abit of change, then all of sudden its climbups. Best climbups, fastest, straight armed climbups. The cleaner the better. Then you get to know more about PK. You know its not about climbups only. But I think the main craze is to get the further SDC now. It is like the traceur trademark, huge catpasses. At least that's what I see in Singapore, but I'm pretty sure other countries are, too. Quite alot of emphasis placed on SDCs. But nowadays, its all about strides and leg power, buildering as well, that is in the UK.
Gotta need to vary everything, not just SDC or wallpasses or far precisions. This includes flips and things, work on my weaknesses. I need to drill more on my control in my precisions and landings. Can't stick stuffs well, landings loud and uncontrolled. Still not used to rolls. So need more practice.
--------------
SUNDAY's update.
Yesterday training was quite good, went to Buangkok, and of course, loving the place.
That is, for peekaye. Flips are kinda fucked up, but I just need to keep drilling, I guess. My backflips are like, amazingly so hard for one who have gotten it for so long already. It just feels so weird. I hate my backs, but shouldn't dwell to much on it. Each bail means -20% of what I've learnt. Screw up the muscle memory so bad. Still can't get a soft landing on it. Sideflips are getting weird too. Travelling diagonally, flailing up in mid air, lost its touch and feel, and not getting the height I used to get. Don't know why. Need to fix it up.

On the brighter side, I've gotten a further running catleap (the one a buangkok) and a higher one (damedulac), was pretty happy with both achievements. Both shows the strength I've gained and better technique. My landings was good that day, and no bails (excluding flips I suppose). Only did one SDC2p for a change, haha. But on normal catleaps I seem to neglect the other leg, so placing too much force on one leg in a cat don't seem good. Still trying to get better landings and saves. I know the technique for you know those jump high and place two legs high on the top of the wall but not exactly precision. Just got to absorb it properly, stick to the wall awhile, then slide down and grab the wall.

As much as it seems repeated, and rather obvious, I need to drill my flips, place more priority on them rather then pk. Because I'm long satisfied with my pOrkcore and all I need is better flips. So more practice on them. Still having fear with them and taking a rather long time to prepare myself for it. Don't know whats with that. Lost my wallflip too I think, and my lache gainer is just rusty. I need alot more practice. I used to have solid flips quite some time ago, but not sure why, things just gone down the drain. Let's not think negatively, just practice and I'll get there. Let's hope to learn more with the aussies and brits come.

Went to gym today, first day of deloading, and my pullups was the main issue. I can't complete 3sets of 5 with 60%1rm. Maybe it is because I'm only good with strength not endurance. And I rely alot on my recovery. Like sometimes its good (when fresh), sometimes its sucks (when tired). On other exercises they are okay and rather consistent. Not for pullups. All my forms of exercise can be better, too.

Got school on Mon, Tues, Wed, from 8am-6pm. So I can only train my flips during the breaks I guess. Take a small 3 day break from the gym as well. Interaction time.

Should spend less time blogging.
Main thing now, is to think positively, and practice more flips.

Handstands here I come.

Twists and Turns

2009-06-14T18:59:00.003+08:00

I'm just bored out.
This week isn't much of a good week.
Probably it is my mindset made it such.

I'm fell sick, couldn't train for today, slacking all the way. Can't exert any force on myself. Then the guilt of not training flips and handstands comes back. Internal conflict much. Was I lazy? Giving excuses such as I'm sick and weak. Or was I just listening to my body. Hopefully the latter. Still don't like the feeling though.

The next week would be pretty packed and I'm hoping it to be solid.
Routine's coming to an end, 3 more workouts. Time flies indeed, 5 weeks has flew past, 2 weeks of holidays are gone, but still not using time to any advantage. Everything will be getting tougher. Progressed in squats, so I hope I could finish up the last 2 main routines well. It's gonna be really hard but all the best to me. Pullups too. Then I remembered, I haven't been practicing OAC. Hope convenient it would be for a pullup bar at home. Too bad. And I seriously need to start training properly and not keep repeating the gloomy words here in my blog back-to-back each week.

Monday and Tuesday was just homeworking and just a 'rest' gym session. Was a good way to socialise more with friends. Finally got over the barrier, just gotta keep it up. Talking about homework, I better start doing some because there's no point slacking the day away, aimlessly surfing the net for god knows what reasons. I'm just too bored.
Wednesday was fucked. I thought of practicing abit of flips in school during break, was ok until one overrotated onelegged front caused me to bang into a pole. I also don't think of the consequences of bailing. I still bail quite often if I consider the small and stupid ones. So I couldn't go to gym because squatting would hurt my thigh. I just can't afford to bail, like why does it always happen. The feeling sucks. So slacked the whole day, and slept. Woke up to no good, mood spoiler and just wasn't a good day for me at all.
Thursday I achieved my 85kg x3x3 Squats relatively good and 26kgx3x3 pullups. Was a good workout day, satisfied alright. Went to Bishan straight after. Was fun and funny, trained abit and it was cool. But then, I felt I pushed myself just too much (to be honest I feel abit of knee pain when I went home). Like again, internal conflict, was feeling fucked about what happen yesterday, so wanted to vent it all out. Bishan was a shoe killer. But I nailed stuffs, mostly relating to tictacs. I still can't nail the sdc2lp at the first spot, my other leg is just inches below from the edge and I just can't put two legs up I don't know why. Should be able to nail them soon though.
Friday, went to swimming again with my friends. Was damn fun, slide was super shiok. Sengkang swimming complex. I suck at swimming so much but I felt progression. Started to be able to tread water but still struggling alot sometimes I'm kinda like struggling to survive while playing with my friends. Didn't train at all. Just handstands at night.
Saturday was ecp. Didn't train much too, just don't have much of a mood. I nailed a huge lache at the fitness corner but it could've been more controlled. Still have no guts to try a gainer, probably going to some condo's private swimming pool to attempt it. Roundoff back sucks I don't know whats so hard about it. I should practice my roundoff more. Then, after eating at burger king (spent nearly 8 bucks), went back to the blue rails spot. I bailed a sideflip there on concrete - shows how weak my flips are. Luckily nothing really happen, but just to know that I've bailed yet again really shows how unfocussed you are. What's more when you start to get more higher level, you just can't afford to bail. Need to start drilling flips alot, but I always do pk more then flips. Need self-discipline man. Then at night I felt that my head's heavy, which then I realize I'm feverish.

Seriously need to spend less and save up more. Just eat the most 4 dollars, would be good if its lesser. Eat simple, and proper. Don't keep succumbing to temptations for good oily, sugary food. You know you want to go to england soon, so you better start saving up, don't spend it anyhow.

My computer is fucked up and I can't use Vegas and neither can and copy and paste files. I just hope like please, that all my clips and songs will still intact when somebody repairs this computer. I must have those files, they are limited edition. I just can't lost it. I always live it to the last minute to save backups but then I'm always too lazy to do so. But once the computer gets fucked, I'll get fucked too. Hais..

Somehow all of my posts are all in negative light, never seem to be happy or what. Most of the time disappointed and criticising myself. Always thinking about the shortcomings, never focussing on the positive. Thats why I always ended up in a bad mood and thus a bad week. All having a negative influence to what's to come. Kind of contradictory because life should be lived in happiness. Should start being more positive.

Starting tomorrow.

Flips Progression: Stagnant?

2009-06-07T19:37:00.003+08:00

Much.

Let me see. This week passed quite fast amazingly.
1st of June was my Olevel's Chinese and I'm mentally prepared to see fail grades - again. Not like its a very suprising thing to happen, especially when I don't seem to even give effort in bettering it. Or I could just blame myself of not being adept equally in both languages at the start. But, no point crying over spilt milk now, as its already over. I should then put more efforts in the other subjects now. Lets not be complacent either...
So after that I went on to train at the gym, which is my first workout of the second stage (intensification phase). Turned out really damn well and I'm happy with how it went. After that went to castle and train some more, but mostly slacking and refining flips...

The next day was slack, just studied out with friends, trying to socialise and stuffs.. finished out one of my maths homework.

Then wednesday, went for training again at the gym.. wasn't very good because was tired, so I don't know.

Thursday went to yishun to train. Nailed my furthest SDC2P. I'm not very sure about the no. of footsteps but its about 7 and its high to abit low. Kinda amazing the satisfaction that you get when you nail it. Rail precisions seems to be much better.. although the fear is still there.. kind of. I bailed a dash to pre, was like very reckless as I just went for it when I'm not fully sure I could. I kinda lost my dash pre technique, and I really need to retrain for it. Gotta work on that for sure. Also, still can't nail the DB wall, so my mood is kinda ruined.

Friday, I went to gym. Not too bad again, but I think the form can be better. Nonetheless my squats are have never been failing reps yet but pullups yes, although I made it this workout. So its all good. The next weeks are gonna be killers, though.

Saturday was the Tamp jam that I've been waiting for as I could finally see my friends which I admit, I haven't really met for some time. Was not a very bad day actually. I got my wallflip, which was a great achievement for the fact that I haven't nailed any new trick for a long time. My roundoff back is still kinda off but I'll train hard for it. Wallflip isnt really that hard but I still don't fully get the technique. And its still kinda scary, but easy. But my sideflip on flat is crap, inconsistency is bad... Other then flips, my peekay is not that bad actually, improvements. I could nail the running cat quite easily now and nailed the further one, although shoddy. The one on the rail was nailed too. I nailed the crane at tree garden, although wasn't very good, but still landed. So good achievements in terms of leg strength and peekay. So FLIPS ARE MAIN PRIORITY.

Sunday (today) went out and train. Train some runs at the beginning for fun. Was fun. Then time to flip. Got back wallflip not long after, but its just weird. I can only do it with two step run up. I tried on the other walls and fear striked into me as well. But I went forward to just whack a wallflip with a longer run up and I freaked out and bailed. I took me damn long to get it back again. Internal conflict, mind and body. About 30minutes of running to the wall and telling myself I can, then i finally got it back. Battle with fear, I'm not sure why did I get so scared right after that. I think too much. And I seriously hype and tensed myself up before every move. Seriously unnecessary. Thinking too much. Unlike PK. Sideflip was still bad and backflip still going forward. Seems like flips isnt the thing for me.. irritating.

Oh well. Not very good things goes as flips are concerned. Again, I'm not trianing properly. I just need to do the least of 5 to 10 'perfect-as-it-can-be' flips of each kinds everyday and thats it. But I'm not doing so. In fact, each training session is making my flips worse, because of bad muscle memory imprints. I shouldn't do runs at first today, making me tired and that'll cost the quality of my flips. Hais, no wonder flips are not improving. Even when I tell myself to jump up, I still don't, and sometimes I'll just freak out, making things worse. Flips, are hell.
My flips used to be quite good about 2months back. But because of the lack of practice, my flips suckened. I need to start practicing alot on my flips, just flips rather then pk.

Handstandings, something I must do everyday. So far in this week I did indeed practicing abit of them. But I should do it everyday. This computer is really something that I can't live without. I'm just damn addicted to it. I'm also not studying, neither am I homeworking.

I hope I can use my time more productively. This is somethign that is repeated ever so often in the blog, kinda the new repetition of the past "overpushing myself" saga, but still all these is due to the lack of self control. Sometimes I feel I spend alot of time blogging, because I got so distracted and can't complete it from the start.

Lets not talk to much and sum up my goals now.
- Flips practise - short and full effort in each flip, 30minutes or summat. As much as I can
- Handstanding - 15minutes at night for every night
- Start studying/homework - 2 hours daily for as much as I can in a week.
- Socialise with friends - but remember slow and steady.
- Stop tensing myself up or take too much time to prepare for a move.
- Keep everything safe - low impact and controlled and no bails.

No time to train, or plain lazy, or needs a break?

2009-05-29T21:51:00.004+08:00

I guess I know why I'm always stuck with the same level of progression.
No use complaining when the fact is there that I don't even practice my flips much, neither do I train them properly. Repetitions, doing them everyday... There was once my flips improved quite fast because I was doing them alot, but I still have the thought that they are very 'big' and would need alot of power to do them or something, so I'm lazy to do them. Its unlike PK where you can just do the things after awhile but flips, its alot more technical. That's only because I'm not used to it and I should just do them more without excuses.

I said I wanted to work on my flips hard for this year but I don't think I'm anywhere near that goal yet. It's not because my flips sucks, but that I'm not working towards it. Like this, whats the purpose of that goal... handstands are still shit, the only reason why I took so long is the short amount of time spent on it, nothing else. I don't wanna rush progression and all and I know it isn't easy to gain progress, but of course, with practice comes natural progress, something that I've not been doing.

This week was incredibly packed and rushed. Really tired although there're some good points. The first day, I was released from school only around 5 then I went straight to gym. After that eat, bathe, use comp all the way. Never study or practice handstands. Ok, flips, maybe understandable, although its still shouldn't be an excuse. Wastage of time?
Tuesday I went out with friends to watch movie.
Wednesday I was dead beat tired because I'm again released after 5 and I knew if I were to go to gym I would be tired and wouldnt be able to complete the routine. So the whole day was rest. Didn't do anything the day before and this makes two rest days in a row, not good.
Thursday went for the routine, was sick, very happy with squats, 70kg x 6reps x 6sets done quite damn well, but pullups was pure shit, 20kg x6 x only3sets, with already lowered weight. Maybe endurance is not a thing for me with pullups, needa start training them for abit, after this routine.
Friday I went swimming (now sunburnt) and then went to eat at Seoul garden, wasting alot of money and stuffing myself with food overly, then went on to train with Richie. Nothing much just abit of drilling, my movements are pure sloppy still, the Stephen's Wall is kinda irritating as it always ruins my mood for wallpass.
Today (Saturday), I went for strength training for my routine. Was ok, but sometimes I feel my form somehow sucks, but I shouldn't stress about it that much. And now I feel my routine is a little bit tiring and getting in my way of training flips, but I shouldn't give too much excuses.

In school, although studies are stressful and boring, I managed to get some fun time with friends, more this time. At least I'm closer with friends and can talk to more people without awkwardness, although I wanna interact more with girls. That is also the reason why I went swimming and ate with them - to spent time out with friends, at the expense of Richie waiting for me (so damn sorry man, another habit I need to get rid of - being Zahid alot). And my results, 7 in class, 19/187 in level position. Maybe its stupid to compare rankings, because you are studying for better grades not to be the best, in the end what matters is the L1R4 which I got 10. My goal is anything <10 for L1R4, Chinese Olevels this monday wouldn't be so important as I know I would be using it for L1R4, but I'm trying my best to pass.

Strength training routine, hmm. Will be getting alot harder this week, pure maximal power output in the next week especially, and this week stuffs will already be alot harder. If I were to get the goal of the routine of a single rep 92.5kg squats, then I'm considering the fact that I'm halfway there. I'm not sure what routine I can go next but probably I'll peak at that routine in my 100kg squat. Maybe too early to plan, but I'm not sure anyway. I'm abit pessimistic of getting the OAC (due to the lack of work for it) by this year, so instead I'll plan to get like 40kg pullups as a substitute, that'll be good enough. Just gotta keep training hard, practice OAC now!

Nutrition needs work, I'm putting too much calories then needed. Protein is all good but just too much unneeded carbs and fats, calories too. I should cut down on oil. That day at Seoul Garden, just ate alot of stuffs. Been eating KFC and stuffs like that more often and not caring about the chicken skin. Maybe I was thinking that once in a while it doesn't matter, but I've gone way too far. What's more all these wastes money, I should control myself a little more, you gotta save whatever you can, so save up man.

Got a thought of swimming though, my swimming sucks to the core, I can barely swim. Somehow not very confident to swim to save my life. I need to learn the essentials, practice more, especially the technique to tread water, and of course the front crawl. With it, at least I wouldn't be scared to drown if I were to dive off cliffs in the future, or for survival.. I went to flip into the water but get caught by the lifeguards, bloody hell. It sucks to know just one flip that I did (gainer), and I almost got kicked out the second later. Lame swimming pool with the lame gym in it, the next time I swim I make sure I go to somewhere where diving is allowed, like Jurong or something.

Don't know why I'm feeling kinda stressed and tired nowadays, probably because I'm thinking too much about things that don't need too much attention.

All I know now is that I should put more work on things that I want to improve (which includes studies) so I should stop being lazy and waste my stupid time on the computer too much. Hais.

Slight deterioration?

2009-05-22T23:40:00.005+08:00

This week I did abit more training, which means more thoughts.

Monday was my last day of exams, unofficially. So after that 3 papers, met Zahid in boxfit so he could help me film stuffs. After that, about night time, I went to film some timelapse, all night cars timelapse. Only like one or two turned out good though.
But theres one guy who randomly spoke to me upon seeing me with my (awesome) camcorder. He was finding young videographer and photographer to help him out with some community project and stuffs. I was not really interested but just got him entertained. I'm just so lazy to go for all these shit, unless there is money involved. I admit, I tend to be a little tight fisted, and stingy, but I really need the money for my travel funds and I must start to save up if I don't want to get a job. I think I'll start to pay back Ashton some cash and get my track pants and probably a Kalenji. That will then mean 0 travel funds again..

Money is abit too big an issue to handle. I would probably need to work after my O's, which I would definitely hate to do, unless there is a really good high paying job that I could find... and then I can satisfy my travel funds. So many destinations to go to. I hope I can get about 3k -5k. And another thing that I wanna get now is a bicycle. And an Ipod too... See first.

Tuesday was training day, but was quite impactful and I was really tired that day so I ended up doing nothing much. I just trained sideflips abit and went for the wallsideflip and failed miserably. I feel that the variations of the moves are so much harder, like almost a different flip altogether. Simple thing such as landing one leg and a time or going into another flip straight after seems so difficult. Even roundoff back I have problems with, probably the roundoff. My height in my fronts are still inconsistent. Sideflip is good, but it can be better. I want to get new flips soon, I need to widen my repertoire.

And I totally lost my double kong.

Wednesday was the real last day of the exams, went to school same timing just to take a 30minute paper. Went straight to gym after that, where Zahid came again, and distracted me again... and he went to my house and I uploaded the video. Which I finished the day before, but got problems with internet. My computer currently have no space for more video so I need to really clean things up. Good thing June holidays are around the corner, although its fully packed still.

Now the video... I would be fast to say I did not put in my all to it. It's just a simple compilation of normally filmed clips and it did not turned out super great. Especially with the voiceovers which I had overlooked the difficulty. So it was a total fail on my part, failed attempt on a 'documentary' in which the idea did not fit too well either. Like mixing Sydney Parkour in my own thing. So it was also a wrong move. Indeed I rushed it alittle too much because I did not have enough patience. But I think I put in quite some effort and the editing fitted well too, so whatever, haha. I'll try to make better videos, with filming needing the most work now.

After the gym on wednesday with Shaheed, went on to Clarkequay for abit of training and filming. Before that I did some training at my house void decks, glad to see I've nailed the low to high precision jump that I was aiming for, and abit of progression in jumps. But I forced myself too much time and time again at this really far 7.5 footsteps (of mine) SDC2LP. I always thought to myself inside that it is impactful and bad to push limits when it is just obviously too big, but still thought I could give it a small try just to note progress or something. See my poor self control in action.
OK lets stop digressing, Clarkequay now. My SDC haven't been too good in terms of progression and especially in control. I can no longer control the sdc2p and my sdc2cat was barely made it as well. My shoe is also gonna wear out so soon, the freaksion is deteriorating fast. Haven't tried wallpass for a long time, gonna be making it my weakest again. Tsk tsk. Was really tired halfway through, again. My focus now is to get controlled landings and precisions (including SDC2p). The running precision I did in the "this is me" is bullshit now I can't even do it. I guess I can only do it on certain days when I'm hyped. This usually occurs in jams, which I find weird. On those days I feel I have added power but the day after I felt like I lost it all. Weird shit. Flips training was also bullshit, I don't know what is so hard landing it one foot at a time man.. Gonna need to work on it...

Thursday was a good rest day.
Or not.
There's a little bit of progression in terms of socialising and friends now, I felt I'm closer with the friends I am with, and we managed to share the ups and downs of life together. They could understand me which I'm really happy about. But still I have trouble at times about talking to (certain) girls, which I must, just, speak up to now. Time's running out, what, it's June already (soon).
And.
I got back my results that day. Wasn't that great, but was still good. Not satisfied with Chinese (as usual), Amaths and Chemistry. The rest was fine but of course can still improve (like c.humans and english). Maybe my expectation is high, as I think I'm already considered very good among my peers, I just wanna get a one digit L1R4, or the least <11. I wouldn't say I performed very badly, but my Chinese, Olevels coming so soon, and I must pass it at least. Just get it over and done with, WELL.

Friday, which is today, I went to gym I got my 70kgx5repsx6sets which is good, but my pullups were total crap and I stopped after like 4 sets because I knew I'm too tired. Next week would be the final week of the volume phase, with the toughest of workout left to go.
Right after that I went to castle. Did more training. I think it was even more impactful as I did stuffs that I had poor control over. I was wanting to train my mind by doing the "one new thing each day" thing, and I got one of them. Which I think I'm satisfied with, but the another thing that I was quite frustrated over is the precision that I did last week and today I seem to take alot of tries. Which sucks when you know its a high elements and I must aim to get it in the first go. And all this missed drops seemed to build up alot of impact. My precisions lack control and I'm not fully confident with them at heights. It felt like I can no longer estimate the distance up high and I'm not sure how much power I need to use when I know the jump is really simple. I need more repetitions. But I'm getting back my confidence with rail precisions. Goodie.
Did not do runs today as well.

I got a really bad habit about the stuffs I do. Like flips and the seemingly big stuffs, I just take too much time to prepare and focus, and some unnecessary 'hyping up' on top of it all. Just breathe in breathe out, focus, thinking of how you're gonna do it, and then, DO IT. No need for so much preparations. Too much ain't good.

(UPDATE)
Saturday.
I woke up late two saturdays in a row, 1pm. So I was late for DB's jam and I was kinda lazy as well since over there is raining. Anyway, I still went out to train, rather unplanned, but since it didn't rain and I was itching to do something. In the end I went to castle AGAIN to drill stuffs. My pharkhour had improved but flips are still the same, rather bad. I'm happy of the stuffs, mostly leg power, that I could nail, the running cat is consistent now and I can land 2 hands nicely now, without totally alot of effort and the wallpass at the hdb blocks at castle are easee.
I felt my flips never improve, and the feeling sucks to the core. Its like, despite how easy the backflip is, when I learnt it like 1.5 years back, my backflip is still low as hell. I think others can do it much better with least time spent as well. Frontflips and sideflips shows no progress. Might even be 'deproving'. Sucks, but I really need to start practicing them more since they are my aim for this year.
-
So movements, few goals.
More control in movements.
Faster.
More confident - stop taking to long before a move.

Exams finishing soon...

2009-05-16T23:10:00.002+08:00

but I can't really slack after it. There's still prelims, and finally O levels. And it gets even more stressful... I hope I did well for my mid year, but I'm not fully confident. After this year, it is finally time to slack! I'll finally have so much more freedom, not sure about the life in poly, but definitely some time off from studies. So main thing now is, work hard this year, and get this year over and done with, well.
But I wonder if I would need to work for money, so, I really can't say.

This week, I started my (strength training) routine, looks to be a really tough routine soon to come, but I'll have to endure. Of course I must learn from my past mistakes - listen to your body, don't force yourself to do reps just to keep your workout clean or what. You just work towards your goals, if really can't, don't think too much for it. Take things slow. And of course, keep the form good all the time. I'm starting to feel good progression from all the workouts.

Movements wise, I think I'm starting to feel much better in flips. Not getting frustrated, bad landings - so what, all part of learning and training. Its really a sacriface if you wanna flip, i'm just gotta put in my all in each movements and get better landings. But all's good now, sideflips are quite soft, but whatever it is, I need like so much more practice to get all my flips to the next level. I'm gonna start properly practicing my backflips soon. Solid basics!
Actually I didn't really train movements this week, only Friday, where I went to Bishan when its raining. But I still did some productive training, flips. And some small movements. I guess I'm gonna be up for some more training this week, maybe more time alone though, I wanna change things.

I'm abit lethargic nowadays, mentally, because I got no rest, right after 3 papers, once I come home, I don't have much time to rest, I have to go straight to studying again. And I gotta study again later for 3 papers tomorrow again. But after that I get to have a good rest, but not for long.

That's how school have been. I'm trying to get even closer with my friends by going out with them more. Don't forget, its the last year together, and I should seriously start spending some time with them. My social life isn't that fulfilled, I've been misplacing priority. Interaction between friends are still little, I'm still wondering whether anyone take me seriously, or treats me as anything more then a typical friend. And I still can't talk to girls. This sounds emo, but thats how the public sees one pouring out their thoughts. Sometimes people (including me) just couldn't help but to see things how the rest sees.

I'll started editing the video, but I'm not sure whether its good or not, so I'm gonna spend some time brush it up. Gotta need to film one or two more timelapse, then it should be roughly settled, probably done this Friday. I lost my mic foam windscreen, like wtf. I don't know how did it dropped off, it sucks. Not sure whether I'm gonna get a replacement...

I can't help but to say this, but I think alot of the community is still competitive, and showoff. Yeah, we all know its bad and all, but we still do it. Maybe its just human, and its not very wrong too, as competitive helps to push you and showing off raises your self esteem, albeit in a 'wrong' way. And because of this, we all you such excuses to reason yourself thats its okay to do all this. We have in our mind, thinking that we are better then some guy, especially towards newcomers, then when he does something you guys don't believe he could, then you would be tempted to try it, sometimes to a extent where you try to nail it all because he could. Or say/think stuffs like "he can, I should be able to as well lah." Don't wanna say names, so I'm just addressing everyone because I'm somewhat guilty as well. Probably some competitiveness and won't hurt bad, but yeah, you know where I am getting at.

UK standards are really high, everybody is getting so good, nothing compared to Singapore's standards. Gotta need to train harder before we head there!

Time is wasted, so much, hais.

What've I been doing?

2009-05-09T23:08:00.001+08:00

I have mixed thoughts.
Exams approaches, this is the first step, am I gonna prepare yet? Olevels hitting us hard in 5 months, and just 5 months, not too long man. What do I actually want now? The whole point of your secondary life is to prepare for this major O's, after that, you have overcame the one of the huge hurdles of life. No matter what your thoughts is, whether it being rational or not, does not matter at this point, because there is no choice, as there is none for opt to not enter national service, to get this major exams done and WELL. There's no other option but to score now. For that to happen, you gotta study, you gotta work, instead of wasting your time, procrastinating, slacking, doing nothing.

What have you learnt over the past 2 years mistakes in training? Mistakes after mistakes, time and again. Where's your self control, what's the point of yourself regretting over and over again, and then rant those regretful thoughts out here (letting people like Zahid making fun of you in the end)? Forget about bails and injuries, but how you keep pushing yourself doing things too big and somewhat reckless, which results in the former? Do you want to live long, stay healthy? What purpose does it serves to progress fast, impacting yourself in the process, when you got all the time in the world? Have you remembered what happened just a year back when you ended up with some knee problems due to forcing yourself to nail something which is not well within your reach? Control before everything else. Respect your body, please. And this must be your last time saying this.

You got about 5 months+ of school life now. And this will be the last year of secondary school, last year meeting your friends, but are you cherishing it? Or do you just wait and wait for the time to past, and when things are all over, you start regretting again, which is pure pointlessness. Forget about thinking that you sound stupid, or making yourself worse of then before, its obviously worse if you don't talk at all. Moreover, this is the final year. Time flies, fast.

Golden goals? What are goals if you don't even work towards them. I don't see you working towards handstands and such. All the time you say you are studying but are you? Or are you just blankly staring at the papers, giving excuses to yourself to do something else, and in the end, nothing gets done, and you try to fight against time for it. Whats the point of thinking that you will finish up all your work but at the end of the day you are only satisfied with just half your work done, due to the fact you are playing computer aimlessly for hours. Why settle for a small score when you know with discipline, you can go big? Its just the lack of fighting spirit. If only you can push as hard as you do in pushing your limits in training. There's a right place for everything.

Somethings gets done, good. Fred sampler is finally done and dusted, 1 new scary thing each training session, interaction between friends. But its not good enough man, never good enough. Never settle for something small when you know you could do better, in stuffs like this. You got quite a good mindset in lifting and flipping, but why not in pahcore? You shouldn't aim not to be bail, but not to recklessly push limits and impact yourself, because with that, you won't be bailing, provided you give due focus. Time for this is limitless, so take things slow.

I don't want to talk too much.
I don't want to waste too much time.
I don't want to write craps here but in the end, mean nothing to it.

Golden Goals

2009-04-25T20:24:00.004+08:00

Time to write something different.

Goals, something that I have never actually worked towards properly yet. Well I do, but sometimes I don't really have a clear goal, be it mentally or physically, mindset, studies, everything else in life. I don't wanna fix a time limit to any of these goals, but just work towards it. These aren't big big goals, but just things to keep me working for, especially the mental side. Some long term goals to determine success and achievements of my life, and some just to steer myself away from my old bad habits.

Long-term
- Independent Filmmaker. Decided that I would rather do something that I like to do. Money is secondary. I'll do my best.
- Travel around the world. England (Cambridge, London, Liverpool) and France (Lisses) are my first destinations in mind. Next comes Sydney.
- Live happily. Who would ask for more.

Mental (Training approach)
- Change my training to become lesser impact. (No doing stuffs over my limit, getting better landings, etc.)
- Prevent injuries in all cases. (Focus at all times, no doing stuffs over limit, be clear.)

- Repetitions for everything, with full focus and best attempt for each.
- Lesser duration in training, more productiveness.
- More self control, discipline. (WORK TOWARDS THESE GOALS, no excuses, procrastination. Learn from your past mistakes.)

Social (and Morals)
- Learn to respect everyone decision. Everyone opinions differs.
- Be more sociable, stop being afraid to interact. People thoughts does not matter. Its yours.
- Change myself to be a better person in whole. I want to be a person everyone likes. (Not ego.)

Physical (includes Movements, Lifting and Techniques)
- Work towards OAC and 2x Bodyweight Squats.

- Super airtime awareness. Good for flips and focus.
- Softer movements.

- Bailing techniques. Like how PhilyDee drops back into a cat, etc.
*nothing much can be said here as I definitely want to be stronger and faster, controlled, etc. overall, so there shouldnt be much specific goals (or else there'll be too much to list).

Others

- Start practicing handbalancing strictly for at least 15minutes everyday.
- Start studying, finishing homework and stop wasting time. Time spent must be productive. (Limit computer time on weekdays to 3hours or less, and 5 hours on weekends.)
- Make soon-to-be-finished documentary to be well polished piece of art.
- Start saving money, spending less. For future travels.

-----

I have to work towards these goals, no point writing down and not doing so.

this post will be updated.

Aussies and Trainings (update)

2009-04-20T23:11:00.004+08:00

Update!
More training with Aussies.
I'll go through the trainings first.

Tampines Jam on Tuesday 21st.
A good number came up, did filmed some epic stuffs, and as usual, had fun. But similar to what happened 2 days before, bailed when I'm just ten minutes into the session, which is a piece of bullshit. Again, I thought. Why? Muscle memory is good that it makes your body subconsciously know what to do when you make it do. But, it makes you complacent, somehow. Ah this is so easy, just do it without preparation at all. This is good at some point, but this leads to no focus, and eventually, bails. No matter how good you are and for whatever you are doing, regardless of difficulty or state, you have to be focussed. Crazy thing was, Ish bailed almost exactly the same as me, only that my chest suffered most of the impact while Ish scrapped his arms open. Fucking rail.

It pretty much sucks to get that two days in a row, when you barely started training, knowing that you'll be stucked resting and filming, envy how the others move while you can only look. It was just lucky that my knee healed fast and soon I was back moving with the others. It makes you much more scared as you feel that you can't afford to bail again, that kind of thing.

Not sure if I had nailed anything new, considering my condition, but just found out new stuffs to do, like strides. I got a speed2speed at treegarden, and also I have some goals in mind, Kash is getting ridiculously easy. And whats worth mentioning is the progress of the newer guys like Richie and Tutu. Hope to make more jams with them, to further strengthen the bond within traceurs.

Buangkok Jam on Wednesday 22nd.
Was sick, yet again. Ish had a hangover. Regained confidence. Didn't bail - thats a plus. Nailed high element precision - similar to the one in Simei Carpark which I've built up alot of confidence over such kind of gaps. Felt that I could just do it but was just an internal conflict on whether am I pushing myself too much of what. In the end, I went for it, more of a mental challenge over a physical one, as when it comes to high elements, its all about knowing your limits, which should be something that is really clear to you. I'm pretty sure some think that its too big for me, for the main reason that the Aussies took awhile to get that, which created hype, thinking that its only for the 'pro-er' guys. First impressions.

Trained more runs this sessions, was really fun. Precisions was a test now after bailing the rail precision at Bishan. To me I thought, fuck I'm never gonna do that I again, but inside me, I know I can do it, the distance is definitely easy, but its the rail that makes it so hard (although I have done similar precisions many a times), and the height which makes it so scary, and the bail thats makes me unconfident. Hey but, what do you do when you fall? Traceurs get back up. I'll get that rail precision. I'm not gonna bail again. I bet many disapproving thoughts are out there, but I'll get it, matter of time.

Gotten sick clips too from this session. One downside - I lost my sideflip, which was seemingly y best flips of all three. It kinda sucks, I felt that the feeling is totally gone, when the day before I did one OK OK one out of nothing, but then, the next day, its gone. Its totally fucked, I really don't know why. It's like the weirdest thing that has happened. I need to find it back. And I'll need to get back to flips trainings. Impacts again.. and I thought my flips were good and improved. Still needs much work till its relatively light impact. My main goal.

After that final training session with the Aussies, I felt that I've gained training experience overall, from seeing how they train, what they had done, the sickest footage captured from my HV30, and so much fun. Might have 5 bails in 2 trainings sessions, of which, 2 was mine, but we can't always predict such misfortune, all we can do is to learn from it, something that I'm struggling to do. Never learn from my mistakes, poor self-control. They'll be coming back too, much sickness. Welcome anytime.

Today, I went to gym to finish my deloading, was which delayed for like 5 days. Ahhh I really need to get back to strength training. As exams are coming, so I have to adapt back to strength training conditions and go for the routine. I need to start studying, stop wasting time, as usual. I guessed I've said that for my past 10 blog post, including the one in my personal blog, all still just words no action. Hais.

I think I need from the heavy trainings now, sunny weather causes faster fatigue and power drainage, so I'll need to test my self control at home by training handstands, eat properly, not use the computer too much, spend time properly, do homework, take care of my health, train properly and productively, learn from my mistakes, just do 45 minutes of flips drilling or something. Won't be training so much till exams end. And I'm probably gonna work on my documentary.

Like I said.. lotsa things to be said, but it matters nothing unless you put it into real use - action speaks louder then words. Well done is better then well said. Can't be so affected by my thoughts and emotions, I have to be optimistic and learn to overcome challenges mindfully.
------------------------
Its late at night now so I'm gonna chiong this post for a bit.

Yesterday was a day that was somewhat ambivalent - both good and bad. The vibe was there, it was awesome seeing, filming and being with the Aussies and all the others. Lots of footages captured, although I felt some could be in a better angle but better then nothing.

But the bad thing was, triple bails.
Let me talk about mine first.
I thought of this rail precision that is really thin, and far, and scary, but challenging, yet possible for my standards, so I gave it a try, knowing that I could make the distance, the only hard part is to be able to land properly. Hardly knowing the consequences if I would to miss, my mind just focussed on the jumping part, thinking its all mental. Focus was there but was not enough. Exhaled and up I go in the air, and in a split second saw me fumbling, hesitated and freakout at the last millisecond where it is all crucial. I suddenly felt it would be better out falling back into a cat, but my leg slipped faster then I could react to it, landing with a huge crush on the sides of my abdominals and shins knock onto the rails. Was out of breath and in pain for awhile, but its all good now.

I thought, yet again, another bail, due to carelessness and poor focus. Damn, the aussies haven't arrived and I already bailed. That was fucked, I can't do anything for today anymore, and its only 10minutes in, for what I consider the main event of the year. Felt total crap but no matter how much I wanted to 'turn back time, I know its impossible. But was I lucky enough to not suffer any harder, more severe injuries? What was truly the cause of my bail. Is it because I'm reckless and doing the stuffs that is out of my limits? There was more to come.

Fred bail, what I thought was again due to recklessness. Luckily the bail wasn't too much a biggie. I think that day, indeed, was due to too much pushing. The German traceur was right. We have potential as a group but we aren't use it properly. We are all pushing ourselves, too harsh. There shouldn't be any rush to get it. Maybe to Anan, where he wouldn't be back to Singapore to nail that again, so he would like to push himselves abit, but we all should know our limits to a certain point. Not only limits, but understand the conseqeunces of a move, and give it due focus.

Anan bail was the worst. Tictac to Pre to Slip to Shin gash. To the bone. Kinda sucks to see it, especially from such a legend. What timing as well, in Singpaore, on the 'main event of the year'. The surgical fees were a bomb - 7.9k. I was like wtf, totally not worth it to bail and cost 8000 bucks. See how much a careless mistake could cost one. No matter how small the mistake is.

Abit ironical to me, the way I type words in my blog in all my previous posts (Conclusions upon Reflections), it all seems that I know alot, alot about training and me wanting to train towards the 'proper' direction. But it is still happening - bails, impacts, still reckless, pushing too much, etc. In the end, even though I have the knowledge, but not applying it into real life, does not serve any purpose. Knowledge applied is better then knowledge gained.
It all goes back to the source of main problems - Poor self-control. What is it that I want from all this? What does all this experiences taught me so far? Am I still gonna back down to my reckless self no matter how many signs telling me that I'm just going to fast? It is abit hard for me to change, but trust me, I want to.

Like I said many a times, every traceurs have different methologies, ideologies, approach towards Parkour and training. Lets admit it, we all prefer to be able to do the bigger stuffs, the faster stuffs, the sicker stuffs. Its all shown in the videos, bigger and bigger stuffs that we are all aiming for. But is that truly Parkour? I think I should not assume too much. We just need ample practice and good proper solid foundations before we proceed into a bigger move. There's no rush at the end of the day. No rush. Never set any time limit to your goals. Go, with the flow.

Sometimes we think too much of the fun aspect of Parkour and neglect about the possibility of bailing. We need to give focus in every move we do no matter how easy it is. Sometimes we place to much emphasis on big stuffs but don't see more to it. Whats the point of doing the big stuffs but not being able to apply it in runs and stuffs. Thats my aim, instead of focusing on big stuffs and single movements all the time, apply it to runs. But I will take my time. Safety is the main concern, long term health is the long term concern. Let's not waste anymore time. And of course, the landing in every move. Just drill on the stuffs lower then my maximum alot, get it controlled, get it strong, get it into my system, and of course built my overall focus level, air sense and confidence. PhilyDee does alot of big stuffs but with balanced fear control, control in landings (silent landings), concentration, not too big of pushing, with amazing ability to include in runs, yet super strong and fast, near flawless.

There's still another jam tomorrow which would be the final jam with the Aussies, but I seriously hope that I could just learn more from them, not just technique but the general outlook of Parkour. My life have been revolving much about this, and I do what to learn more about it, and applying it. For my whole life.

And of course I'm hoping to get nice clips. So I hope nothing goes bad tomorrow (rain, bails, more cocks). So far I have very little motivation to sort out clips in my computer, the music and all the other files. Very bored of doing such. Always playing the computer and wasting my time, still having this stupid habit. Not doing homeworks. Exams in two weeks, what now.

Have been busy jamming, two days for the filming for vasantham, and hanging out with the guys. Never get to go to gym recently. Long days, long hours, hardly any rest. So tired, but schoolwork gets in the way. Exams, around the corner, abit stress. The membership that I paid for isn't fully utilised. I need to get back into gym this Wednesday, probably starting my new routine when my exams starts, where I will be stopping movements, or only doing very light trainings. Its a 6 week routine. Things should be going fine. My injuries should be recovering by tomorrow, I wanna take it slow though. Hopefully, nothing cocks up.

Lets see what I have in store for tomorrow.

A bit of a change.

2009-04-11T22:50:00.003+08:00

A slight turn, all with just a WEEK more till Sydney Parkour raids Bishan!

I believe I've been much happier, thinking lesser about how sucky my training and movements is, just more carefree.. even in school, just think I'm better with my friends now.

First things first. I got a wideangle (fisheye) lens and an external mic for my HV30. Now levelled up, videos will be much nicer. Just a problem with zoom and focus, too bad Singapore don't have Raynox products. Tested it out today, amazing display, ordinary clouds are much more nicer, movements are made more interesting, just a different personality all round. The external mic make less wind noises and idiotic environmental noise (like the screeching cicadas at castle). Landings and speeches are much more crisp. Total for about 300 bucks, thanks Ashton for the 120 you top up for me, once my mother returns my money, I swear I return. Oh well, now have to start saving up again for the most important future travels.

So I think thats a good start for my documentary project of the year. And I can already imagine the product I can get when the Aussies arrive. What a video it would be. Including some May Jam sickness, I'm prepared for a huge day of serious epic proportions. All this hype, I hope it will be as good as it all seems, as I don't want it to be yet another spoilt day like what we have seen with Phiqtionalism. Hope all things goes well. All those who haven't had the news, 1pm Bishan, Sunday, 19th April, make sure you come. Just a week man, just a week..
Also..
20th - Buangkok and Sengkang
21st - Tampines!
And maybe 17th (Friday) - Clarkequay? If they have time.

Ok weight training, I've bought membership now so I can go there for free anytime I want, when I want. Which is cool, now I'm out of the 4.30pm shell. This saves me alot of money as well, another plus. And now, my training have been slack, because its deloading, I'm just experimenting with new exercises and practice more form and trying out more new rep cycles. Will be planning on the squats and pullups routine.. in 4 weeks. I hope I don't get extra muscle mass, I'm at 52kg now I hope get back to 50kg. I'm cutting down on rice by alot.

I'm feeling the effects of all the squats now in my movements training, I can jump higher and further now. Today I nailed alot of tictac precisions and cats, I'm getting more confident in my 180s and I'm so gonna beast that cat2pre at Bishan. Very soon. Running precision at CQ ftw. Cranes are getting better too. Thursday I went to Dino and Shino - Nailed some runs into flips which is cool, rail precisions are getting controlled, and then it rained so I went to Shino, trained as per normal. Rain doesn't affect the conditions are Shino, of course you need to be alittle careful, getting more height in each jump. Nailed all the normal stuffs I do in Shinos when its dry, so its all good. It's been raining the whole week and that really sucks.. hope the rainy seasons ends soon.

Moonkick!! I'm almost there, just alittle bit more tries, I'll get it down in my system. I'm getting better sides, really good ones, I'm confident to do them on concrete now and they aren't so painful to the knees, and also its back to where it started, one legged sides are easy as nothing now, provided I got some good leverage of the jumping leg. Frontflips are still the same but its getting more consistent, but theres times will I ramp my heel into the group but untucking too hard or early, and that sucks. I'm gonna go back to backflips soon.

Gonna really good clips today, thanks to my fish eye lens really, but I hope the len's bads doesn't outnumber the goods. I'll gonna make a small compilation of unwanted clips just to show it off. Time to film more timelapse especially cars and more random ideas. Now, voiceovers are the main issue with the documentary, wonder who could make a good voice. Or maybe, try out some audio editing stuffs. Haha.

Just a few bad things stuffs that I (yet again) have to remind myself.
Do not let adrenaline rushes be the better of you. Clarke Quay is an amazing place, I've nailed stuffs here and there but it gets more challenging each time you go there - you unlock even more possibilities and makes the spot much more open. You can train so many things here. But its the atmosphere around with so many people looking that serves as an adrenaline booster, which is a reason why many people feels the mood to train over there. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but once you lose control of yourself, things like impacting yourself will occur. The SDC2LP is what made me felt abit pressured and kept forcing myself to nail it. Many impactful attempts. Running cranes alittle impactful, just a few.

Also I'm still not in the mood for study despite exams getting round the corner. I need to balance the time between work, training and play. This is really bad, I'm not putting any effort to study and thus the poor results in my tests and foreseeable in my exams. This sucks. I'm really spending too much time on the computer even when I know its wrong, and its time to study. I'm just to lazy, no mood to study. What's more, my habit is hard to get rid of. Using the computer for long pointless amount of time, and see how each day goes by so fast. In the end I make nothing much out of it. I don't know what I'm doing, damn. Just seeing what I've done the past few days (months actually), nothing productive and all a stupid waste of time. Prioritise man, studies are of utmost importance at this stage of my life. I don't want to regret in the future, coming back crying to my parents upon recieving my O level results slips. Seriously, stop wasting my time, procrastinating.

Ahhh I'm so bored. I think I'm resting tomorrow. I make sure I finish my homework.

And now..

2009-04-05T22:37:00.002+08:00

Good news guys.
Sydney Parkour to visit us in ten days time, they will be reaching at 15th, on with their rehearsal for their performance, actual performances on 16th17th18th, then we got 19th, 20th 21st and 22nd for training! Awesome shit, Shaun Wood Anan Anwar Ish and Wiseno. Can't wait.
Bishan and buangkok+sk and probably tampines are the venues.
And one at Clarkequay? Maybe. Their performances are held there.

I'm trying to make my documentary more wide, more out of the ordinary, a video that have a special feel. With awesome movements, the vibe between traceurs, videography (timelapses), humour, randomness, and speeches. Don't want to make it sound like damn good then in the end I can't perform up to EXPECTATIONS. Haha.

Well this Friday I successfully squatted 83kg, with ok reps, good range, I'm quite happy with that, benchpressed 60kg!! 3 reps. Gotten my aims, only got 2 forced reps with 30kg pullups, but I can do with 28kgx3, good enough. Things will go according. I'm at 52kg right now, must cut down on calories. And planned my deloading, things should go fine.
Saturday was training at Yishun, my dashprecisions are still there, nailed Chongpang wall once, so not really counted, nailed the running catleap quite well, did some runs, nailed 2storey precisions, cracked my camera uvfilter lens, slipped off ledge 2nd storeys and almost fell (lucky). Trainings kinda still impactful abit, but not so bad, need to lay off the huge running precisioning stuffs.. cut down the trianing time as well. I want to strengthen my knees.

-update more-

April onwards.

2009-04-01T22:59:00.003+08:00

I seriously can't believe its april already.

Buangkok training today. Quite awesome. Started well, ended not too well. For a change, I'm gonna do it in point form. Easier to read, easier to write, easier to understand.

Things that went well!
- Drilling.
- Nailed an SDC2CAT easily, 8.5 of my footsteps.
- SDC2P so easy right now.
- Getting more controlled rail precisions.
- Gotten back my lache gainer, worked on fear.
- One legged fronts (webster).
- No bails, no losing of focus.

Things that need work.
- Bloody backflip.
- Forget about doing things that you can't control, do not force yourself, even if you used to be able to do it easily.
- Today's training was a little less then 2hrs, too long.
- Flips on flat.
- Never really did train runs.

Still went back with sore knees. Mainly due to flips, argh. And the running jump over the rail precision thing. And tried the far precision (the one at the green playground), quite impactful. Pulling was abit tiring for me today, thus my shelter muscleup was crap.

Things that I want to do in next session.
- Keep sessions shorter.
- Train more runs.
- Lesser impact -> Aim for perfect landings, do not keep pushing physical limits, keep things within my capabilities.
- Push my mental limits, try something new (that I'm scared of, don't know how, out of my comfort zone) every time I train.
- Leave good imprints in my muscle memory (flips especially).

I have decided on a few things.
I'm gonna stop backflipping for a period of time, I want to take a break from it, it is getting bad to worse. I wanna erase the bad imprints, and try to start anew. Also, its really impactful.

Deload after Friday's final session. 9 weeks in a flash, amazing. Work on front squats, then take on Soviet Union's traditional routine for squats and pullups. Take a break from the heavy loading squats and stuffs.
Cut down on unnecessary calories. I'm at 51.4kg now and I want to bring it back down to <50. Keep the muscle mass that I've gained and cut down the bodyfats. I am indeed eating alot now, not just protein but chicken skin and chocolates, so I'll cut down as I start deloading.

I'm gonna spend more time training alone, or just training in small group with people that I can focus with. I need to rework on my training approach and mindset, seriously, testing my self control, and keeping things down low. I'm still not sure whether I'm gonna get to 35-40yo without knee problems, but as much as it is just for the benefit of myself, I'll need to slow down a little. This year will be strength training year, I'm gonna get the 2x bodyweight squat, I'm confident I can. I need to start working on OACs.

Given the thought of flips is so impactful, maybe I should just stop it all, as my joints are more important. Might be a good choice, since you are doing your body good afterall. But I've already came this far, and It's getting better. So if I stop now, its over. I shouldn't give up, but I give myself time to get my landing all right. I need to work up slowly.

I thought fear is just an emotion. Once we learn how to control our fears, nothing can stop us.

I see myself improving step by step, refining my style, the way I move. I'm gonna stop making videos for awhile, focus on training and studies, in time to come when my progression is good, then there will be the time for videos. I'll be compiling clips of others though, and finishing up Fred's sampler, and filming the visits from the Aussies. Then I'll make an epic compilation. And my documentary is due soon to be worked. Gotten abit of new ideas, gonna put it to use for FRED's sampler, but please don't expect too much. I want to get some more timelapse, got more ideas.

I think traceurs think to highly about themselves. Not just to our friends but to posers and people staring at us and all. We are just practitioners of a certain discipline, it doesn't mean that we're better and gives us the rights to criticise the public so much. Because I know many that contradicts the ideas so much. Narrow minded society, but aren't traceurs narrow minded too. Lets treat people properly, without bias.

Gonna need to keep practicing on my handstands. Lately theres no progress. It's getting very frustrating, I hope when the aussies come, they can give me proper tips. I can't wait.

Lately I have alot of thoughts, people confirm sian.

I need to give myself better sleep and rest, its good for me.
Bye.

Honest Expressions

2009-03-31T20:05:00.002+08:00

Whats honest? Some friends say I'm quite direct, frank, straightforward. No matter how blunt it is, I'll like to say things to people face. Like you know, many people don't like such people. Think about Simon Cowell, how many jeers he receives from the crowd. He, unlike the most other judges, does not care about how the person might feel, and instead tell his honest, true opinions to the world. Wrong? Then would you rather a person live in his or her delusions thinking about how 'perfect' she is. The harsh reality is what people do not want to face, but who can you lie to?

As this blog is my personal life blog, I'll post whatever shit I want, whether or not people understands, bothers to read, or whatever. I don't really care about typos, I use this as a way to rant my daily doldrums away, and couldn't care less about what others will say. Recently I have many thoughts running up my mind, through training, speeches and words from friends, reading up, and even from my dreams. I'm gonna type it all down here.

First thing, like recently spoken, philosophy differs from person to person. Same applies for opinions. Sometimes we are can't come to an agreement, there will be conflicting thoughts here and there, we can't satisfy everyone all the time. I too feel that there's alot of things that my friends and people say or do, is 'wrong'. But, opinions holds truth to oneself. So who am I to say they are wrong? Opinions are opinions, do not confuse they will proven facts and definitions.
That's why, sometimes people might think about things this way, and stay happy with it, while you think how stupid is he to think about it that way. You can try to ask them to think otherwise, like through questioning and persuasion, but at the end of it all, their opinion holds.

So, I hope you guys can respect and accept my opinions no matter how much you disagree to it.

I was asked "Do you think about the consequences you have to bear for a movement you do?"
Doing this 'sport', I think we all know the dangerous nature of it and what risks are at stake. Realistically speaking, for every move we do, should we miscalculate or lose our focus, it will go terribly wrong. So, do you mean if we can never bear the consequence of something, we should never do it at all? But hey, Peekay is about? Overcoming obstacles. I'm pretty that doesn't only mean physical obstacles, but mental ones as well. I think it is all about a weak mind if you were to not train flips because you know you can never take the bail of a flip.

Sometimes I think about the past of what we do to a person, to bring him to where he stands right now. Hmmm, the most closest analogy would be like a parent who bought his child in the world. Now think, what if the child, when grown up, suddenly feel that he is so big and could disrespect his parents and all. It just sucks if you were to symphatize, to know that a child you bring up have now turn his back at you. Sometimes I feel that bad, if I were to shout at my parents. After all, whoever who brought you in, think about what he/she have done, before action takes place.

Bad points. I've recently asked a few people to name out certain negative traits of my character. I think thats the only way a person can try to change, at least he knows an certain area that he can improve on. Believe me, everyone I know got bad points. If one don't say out, its only because he doesn't want to 'hurt your feelings' or just felt accustomed to your bad habits. We as humans should have the ability to tolerate to some extent of your friends bad points.

Not long ago, probably like 2 weeks ago, I dreamt about something. Its about PK (thats why I'm mentioning) and we are having a jam similar to the one buangkok unhorror, and we are at a cool carpark rooftop. Some of the guys were drilling a running precision with a huge huge drop at the other side (5 storeys like the typical sg carparks). Ashton, Fred, Stephen and Zahid nailed it, while I was recording with my camera. Looks like a very familiar scene. While I was slacking and I saw Zahid do that very running precision with so much force and he went out of control and overshotted, then fallllllllllll all the way down off, as I was too afraid to look I 'took cover' and heard the loud splat sound. And what I can recall is that Ashton took a look out and was like "someone call the fucking ambulance" and then I woke up. At least thats what I can think. The dream was quite strong, much stronger then the other normal dreams.

And then recently were buildering at Simei, I gripped well to the edge and was hanging on but after a sudden slip I feel all the way down. Not too high though, luckily, but the first thing I felt was something familiar, and soon I recalled the dream. The feeling is like falling to what seems at first a bottomless pit, like you can't see your landing at all (was too sudden and I can't see my landing), and I was like 'wtf did I just slipped from like half a storey". To me it is really a big impact, because it was nothing compared to my poser times where drops were much higher, uncontrolled and stupid. And I think to people, that drop is something they did regularly. But the fact that I slipped really carelessly make me relate to the dream. And think about the Bishan 2nd storey catleap, what will happen if I lose focus and fall off. Just felt really scary.

It is those small slip-ups that reminds you or how costly your mistake could be.

But fear is still something we have to work with. If fear plays such an restrictive factor of what you can do, then whats the point if you are working to be free of restriction. To me I vehemently disagree about things that "don't do such things if it isn't worth the risk".

More thoughts coming right up.
Flips could be impactful. Hell yeah they are. But really, is that very reason enough to stop you to train them? How weak can your will be. I think it is all about compromises. To be able to flip, you'll need to start flipping, and you can never expect yourself to be landing with good form at even the first year. I'm prepared to take whatever harms this might do to me in another 20/30 years down the road. Before you say that I go against the brainwashed 'philosophy' of 'to be and to last', let me tell you who doesn't want to last long? Trust me guys at the rate you are going, even if you think you are 'too slow', you will wear out at latest 40. Its all logic. Parkour is much more impactful then most other sports, the only exception is that we can progress at our own pace and theres no competition for us to force ourselves. But still I can see we are all doing alot of harm to our knees and ankle. I'm not saying its impossible, but that would need alot of self control, limiting yourself, and going very slowly, something that I admit that I wouldn't want to do due to my lack of self control. Ask yourself, some guys already got knee problems and the like. I'm one of them. If you tell me, it is really about compromises. But its not that I want to impact myself, flips are one of the reason why I think they are inevitable. I'm not a weak bitch who will not flip due to its impactful nature.

Time past really flies. As I speak, 40 minutes just went by while I write all this. No wonder it is so long. I'm used to it. But whether you guys want to read it or not, its up to you. I don't really care. But we should all use time productively. Exams coming, tests are coming, 5 weeks time till paper 1 of Eng and Chinese for Mid year. Time is running out. I should dedicate more time to study and really organise my time well so that I won't spend too much time doing stupid things like blogging on the computer right now. And also, balance out studying and training.

Went to gym today. Honestly wasn't too contented. First set of 80kgx3 squats was good, second set was still acceptable but the last was too forced. Benchpress, I missed a rep for the 60kg set, which comes as a suprise because I've been handling the benchpress weights really well throughout. Pullups faced a setback, knowing that the 25kg set was already too heavy, I knew 30kg will be too much for me to handle, so I'll cut it down to 28kg, which I forced the third rep up. Will be planning my deloading afterwards.

Is gymtraining too much for the joints and tendons as well? I wonder. Combined with the stressful nature of flips and Parkour, wouldn't it be an recipe for killing joints? Yes I've been pushing myself alot, too much, rushing, but for don't know what. I will like to keep the weights low after this routine, and the next routine that I'll be undertaking, would be adjusted to something safe. Somehow, something that can inspire for some time and make me time I'm gonna change for the good, but after a few days or weeks, the inspiration wears out. Which is something really irritating for me. I know I want to change but my self control, since the past, was really bad. I don't know, but I should seriously keep in mind the aims that I want in my training. Although I'm prepared to face the repercussions of my trainings now in my mid 30s, I would still want to stop all the impactful stuffs that I've been doing. My self control, is seriously weak.

Remember guys, all these are my opinions.

Tomorrow I'll be going to Buangkok and make sure I work on my training goals.

March 23rd - 29th

2009-03-24T21:14:00.009+08:00

I feel that this is one of the best way to pen down my thoughts. I just need to write it down somewhere. You guys dont have to read it. I'll update the days event when I can.

March 29th
Went to Bishan today. Did some normal boring movements, didn't get to do much because of the rain, slippery lubricated railings, the rain, and the rain. Didn't get to do runs that I thought I would, because after like 30minutes, it rained. Sucks. It happens so many times already when I come all the way from Tamp to here. At least 7 times that I can clearly remember, but I think theres more. So of course its not too impactful, which is ok. Didn't get to train flips, nooo. Will be flipping after school for awhile, then I'll go home to rest.

March 28th
First went to the gym, did well. Squatted 81kg for 3 reps with good depth and form. I now truly considered myself being able to squat 80kg. BenchPress is still hanging on, but to do 60kg will be abit hard but I'm gonna try nonetheless, this tuesday. Pullups with 26kg, did it for 3x3, I'm happy with that. Maxing both bench and pulls out this tuesday, monday would be a long and boring day in school so I'll just take that day off to rest.

Next went to Nart School and check out the book and slack then went for training. There's a few stuffs that happened. Nailed speed2p properly. Nailed a buildering thing. Gotten stronger in buildering. Slipped off an edge and fall all the way down, really impact (third time in 2 weeks that I fell off something due to lack of focus). Training is still kinda impactful, although I didn't really train alot, probably due to length of training, again. I still don't really have the ability to control myself, as you can see, no matter how much I want to keep my trianing low, I feel the urge to this and that, argh. I don't know how long will my knees survive.

Flips are bloody impactful..... hais.

March 27th
Did a little flips training after school again. No progression, maybe regression. I don't know whether I'm training properly. Because the more failed attempts and bad flips I do, it will be imprinted in my system no matter what. So its like if i continue to flip suckily, it'll stay like that. Its not about training alot but training smart, like for everything else. I need to really aim for good practice, so that I'll get the good imprints, and stop when the forms seriously cocks up. Bad flips with bad landings with feel so impactful even on playground mats. Even well landed once are loud, way louder then most precisions and drops. Damn, my knees are gonna get rusty..

But.. no rush, no forcing myself, only do flips when I'm focussed - for the good imprints. Also I'm taking a long time to get focus too, because of thinking of too many distracting things. No good. Let me not think of such stuffs and focus for tmr 80kg good 3 reps. hahaha.

April like soon. Maybe I should start learning other flips, because I can't always be sticking to these few. Still don't think I'm in a position to move to backflip variation. But soon. Need to continue practicing, the time will come, take it slowly. Maybe I'll try the moonkick soon.
Shaun Wood, Anan Anwar and Ish is coming to Singapore at 19th april. I can't wait for the demolition of those spots. Lets hope for the best and everything goes well.

March 26th
Was a good day today as I achieved my target of 85kg x 3rep kinda easily, I feel that I can still go heavier, but yeah I'll just stop there for safety reasons and also I already got what I was aiming for anyway. But as a problem that I know I am facing already, I'm doing straight legged deadlifts rather then the conventional deadlifts. So I'm putting more stress to my back. I don't know why I can't get the conventional one, and that will be something I'll working on in the 4/5 weeks routine break. Standing press also seem to be a really hard lift, and it puts stress on your back as well at the top. But I got the 40kgx3rx3s I was aiming for all was good.
So yeah, not a bad day.

March 25th
Did not trained today, except for a few flips after school, which wasn't too good, and my flips really slackened alot, which means I need alot more practice. After that I went home and slept for 3 hours (FTW!). I was quite sore and I know I won't be able to perform very good for deadlift maxout day. So I listened to my body, made some adjustment to the routine, and I felt that this is the best approach, so there is no losses but gains in the end. I decided to ditch the final wednesday workout next week and bring it forward to this week, so this will be the last deadlifting session in the routine, so I'll max out. Friday I'll be resting for the next day Sat. Then I'll go for the BenchPress and Pullups day on Tuesday (Monday I got extra lessons till late and I will dread going to the gym because of the time left), and the final routine day (squats maxout) is on Friday. So now I need to rest more and prepare for the three upcoming maxouts.

Actually I've stuffs in my mind that I haven't typed, thoughts collected from yesterday + today.
Hmmm, training at school. Honestly, I sometimes feel that I'm showing off subconsciously, but carefully, and have the urge to showoff but do well to keep it down, but when approach myself and think if I really showoff or not, maybe not to friends in school, but during jams? I sometimes can't be clear to myself, I'm not lying to myself, or am I? I also have the feeling, or at least used to have, but I could be a little more respected because of training all these. But what makes me think that I have that privilege. I chose to train this, so what if I can do this, do that, if one choose to respect me due to the dedication and how I live my life productively, then I am happy, but it isn't a must, must it? Forget it.

Philosophy. Philosophically speaking about the topic on philosophy.
What defines philosophy?
Dictionary meaning - Ideas/Beliefs/Values relating to a particular field.

I believe it is different for everyone. I doubt philosophy is a set rule that everyone must try to aim working towards it. The motto (Definition - A brief statement used to express a principle, goal, or ideal) of Parkour is "to be and to last", yeah. But motto is something that we aim for (goal) in our training. Philosophy is a different thing. It is what we believe and what values we put in in our discipline. I think everyone trains because of the universal love of movements, that can't be argued - we love to move, or not why are we doing it in the first place? And I know many people will mock or laugh at other's people reason to practice parkour. But think, it is their reason, what makes us have the right to think that it is 'wrong', or 'unacceptable'? Do you like it if we deem your inspiration to train wrong? What position are you to say that it is wrong? One will know if their true reasons are fucked up or not after training for a long time. It differs from person to person and your reasons will developed and changed as time pass. The person should pretty well understand their reasons themselves. And I believe everyone should come up with THEIR OWN reasons and not after something they read and go "yeah yeah, thats true." Thats merely copying.

Nowadays I find that there might be a 'fight' in our usual 'clique'. I definitely do not want this to happen, as we are all supposed to be united as one. I know I should keep my thoughts to myself, because if I were to blurt things out, misunderstandings will inevitably occur, and things will go terribly out of hand. I don't want a internal conflict. Sometimes I think people are so full of themselves at times, that it is just so hard for them to see their problem no matter how much we already explain to them. Ego is a bitch. But then I could be contradicting myself. No one can always be right, can they? Different opinions for different reasons.

There's a problem with me. Sometimes once I get into a conflict, even a super small one, I just can interact with the person anymore. It is like total love loss between. There's already a few classmates that I used to like to talk to, and were kinda close to, but because of some accidental spillage of anger, the bond totally breaks apart, and it is so hard to mend. And theres still my poor conversational skills and fear to talking to some people (esp. some girls), and it just sucks (check my "sucks to be so shy and all" post in deeenester.blogspot.com)

And lastly, I still have to buck up on my video editing alot, true that I actually don't put much effort in my filming (which is the source of editing). I want to learn after effects, for real and for reel. Practice my filming angles and storylining things. But guys believe me, things are not as easy as it looks to develop what seems like a normal, simple edited video. Color correction, rendering and speed of editing comes into play. Oh wait, nevermind, it doesn't matter, I don't want to act like I know alot. Yes I should spend the time I waste on this, and ofcourse more time on studying, already.

I know this is getting long and no one is reading.

March 24th
PE today, we ran 2.4km. Super impactful, but theres no choice so I decided to do it just once (was abit tired from ytd training session). Still got 10.49 and it is not even an A. Didn't know it was so bloody hard, but who cares.
Then around 5pm I walked to Shino to train alone. tried the wall, in total 9 attempts = 0 nailed. Not good man, not good. Dont know why, should have stopped after 5 attempts when it shows I'm not prepared. Went to Shino and trained abit, drilled abit. A few stuffs good is that I nailed a Speed to precision (could only land on the rail but not the wall yet), and nailed SDC2LP with a short runup (before the HDB). Other then that, I feel that theres abit of problem with my (standing) box jumps and I need to work on it, almost bailed in one careless attempt. Was some good repetitions, but when my form starting to deteriorate, I continued on, ruining the good imprints I had in my muscle memory earlier on.
Went to castle laterwards (lol new word) and drilled the running cat. Not too bad, but it will cause my shoes to die soon. Flips was quite bad, backflip after like 5 attempts gone haywired, sideflips kept overrotating, and in one attempt I bailed, hesitated like how I did in my March Thing video, but I was higher in the air. I think my focus is something that I need alot of work on. Even with people around or not, focus still quite bad. And this was too long a training session.

Things that need work on
- Focus man, focus, never just whack.
- Keep training session less then 1hr30minutes please.
- Stop training once form sucked.
- Do movements not too far away from the level I'm in.

And I think its really time for me to start studying instead of wasting my time away now.

March 23rd
Strength training day. Got a good rest the day before so I felt quite fresh. Indeed, performed quite well, one of the best throughout this routine. 78kgx3x3 squats well squat, good form, not too shoddy. Benchpress still easy, 56x3reps, pullups 26.5kgx3reps still felt that I could go heavier. Will be peaking next week. Rest well, eat more. Gotta start planning for the deloading and trainings to come.

March 16th - 21st

2009-03-17T00:05:00.009+08:00

Just felt I need to give reflections on my trainings in my quest for change. Will be updated throughout the week.

Overall
I see a recurring trend in most of my training days. Too much impact. I need to seriously start doing lesser impactful movements and keep training short. And don't do move even at 95% of my max, it is not safe, keep it below 90%. This goes for wallpasses as well, I need to aim to nail every attempt of any movement, and with control too. Aim for perfection, need good focus. Strength trianing will be getting harder for this two weeks and I want to give my body more rest to prepare for the big week. I will plan on my deloading too. I think I will give myself more training alone and so I can really reflect on what I'm doing. So far I still never really work towards my goals in training stated in the previous post. Except I think I've gave good effort in drilling. Next week after school I should be doing flips practice on tuesday wednesday and thursday, flips needs alot of practice! And I need to make good use of the time I have now.

I guess this blog is really nothing to others, I might as well just not make it private and only I can read it because nobody read long posts. And because of that they quite ironically don't know me well, even some typical human beings understands better then 'traceurs'. I guess some traceurs think sooooooo highly of themselves. Delusional people.

March 21st
Went to Bishan today. Nothing much there because it is raining. Wanted to try the dyno at the first spot. Only nailed two hands once, then second try was total failure, missed and fall all the way down, super impact, lack of focus. I need to learn how to save myself from failed dynos. Since raining, but still wanted to train, went to the indoor playground. BUT IT IS WET, so just made do with barefoot buildering stuffs. Just transversing between walls. Good training. Want to climb more. Not very impactful today, but trained for kinda too long, need to limit the time during my Saturday jams.

March 20th
Strength training at 1.45pm today, early. Everything went fine. Squatting 78kg with OK form, need to keep this up on Monday. Bench press still hanging on, Pullups getting harder. Need to rest well for week 8 and 9 now, so lesser movements training. Eat more too. Weight is around 50kg, yet to peak.

March 19th
Went to Dino, Shino and Castle with WenKai. Flips and other stuffs. Drilled SDC2P at shino - good. Flips were ok. Arabian gone completely haywired, unlike the one I could nail before (at acm), need work. Some bails in sides. Keep practicing. Drilling stuffs more now. Low to high precision at Shino was too big yet I forced myself to put two legs up, and fell back down. Suck. Should've fall back down to a cat, which is another technique to work on. Need to keep training less impact. Was too long a training. Wallpass still failing too much = training near my limit. I want more of landing every single move I'm doing. Still forcing myself to do stuffs. Work on my mindset.

March 18th
Strength training first in the day, went fine. Forgotten about using mixed grip in deads, militarypresses are gay hard now. But still good. Went to train abit of movements. Drilled my roof gap at carpark, getting easy now, attempted my sdc2lp (7.5 of my footsteps) and I was hell close in my best attempt, I suppose I could crane it but I was just testing for fun. Wallpass is good but I must make sure I focus for each. Stop training when you're tired. Flips-wise, not too good but still, sideflips are OK, backflips still need work, frontflips lost my height. Need alot more practice... Can't waste my time on the computer, need to start doing hwk.. fuck.

March 17th
Flips went really weird today, alot of hesitations, alot of bails and just lost touch with them. Needs alot more practice. Don't be too affected by today's training. All flips could be better, tuck more jump up more. Slowly get back into proper flipping again. Don't impact myself too much, be soft with the punch. Movements abit too impactful, too fully aware/focussed of what I'm doing. Almost bailed in certain moves. I did drill my movements - good. One thing I notice, need to jump up more in my jumps. Trained abit too much, need more short, effective training. Knees starting feel sore after training again (osgood schlatter?).
Note to self - keep trainings low impact, focus more, don't push yourself too much.

March16th
Went to Metta today for CIP, was super slack, 2hours gone damn fast. After that, I found this wall behind metta, tried it out barefooted (school shoes are TORN), took a few tries, soon nailed it. A palm length taller then castle, did it with two steps (because no space). Not too bad. Tried doing one legged side on concrete, almost suicidal, not good. Did my 7 steps jump, they are damn impactful... Damn, should be keeping my training low impact. Learnt about one thing about my run ups.. the last steps or two are really stomped into the ground.. bad for ankles and knees (impactful), unnecessary, and uncontrolled. Need to work on being light on my foot.

Strength training wasnt too great. Squatted 76kgx3, 78kgx3 for 2nd set, but screwed up the 3rd in the 2nd rep.. sucked.. so I went for another set, done only 2 reps, felt that I can't push my body further. Pullups and benchpresse are still coping OK. I'm gonna lighten the squats, hopefully coping with them till the end of another 2 1/2 weeks.. and then I will deload and rotate exercises (to front squats, deadlifts) to break my squats plateau, which I something I'm facing now.. Focusing more on deadlifts and pullups now. Plan - deloading (2 weeks), 2 more weeks of front squatting, 1 week of refreshing, then I'll go into a new routine.. that I will be planning.

At night when the ground is drier, wall of doom is easy now. Tried the wall that I gonna aim for - touched the ledge thrice.. getting closer. Tried the wallpass beside the lift- should be able to nail with more focus. But too much of pushing in my wallpass.. not good. Did my flips on grass (playground still wet), my backflips still need alot of work.. tried one on concrete, still sucky landing and moving sideways (same for sideflips.. going to way sideways then straight forward). Frontflips impactful in the punch. Flips are kinda like sometimes good sometimes not good. Need more repetitions.

Conclusions upon Reflections.

2009-03-13T21:35:00.004+08:00

Stylo milo titlo.

It has been awhile since I reflected on my thoughts. Like I told you in the previous post I have read something, thought about it. But sometimes you can't fully understand it until you give it enough thoughts, or just when it comes to you naturally. I've thought of blogging about this like on Wednesday but I don't have the time to do it - heck, it is the laziness of me and the stupid time management of mine - most of the time I am doing something that I don't know.

I also got about of things to talk about in my trainings. I think I shall recap on that first.
Been quite a good day for strength training on Monday and Wednesday where both of them I felt really strong. Today wasn't alike, I missed one rep for the 81kg squat which is really stupid, I now see that I'm not at all capable of squatting the amount of weight yet, I have serious alterations to do for my squats. I've been aiming abit too high, haven't been listening to my body. Wasn't the best of sights for me at all, because on that last rep, after realizing I will not go anywhere if I were to force my way up, so I had to ditch the attempt, but I can't throw it back so I rounded my back to place it on a bar (not really, someone helped me to carry it up), and that kinda suck. What a mood spoiler after two good days. But I have realize I've been overestimating myself after that day, 80kg x 5reps with a spotter. If I didn't call for a spotter, I don't think I will be doing this for this 2 weeks. Pullups, Benchpress and Deadlifts are still improving, I will be focusing alot on them and hoping to reach 60kg for benchpress soon.

I realize there is no rush for me to get the doublebodyweight squats, I mean it isn't even quarter of the year over, and I mean so what if I don't get it by this year. I am already squatting 150% of my bodyweight which is quite a feat already, so why hurry. I could settle for 180% squat or something of that sort because really, fast progression doesn't mean anything. I still got a long way to go. I want to lower the weights in this routine because I do not want it to be counterproductive, and I don't want to fuck my tendons and ligaments up. Whatever it is, I am still quite confident of getting the 2xBW squats by this year. I'm focusing alot more on strength training this year, so there is no worries. Moreover, a goal is just a goal for you to work hard towards, at least you have worked and progressed towards your goal, it really doesn't matter whether you achieve it or not. The journey matters much more then the destination.
This goes for my OACs and Handstands and some flips as well, although I am seriously lazy to train my handstands.

My flips have improved quite well, especially my sideflip. I can land it quite consistently but of course there are many things that can still be improved on. I should be happy with what I have, but never too happy. Backflips are getting higher and better landed, frontflips are still on and off but nevertheless still good especially when I got it right. I also want to practice roundoffs and such, trying to get more height and tighter tucks in flips. The fear in my backflip is almost completely gone, which is very good but I shouldn't push too much yet.
I want to practice them whenever I have the opportunity now, after school before heading home, for just 45 minutes or less, aiming to get good 10 fronts, backs and sides. This will be a good way to improve, moves will be imprinted in my muscle memory, and I only train on those 3 flips because I believe those are the 3 most basic flips that will lead to the harder variations. I wanna get really strong fundamentals and from there I will work up to combos and the such. Things will slowly get worked on from there.

Movements training are still abit impactful. Still have the habit of not putting proper focus before doing a movement, merely just 'whacking' and hopefully land it. There are many attempts in my training, failed attempts that is. Just really bad I think for your muscle memory and of course confidence, also not forgetting the impact from the fall and how badly your land before it.
I want to place alot more emphasis on
- Repetitions, (for muscle memory and it is indeed the best way to improve)
- Aiming for perfection for every move and, (so that bad attempts wont be imprinted, and also less impacts - this also means training only around 90% of my max)
- Jump with a clear mind. (full focus, and no stupid anyhow whack, doing movements that I confident and comfortable with, be careful.)
Those are the most important things to take note of in my trainings.

Enough of blaberrings. Lets start on the main thing I want to discuss about.
Conclusions upon reflections
Before I continue, this is what I've read, written by Capo di Tutti Capi of the 3run Forums, a really deep thinking and experienced traceur.
"Definitely the most insightful and meaningful thing i have ever seen you come out with Matty, i'm glad you are finally starting to learn the true meaning of Parkour and what it implicates by calling yourself a 'Traceur' is something way beyond a person that just leaps from roof to roof.

I think this journal is a horrible idea, simply because you should never ever set yourself targets like this because it builds hype around specific movement. I myself was like this for the first pretty much 4 and a half years of training, constantly like ' i wanna get 5 new things today ' ' i wanna do this by next week ' and all that rubbish and seriously bro all your doing is limiting yourself.It took me months to get Ryan to understand this and now he is finally on his quest of learning he's been giving you the same talks and encourage that i gave him which is truly inspiring to see that Danny shown me the error of my ways, i passed what i had learnt to Ryan and now he has passed it down again to you. I hope with that, you will educate the guys around, Smitton, Rob, Kezo etc.

People who put specific difficult to a move will never truly master the move, i never look at anything and think 'impossible' because quite simply i know it's not. 4 years ago the jump at the top of the methidest was impossible, i mean like we we're like 'david belle couldnt even do that' then a year later Danny ran and jumped it, a year after that i ran and jumped, a year after that Danny precisioned it. But i know for a fact we we're capable of making that distance the first time we looked at it, 4 years ago i could have done that but simply because i had been looking at it for so long i had built up this image in my mind that the jump was so so big when it really wasnt. I know if i went to a new area now and the exact same jump was there i would think nothing of precisioning it, simply because there is no 'hype' around it and i know im capable.

The more pressure you put on yourself to do a move the worse it will get, if you give yourself a time limit to do a certain move your building pressure, because even if you do the move within that time scale you will not have truly taken in the moment, you have to feel ready not force yourself to be ready. Hyping up for moves is also bad, adrenaline may make you stronger but it locks out your sense of awareness completely and in the rare case that you baill and your pumping with adrenaline you will badly hurt yourself. You have to be aware at all times, you have to constantly be aware and acknowledge the moment you are in so that you truly understand each aspect of the movement and you are calm and controlled enough to react if something goes wrong.

'I want to do this precision a 0.42 on this video' why? Will it truly make you miles better? Will it genuinally increase your precision by a foot if you do it? Is there some kind of prize? The answer is no Matty, you will benefit 100 times more by doing 10 sets of a precision you can already do rather than 1 precision that you have never done before.

You have to drill everything you have previously to the extent that the move will feel as natural as walking, when you see you trying precisions like the methidest or g evans at the side of the jump knowing you are truly nowhere near ready to attempt it i think why is he doing that? He knows he cannot make it, why is not doing the jump behind it which he can do to help build his precision for the day when he is ready to attempt the bigger jump? Why does he not see the logic? Why is everything to this guy ' bigger bigger bigger winning winning winning '

I know you want to be the best bro but this is truly the wrong approach, winning is not important, being the best is not important, bettering another traceur is not important, doing a precision you have never done before is not important, what is truly important is that you move with absolute freedom and jump with a clear mind. Get rid of hatred, anger, compeition, sadness...any of these emotions that you feel when approaching, attempting and even failing a jump. You must be in the same state of mind constantly.

Live for the moment, live for now, move for yourself.

Took me near 5years to learn this brother, i hope you see the error of your ways quicker than i

Peace" - from here.

As you can see, some of the thoughts that I wrote in my trainings above is also partly concluded from the post above. I hope you guys took some time to read and decipher the text, because although long, it is a meaningful read.

I've seen myself and many other traceurs trying to push their limits too often. Well. Why attempt something that you are not ready for? Or even not fully confident. Doesn't it make sense = when you are not confident, that means you are not ready yet. I could recall a few big moves that I've busted and only to bail or sprain my ankle badly. It is really dumb to think of it. Also for big precisions that it super impactful for the joints, and the running precisions/cranes as well. It might be fun, the adrenaline rush to nail something of such level, but think about it long term, how detrimental would it be to your joints? Your body?
I'm pretty sure most of you have been into some point of your training, where you know roughly where your standards are, what you are capable of, and how big the jump it is to you. So if you know it isn't something that you can do well, even if it means you have done it before. We should keep our training only at 90% of our maximum and lower of course. If we keep drilling our movements of that range, soon you would be able to do the moves in the past which is considered to be 100% of your max quite easily, which means you've improved. Pure semantics.

Like said about my strength training earlier on. I think there is no point having to set a time limit of your goals. Goals are always good, there's something for you to work towards for. But there is no need to force yourself to get it. Of course it is smart to set realistic goals so it is easier to achieve it - achievements are always satisfying and a confidence booster, and smaller goals are like stepping stones to reach your ultimate goal or something. But when you are nowhere near your goal, there is no need to rush, as you know yourself that you aren't in any competition or chase, there is no reward or extra benefits to nail something by this year or next year. Slow progression means much more then fast progression. Theres nothing really fancy about being able to nail big stuffs but with no control, consistency and ease.

It is OK to push our limits. It is a good thing to improve, after all it is only subconscious goal, the reason why we train is to improve ourselves, mentally or physically. In my opinion, you should attempt bigger moves only when you are ready. Keep things low, keep drilling the smaller stuffs until it gets really easy. I think we should only attempt like maximum precision jumps once in awhile to note progression. But have self-control and stop attempting when you know it is a really maximum effort. There are still many other days in the future where you can try to nail your jumps. Like mentioned many of times - we are not in a hurry, rushing progression is only detrimental. And also, it is not about whether you can nail it anot, but rather whether you can nail it properly or not.

And of course regarding the point about getting rid of bad emotions. A big problem for me. I get really frustrated after a bad day, either in strength training or in flips, and after I bail, things like that. We all have to admit it sucks to be have those, but remember, such things will inevitably happen because well, nothing is ever easy. Will it still be fun if we have no challenges, that everything that we train for is easy? What are we, invincible? Of course not, bails and bad days will happen, and it is another challenge for us to get over those bad days, and treat all of those as training processes, and we learn from our bails and mistakes. Frustration and disappointment will lead you nowhere, the rest of the day will also be cocked up due to your state of mind. It is always best to have a clear and fresh mind, and treat everything as something to learn from.

And to recall the post - Thoughts crawling on my mind in November.
" I think it is really that I have a deep passion to move, I just love movements, they are just so fun. To not be restricted by anything, is just freedom to me. To overcome any obstacles, including my mental barriers, and to do anything that I want, to be able to do movements that I've never thought of doing before, is truly freedom to me. Moving gracefully through the environment is just a wonderful thing. To achieve full body control and to continually break the frontiers of my limits is just amazing. Controlling my every movement, to move the way I want to, are just stuff anyone would dream for. Its only a sad fact that they don't have the heart to work hard for what they want. Through this discipline, its amazing how far I came from, how much blood, sweat and tears I've put in, and how much improvements and learnings I've experienced. I now definitely move to live, and live to move. To constantly improve myself is my neverending goal - to achieve it is purely optional, but to work hard for it and having fun in my quest to 'perfection' is mandatory. "

Have my thoughts changed? Not in general. My thoughts could really be simplified - I just love moving, and the freedom it gives. Really.

More pointers to self.

Progress on your own comfortable pace.
Do not overpush yourself.
Never let bad emotions get the better of you.
Attempt new moves only when you are ready.

It is how we appreciate ourselves, our world, our life. There is nothing more in the world then to be satisfied with whatever we have and savour it. Treasure what you have before it is gone, long gone. Respect our bodies, a quality life will result in a longer life. Respect ourselves as with each other. With a clear mind, and clear path, things will only get better. There is no stopping of you if you are truly passionate and disciplined. Time is the test of our perseverance, effort is the test of our determination. With time and effort, we can redefine impossible.

My other lifelong goals is to be able to travel around the world, and to be an successful filmmaker. But happiness must never be compensated, for it is the main value of life.

I want to change for the better now.

Heads up.
Live in the moment.

And this week...

2009-03-08T13:54:00.003+08:00

Let me see...

Strength training is going ok ok, except Friday. And I will tell you why.
This week is somewhat a deloading week, the numbers of reps and sets (workload) are reduced significantly but the weights stayed put. So my workout was much more easier and less time were used to finished each day's workout. Although I'm quite disappointed with my squats especially for Fridays where I squatted a poor POOR 3 reps 80kg, the last rep was all forced and weak. Reason being, I underestimated this week alot. I thought I should be able to be handle this week's workout without much trouble because it is a deloading week. Overconfident. Complacent. This is also why spotters are not useful. Next week I will still be doing 80kg. I don't want to increase the weights if I can't handle the lighter one easily. I still have much time to get my 2x bodyweight squats.
On the other hand, bench press were easy as fuck. Deadlifts is still going fine. Pullups is ok although at times I feel that I really struggle alot.
This coming weeks, things will get slightly harder, and I really wish I don't go through the same thing as this Friday. I must treat each training my fullest effort and concentration. I thought I was disciplined in my approach in strength training - now I must keep that up.

Movements training are good. I want to train more runs now instead of individual movements. Haven't been pushing myself to do just that.
This week, I've been training for almost everyday for movements. Except Monday and Tuesday which was raining for the whole day. Wednesday I trained abit of flips (45minutes?) after school, then went to gym when the rain starts to pour. Thursday I was training abit of plyometrics. Still aiming to get 6 steps from a standing start, and I nailed 7 steps with a running start. Pounces are much more powerful now. Still can't nail the low to high precision at my place. Trained flips and movements at night after strength training. Trained yesterday at Dino then at Senja, and today I trained flips. So I think next week I should be resting properly because strength training will get more intense again.

I think my SDC lack control at some point, especially when going for distance and I think my SDC lack of height. But I'm quite good with them already so I should just focus on the things I could already nail and just better that.
Trainings pounces and strides more now as I think they are a very good way for training leg power. And they are quite efficient. Precisions are good and controlled. While my climbups are getting more 2nd nature (being able to do with either legs up) and more straight armed.
Wallpasses are getting better I can feel, yesterday went to Senja with Fred, Zahid and Db, nailed the wall twice out of 20 attempts, and in the 18 failed attempts, twice I got hold of the edge with two hands but slipped due to the slantedness of the wall.. lol. Not too happy with that, but... for the hdb wall at Castle, I could nail them after like 4/5 tries, about 50% of the time, I want to better that till I get it 95% of the time.

Talking about Castle, there might be a chance of it being demolished. Maybe, maybe not. If it really gets demolished, that will suck. I'm not sure about talking to the town council and try to stop them from tearing down the place, but I'm not sure about the odds. I wonder if it would work or it will just increase the chances of them demolishing the place. Oh well, we should treasure the things that we have now so we won't regret not cherishing it at the first place.

Flips ain't too good. Just came back from training just now. Don't want to train too much, just aimed for 10 backs, fronts and sides and thats it. Took 1 hour to do just that, or a little longer.
You might think my frontflips are really good and since I've been doing them for quite a long time already, it should be quite good in them. Yeah I think I'm not too sucky with them but I really suck controlling it. If I really want to land I could, but I will roll out of it/do a sucky frog jump thing, or just land really shoddily. Only like 20% of the time can I land with good height and good landing. That is with a running start.
Backflips are OK but sometimes I can't control how much I jump back or jump up, and sometimes I land really shoddy and heavily, slanted. Inconsistent. But I can land them most of the time. It is backflip that I have no problems controlling the untucking and the under/over-rotating. Sideflips are ok to me considering the amount of experience I have for them. Well, they are getting alot better and I want to keep practicing them till I can do them in combos and standing and after an sdc. But I still can't really control the landing, like landing one leg at a time, sometimes I overrotate and I still don't really understand the movement.

Simply put, my flips lack control.
And I need alot more practice.
Sometimes I feel my flips have all sorts of ups and downs. Sometimes I can come back from some training and say that my flips improved and they are getting real good, and the other days I will be disappointed and say my flip sucks and all. But seriously I shouldn't be. I need to get rid of such frustrations, really unnecessary. All of these should be treated as stepping stones.

To be honest, I do feel alot of impacts in my knees already, thanks to the flips and big jumps and stuffs, added with heavy squatting and really stupid poor form. So to compensate that I'll cut down on my trainings abit and rest well till I get this routine over and done with. Anyway towards the last third/quarter of the year I will be doing really intense strength training and hardly any movement training because I wouldn't have any more time to travel anywhere further, the most I will do regular flips practice for maximum 45minutes as flips are the main issue of work now.

Handstands are still a pain in the ass, I never seem to be improving. Seriously they are frustrating, just ask anyone else who trains them. What a test of my limited patience. I am waiting for the very day when I can say I am able to handstand. Still a long way ahead.

And I have read something that could possibly change the thoughts and perspective of movements and trainings. I just need to read alittle more in depth and understand deeper, and then I'll come up with another post.

Other then that...
I guess I'll have to work on speed.

First post in March.

2009-03-01T18:03:00.003+08:00

Not a very good week I'll say.
I'll go through my training day by day first.

Monday, was my 74kgx5x5 squats day, was damn tiring but I still managed to do 4 full sets of 5 and the 5th set, I missed one rep purposely because I don't wanna fatigue my body and also I hate forced reps. I am confident of handling that last rep though but just stop to be safe. Benchpress was still easy, 53kg benchpress 5reps, not too much of difficulty yet. Pullups was next, 25kg up on the line. Was super forced for the last rep, but it still counts, still abit disappointed with that.
One thing that happened that day was this two guys, using the Smith machine (lol lame bodybuilders), and while I was changing the weights on the dip belt I unintentionally blocked their way while he was bench pressing, so he not happy and screamed at me, while the other guy chipped in as well. Of course of my size and age I can't do anything to appease the situation so I had to just shut up and submit and mind my own business.. my mood was affected, tried not to think too much of it because I was still in the midst of my pullups sets. I guess the poor last rep was partly due to my ruined mood at that time. Oh well. I just wonder why people have to shout, cannot talk nicely, and act all so big, take advantage of people rather unreasonably. Ahhh, my mind was filled with those thoughts at the end of that day. But I guess we shouldn't like should stupid, worthless and small things get in our way.

Tuesday was raining the whole day, whole floor wet, so I thought I have to wait till the night and hoepfully the playground dry up so I can do some tricking. But sadly nothing dries up even up to the end of the night so about 8pm, I felt that I can't stay at home and do nothing, so I tried to made do with what I've got - train on concrete, backflips and aerial. Bad move. My backflips really sucked.. my form totally changes day to day, and especially when I don't do them for some days. Fuck, I don't know why. Sometimes it can be good, but sometimes my face can be so close to the ground and the landing is fucking loud and hard. Aerial still damn low, no height. Quite sad but that is how flips go, bad landings and all, ugly form and it will take damn long to smoothen things out. This training shows me how fucking strainful it is to the ankles, knees and back to take flips on concretes, this are way more impactful then drops and running pre and all those stuffs.. wow the landing is so loud and the impact you can really feel it. Flips are not meant for concrete. Bad idea.. my ankles and knees are gonna hate me.

Wednesday was a simple day in the gym, but before that while walking back home I went to castle abit for training to cover up yesterday nothingness, my wallpass seems to be improving well, though not good enough for the buangkok wall (should be close to though), and my sideflips are getting really good. I've got the hang of it and my frontflips are still there. Backflip are still kinda sloppy and they really need alot of work (my goal for this tuesday). In the gym I dead 73kgx5x5 deadlifts quite easily, but I must be paying more attention on my form because I don't wanna hurt my back. Military presses sucked, but I don't really care... and yeah, thats pretty much everything that went on that day.

Thursday was a rest day for me. Did nothing at all, just slacking and studying.

Friday was my 80kg squat day. I think I am capable of doing that but the fact that I used spotters made that unraw. Shouldn't use a spotter, but rather rely on myself on whether I can go for the next rep, and safety shouldn't be a concern if you know yourself and the weight that you are handling well. The spotter helped me to stabilise myself alot, as I feel that I exert much less force.. I dont know. I don't really consider myself being able to do that fully yet. But I'll stop thinking about all that as I will only disappoint myself even further. Next, benchpress 50kg x5x5 was easy. Bench press so far, no problem, yeah it is getting harder, but I've been coping well. The second downcoming was pullups, I only did 1 set of 5 reps of 23kg. the 2nd and 3rd missed a rep, 4th set missed 2reps while the last one missed one rep even when I lowered the weight to 19kg.. resulted in overtraining. I should have stop at the 3rd set where I know I couldn't handle the next 2 instead of forcing myself. Overtraining is not good. Two things that I learnt in today gym session - Don't rely on spotters, and stop when you know you are fatigued.

Saturday (yesterday) was the Buangkok jam that I have been waiting for, as usual, time flies so fast, this day came quite fast. Was an amazing day, only didn't manage to nail the wallpass and the sdc2lp (which is actually really damn far, I shouldn't force myself to nail things..). Did feel the incredible progression in sideflips, should be aiming for higher and cleaner landings now. Only sucky thing about that day is that I bailed a sideflip trying to do it after an SDC and off a height, and landing on my tailbone on grass fortunately. Nailed a far precision and far armjump, so all's cool. Witnessing the progression and the wicked skills of the rest was damn sick, Derrick busting out a serious jizz-in-my-pants crane, and another huge crane from Fred and Jordan. Of course the usual slack with the clique on the Saturdays, awesomeness.

Sunday was full of slack, did not made myself practicing handstands or even stretching. Lol. Lazy CP.

Now overall.
Felt that I should work on my backflips alot now, because I really have lost the momemtum going on in the past, where I can feel the height and the landing, with the controlled landing and all. Same goes for my lache gainer which I totally lost the feel already because of a long draught of non-practice. Sucks to the core. I guess those flips must really require constant practice, at least abit everyday, until the point where they are instilled in your muscle memory and you know how to do it well, including the air awareness. Frontflips still really can't feel the point to untuck of various heights and so forth. Sideflips are getting good I'll start trying one legged ones. Feels that the variants of backflips will be taking much more longer then expected, argh. But I can't afford to lose patience, time is what I have, and shouldn't be too greedy in progression.

The pain from the bail of the sideflip, I'm still feeling it. To be honest before that I have a weird small lowerback pain recently and I don't know the cause of it, but hais, I hope nothing serious. Knees are being more impacted since the introduction of flips, and long saturday jams. Need to come back earlier on the saturday jams. Gosh I hate the impact coming out in flips, sucks to only have grass is the only tricking mat. No gym. And no indoor playground when it rains. Fucke.

And now week 5 is the deloading week, will be squating 80kg but only for 3 reps, so if I feel that I can do those relatively easily, I'd be satisfied enough and will consider myself being able to squat that weight for 5 reps. I'll take this as a sort of a break from strength training. Week 6 will start getting harder again, and I'll need to ready myself for week 8 and 9. And yeah since the weight is getting heavier, I should really listen to my body on whether or not I could handle the weights and of course keep the cleanest of form.

Will be editing the video in this few days, if the computer is for me to use and Vegas runs as planned, and if I got the time. I will be aiming for a different kind of video, not just an ordinary 'big-jam-so-lick-it' video and with a different mood of music. Recently found alot of new musics rocking on my speakers, mostly drum and bass :P. Anyway, you'll see the end product by Friday or so.. I'll try. There will be test on Thursday, and another test next week. Why can't we just get over and done with the tests.

March holidays is not very far from now and that would be perfect from a break from studies and a litlte more focus on flips which I really need work on at the mo. I should really stop impacting myself, stay away from concrete until the form on grass and mats are topnotch, and keep my training low impact. I shouldn't keep going for the big big impactful movements but focusing on landing the stuff I could already do with more smoothness and control, and doing them easily.

And why am I not practicing more on my handstands, don't I want to get them down by the end of this year? Sadded.

Will be blogging every Sunday.
Don't want to continue blogging anymore.
Later too long,
and it is getting late.

check out my deeenester blog on the weekdays though. lulz.

A tad of progression.

2009-02-22T15:55:00.003+08:00

This week I felt a progression in terms of strength, and flips.

Starting with strength training in the weights gym first, this week was a real killer week. But I've successfully survived this week, didn't missed a rep on the big days, except for the 5x5 straight sets which is honestly hard to keep but I don't think it will make much of a difference. It is good enough that I've managed to do a few sets. 24kg x 5reps pullups on monday. 76kg x 5reps squats on friday (with the fact that my body is tired from being forced to play soccer and also muscles havent fully recover). This shows abit of progression. The squat felt abit easier, and I thought I couldn't manage it at first. But I just have to do it, giving my full focus and then psyching up myself, and tried to not think too much about it, and I did it. Bench presses and deadlifts are still easy I don't know why but I shouldn't be complacent.
Next week, tomorrow I will be doing 25kg x 5 pullups, hopefully I could succeed in that so I can take a break from heavy pullups for a while. Squats will be a killer, tomorrow will be doing 74kgx5x5, I just hope to do 3 good sets and the other two just do how much I am able to. Same for the pullups 23kgx5x5 on friday. Benchpressing 54kg tomorrow, deadliftings 73kgx5x5 on wednesday. Squating 80kg on friday which is the main thing that I will focusing, hopefully I can manage this and on thursday I'll do nothing but rest and only rest, and eating well (will be handstanding though). Yeah, after week 4 things will get much easier for awhile till week8 comes, but week 4 is actually the main obstacle for this workout, same for week 9, so surviving this week means half the job done. Wish myself good luck.

Lets start talking about things that you guys can actually understand.

I also felt progression in my jumps. Remember the last week I said about the flat precision at future park. Yesterday I nailed it. After a few attempts. Not really forcing myself to nail but just thought to give it a shot. At first I ain't near reaching it but after a bit of warming up and could land them. It is 9 3/4 of my footsteps which is really huge for me, and yeah thats my max. Seeing that the bench was my ultimate goal, so I tried it, at first I thought it was just too far for me still. But again after properly warming up my legs, I tried it and nailed it, thrice. The maxest max precision already though. I could say it is the same length but just not on a flat ground. I don't think I will continue to push my standing jumps for distance already, but I'm going for height now.
Maybe I should focus on nailing the one at Shino really easily. As you know going for height is much more harder then going for distance. When I see jumps I usually know whether I could nail anot but yesterday was rather different, I don't think I can but I still nailed it. But if I really analyse the distance, it seems really impossible, and really can't believe I could clear this distance. At the Dame Du Lac (ashton spot), I nailed the running crane better now, but still really impactful and the first attempt I knocked my knee against the wall real hard. One big problem. And I nailed some other big jumps (considered big in the past) rather controlled and easily.

But yeah, big jumps are impactful. So the more you progress, you end up doing even bigger jumps, giving bigger impacts to your knees and more impact to absorb, and thus making things much more impactful. Ah, thats one thing I haven't changed this week. Trainings are still very impactful. Not just because of the things I do, but the time length of the training. Hais.

Flips are progressing too. Frontflip especially. I think I can nail frontflip all the time now, quite 2nd nature for me, but I'm avoiding concrete still. I don't think flips are meant to be done on concrete, because no matter how you land it is still very stressful. Two achievements for frontflips. Nailed standing fronts on flat and running punch front onto higher platform about shin height (still overrotated). Just one thing is that my control in my flips in the air still sucks, and still not sure when to untuck. Flips off heights are still really scary and I can't do a good landing off it. Backflips is really weird seriously, sometimes it is good sometimes it sucks, it feels different time and again and I still can't really control it well. I need more practice in them definitely. Sideflips are ok now as I got the technique and I could land them about 60% of the time already.

I still need the air awareness and control that is really needed for good flips. With that, flips will be really easier. I just need to practice alot alot more. I also wanna sharpen up my roundoff arabian and try out different flips, and maybe do sideflips off one leg. Before I progress to the different variation of backflips (like wallflip, gainer and even palmflip), I should seriously get my backflip properly inside of my system. I don't want another bail.
Oh yeah, I nailed my lache gainer again. Suprisingly didn't took long to get it back. Because the flip is really easier, all I need to do is to let go higher, pull higher, and tuck. I'll continue practicing that till everything is 2nd nature. Actually, even if so, you'll still need to focus on what you are doing. Focus is needed in everything, every single movement. In flips, you also can't freak out, no matter what you can't, or else you'll bail.
Got some mini bails yesterday, like the knock in the knee in the crane and alot of other small stuffs (which I forgot, lol). Sucks.

Oh and I nailed a shelter muscleup without the pause yesterday, quite good progression but I'll hope to get them consistent and on thicker shelters.

This week gonna be full of tests so, gonna be stressed. Study study study.. Physics, Chem, Amaths and Emaths.. Damn. It is gonna be hard. I hope I do well in all of them.

Next week will be the mass buangkok jam and I can already feel that it is going to be so sick. I will be filming the whole day down, but the video will be way different and trust me it will be nice.

Sunday is my rest day, so I won't be just lazing around but also do handstands practice and alot of stretching.

Nothing much to say this week.

Understanding of things.

2009-02-15T13:45:00.002+08:00

Titling a post is really hard.

Yeah, recently I've been thinking about several stuffs, reading abit, being told abit, experimenting, asking myself.

Actually, after thinking about myself and how I react to others and things like that. I just realize I like to 'hate' or 'flame' others for the flaws that I myself do. Like saying the other guys as reckless, but I think I'm really reckless as well, which explains the number of bails I have. Everytime trying to push my limits but do not know when to stop, and usually force myself to nail something new/harder. And I do think I'm abit arrogant and like to boss about sometimes.
I think everyone should not say anything unless they totally sure about it. Do not anyhow assume stuffs that are not true (or not proven). Even if you are confident it is true or whatever, just keep comments to yourself, don't even tell others about what you think, because it doesn't speak much about yourself. I've wrongly assumed stuffs and I feel bad about it. Everything is not what you think it is, what it seems to be. And like I said earlier, dont criticise if you have the same problem.

Went to the newcomers jam yesterday, was well good. The newcomers interact with each tohers alot, train by themselves before we came and I think some of them have potential, but some, are just nonsense. But I think if we keep making those jams then slowly we can see who is genuinely interested in this, and those who just do this to act cool and for fun and blah. Some of the newcomers attitude in the forums just pisses me off. But some are matured and handle things properly. Others are just yaya papaya. I hope that we can find more potential guys in the near future.

Another thing I wanna state out is Parkour's misconceptions. I watched Teghead new video just a week ago and as usual was really impressed. I just like the way how he doesn't think of what to do but just naturally do what he does to get over those obstacles, and somewhat force himselves over. I also realize my wallpasses are really slow in the climbing up part and thats something I must work on now. I think many people don't really do Parkour but they keep claiming they do. And they like to make false statements just to reassure themselves but they never thought of how useless most technique is to them. Only until they go for a real run or chase/escape scenario will they realize the number of redundant, useless movements they have trained for a few years. I don't want to go into further details but people should just think for themselves. I myself don't practice Parkour, I don't go for efficiency, but I know what is Parkour and I can move efficiently when I need to.

Indeed after seeing the 'some of the old, some of the new' video, I realize I've been doing so many SDCs and so many individual single movements which the thought of that just irritates me alot. How can I be only training just one thing and not focusing on one of the most important of movement - runs. Moving fast, not stopping. Hais, don't know what am I focusing at the moment. Flips? Runs? Strength training? Stupid shit. I think I should stop doing SDCs though, I think I've overtrained them. Anyway it is very good already, don't want to be so imbalanced.

Talking about flips, I think my frontflips is quite good right now, of course still not sure when to untuck and all, and still not to the point where it is really good for harder variations and stuffs. Backflips needs alot of tweaking, it is starting to get even weirder I don't know why, but I still need alot of practice before I go on to the other movements. Haven't really been trying my sideflips, so it still sucks but I should keep drilling them soon. This three basic flips. I want to get them to a good satisfiable level by April then things will get alot better. I was thinking of training standing frontflips as they will be a good way to focus on the tuck and technique, and once I can nail them quite well, frontflips with momemtum would be way easier. Aerial is another flip that I don't really like but still will train them when I have the time. I will be trying moonkick next month, while this month I will be focusing on sideflips. Not much time left though. Lache gainer.. still got fear. Hais..

Injuries from the faceplant are healing very good, most of my injuries are healed and I hope I could avoid bailing at all costs for now. Yesterday I bailed a couple of moves like the crane (a knock on the knee) and a really careless trip on a climbup sdc thing. Damn. Nothing serious but still something that is really stupid and can be avoided. Nobody wants to bail, but bailing happens. But I'm bailing too often man.. no good. Yet another thing to work on.. avoiding bails.

Flips aside, I think I placing too much emphasis on Parkour then I should since I want to improve more on my weaknesses (flips, handstands, etc.). Anyway, I'm drilling alot on my running precisions now, wanting to get more height in the jumps and the runnign catleap at castle, want to get them constant. Height is so damn important. I've thought about the things that I want to nail in Bishan. Still further and harder then I thought, don't think I can nail them anytime soon.

One thing I want to note that is I find my training damn impactful. One thing is because of the length of my training. I used to say I would only train like maximum 1hr30minutes but on Saturdays I usually train so much that I accumulate so many impact for just one days work. Not good. And you know the stuffs I do, including the number of bails and the level of jumps and impact I deliver to my knees, ankles and back, I'm not sure how long am I gonna last. Probably I will start feeling the damage when I'm 40, or earlier. I don't know why I keep doing all those impactful stuffs. And it is also thanks to flips (and I will only do flips on concrete when my flips on grass and is super good. and I'll do concrete tricking once in a while only). I should stay low impact now.. seriously.

On individual techniques.. my 180s cat to precisions are really weak. I still am not used to getting height from the kick yet. I can't nail the one at Bishan yet I don't know why. It is just the fear of not being able to kick up and get height enough. Which is weird.. I can do the one at ClarkeQuay quite easily. I used to be able to nail the lower one before don't know why I was scared today.
Cranes are impactful. I don't know why I crane the SDC2P at Bishan (at the first spot, coming from the other side from then sdc2cat). My toe on my trailing leg hits the wall with so much forward momentum it is really pain, then my right leg's knee that is landing on the wall is impacted alot as well. I think my trailing leg in my cranes are a big problem, it is the problem why I hit my knees on the wall in the running crane at the SK's Dame Du Lac and at Bishan the SDC2Cranecatthing. Sucks man. Need to work on my technique. And when I land cranes on stuffs that I can't get enough height for, I land on my arch, which is super impactful as well..
Lastly, my wallpass improved alot. My wall of doom is quite consistent already and I got abit of better technique as I feel. I nailed the wall near the bus stop near Shino and those stuffs that is jutting out in castle. Finally some improved. I hope to get them consistent though, and climbing up faster from it. Soon I will be able to nail a high wall in my area..

Strength training is awesome at the moment, 2 weeks down (extremely fast how time flies), no missed reps (although technically there is 1 rep and 1 set missed from wednesday session which arguably is the worse of all the 6). Week 3 next, this friday I will be squatting my PR I wonder how much I've progressed since then. Its gonna be super tough this week, I don't think I'll take this few sessions easily now, as I've going beyond my PRs in some. Week 4, don't need to talk, even worse, but I hope to survive through them without missing reps or lower the weight. Because I think the toughest week will be week 4 and week 9. I'll need alot of focus and rest for those days. Pullups are getting stronger I can see but squats are getting harder and harder. But I'll be confident to at least get over week 3. Bench Press don't seem much of a problem yet, same as deadlifts.

Actually I've seen good improvement in my jumping strength, but forcing myself to jump my max really stresses my ankle and knees, even my back. That day at future park. Wow, I don't know why I forced myself to land that. It is because I can't believe I'm still not near from nailing it after like so many months, used to wanted to nail that since August. But still I can feel improvements in other things. Climbups are well good now and I can do it qutie fast from a hanging position which is a good achievement for me. Couple of goals I want to train for - Nail that fucking standing jump at future park, been eyeing that for a long time already. Nail a chest height standing box jump, the one at tree garden. And one more standing jump at my place, similar to the one at Shino but lower, only further. Probably my strength training routine will help with this.

I want to get a wide angle lens soon, maybe by the end of next week, because I'm seriously pissed by the narrowness of my camera lens. But actually from what I've read, Canon HV30 lens isn't that narrow because the other cameras are narrower. Wow. But whatever. I wonder how much it will cost though. Hope it is something that I can afford. I'll try to scout for a really good one. I need a mic as well for my documentary. I hope I don't screw up while buying. The reason why I want to buy them so quickly is because I don't want my mother to rob my money again.

I've been thinking of more artistic and depthful pieces of film. I don't feel like making just a normal typical video that most people can do. I hope I could start on Ashton's showreel soon, Fred's one almost done, and in process of collecting clips from Dblucy and Stephen. Also the documentary, thinking of ideas. I've finished editing the redhill jam video rather nonchalantly, I wonder what you guys will think of it. I've also thought I'll make another video similar to May-July where I feature alot of my friends instead of just me, just for a dedication. Buangkok jam video, it will probably be epic. And then when Qayyim returns.. BISHAN JAM. Well I said I wouldn't be making so many videos but wow.

O levels this year. I don't seem like I'm scared, or at least worried. I'm still kinda taking everything easy. When will I start studying seriously? I don't really listen in class especially for boring lessons.. things are getting more tougher, more stressful, more tests coming at a go. How to get good grades like that.. I can't wait till I get Olevels over and done with, then I'll have almost all the time of my life. Homeworks and everything.. what a pain in the ass.
Social-wise, not so good as well but I've just decided to heck care all this. I think its good enough interacting with the normal people I'm with. I mean it happens sometimes like when you walk past your classmate and act like you never seen each other before. It is kinda fucked up especially when you know the other person is not those quiet type. Lol. Random thoughts, but yeah. Oh yeah and bad news.

Alex Winslow and the other guys ain't coming anymore. The price has gone up, sadly. Everyone's disappointed, next time we should remember we shouldn't have our hopes too high for anything. Thanks to economic recession nowadays I've been trying to save money as much as possible. Not to eat outside, do not buy unnecessary comfort foods and try to be more money minded. I always bring my water out for one reason, if I keep buying water outside each time I go out, It'll cost alot. I'm not rich at all and I want to save up as much as possible for future overseas travelling. Time is precious now, as I can feel it is moving so quickly. March is coming very soon and my routine will be done in a flash. Ahhhh I should stop wasting time.

I just got a few things in mind now.
Work towards my goals - Handstands, those two strength training goals, flips.
Train flips - drill backflips, frontflips and sideflips.
Train properly - drill running jumps, faster wallpasses, more runs.
Avoid injuries, bails - stay safe, stay focused, stop being reckless.
Avoid impacts - stay low impact, don't train for extended periods of time.
Don't waste time - be productive with the use of time, care about things that only matters, start studying soon.
Save money - don't spend money on unnecessary stuffs, but don't go overboard.
Stay happy, optimistic, and train hard.

Fin.

Series of unfortunate events.

2009-02-05T21:47:00.004+08:00

Hell yeah, a fucking bad week.
To start off first, which was probably the main reason that provoke this much of thoughts that will be putting into this post, is my really reckless, careless, unfortunate bail in school. What it is? Bailed lache gainer, faceplants, grazed into the playgrounds mats, cuts and abrasions, scratches caused by my specs, even worse, disfigured ugly face. What happened? Released too early, didn't pull up for height for my lache gainer, tucked but the gainer is going downwards and very forward, causing one of my worse bail I think I've suffered. What a way to start February. Why? Never focus, overconfident, just whack, not aware of the consequences, careless, unlucky, stupid, and never focus. Before that, I landed a very poor lache gainer, then I got one with good height but uncontrolled landing, the third attempt was the serious injury.

Why must it happened.. how fucking careless and somewhat reckless of me. I bailed. Wait. I bailed, YET AGAIN. And what a place to do it, in school. I really felt like rewinding time then but was quick to realize the reality. Sucks. A moment's folly resulted in utter disappointment and regret. If you guys read my blog since the past, you will know this is not the first time such stupid incidents occured. But then, since things are already done, no point dwelling. Thing is, I hardly learn from my stupid mistakes. When will I learn my lesson? The stuffs that I've lost in Clementi. Did I learn my lesson? I still live my stuffs lying everywhere. Seriously man, I can't get things to stick permanently into my mind. After about a few months, sometimes even just weeks, I'll take things for granted again. So dumb.

One thing I realize. My school friends didn't make much noise. Rather showed some concern, no one made fun of me, looked at me like an asshole. They didn't go like "parkour again ah, then kena your face?", they said things like "what happened, what you do". I expected something stupid and irritating. This means, I think we do think badly of those typical humans, maybe some mats and stupid irritating people do so, but not all. We shouldn't generalize thing. It looks like we are the one thinking badly of them, not them thinking badly of us. Teachers did make noise, but they are like that, don't really care about them though. Parents are much more understanding now. Father said stuffs like, "you wanna do this stuffs also can, but learn to be safe, do stuffs in your capability." Not that bad, expected worse scoldings.

------Hold on. Edit. Seems like I was wrong. A couple of friends did in the end made fun of me after knowing what I did. Thought they would understand. Words goes "wanna act cool harh?" "*laughs non stop* that is so idiotic only stupid people will do that". I obviously feel pissed but yeah, realize that there is no point.. Still there are a few that understands and didn't made much noise. Was a very careless mistake at that point, I wonder when will I do another lache gainer.. To be honest I still think lache gainer is really easy, I've tried it on low bars, tried it with one swing, I could still land them nicely. Even if I bail lache gainers, the worse is on knees and hands, but still, I've rotated and still see the ground. But this time round, was horrible.

Let me think of my worse bails. One whole list, I know.
The sdc to underbar at Marine Parade, just force my legs to go through, never pull hard in the underbar, head knocked to the edge of the floor, head bleeds.
Twice in one day at sculpture park, really deep shin scar and bruised back, slip in my crane and gashed my shin, fingertips slipped in a catleap, falling back first 1metre down onto concrete.
Back in the poser days, really dive into an sdc to get distance, hands slipped, landing with my pinkie onto concrete, finger dislocated.
50 attempts wallpass, just to get one on film, failed horribly, knee pain. Not really a bail, but still stupid. This was a classic.
Another faceplant back in 2007, tried a frontflip at the beach of somehting, overrotated, face fall hard soon after my legs went into contact on the sand. Not much of a big deal but very dumb still. Bishan with Ish, slipped in an sdc. Castle while balancing, foot missed the rail, face hit the rail. More and more other bullshits.
There's still more of such bails. Alot more. But the rest are minor. Minor doesn't means good. Blane doesn't bail. Much others don't bail. They don't even impact themselves much. Why? Good control over their body, good focus, don't push limits too much, safety first.

I seriously should learn that for everything, you need to focus, no matter the conditions. Don't go blind and don't think about what you are doing. I wanna adapt the mindset that you can't afford to bail at all costs. Whether it is high risk low risk, in flips, in rail precisions, in huge catleaps. Not only bail, but everything I do, I better land, don't miss a move. Those kind of mindset. If I don't think I can land this running precision all the time, then I don't do it. When I do it, I make sure I nail it, and not far back. Or at least fall back down into a cat, so it won't be a miss or something. Maybe just one attempt, but thats all. If I can't means I can't so no point in keep doing it. I can't afford to bail. Not one move should I miss, bail, clip, slip. My training should be kept low impact from now on. Strength training routine is coming up. Last thing I want is more injuries.

Another thing I wanna train on is, my wallpasses, especially the part when I'm climbing up. I think most people think the key for fast wallpasses is good climbups. But no, its leg coordination. Upperbody strength will help but people should realize using overgrip and forearms makes going up much more faster and easier and the kickup is super important. I should start training on reps just hanging with one hand on the wall, and rush to get up and over it.
Wanted to put more focus on more efficient things. Not that I practice pure parkour, but just want to get speed. Many people fail to realize the fact that SDCs are not parkour, neither most of their things are. Precisions, SDC2P and balance. I wonder when will people learn to understand. They can be efficient at times. But does that makes it parkour? Maybe they are just too brainwashed.

Only 2 out of the 27 workouts is done, with each workouts getting harder and more intense week to week, spreading for 9 weeks. As this is the first week, things are easy, but its gonna be a killer to withstand week 3, let alone week 4, 8 and week 9. You guys probably don't understand all this so don't bother, hahaha.
But yeah I really need to take more days off for rest and focus on proper strength training. It's gonna get way tougher down the weeks, and I don't want to miss any reps. I wanna make something out of this routine. Proper pysching up before 5rms or whatever as well.

Taking more rest means less movements training. But doing 15 backflips a day won't hurt. I was thinking of training backflip at home. I wanna get the movement of the backflip hardwired into my system. I could whack ok-ok backflip on concrete anytime I want now, which is good for now, the next thing I want to focus on is height and good technique. I decided to train on Tuesdays and Saturdays for movements, while keeping Thursdays and Sundays for full day rests.

My palm is abit bruised, my knee suffered a pretty painful abrasion. The cause of it, during my walk to school yesterday. Its rather traumatic, I was crossing a zebra crossing and was walking really slowly and I thought this motorbike will stop. I walked slowly because when it came closer it didn't look like it is going to stop. But it didn't stop and it banged into me. Seriously. No joke. One thing dumb is that why I didn't avoid it and dumb dumb let it hit me, because I was staring at the bike all the while. Maybe because I thought it is a zebra crossing and I'm not wrong walking slowly. I can handle a motorbike crash, which is weird, luckily it wasn't a car or not I wouldn't be here right now. But I got a stupid abrasion which hurts like hell.. fuck the motorist seriously should learn that even in a zebra crossing, learn to stop no matetr how slow the pedestrain is crossing. Damn traumatic, because it happened out of nowhere, and it went straight into me but I still managed to move, and luckily it was a car, and somemore I was just awake.. fuck I hate this feelings.

I still think my frontflips needs alot of work, same as my other flips. I think people think flips are rather easy but when you actually think about it, they are very hard, especially hard to land them floaty and with good technique, form, and confidence. Consistency is another problem. I think all the tricksters gone through the same thing, uncountable number of repetitions each training, till their flips are very solid. Thats the only way.. no choice. Sideflips are getting there.. almost there. Must keep practicing, keep drilling. I will, in time to come, have the standard of flips that I'd like.

I realize theres still many thing that I need to work on. Handstands have been neglecting alot. I feel that I'm really lazy to train my handstands, sometimes I don't feel any progress in them, which sucks. But I still do them occasionally. I seriously should start working on them if I wanna get them down this year. This needs discipline. And you know what, I think my rolls aren't good at all. Never been practicing them consistently. Still not totally used to them and sometimes I still need to think of pointers before doing them, not 2nd nature yet. Stupid man.

In school, everytime during recess I do flips after eating. I think I'm attracting too much attention. I wanna be a little more low profile. People do realize that I go fitness corner alone too, then train alone. Never socialize, never interact. In class, I hardly talk much as well, just the normal guys that I go with. Girls, don't know what subject to talk about. I lack social skills, communicative skills. I can hardly make a conversation last long, nothing else to talk about. I don't have much initiative, don't have much courage. Don't talk to everyone, just selected few. Can't keep eye contact, can't keep a proper face expression, can't contain an awkward silence. Quite sad eh? I think I should give it a fuck to the fitness corner thanks to the bail obviously, and go play soccer. Much safer, much more 'human'. Need to just chat more and go out more with my friends. This is the last secondary school year for me. I don't want to regret it. Friends are definitely important. Do need to understand my presence in life. So need to. But I shouldn't be too sensitive.

Money, I've gotten about $220 in my bank account. My mother took 300 of my scholarship money. I didn't make noise, but she'd better return me my money, I wanna get a microphone and wide angle lens soon. She'd also better return me my 400 bucks from my pay at Mac. Those were my own money, I got all rights to keep it for the things I want. Which is to travel to overseas. Thinking of this subject makes my blood boil. Its so retarded.. why parents don't understand of kids wanting to save up and keep money for themselves?

Food. I think my nutrition is somewhat OK now, eating more proteins now that I need alot more of them. I think I should vary my diet a little more just so I won't get bored of it. Chicken stays though. Vegetarians are stupid, zhiyang is gay.

I've been downloading more snowboard movies. I wanna watch them to my delight. I wanna film more artistic timelapse, random shots, and compile into a huge list then use it when I need it. Like mentioned. I want a mic and wide lens. Mic for documentary and better sounds, widelens for effectiveness. Working on a small video now, in process of editing. Nothing much, just a mess about. Also working on Freds, Stephens and.. Ashton's showreel.. when will the time come?

I've received news that Alex Winslow, Calum Lynch-Strachan, Joe Parker will be coming to Singapore this July. Awesome. Thanks to Ish to be honest, that he persuaded those guys to come visit the spots and us. Never thought I would have the chance to meet them. Those guys are quite popular if you guys don't know then too bad. They are pretty fucking talented. Qayyim and Sabree to meet us during April. Cool eh? More visitors. Dblucy said about the Kuwait guy coming to Singapore again during August? Rhys James and Shuan Wood would follow Ish to come to Singapore too but not sure when. Would be soooo sick. Can't wait for this events.

I wanna go to Bishan and Buangkok to train again.. good spots. I wanna find more potential in those two areas. All I can say those two spots rocks. If I were to travel, this two places will be my first choices.

Studies are still fine. Nothing too stressful still. Can cope with things.
Time management. Is crap. Sleep times are messed up. I want to sleep at about 11 latest, now its 11.30. Don't know what am I doing in the computer too at times. Watch video, listen to songs, talk talk talk in MSN, don't know what else. Never take the time out and learn more on video editing, clearing up my hard disk space. Always do homework last minute. Waste so much time blogging.. time is precious.

To sum up. I will be taking a break from movements training for about a week. Just to get my injuries settled. Then focus on restarting anew.
As always, I hope for a better week next week.

Back to strength training.

2009-01-29T22:09:00.003+08:00

Today I went to Buangkok for some training after school, which ended at 4pm. But I still managed to go train for about 1hr 30minutes, got back at 8pm. Which means today went by pretty fast, and I'm still blogging.
Was a good training, Buangkok spots are lovely, a few unfinished business to be nailed hopefully in a months time (where I plan to make a buangkok jam guys! look out for it). One is the wallpass that Zheeyang tried in Buangkok Horror. Then another is a huge sdc2lp which I'm pretty sure is nailable, I got quite closed to it. Filmed some stuffs today, will probably compile those snippets along with the old clips I still have into a small video, but I wanna get more clips in Tampines first. Things were alot easier then it were some time ago, being able to nail the sdc2p so easily, and the running precision (the one that Fred did a standing crane in his teaser) is so fucking easy...

Of course I've trained flips today, but don't think it was much of a productive flips training. I can officially say I got over the fear of my backflips, and my lache gainer fear is totally out now. I can whack lache gainers like nothing right now, they are indeed the most easiest of flips that I can think of. But I do want to work on them, like getting them really floaty and controlled or even do a lache 360 gainer, or lache reverse front, lache gainer precision... but not so soon. I can get over the fear of a backflip but not as easy as my lache gainer yet, because its much harder. I wanna get more floatier, cleaner form soon. As of now, my backflip looks absolutely terrible, but I can work on it. Frontflips still is uncontrolled, I need to learn how to tuck tighter man, in videos I can see my knees are still quite far away from my chest. Need to get used to them. One thing that I will start learning now is sideflips, I should just attempt them and hopefully landing them horribly.

I'll try my best to flip at least 10 backflips everyday right now, since its the flip that is relatively low impact and the flip that I need the most work on. I still have an awkward habit to twist alittle bit while doing that flip, and also I seem to go forward. And my tuck is sooo loose. Looks so ugly lol, especially with that low landing. Need to work on them definitely, as it is the basics of flips and I must have them good in my system before I progress to other flips like gainer, roundoff back, palmflip, wallflip, etc. Frontflip is still far from good too. Actually I'm repeating what I'm writing.. all I'm saying I'm going to focus much more in my flips. Full stop.

Next..
Like my title suggests. I'm getting back to proper strength training. I can see progress in my leg power especially in my movements, higher jumps, further precisions and etc. But my ultimate goal for this year (for legs) is definitely my 2x BW squats. Now its time to go back to what I used to be few months ago, quite strict diet, less movements, more strength training, starving myself with protein, good rest (sleep).
This strength training routine is definitely much more intense then the previous ones but I'll still try my best to get good results out of it. I can see myself struggling on the third week, its already the week where I'm going to be squatting my current personal record. I'll try to stick to the book as much as I can, but I'll listen to my body and lower the intensity if needs be. It's gonna be a tough routine, but thats how I'm going to work for my OAC as well. Pullups looks killer. 27kg x 3reps after week 9 of routine. 87kg x 3reps for squats. Thats an 11kg increase. I'm not sure whether I could stick to the weights stated on the book though.

My weight have been increasing as of late and I'm doubtful that it is muscle mass because of the food that I'm eating during CNY. Not a good thing. Need to stop eating those comfort food and indulge in protein-rich foods again. Tuna, chicken, peanuts, fish, chicken, egg, meat, CHICKEN!

Studies have been much more stressful recently.. falling back far behind in Chemistry but still trying my best to cope and balance studies with training. I'm glad I past my Amaths test but still need so much more practice on Trigonometry (got 2/11 for that portion which is fucking gay). Need to study.. but lazy to study.. but no choice.. what to do. School isn't too good as well. Don't really think I'm very sociable.. but whatever.

I got sudden inspiration to film cool stuffs and edit cool stuffs again, got ideas for my documentary already. Should start experimenting angles and shots, try putting my fanciful ideas for timelapse into work. Woohoo, filming. I feel like applying for direct admission with one of my self-made film.. I wonder if it is possible.

Listened to alot of new drum and bass tunes nowadays. Found out many hidden masterpieces. Been listening to them ever since. Drum and bass can't be compared to any other genre. I have one piece in mind that could very well be the song that I'll be using for my breakthrough video. Liquid Dnb ftw. Shalap.

Got many things to do, one month of 2009 is about to be finished, amazing how fast time flies, seriously. So still two goals in mind. Strength training and flips. I'll try to train on tuesdays flips light training and saturday movements (which include flips) quite intensive. Sunday and Thursdays will be rest and Mondays and Fridays are serious killers. Wednesday is a light strength training day.
Next week onwards, training will be much more stricter.

Some hope in my flips.

2009-01-25T00:29:00.002+08:00

Today I went for the Tamp Jam, quite a huge number of crowd turned out. Was quite happy with a few things, and not very for some things. I nailed SDC23rd bench at Dino rather easily, was consistent at Shino's sdc2p. Landed the lache2precision at northpark, nailed doublekong, rather nicely. Got over my fear in backflips. Done what was quite a goal for some time, low to high precision at Shino's ramp. Nailed bench to curb precision at castle. Nailed a precision to a rail in the catleap position at castle. Some improvements in my cat2cats but still uncontrolled as I can't really see where I'm going. Nailed a running crane at Shino's. Felt that my frontflips are much better and natural. And the biggest achievement for today, landed LACHE GAINER.

That was quite a number of achievements in just one day. But like said, some bad news as well. Felt tht the running crane at Shino's was too impactful but yet I still do them. Quite bad for my back, knees, feet. Still not used to the jumping up. I can't nail the castle running catleap now. Aerial is still crap now. Although there are some bad things, overall I think the achievements today outnumbered the bad things by alot.

I think I should really keep practicing my backflip. Just keep doing them everyday, everyday as in really everyday, no matter sore, at night or what. At least 10 backflips, and if possible more but not more then 20. Low repetitions, more on quality and clean technique and learning to get over the fear properly. Lache gainers as well, but since there isn't much bars lying around that are good to train on, I can't really train them everyday but I will want to nail them in school, if possible. I'll do those until a point I feel that my flips are good enough then I will proceed to roundoff backs, gainers, and start learning sideflip. I'm not gonna neglect my frontflip, they still have much brushing up to do and much more to meet my expectations, but then now my main priority will be my backflip. Once I'm settled down with my flips, I'll find time to work on others.

I was feeling really happy with my flips today because of the things I've nailed. I remembered lache gainer was something I was wanting to nail outside since the time I've nailed them in prime. Try to whack myself for a couple of times but in the end to no avail. But thanks to spotters Fred and Wen Kai, I've managed to land this move finally. Also thanks to Fagan and Ashton who forked out their effort to spot me in my backflip quite constantly. Happiness, I think this is the way I suppose to be. Frustration won't lead you to anywhere but suffering and the inability to execute flips. Fear is something that everyone has, to get over will take time. I hope probably tomorrow where I'm gonna do some backflips to get them under my system, I don't end up like Monday again. Gosh, I shouldn't have negative thoughts...

My Parkour is improving really well and I'm happy with that, now flips! Really need to practice them alot.

The jam is awesome as usual with alot of people coming and training together. Was so fucking happy that I've nailed those shits. Got a couple of good clips and I'm gonna start editing the PKSG: Unity video soon. Fred's sampler is going to be finished, Zhiyang's sampler should be done not too long from now as well. Changed my glass' lens Also I've seen the doctor finally for my skin, finish editing Ish's jam video and db's birthday jam, so I've cleared the clips quite alot, now approaching the holidays with only homework to worry about. Good to get over with things much.

My food intake nowadays have been better, but CNY coming so lets stuff myself with chocolate and sweets and biscuits and stuffs woohoo! Angpao money won't be so much as.. economic recession.. hais.

Tomorrow I'm probably going to gym early for some light strength training, so I can eat before reunion dinner. About 12, eat lunch around 2pm, 4pm like that go there and drill my backflip and maybe frontflip as well, wonder if I can find a place to do lache gainer. After that come back for reunion dinner and at night drill handstands. Monday will be doing some flips practice yet again at night probably after visiting. I need to be consistent in my flips practices, purely flips for about 45minutes. Tuesday if got time I'll train movements with flips but light movements concentrating highly on flips but if I'm going for visiting and shit then probably do the same as what I did on Monday. Wednesday Strength training, try lache gainers in school... Thursday movements practice and flips of course, I wanna go buangkok again. Friday last strength training before I start my trength training routine.

Hope school isn't gonna be tough. Needa finish homework by tomorrow. Hectic schedule tomorrow.

Lol my blog posts are always long, and I can go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

Not going so well...

2009-01-23T23:06:00.003+08:00

As title suggests..

Start of the week on Monday was totally crap, my mood was totally ruined on that day, feel really frustrated. Guess what? Flips again. I lost my backflip, like for the 10th time. I've lost the feeling of whacking my body up and over, something that I used to have in the past. But after that one bail, things got worse. I wonder when can I be able to pass the mental block fully. If things goes on this way, theres no way where I can get back into my flipping basics. Theres still plenty of flips to learn after it. I don't know whether can I even get to satisfactory satandards by the end of this year. Especially when my training towards flips are really lazy, undetermined, and slipshoddy. Breakthrough video next year, will it be? Sideflips are not even there yet. I got so many more flips to start working on. But I'm not even working on what I already could do.

I got nothing to say about my pathetic flips. Really. I've been thinking to myself that, if I'm getting so frustrated over something, its no point learning them really, as the whole point in training is to really have fun. I'm not really have fun, I'm so frsutrated after almost every flipping session. But yet again, thinking of the goals I have for life, c'mon I'm not past the first stone, and I'm already giving up. I can't give up no matter what, I have to stick to my goals. I guess this will be a testament on how much perseverance and resilience I have. And flips are indeed nothing but practice and practice and practice. The starting is always the hardest. Once I overcome those physical and mental barriers, flips will start to be fun, and progressing will be at least much easier.

To be honest I'm really steadfast in my goals in terms of movements but when it comes to studies or something else, wow my determination is rather low.

Strength training. My routine looks really fucking tough. I've been training at weights really low to 90% 1rm especially for squats, because I find it hard to peak up. I can say that my bench press and deadlifts are rather easy as I haven't totally push them to my furthest. Squats are really taking alot out of me. 70kg squats can be fucking tiring and my form isn't very satisfactory. I'm not sure how am I gonna survive through week 4 which is indeed the killer week, especially the friday where I will be peaking to 80kg squats x 5. Week 3's Monday is already fucking tough. Not sure how am I gonna survive those killer weeks. But if I really cannot do those lifts well, I will lower the intensity of the lifts by all means. I still got 11 months to get my 2x bw squats and OAC.

Current PRs (and aims) :
Squats - 76kg x 5 (no increase, but i hope to get to 90kg by midyear)
Bench Press - 50kg x 5 (can do more though, but good enough, should be able to hit 60kg after the end of this routine)
Deadlifts - 75kg x 5 (good increase, can do more as well, i'll take this lift easy)
Pullups - 25kg x 3, 30kg x 1 (ok ok increase, hoping to bring the 30kg x 1 to 30kg x 5 by sometime before midyear)

Movements training was ok. Or rather much more enjoyable and decent. Wednesday was focussed more on precision repetitions which did went quite well. Repetitions are indeed the best way to improve one's movements in a whole, but theres some stuffs regarding that. Muscle memory is not something that is easily understood. The more you do, the more used you are to it. It doesn't mean the better you get to it. If you do a backflip like shit alot of time, it will forever be like shit. So everytime you do a move you have to focus on doing it well and good all the time, so everytime you repeat you must focus hard, and not chiong. Don't do too many repetitions, not only will it cause fatigue which in turn cost your form, it will also put unwanted stress on our joints. And if you train in Bishan, unwanted wear and tear for shoes. So yeah, I did too much repetitions actually. Shouldn't be doing that, something to keep in mind for the next practice. I'm more confident with my precisions now, and I can stick them pretty well.

Thursday I didn't train much at all. Went to film stuffs for Zhee Yang, practiced my SDC which really still up to my expectations, judging that I've nailed Shino's SDC since June 08. I've yet to nail them consistently, haven't been consistent at all. Its not nearly consistent at all.. I want to be able to nail Shino's SDC2LP as consistently as possible. So needa keep going there and practice. Didn't feel like training flips because I will know that I will feel frustrated after that, and wasn't in the mood. Will train flips tomorrow though.

Bought a new hose, same model though, Nike Darts VI, 80 bucks only, they last for a year (provided you don't train frequently at Bishan), good grip, comfortable, just the right amount of cushion (enough to feel your landing and provided cushion for your feet), looks nice to me as well. It is really worth buying, at least to me. I hope this could last me till next year March. For now, I wanna season the shoe and soon I can start practicing wallpasses.

I watch an LBC video with Tutu, seems like I possess good amount of influence and I seem to be the setter of trends to come, seeing that my movements are being followed and emulated by others. Not only movements, video editing as well. Originality is something that eveyrone should have. Find your own way, develop your own ideas, thats what makes you, you. Don't just be a sheep a copy and follow blindly on everything. I'm not saying its wrong to copy people... I'm just saying try opening your mind to see other things as well. I can think it in another way, everyone likes my ideas in my movements so yeah. I'm not saying I don't copy though.

Tomorrows the jam for the newcomers, I wonder how large a crowd it will be, so it is gonna be hard for me to train my stuffs, especially flips, newcomers always tend to have the wrong idea of flips, and just wanna chiong progression. But whatever. Like said earlier, I wanna practice the SDC2LP at shino, and probably climbups. Repetitions. I will teach others as well, but I won't expect too much.

Can't say much else, studies, ain't very confident of how my tests results will be. I'm ok with Physics and Maths, the rest is abit hard for me. In school things took turns of going up and downs.. but whatever, I really shouldn't overreacting to stuffs like this.

Off to bed.

Yet another bail.

2009-01-16T16:35:00.003+08:00

Was training with Ista Ho, the australian traceur who visited us yesterday, was an incredible meet. He have been to England, France, some other countries and the bigger parts of South East Asia. He meet the UK community and wow how I envy him that he have talked to the world's best and all the other big names. When will it be my turn? Time will come, time will come. No matter what, I must go to Lisses and England one day.

Although the day was fun and all, my training wasn't that good... lotsa bad landings, impacted myself alot, didn't managed to nail much stuffs, and needa alot of tries to get things right, small bails before one big bail to end up the day for me.. was a really sucky day in terms of training to be honest. Slipped on the grass, hands slipped, hesitated, ran too fast, fell head over heels, landed hip first onto concrete flooring, bruising it and making me unable to walk upstairs without feeling pain and much less jumping and taking landings. Fuck might be a whole week out for training as I can see now. Time to acclimate to harsher strength trainings then, since its not far away from the routine.

Much people saying bailing is 'normal' and it happens, they are a part and parcel of Parkcore. Some even said it is OK to bail. Sure it does happens, but definitely not all the time, most people bail too. One thing is, some guys hardly bail if they are focused all the time, careful and don't push their limits. I consider myself luckily not doing it at the other side where theres a bigger drop to stairs and if I were to bail there, thats it. Bishan Horror. Yeah thankfully my bail isn't as bad as xaviersilfa. But I shouldn't take it for granted, something that I'm trying to do since last year... I should do my bestest to avoid injuries of any cost. I'm bailing small stuffs too regularly, which is stupid.

As usual, this week I hardly did worked on my goals. Really sucky week in all in terms of movements training, but got a 25kg x 3reps pullups (1/2 BW pullup lol) and 30kg x 1rep pullup(sucky). Was ok with it and I think I am ready to hit the new routine soon. Due to my injury(ies) I probably won't be doing much movements till it gets fine. Need to start working on my flips man, its really not going to help if I sit down here and do nothing, or just continue working on my strengths not my weaknesses. I don't have much time left, so I'd better start working. There's no rush though..
Handstands.. seriously need to work on that. It supposed to be a goal to be achieved last year. But now at 2009 I don't think I am anywhere close..

Other points of interests..
I wonder how many people understand what they are saying and proclaiming to other people. The world is indeed really ignorant. When it comes to topics like strength training, dieting, sports generally, all kinds of craps are being thrown around. I like to see the old aunties and fat people go jogging and think that they are very healthy and they think they lose fats fast and all, teenagers telling me to jump more to grow taller, don't do weight training as in stunts growth, weight training makes you slow, and bulky and nonsense, it always happens.. people also think just by eat fruits and veggies, they think that eat so healthily. Worse, vegetarians eat all kinds of food but meat and fishes, fucking delusionized fools.. Worse is yet to come, when people ask for conditioning tips, they tell they everything but strength training. All endurance bastards. OH MY LEGS FEELS LIKE JELLY, SIA LAH GOOD WORKOUT. TOMORROW CONFIRM SORE! *brag brag* I used to think like that. In school, guys telling you how to get better 2.4km timing, answer = run 4.8km. Wow fucking dumbasses. Sometimes what make sense to your eyes, doesn't make sense in reality. Myths and rumours floating everywhere, I've only listed 3% of all sports myths and craps. It's all society's fault, blame them.

Read Blane's FAQ post. I like the part about what is his aims for trainings.
1) Avoid Injuries (the reason why I mentioned about avoiding injuries earlier on)
2) Repeat stuffs until it because fucking easy.
2nd point is true. Really true. I should place more emphasis on repetition in my training. Just keep doing them till it gets easier and easier. But when fatigue builds, I stop, to avoid bad imprints in my muscle memory. The reason why Daniel Ilabaca, David Belle, PhilyDee does their stuffs with effortless, near perfection techniques and consistency is mainly because of that - repetition on every movement.

I think I should lower the intensity of the movements that I'm doing now, place my priority on nailing the stuffs that I already can more comfortably, and more controlled and consistent. As I feel that nowadays I'm putting alot of pressure in my joints (knees, ankles, back even (yet another fact most people don't know, how much stress is placed in knees and back while running, landing.)). I just wanna improve my flips and learn new ones, for PK, just repeat and repeat the stuffs I could already do, aim for perfection. Whats more, now I'm going into the strength training phase, I will be cutting down alot on movements training, so I should emphasize flips in my trainings on Saturdays. Aim for repetition, alot of them, and keep everything low.

Just something that I want to point out. I feel like stopping to train with the others for the after Zahid's Tamp jam, and I decided to screw the weekly training sessions as I'm not sure how am I gonna fit my timetable into them, don't think I have the resposibility to do that. I wanna develop my skills and stuffs myself, mainly because as this discipline is very much an individual kind of matter, I should train the stuffs that I do for myself irregardless of the people around me. I feel that it is much more easier to concentrate in training alone. I will just meet people that I wanna meet once in awhile. Lastly, I like to give people suprises, working in secret is fun, the advantages of training alone as well. People can start realizing your progression. But really, thats not my main point.

I felt that I can improve my video skills much more, mainly on my camera movements and angles. I thought of bringing my timelapse to a whole new, more professional level. Editing too, a more professional feel in my editings. I needa get a wide lens soon, also I should think of clever shots artistically not those very cliche movements which is very easily imitated. I'm far from being a pro filmmaker/cameraman/editor, but I should really start working on getting better in them too. First major project of the year, Ashton's showreel.

Studies are getting more stressful at the moment. With two tests next week, one being an Amaths test. I have forgotten alot of the topics in there and I'm not sure how am I gonna cope with the test. I can't fail this test. I seriously should start revising and stop wasting time procrastinating. I needa stay back after school for lab practical on Mondays. Still not coping very well socially but yeah I guess I shouldn't dwell on that much. Chinese is still very lame. I was thinking of trying to apply for direct admission to poly with my portfolio. Chinese New Year is coming in about a week's time!

I needa get a new shoe as well. I hope I can get try to find a website to get an Kalenji but if I can't, I'm gonna settle for another Nike Darts.

Last but not least, I shouldn't talk so much if I couldn't put what I've said into actions.

Not working towards goals.

2009-01-11T21:01:00.003+08:00

Didn't really train much this week.
All I know that I should really focus on one thing right now. FLIPS. I don't know what happened, ever since the bail from one training session quite some time ago, where I jumped up and freaked out in mid air, from then on I have this fear of rotating backwards. I don't know whats up with my backflip right now, and generally with most of my flips especially flips going backwards, I seem to have so much fear on them EVEN THOUGH I've nailed them before, and I pretty sure I can do it, just the fear restricts me from executing them. It's kinda frustrating to see that you have spent like 15minutes of your time to try to get rid of the fear and in the end, you found yourself wasting your own time. What's more, everytime you gotten rid of the fear (I did so in NYE jam with spotters), after awhile it will be gone, because I didn't kept practicing it. Then I have to keep relying on spotters or gym (which is currently not the option anymore because of repeatedly being kicked out of the gym, and because of that I hate Prime and I am never gonna go there again).

Other flips aren't that good either. I'm able to land aerials on concrete quite easily (although suckily, but still landed) on NYE jam, but ever since then, I've never been able to land them for god knows why. Frontflips aren't that controlled yet but still its the best flip I can do, of course alot of improvements can still be made. Yeah quite sadly these are the only few flips that I can do, I wanna get sideflips soon. As long as I can land an aerial I'm fine with it, I won't really be training it till its like damn goood. Right after I get my backflip well and consistent, I will be training for roundoff backflip, wallflips, and gainer. I do wanna train for slant gainers and corkscrew, backhandspring for my tumblings, and then progressing to twists and shizzle, and the other flips when I come to it, but priority is getting the basics strong and make them til 2nd nature.

Come to think of it, my one day goals consists of a couple of flips (or combos with flips), one of them being the double backflip. But now, I'm not even working hard towards the basics of my flips, I don't know what to actually say now, I hope to really get rid of the fear and really practice and drill my backflips hard, then I can work towards my harder goals. Sometimes I can get really demoralized and think about how many times I lost my flips or ain't making much progress out of them, maybe I'm just not cut out for flipping. It's really irritating to lose a flip. But I'm not the guy that will give up, as no matter how long it will for me to get flips into my system, I will train hard for it. As for everything, the starting is always the hardest, once you are good at it, it will be fun.

Enough of flips. But still something that is related to the topic title. Yes, handbalancing. Actually I'm getting the hang of the balancing now, but still far from getting it consistent. I think I have the strength to hold the handstand now, so I will be training to be able to balance it, which is my goal for my handstands at the moment. Thing is, I'm not even working on it, even though I got so much time that I can spend on it, just at home. Actually the main probelms of my balancing is my posture when holding my handstand and when I underbalance. I just can't seem to get them right. Another thing that is still related to this topic - twists, 360 precisions. Nowadays I'm losing interest in them, don't know why but then I still would like to be able to do a controlled 360 precisions, at least seeing my landing and all, but not necessary super far and controlled those kinds.

Ok now for other stuffs. I think I'm getting much more comfortable with my dashes on higher obstacles and on rails. And I think I should start getting palmspins on rails man, at least be able to do them. Been practicing my jumps, jumps onto higher obstacles, standing jump over rails and stuffs like that, just to engage with jumping power. No point being strong but not able to transfer them into speed, which is the more important of strengths. My lazy vault can go quite far right now, great achievement. Getting used to it now.

Weight training, now that I got abit of clue what my workout will be like, I should start working on my lifts now, to get ready for the routine. Its not going to be easy, seeing that only 4 weeks into I will be setting a new PR, and that would be really backbreaking. I will see how it goes. I'm also thinking of what will I do after the routine (which is 9 weeks), but I think I should only consider that when I'm like around the 7th week of it. I decided that I will start this routine on the first week of Feb (mondays, wednesdays, fridays), hopefully this time round I would not miss any workouts at all. Back to the times where I did my routine. Spamming gym workouts to get so fucking strong, then see my progression in my jumps, just a incredible feeling. Time to watch the food I eat and start doing lesser movements training to aid recovery. Probably be training movements only on saturdays, while train flips in school whenever possible. Needa get it 2nd nature.

Nowadays I got motivated to train for my OACs. I did 20 pullups in one go, although I think its not in a very strict form, but I think its just something I did for fun. My right arm OAC negative is pretty smooth, while my left arm is pretty much the same only that I think I still can't control the bottom range of motion. I thought I am close to my OAC the other time, but after doing one attempt, I realize how sucky I were. First thing first, work on my weighted pullups! I wanna hit 25kg x 5reps! Talking about that, my deadlift hit 65kg, not yet a record, as I'm gonna push my benchpress for abit more, deadlift for about 75kg if possible, and try to do a 25kg pullup for a few reps and see how much I can go. I wanna do a semi-peak to test my ability for abit.

About my thoughts on certain people, although they are nice to be with in person, I'm not sure how far they go in terms of mindset and attitude towards their training. How far will they go? How disciplined and dedicated are they, will they train alone or only when theres jams? Pushing so far beyond limits, for what reasons? I don't know, I wonder how long of the friends I am with right now, last. Will I still be training with them 5 years down the road... I'm pretty sure I will be.
And about people in my school. Still seem to be uninteractive with my friends, but whatever... I think I'll just slowly make up to it. I posted my video on facebook, just for fun actually, just to have a video in facebook. But didn't know that so much of my friends will realize it, I hope it doesn't get spread too much, I don't wanna be bugged constantly in school, or too well known. Actualy think its quite a bad move, but hopefully it attracted the 'right' people, that won't spread the news so much. I think now that my subscribers are at 143 (55 new subscribers since release), I'm starting to get more and more famous now, which is my first step, remember about the statement I wrote some time ago? Yeah. Quite happy about that. 2.4k views in 2 weeks. Great achievement for me. Hoping that it will overtake my march 08 views in one month.

I think I will make weekly blog post that will probably sum up my thoughts in the days before.

A bit of my past.

2009-01-07T19:59:00.003+08:00

Well I have been thinking back, my years in primary school (nothing much here), and more importantly the times in sec1 and sec2. I'm not very old yet, so I might not have much to share since I only lived for this long, and theres still so much more experiences yet to come.

Primary school life is not very entertaining, all I know is that I'm very rebellious, fights with people occurs often, got into trouble much, was hanging out with a couple of friends who are now those typical Chinese gangsters (they've changed alot, like everyone). I don't have much really good friends from primary school, thats why I don't go back to school on Teacher's day or hang out with those people. Quite a boring life I led during then. It is probably because of the fact that when we are young, our minds aren't mature enough to understand the stuffs going on at our very life, so dumb that we are almost mechanically controlled to do all those stuffs that we are doing during those years, which led many people into sedentary lifestyles in the teenage years. Another reason why I didn't say much here is because I can't remember much.

Secondary school life was much more entertaining, as it happened much more recently. Secondary 1 was probably the worse of all the years, so far. Really hectic year as I can recall. Well what happened at the earlier stages of the year was that I get to know new faces, made some good ones, some ok-ok ones, and some stupid ones. At the start of the year, like Feb, I already got a pink form because of fighting with some noobface. He did attempted to throw my bag down from the 4th storey, so what do you expect me to do? But I was fucking proud of owning a weakling, and brag about how I headbutted him and shit. Well at that time I was still fucking stupid, don't know what has gotten into me. Worse was yet to come, in one point of time, after the June holidays, and one of those days I got fed up with a couple of guys, and I decided to write a mini-encyclopedia of the people in our class, and write about them (actually writing their bad points). I write about everyone, even those innocents one, write until like wtf, insulted them and all, yet still have the cheek to send everyone. Guess what, not long after, one day suddenly everyone turned their backs against me. As you can infer, they hated me because of what I've done, and ignored me in the process, which I think I rightfully deserve. I deleted the encyclopedia soon after the incident, but was quite a bad move.. I wonder if I can get that back.
Before that, I can remember making a class forum near April, then I was fucking stupid and retarded, wrote like one thousand bullshit, even writing my own novel about some dumb shit that I can't recall. And I and some others didn't really like this wannabe, this retarded act cute, twit, egotistical retard, and while he was doing all the things that 'made' him look good, I started the fire, to flame him like fuck publicly in the forums. The feud that continued for a long time. A fucking long time to be exact, because its still ongoing right now, as in the dislike is still there but no longer in any contact. But that guy is really retarded, and from his blog you can see he is fucking emo because he got dumped like 4 times for liking some girls that never liked him. I don't know, don't wanna drift off topic.

Yeah back to the case of the miniencyclopedia. My closest friends shunned me for a long time. I got into even more trouble by fighting back. Mockery and ostracizing taking place everyday. I feel so much misery going to school at those times. Friends of mine tried to lessen the hate but theres this irritating guy which probably still hates me until now continued and added oil to the fire. Everytime I played soccer, the other guys will make fun of me, like for example kicking a ball, the guys sarcastically said "WOW, NICE KICK." and stuffs like that. I went on almost forever.
Back in those times I was totally insensitive. I was fucking cocky, even some point in the encyclopedia I did state something like, "If you did feel insulted, good for you, these are facts, so get over with it." I was left like that for a very long time but I didn't really care about it as soon the hate starts to dissolve.

Then near the end of the year, September, I got a stead. Ok before that back to April/May or something, I can't quite recall. I got a stead. Shes still in my class for 4 consecutive years, each years she got more prettier, serious shit man, but whatever. Yeah that is like my first 'proper' stead, during Primary school I had one that lasted 2 years, which is stupid, because we don't even know what is love. LOL. Whats more, after awhile, like 2months, I broke with her for some fucking dumb reason, kinda like no mood, lose interest or what. And I broke up with her in the best way possible. Was out with friends at Dhoby Ghaut to play LAN or something, probably Maplestory (yayayaya), then after that, I discussed my thoughts to my friends and then I decided to break, then I call her up, and break up with her infront of my friends. I can't imagine how fucking dumb, stupid and retarded I was that time. Seriously man. Whats more, I still said bad stuffs about the 'relationship', saying that it was a waste of time, what a waste of a stead, this kind of things. But luckily this shit did get cleared up.
Then another stead in September, this time it is rather 'more serious'. Wow I still remember the times here, was really tiring. Firstly I got her to say yes to me when I 'confessed', was because near midnight theres another guy who wanted her to be her stead too, and both of us left her in a 'dilemma' kind of shit. Apparently she HAD to say yes to either me or him, and she couldn't back out. Thats why I got her (nothing to be proud of, now that I think of it). Theres more other nonsense, calling each other laopo, laogong. FUCK! SERIOUSLY HOW RETARDED. Everytime ending a convo, BYE ILY MUACKS. damn, I was even more retarded then Zhiyang in the past (but still cleverer). Ok, things got on like this, everytime after school stay back with her and my other friends, blah blah and other cock. Then suddenly a twist to the tale, I got angry with my friend (which is my stead's best friend), 'accusing' her of revealing my secret to my friends, saying what betray betray me. I can't tell what exactly happened, but then its something 'serious'. So my stead (omg.. why..) got angry with me too, but treated like nothing happened for the time being. What happened next which is still a kinda big thing in my life, was that while playing basketball after school, this guy who was those stupid typical gangsters, was being very irritating, flirting with my stead and all, so of course naturally I will feel abit jealous. He was slapping her and all infront of me (he likes her obviously), then while playing I slapped him back just for fun, lightly, just to poke some fun. But he got so pussily pissed and shit, and he wanted fight back but I don't know what happened that made him turned back for that day. Later that night, my stead told me about those incident and was like also quite pissed. Blah blah, then he decided to settle the case face to face, he called him gang members along too. Blah and blah, in the end they just want to fight, fight in a 3minutes whack each other then after that, case was settled. Of course the other people along with me was 'worried' and did not want this to happen, that gangster guy still wanted to fight despite her telling him not to, which tells her alot about what that guy meant to her... so yeah. I was fucking weak that time so I just fight like some pussy, although it seems that I owned him. Blah blah then for about weeks we did not talk to each other. And in the end she talked to me and asked me whether you wanna break up as its very stressful in some way or another to both of us. In the end I said its up to her, and she said yes (then still ask me for what sia, just say break lah). But from then, I never engage in any relationship or steads which is unlike the people nowadays who just stead, fuck and go.

I've written this much of shit and I'm only done with SEC 1. Don't worry secondary 2 is much easier. I hanged out with my friends since start of the year, most of the are the malay ones (who are in Phantokour), was alot of fun with them because theres no disputes or conflicts at all. Just one day we watched Yamakasi together somehow, then we went down to slack abit, in the end tried to imitate the yamakasi guys. Blah blah, this year is the start of change, sort of, now that I'm introduced to PK. Yayayaya, then we formed a team named phantokour and made fucking stupid video that is still in youtube... somehow. But yeah for most people, we started out as a poser, but then yeah I've definitely learnt my lesson. Other then that, My CCA was horrific for me. I kept going to it on and off, because of the people inside. Mostly malays, always made fun of me and Parcool, was seriously irritating, feeling was similar to what happened the year before. But other then that, nothing much happened. Just sometimes the guy who I've mentioned earlier on, still kept pissing me off time and time again, but all I can say I just led this year nothing out of ordinary, in school that is. In PK of course I've learnt alot more things, meeting PKSG and introduced to strength training at the end of year, definitely was good. I was really happy to be transferred to a class that is free of those irritating people I had last year.

Secondary 3 was the year where I grew so much more mature, although I know I'm still fucking childish and irritating at times. This year I grew even more serious into PK. I did not interact much with the friends I have, just focus more on PK and studies in a way. I did well for my studies this year. I can't think of much big event happening this year in school. Only that around September I got really angry with this teacher, which is SADLY the same teacher that is teaching me Chinese this year, again. Thats why I got no mood to pay attention or do her work during her lessons. She gave me a pink form for no good reason, just because I bounced ball in class which distracted the whole class (WOW!), and of course taking back whats mine (something that she confiscated), because I need to pass that work up on that day itself. She's fucking unreasonable. But whatever. And of course the trip to Vietnam in mid year. I think most of the things happened this year is already written down in my Year in Review.

Currently, living the life as a Sec 4, just seems like a blink of an eye had me right now studying for my O levels already. So fucking fast. Yeah like what I said, Chinese is the main probelm right now. I kept procrastinating on Chinese homeworks. Theres test just yesterday (and more next week, one POA test and one Amaths test coming right up, fuck man) on a book that I didn't buy because I hate Chinese and I see no point buying it, thats why I flunked the test and still have to do a retest. Now that school have affected my plans, as theres Science Practical after school on mondays, and on some Thursdays there will be SFL till after school, and all the other shit and nonsense. Also time is flying so fast now that one day have past after another. Haven't been training properly actually this year as there's no proper time to do so yet. But will do so tomorrow at night. I have been neglecting handstands practice so I will do them later. My diet have been consisting of alot of fats and calories recently, and I suddenly stopped eating tuna, so right now I should reset my nutrition back to what was in the past during my 5x5 training days. Talking about that, I'm about to start back on squats, CNY will be something that might hinder my training so I will start the routine proper on the first week of February. Need to start practicing flips, to get really used to them.
School life at the moment, I just felt that I'm very unsociable. Usually when I with someone, I have no topics to talk about, and that feels really awkward. So usually when I'm walking back home and I see my classmates I will tend to evade because I don't even know what to say after saying Hi. This happens also when I'm sitting next to someone that I'm not very close with too, especially more if its a girl. Quite sad ah. I don't think I'm that much of a importance in the class too, kind of like those extra extra guys who just makes the class 40 students. Like for example if I never come to school, no one will really care. Things like that. Need to start interacting with them more, because at the end of the day, friends ARE important.

Thats right, this as stated, is my life blog. So I started to blog more on my life rather than just PK all the time. My second blog is more random and craps of everyday life, so go there to expect humour and nothing else.

What a long post this is.

The start of 2009.

2009-01-01T21:00:00.003+08:00

First things first. My latest video.
CP: In Motion. The video was indeed a hit judging from the huge positive response, hitting 1k views in one day. 700 views in 20 hours. 4 GLOBAL honors from its first day. I did put alot of work into it, editing wise, and asked the guys to helped me film stuffs, I'm happy with the content. I tried to sync my movements and editing stuffs in, was planning the video to be more of a cinematography reel but since I'm the guy being shown doing movements I can't possibly showcase my filming skills as I'm not handling the camera. And as usual, the timelapse are my signature, they the best way to display art in videos. I think I've setted a new standard in PKSG videos. My breakthrough video in 2010, will be THE breakthrough video. This video already gained a good hit and 23 new subscribers (at the moment), I wonder how much more will the real video get. Expect it to be better then this, as I put editing skills and directing skills to the test together with my hopeful achievement of my one-day-goals.

Ok other things.
SCHOOL reopens tomorrow. I hate school well I don't see much purpose to it. Because Singapore is so competitive, without that fucking piece of paper you can't get good jobs, I guess we all have no choice, lan lan suck thumb. What to do? Singapore sucks... I think the studies are for our own good, and if we refused to do our homework it is OUR probelm. The most the teachers can do is to tell us that but no point scolding because it is up to us whether we want to do it anot. The grades will reflect how much we study and shit. Oh well I guess another reason for going to school is interaction. Sadly I don't have a truly good friend, so yeah, as they are the typical singaporeans I can't do anything but to just try to blend in.

Talking about friends made me think back. Ashton's birthday party was celebrated with traceurs. It tells me that traceurs carries a huger bond then outside friends... wow. I'm pretty sure many people feels this way, as we keep training together the bond builds on, sharing the same interest and goals. The reason why I let only my close traceurs friends is because of the fact that they understand what I am doing and stuffs. I've yet to find a friend outside PK that properly understands what I do, they usually think of many other crappy stuffs although some respects it and doesn't mock at me whatsoever... I just hope to have a closer rapport between some of my class/schoolmates. But still, as I'm prepared to expect typical Singaporeans will act stupidly, I guess I like to keep my training undercover and just try to be normal friends with people in school.. oh well.

2010 will be my breakthrough year. With the release of my video in plan, and travelling to UK and/or Lisses. Wait, travelling, that surely means money right? How am I gonna be supposed to earn/save so money for that? Obviously saving up.. but then with people like my mother keep taking my money, it makes this alot harder. I hope she don't take my ang pao money, and also return half of what she took (she took 1000bucks+ I'm only asking for 500 back, all this is my money). Whole point is I just need to save up money to travel..

2009, whats so special about 2009? I wonder what will be ahead of me this year. What obstacles and challenges I will be facing, what achievements and milestones will it hit. As I know this year I will concentrate more on flips, and just be more comfortable with my movements, and consistent in them. Those are points in general that I will striving for this year. Studies wise, just do my best and work hard for O levels. Strength training will definitely boost my strength and power, will be doing this till I hit my 2x BW squats goal and OAC! Must work hard as of now.

January... as much as I hate going to school, we all have no choice so.. yeah. This month there Chinese New Year, something to look forward to as we will get more ang poa money and of course time out from stupid school. I'm enjoying the time out of school as much as possible, school sucks, but... hais. Just try to make the most out of schooltime during recess, try to train more like my flips to get them second nature. One more thing in mid Jan, the australian traceur Ista Ho will be visiting Singapore. I've seen his skills in videos and I think he is quite good but doesn't matter much actually, hope to have some fun time while training with him. Sucks that school is on that day so it will be quite tight but I'm sure I can find time.

I should be planning for my workout routine to start the new year and it will start soon, hopefully it won't clash with CNY so I'll try to put it at the last week of this month. From what I can see it will be alot tougher so I should be ready to up the intensity of my training just to get back on form. As safety is more concerned now, I should really polish up my form so yeah, must start polishing it.

Videos I will work on this year - documentary. Probably thats it. Will be working on other people videos starting with DARKMURAI first. Fred's and Ashton's should come short after followed by the rest like Dblucy, Stan, hopefully JY when his shoulder is fully recovered. Not too sure about the rest. This is a time where I can work on my filming and editing yet again haha. Will be working on the NYE jam video tomorrow when I come back from gym training, hopefully I get it done by then.

Oh well, I'm gonna go off and soon I will feel myself awakened in the early morning preparing to go school. 2 months past - just like that.

New Years Resolution.

2008-12-29T01:37:00.004+08:00

I've been thinking about the things I want to do next year. I can see my progress for this year, just this year alone, its remarkable. If I were to work towards my goals and have a clear mind of what to aim for, probably my progression will be faster, and go the right direction. And since its my OLevel year, I probably can't train as much as I want to, so I would just want to get alot stronger by training in the gym as thats the only place I can train. Thats the main focus of the year (other then studying), is to get alot alot stronger.

So yeah, strength training is my priority. Goals for it - break the 2x BW squats milestone and work up to a OAC (for both arms). Those are the main goals, most important goals. The other goals are subjective, of course I want my lifts to improve, but then I have no specific numbers for it.

Also the second priority next year is working on my flips. I always wanted to flip, but I never trained them seriously. Its like I kept procrastinating when I told myself to work on flips. I don't know why, its either because I lack motivation to train for them, or I'm still not too used to flipping and fear keeps pulling me away. Whatever it is, I want to be able to move in all kinds of way, and flips are one type of movements that I aspire to do. I really don't go out of my comfort zone much, always sticking to pharkcore and SDCs which are my strengths. I need to work on the things I suck at, so as to get better and used to them. I want to at least get the basics into my system. Backflip, frontflip especially, then work my way to the other higher level movement. I hope to just get every opportunity to practice my flip during recess in school. I need to get those flips into my muscle memory, like my parkour movements. And the only way to do that is to keep repeating them.

Other movements that I want to work on and that is out of my comfort zone is handbalancing. I do want to be able to do a good solid handstand, being able to control my handstands whether it is staying still and walking about, and can save it when it is out of balance 95% of the time. Get to do some handstand presses, and be flexible enough on my wrist and hamtrings and strong hip flexors to do l-seats to handstand. I'll also be working on bodyweight strength feats so as to not be just strong with weight. Also, 360 precisions and catleaps. Just get used to twisting and have control in midair too. Of course bar tricks, reverse vault for distance, palmspins, railwork and all this goes.

Now you get my MSN personal message - twisting (360s), invertions (handstands), rotations (flips).

Next year will be the year where I get alot stronger and more better in my flips (or freerunning, whatever it is). I want to keep drilling the moves that I'm weak and scared in, be consistent in the stuffs in my past videos or moves that I can already do. Its not gonna be easy, but I have no choice but to work hard if I want to be able to do stuffs in 2010. And this year I could also rest abit from Parkour and work more on flips, so there will be lesser impacts to my body.

Sadly reading my training diary for the goals I wrote to achieve by the end of this year, I didn't achieve much. 2x BW squats deadlifts, wow I can't believe I was so ambitious. But next year, I really hope I can hit that, as long as my weight stays below 55kg. I got straight armed climbups, but didnt got planche en force or 1/2BW pullups (I actually could but I haven't tried so I wouldn't say I could). Didn't get handstands too. My flips wasnt consistent. But I do know how to do a variety of lifts. The other goals are mostly how I see my training, like stop being regretful after training, to be more sensible and self controlled. I'm not confident enough to say a yes so I think it is a no. This shows how my goals are too ambitious and mostly because I never work hard enough to it. I should start making sensible, realistic goals.

Oh well its like 4 more days away from the reopening of school, and that really really sucks, I can't believe how fast time flies, days goes by like nothing, hais, O levels are coming soon, so I should really work hard in my studies, I don't want to regret in the future. I hope the year ahead would be a wonderful one.

My new years resolution - focus more on studies, focus more on flips, focus more on gyming. And to be a better person overall.

I'm gonna use this blog as a personal blog from now on, I don't really care about the other blog anymore. Anything else out of PK that I want to crap about, it will be here.. this is my life blog.

Year in Review

2008-12-24T22:04:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna write a review of the year 2008, looking back at this year, month by month, and conclude it in the end, discussing about the goods and bads, the obstacles I've been through, achievements and downfalls, not only in PK, but in studies, families, life in a whole. The following craps might sound, like crap to you, but you think I care?

January
Can't remember much for the first few months, but PK wise I've did wisen up alot, expose myself to more stuffs. Also, I can remember I struggled like fuck in my studies, LIKE FUCK. I got 0 for my Amaths test out of 21. Chinese struggled throughout.

February
I think I did about a month of 50 repetitions of my catleaps, precisions, vaults, after that month I felt tremendous improvement. Proved to me repetitions really works, and thinking back, why am I not repeating the stuffs that I'm doing. I think the real reason why my SDC is damn good is because of the number of time I've practiced them. I really can't remember much else, this feels like so long ago but its actually only 10 months..

March
I made a video this month which proved to be something that gotten me some recognition. The video is currently the most viewed video of mine, and the video of the end of this year that I'm gonna make is hopefully gonna crash that. 2010 breakthrough video would own all of my videos combined, thats my goal. Ok this month I felt alot of improvement which can be seen in the video. Practiced alot of runs which was the highlight of the video. All I can say my studies is still crap at this point.

April and May
Training goes on as usual. This few months are probably the most mundane of ALL months.. I don't know anything that happened here, except my exams for May, which I think I did reasonably well.. Let me check my old blog post.. lol.
Ok actually this month I suddenly found my way, and realize I don't practice PK, but L'art du displacement.. And of course the 17th and 18th Jam.. Amazing jam with Qayyim and the other guys, one of the most funnest jam ever.. Bought a training diary. I can't remember much else. Whatever.

June
I went to Vietnam for the first week of my June Holidays, memorable experience, first time on the plane, first time overseas. Came back, I felt very moodless to train, not sure why. My skills are still there definitely, I don't think I'm rusty, but lose motivation. I was planning to make a video, so filmed stuffs throughout the holidays. The holidays was a really quick one, but one crapped happened before July started. I die die wanted to get the wallpass at simei for the video in May July. Fucking hell, I didn't know it was so hard. It took my countless of tries, lefting the camera there to operate for minutes and minutes.. 50 attempts +/- mostly not even close. I gave up in the end, feeling the sore in my knee, which I already felt earlier on, but kept on trying. This ended up for a long time, till November is it totally gone.. I guess. Only bright thing in this month is that I got to meet a couple of new faces to PKSG, Zhiyang, Dblucy, Fred.

July
Was in a total mess, going to the docs, finding doctors, icing it daily, hardly get to train. Rest for two weeks, went back to gym, worsened its condition. I can't even do squats, amazing. And during that time I hardly did anything which is like wtf. I really hate that. This month is one of the most stagnant month since I ever stepped into PK. Knee condition wasn't never OK until September... but thats not anytime soon.

August
I was busy recuperating, only did watched videos everytime I came back from school. Yet again exams are coming, about to. The first obstacle of this month was that I lost my belonging when I went to Clementi with Glen and Ashton and Gab. Really pissed off, my camera, amaths txtbook, ipod, wallet, hp, they went missing. Thinking back, wow, fucking wasted. Hais. But really thanks to Tutu, he helped me got this fucking awesome 2k camcorder, I feel really guilty not treating him even better. I should do so now.. hais. Guilt. I did go back to strength training for abit, movements gotten abit rustier but its a good cause, I stopped Parkour so I won't impact myself, body getting back to business.

September
Finally my knee seems to be working fine, went back to strength training, as to build up my strength before training PK again. They are awesome, feels so good back to training, first real routine, learnt alot throughout. I didn't do much of PK, but helped to filmed Dblucy's sampler.
As I started training, exams are around the corner, stress are building up. During this month, something happened to my family, which gotten into serious trouble...

October
Exams starts, really stressful period but yet I continued with strength training, which turns out to be not a hindrance in my studies. I actually scored pretty well compared to May, and some much more imporvement from the start of the year (and the past year). Already gotten past my previous Squats 3RMs and I'm starting to get back to PK training, but light training. Knee cocks up but it heals pretty soon. This month is also the time where I look ahead of my future, plan my statement, train with a goal in mind. My birthday jam was another memorable episode of my life. Probably the best birthday ever. Then soon, its november.

November
I finished my routine with an awesome 76kg 5rm, I get to go out with more of the PKSG traceurs this month, Holidays started, started to train PK more and more, can see the tremendous improvements squats done to my movements. And theres the huge PKSG jam at Bishan. I dont know much of else, just my knee gotten healed pretty good. Enjoyed the time as I'm out of school.

December
This month hadn't finished, but I can say I'm really happy with the standard I'm in now. I'm getting stronger everyday, mentally and physically. Got a couple of awesome jams already, and still waiting for the jam to end the year. Recently I've bailed more than usual, which is retarded and bad, something that I need to fix, yet again. Also, started to film more clips for the video that I'm gonna release soon.

Overall.. I can say this is a pretty good year. Learnt from mistakes, brighten up alittle, seen more of life and the bads. In school, I gotten the meet better friends unlike the past class, quitted NCC, now going to school isn't necessary a misery. Although theres are some fights here and there, rivalry, hatred, I can say theres no trouble amongst friends. Studies, I think I'm coping OK, after awhile to adapt to Sec3 standards. Next year will be my O level year and I expect alot of the stuffs there to be even more stressful and harder, as I prepare to end my Secondary School life... hopefully happily.
Also for my movements, I think this year is the year where I finally get into PK or whatever the name of the thing I'm doing is. I know I'm gonna stick to this till the day I die. Also improved alot, very happy with the standard I'm in, strength training is going damn well too, squats improved so much, get acclimated to gyming. Although theres a big mistake during June, I really learnt my lesson and definitely must listen to my body.
Filming definitely improved and editing too. I wanna make just two movies next year, one documentary, and just an cinematic trailer-like video thingy (not confirmed though). Just get prepared for the video that I'm gonna release, haha.

As I've written alot of craps now, I think I'm gonna stop, and I'm gonna make a New Years Resolution post soon.

More craps.

2008-12-22T13:35:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was the Xmas jam, didn't got much clips from it so I will probably do a video with crap editing and post it on my denester1 account. Did learnt some stuffs from the jam though. First one is my SDC2P at Clarke Quay, got it nailed, which was my goal for this year. Actually I could see my SDC improving quite well. Also, the standard of PKSG traceurs (the new generation ones) are amazing, with Stephen, Zhiyang, Dblucy, Jordan, Fred, they are super good and improving very fast. I'm talking about their skills though, mindset, to some people, I'm not too sure, but its ok. Dblucy is improving incredibly fast, same for Zhiyang and Stephen. Quite amazed by their speed of progression.

Got a couple of bruises from yesterday jam, because of knocking my knee on to the wall in my running crane at ashton's spot and SDC2cats at Clarke Quay. Thats one thing I need to work on right now. My running crane sucks, I wanna be able to land it properly some time later. I think I should really learn how to jump UP, fuck UP, not forward like fuck. Still just can't get it into my system. Also now that I feel I'm into quite a good level with my skills, I wanna start getting more control in my movements. Even if I can go so far with my SDC and shit, without control, it isn't really something to be happy about.
One thing about PhilyDee that I like is, he gets very far in his SDCs and running precisions and all this stuffs, but he got control over them, lands it nicely and silently, rail precisions and good as hell, he is very fast, and has control over his power. Thats what I want to aim for - controlled power, or powerful control. Lulz.

I can feel that my frontflip and my handstands improved, just a slight improvement though, and my backflips are still crap. Flips are something that I will be practicing on alot thats for sure, now that I feel my Pak-cool is up to a satisfactory standard. I should allocate more work on the things I suck at. Also I don't wanna keep pushing my movements so much, its really stressful and like I said I just wanna 'perfect' the things that I'm already capable of and train for control. Especially for my precisions.

Well I think my SDC is still the strongest of all other movements, and I've train it to a point I've nailed all the goals I wanted to nail, so now for SDC there isn't anymore goals (as in goals that I wanna nail soon, there are one day goals for it though). I think the Clarke Quay SDC2P still isn't my furthest or what, its just the fear that held me back alot. But I think I don't wanna keep pushing my SDC for now, just maintain it and getting them consistent. On the other hand, my wallpasses aren't that good yet, and are bloody inconsistent. I wanna nail some walls in my area and get them consistent and good. The rest I just wanna practice them, repeat them, thats all.

Time is passing by really quickly, and everyday seems like a same cycle. Wake up play comp, eat, train, go out, all kinds of same stuffs. School reopens, I can't stand the teachers and the schoolwork I foresee coming. Whats more it is O level year, so much more stressful and work will all get harder. It sucks man, totally. I can say I hate school and all such shits but in the end I still ought to, and HAVE to study and go to school, and face the retarded teachers and retarded education. 2 months fly past us like nothing, like just a few weeks. Next year I'll be have strength training routines, which will make time fly even faster somehow, and then in just awhile, I see myself in the school hall taking the torturous Olevel exam. Its fucking stressful bullshit, that's why I hate Singapore, fucking highly competitive country.
Talking about school, I just remembered that I have yet to completed some of my school holiday homeworks.. fucking lame shit.

I realize one thing about me. I like to ask people how to do this, how to do that. Its not necessarily stupid or a bad thing to do, as we all shouldn't be afraid to ask things that we do not know. Anyway, the thing is, I should instead just try to find information through the web if possible, or just experiment and try out the things I wanna do first, and then ask questions if you are really stucked or something. Also the reason why I feel guilty is that I'm not a newcomer anymore, it just looks stupid to keep asking such questions rather then finding out for myself. 360 precisions, handstands, all those stuffs. Its funny. Whats more, if I were to ask so much question, I should also help people more, which is something I'm not sure whether I'm actually doing. Oh well.. just something that I wanna rant out.

My video, gotten some clips already, almost gonna finish it, just needa get more runs at Tampines and Buangkok, again more timelapse and more artistic angles and stylistic camera movements, more innovative ideas for my videos, and all this shit. Mainly more runs actually, because I already had good amount of one movement clips.

I'm now trying my best to save up as much money as I could but sadly I can't, everytime I spend money eating food outside, also I still have to go to weights gym which will cost 2.50 every time I go in. At times I even had to waste other people's money. Oh well have to stop eating outside that often already. I still have to save up for fisheye lens and travel trips.

As I got nothing else on top of my head right now, I'll end it here, maybe update this post again later.

Thoughts in process.

2008-12-18T21:26:00.003+08:00

Jelapang jam was awesome, managed to capture some cool clips from it and made it into one video.. editing was shit, but I guess for such videos it is the movements and vibe that counts. Christmas jam.. I'm gonna be making another video I guess, judging from how it is going to feel, and then another video for the NYE jam.

This post's gonna be long.
I got a few topics to discuss about and hope its not gonna be boring.

First up, training as usual.
I felt that I need more strength in my lower back to cover up for bad landings and of course for strength in my jumps. I think I'll do more lowerback strengthening exercises in the gym especially deadlifts. Sometimes I feel that my landings are crap.. and I keep thinking of possible back pains in the future. I guess need to work on my landings as well.. back to basics. Squat form is weird though, but I guess its fine. I need to get used to all the lifts before I start my routine in January. Should start planning for it soon too.
Flips. I just realize everything new thats a very long time to learn, once you get them well, like at least get technique down, it will be really easier. Backflips are way harder then it sounds. Whats more, theres still another problem - inconsistency. Oh well, I just really need to repeat and repeat my moves. Frontflip is something I could nail since last year, and because of lack of practice, I still can't even get them nailed properly. I really need to start drilling flips, as they are my weakest. 360s, handstands, bar tricks and the like, all takes alot of practice to be done, and even more to be done well. Need to practice alot now. Its just really frustrating to feel your backflips sucks and all.. this is something that is wrong with me. Once frustration takes over you, things will get more and more out of hand. Also for flips, I feel when you are a beginner, if you don't have access to gym, flips will be damn impactful. You know like landing frontflip in a very crouched position, and sometimes bailing your moves.. it just sucks. Without gym, you can't do the moves that you are afraid of, as in, will take a very long time to get over the fear. I have been pushing myself abit for the lache gainer, but then I still can't make myself do it because of the fear. Gosh, its gonna take awhile to get flips and its motion into my system.
Movements. I think my wallpass have been improving. Its still not very consistent as I want it to be, but at least my technique is getting better and better. I'm actually quite happy with it now despite it being one of my weakest of all the other techniques. Whats more my sdcs are improving alot too, which is something good but it just shows that I place too much priority on this movement alone, and thats why it is my strongest (and also my favourite) movement. 180s (cat2pre) are amazingly good too despite not training it much. Bishan is a good spots to train them. I feel that armjumps, one of my weak points is that I do not dare to do a catleap that I might jerk my shoulders. I'm pretty sure I can do them but I hesistate to grab the top for fear that I can't control it. Especially for high ones that I can't reach. All the rest are fine, precisions are still the same though.

Filming alot more now, gotten quite some amount of clips and gonna start editing my sampler already. As much as possible I want to make it have this element of suprise. In terms of editing, filming, and movements. Hahaha, now I need to find some time by myself to film my movements. I'm not very sure when I'm gonna release it, but I guess I'll just take my time. I hope it will be good. Ashton's showreel seems to be postponed, Fred sampler should be finishing soon, with the clips I have on my comp now. I need to film more timelapses, and more stylistic angle and cameramovement.
I just realize, I keep making myself seem like a very good cameraman but in fact I'm just pretty much an substandard videographer. Editing wise maybe I'm quite good at it, but then its just a standard that one can get to in like a few weeks messing with Vegas. Its pretty much no biggie. Also the most important thing that is for a video is the filming part. Bad filming can't be saved with good editing, but good filming can save bad editing. Whats more now I'm holding a HD camera, but I'm not making any good use with it. My hands are still kinda shaky and all, I can't do shit with adobe after effects, I'm just making myself look big holding a HD camcorder and a tripod, and all my seemingly cool video effects. Oh well, at least my passion in filmmaking is still there. Just I have much more to learn. I need to practice them by helping others make videos haha, and editing them too.

By the way, my shoes are dying soon as I've checked my soles. I think I bought them about end of last year, so its only this durable.. Hopefully this can last till March at least, then I will find a different shoe. This shoe rocks though, really like it alot. I guess the reason why my shoes wears this much is because of training at Bishan. Wtf, if people train over there regularly, I think they need to change shoes every 2 months. I listen to my shoes grinding against those unforgiving rough surfaces in my videos, can imagine how much soles I've lost in just one catleap. Imagine I buy a new shoe and do 1000 sdc2cats there, the shoe is only as good for one day. Seriously, Bishan rocks for sure but, wow the surfaces, although grippy, is a shoe killer.

I'm saving up money for a few stuffs now, but mainly a semi-fisheye lens, and travel trips to England, and one day Lisses too. I just want to ask myself why do I wanna travel? Travelling is definitely fun for anyone, but why England and/or Lisses? I've been watching the pk scene in the UK and just really wish to visit those guys over there, and also the brilliant spots at Cambridge and London. Like what I heard Ashton said, England is to go for enjoyment, Lisses for enlightenment. I do wish to meet Daniel Ilabaca, Blane, PhilyDee and those other guys. If I could meet the really experienced traceurs namely Yamakasi, David Belle, those pioneers in this discipline, it would sure be some inspiration. Lisses, the legendary spots of the world, the birthplace of the thing that I'm doing. Yeah, I really wish to go to those places. It will be hella fun.

No matter how many times I tell myself that I shouldn't like anyone affect the way I am and the things I do, usually I can't make myself do that, I always felt irritated and feel like fighting back. I know its really stupid for such things to happen, but it will take abit of time to get rid of such thoughts. LBC are a great example. IF they are at castle and I'm training there, I would probably hate the sight of them. I don't know why but what for.. I mean if they were to copy me or what and die or something, its nothing that has to do with me, its them who did the move.. I think I'll like to care less about them and mind my own stuffs. Even if they are around I will just do my thing, I don't really wish to talk to them and all.. just ignore as much as possible. Hais, whatever man, I just fucking can't let those people ruin my day or disrupt my training. Its stupid. Also if people wanna copy the things I do, I won't feel bad or think badly about it... I guess like its just a goal to someone, maybe I'm the trendsetter or something, or the guy with the most creativity and stuffs like that. If I'm the one who first did something doesn't mean I should be so proud and call everyone a copycat when they copy me. Lets just stop all this crap.

Just thought that, my friends.. do I have a real true friend? I can say the reason why I don't really click with the friends in school that well is because I don't like to do the stuffs they do, normally slacking around and shit like this. Like many would agree, people with similar interest will click really well and thats why traceurs do have a really special bonds towards each other. The people I talk to in msn is mostly traceurs, and really rare when a schoolmate of mine talk to me, or I talk to them. But then, one can hardly live alone, I'm not saying to be dependent on someone to live, but to be able to have help when we need it. Also at times where I need to pour out my thoughts and troubles, who will be there to really listen and really help. Ahh, well. I don't know much, I just feel that I'm not that sociable and too much obsessed with training. I wonder whether its a good thing or not.
BUT. Pahcore does really change one person. You know many people like to try different things that appeals to them. I was once a guy who really like soccer, and then for awhile I was into gaming, but then now I tried Pahcour with my poser friends in the past, and this is what I've became to. Actually to be honest, many guys started would be really interested and always wanting to train, thats normal. But sooner or later, they might start to get bored of it and slowly lose interest and drift away OR get more serious it in. I won't say 2 years will be enough to see one guy being serious in Parkaour. I'm talking about 3 years of hardwork and proper training. Its only then it becomes and natural habit to go out and train everyday, and only feel weird if you are not training.
Anyway thats way off topic. Changing ones life doing Pahcor, it really does. Of course Pacor does not appeal to everyone. Only a selected few. Its just change everything, the view on things, the way it affects your life, and your friends.. diet, family, all kinds. Its really a turning point in life, towards to right direction. Do you know something, my grades actually did improve while still training hard, I was training throughout my exams and I ended up 11/195 level position. Not bragging at all but just saying it did somehow made me more discipline even my studies, and just saying you shouldn't give excuses not to train because of schoolwork/exams/shit, and lastly on the contrary, if you train alot, doesn't mean your results will slacken.

Oh well the recent case of PKSG being on stomp and those shit, made me thought of how irritating Singaporeans are. I don't really like the stares from the public especially when its like carried with negative connotations. I really hate those aunties and malay mats.. Oh well, when you are living in a such crappy country, rushing progression in architecture and urbanization when its only 43 yearold+/- .. nevermind, talk about Singapore only angers me.

I wanna find more different kinds of music now, I got ideas for videos (my videos) that I wanna make in the future. Documentary-themed video which I plan to be about 8minutes long, I will be talking about my life and Parkour, telling everybody how I feel and things like that. And another, probably a short epic trailer kind of video, artistic and epic feel to it. To make such videos, I must have good music woohoo.
I used to watch snowboard flicks and try to learn their camera movement. I'm still waiting to download Double Decade and Teenage Love Graffiti from two of my favourite production teams, MDP and Isen7. Because snowboarding is quite similar to film for Peekay, its kinda cool that I could try to learn the way the move their camera for shots. Its easier said than done though.. I just can't wait to see their new movies.

To think about it after some soul-searching, I realize as a person I don't really think I've been a good one, I feel that I'm sometimes pretty irritating and things. I don't really thing I cherish my friends properly, thinking that I'm taking things for granted. Sometimes I couldn't take insults, sometimes I give too much insults. I might always tend or seem to be a little boastful probably subconciously. Then I do contradict myself at times, kinda like hate people because they do things that I actually do as well.. and many more.
Year's almost over and I hope to have a brighter year ahead, especially when this year is OLEVEL YEAR NOOOO!!

I'm gonna write a year in review soon.
This post is filled with crap. Wasting time reading much?

At the moment.

2008-12-13T01:22:00.002+08:00

Super bored right now, almost half of december already flew past.
Fuck I hate school lah seriously, Sec 4, Olevel's burdening me. FUCK, I got no mood to go to school. But I will still train, more on my strength that is.

Ok, I've been training almost everyday and hardly gave my body rest. I think its kinda strenous to my body if I train everyday, and always do high impact stuffs all that.. I should do light movements on alternate days or something like that. Anyway, I don't wanna talk all those stuffs, even I read also bored to death.

Strength training this week was to train for strength, for abit, and today I still could squat 70kg x5, which is not bad considering I didn't use much effort or hype myself up much. 19kg pullups failed one rep, which is ok, because actually its very near my max, 21kg. Benchpress amazingly is quite damn good. This following week will be practicing on form, doing front squats, deadlifts, standing presses, to get used to them as I wanna be able to perform a wide range of lifts. Power cleans are really hard to learn but hopefully I can get them down too. I wanna practice my squats andbe able to do 60kg squats properly and without much struggle. Probably another 5 or 6 more weeks of adaptation in to strength training then I will start on my new routine, about the last week of January next year. I would only do movements once every week (on saturday most probably).

Just now trained movements abit too at the night with Glen, practiced my runs, my climbs, anyway I think I'm getting used to my straight armed climbup already. I bailed at the end just now, slipping off a rail precision, my foot failing to make proper contact. Sucks man. I hate bailing, it makes you feel totally fucked up. Even after a good session, if you bailed, it will ruin your whole mood. I got so many cuts and bruises on my shin thanks to the countless amount of times I've bailed. Needa focus more on my movements to reduce bails from now on. Sucks man, its just kind of like a natural thing to happen if you practice pahcore. You WILL bail at times, usually lack of focus (carelessness) or pushing yourself too much (the latter being the stupid one).

Rage Froobling. I wanna make a video on that, but then I wouldn't wanna screw them up, like I'm not sure whats REALLY Rage Froobling, is like what the UFF did to Parkour if I were to make a video that have no link to RF. Anyway I still wanna make a video that shows at least in some way similar to Teghead's video. I've been practicing runs and climbs, including a simulation of a human opposition. I decided to make two videos. One is my cinematography/pk reel, which will be release early Jan, and another one just a compilation of clips I've gathered throughout December (clips are not worthy of my showreel). I'm gonna include some Rage Froobling things into both videos maybe.

I'm gonna needa film alot more now, as there are limited time. Need more time lapses, more movements too, and more artistic shots (fancy angles and camera movements). Have troubles trying to find places for silhouette shots. Also, other videos that I may be working on is the PKSG 2008 video, the new years eve jam video (PKSG JAM), Thai's traceur jam video, Fred sampler, Ashton showreel. Next year I'm gonna work on a couple of people's videos too. All I actually wanna do is to really collect many clips. Haha.

I thought of stuffs today. If I really wanna travel to England some day, I must start earning and saving up money for the plane tickets and the trip. I'm trying to save up to 3k, start working after the end of my Olevels, and hopefully by mid-2010 I've saved up the 3k that I need to travel. I hope to have someone to accompany me too, and I would probably be staying there for a week. Also I want to make a steadicam for my camera soon, I just don't know where to find the parts and tools to make it, I don't know any DIY/Hardware store. I also wanna save up for a fisheye lens. Everything else won't be much. Now I should really start saving up.

Training this week might be good but then I feel that theres much improvement that I need to put in so I won't always go back with that regretted mind. All I can say trainings this month were better then the older days but then I still want to stop doing stupid things and stuffs. Its amazing many things I say, can't be put into proper actions. My goals for 2008 for my way of training doubtfully have been achieved. Theres only about 16 days left in 2008, so I wonder whether in this 2 weeks+ I can be happy with the things I do.

Tomorrow will be having a Jelapang Jam, and then I would like to make a Christmas jam, then new years eve Jam. Loads of jam lined up, means fun and more filming coming my way.

WOOHOO!

One day goals.

2008-12-06T22:19:00.004+08:00

Felt that I'm more and more serious in my trainings than ever right now.

I'm starting see the effect from my strength training into my movements now. Jumping power increased and I've done more and more bigger jumps right now. My wallpass technique is getting better although its not very consistent yet. My SDC seem to more relax now but when it comes to far distances (that I can cover), my landing is poorly controlled. I need to practice more in control in my SDCs. Precision are good, which I'm quite happy. Armjumps, height wise are getting amazing, kinda like a testament in my transition of strength from my strength training routine, but I wanna learn how to land control for far armjumps. I need some work on balancing and rail precisions at the moment. Other movements are still OK..

Flips still sucks pretty much. I wanna be able to land nice flips, good height, landing not in bent knees or such, good control in landing, etc. It seems like my tucking, timing and transferring of forward momentum to height, and also understanding of the physics of flips (in my body) is the reason why my reason in sloppy. Bar tricks still really need adaptation, I'm still very scared of my 'leg swing thing' and the other movements are inconsistent too.

Strength training, I think my squats are OK, nothing bad about the form, I think I'm just overanxious at times. I'm gonna start trying to regain strength for abit, for this week, and from the other weeks onwards is just perfecting technique and form and rotating exercises. Adapting to new lifts and brushing up on stuffs that I need work in.

I still find them I push myself too much in trainings, although this week is a far better week. I bailed quite alot of times this week though.. some really careless, some just stupid. I think I'm pushing myself too much. I think one of the reason why this is so is that I thought I felt progression, and I think I am now able to do this or that. Well I should really stop trying to aim to nail harder movements or what, but rather just drill on the stuffs that I could already do and make it consistent. Since I already got the 'power' in this case, I should get it controlled. There is no point that you nail a bigger movement and hurt your joints and shit. Need to focus more on control and fast movements, and I want to get include more runs in to my training now.

I'm still thinking, it feels funny that we are actually do what we are doing. I mean, why would want to try to do a run up followed by a jump, in such placing your hand on a wall and tucking your legs through your arms, getting you up and over the wall and gaining enough momemtum to bring you to another ledge, landing it in a controlled manner. Or just another other thing that is considered 'Parkour' to people. I find it weird that we actually don't understand alot of things we do, that includes life. Humans just either hunt for food for the instincts, satisfying their want for fun by, having fun. I mean, everything we do now, is just what we want to do, we don't have a specific reason for everything. Ok I'm not making much sense, don't know whether its understandable at all.

Right now I think Pahcore, or more accurately movements, is like a really big part of me. I can tell you that I think I'm closer to my friends I train with as compared to my classmates or other friends. I don't know why, but then traceurs or people who practice such stuffs shares a bigger bond than most other people. Everyday now I'm training, training and training. I hardly even go out with my classmates or old friends anymore, even after school I go home straight and is kinda like, training-obsessed. I think we all should know how to draw a line whether you are training so much that you start to neglect your good friends, and your seriousness in your discipline. Oh well, its not really much a matter as I don't actually have much 'real' friends from school or anywhere else (other then through PeeKay). I need to socialize more.

Anyway, theres a reason why the post is titled such. Yes, one day goals. I will be able to do this stuffs one day. Most of this goals are purposely written in a way no one can properly understand, but only to me. I'm just writing this down and see whether they are actually being done and filmed in my 2010 video (doesn't matter whether I do them anot by then, but at least I will nail them one day).
-Slide castle catleap
-Top castle precision
-Kash2cat
-DDL Precision
-Dgainer
-FCL
-GCL
-Nazir wall
-Treegarden level sdc2p.
-Reverse2cat Bishan
-SDC2P NCspot 2nd ledge
(I will update this list when I need to, this list is not exhaustive)

This movements are probably the outcome of hard training, only numerous training and hard work put in can result to the strength and control needed for those intricate movements. That's what the whole purpose of myself training. I want to tell myself that I've only come so far due to the very reason that I've put so much effort in improving myself. That is why next year I'm gonna spend alot of time strength training in the gym, and also for getting flips and everything else down into my system.

Whats more, next year is the year where I hope to get my OAC and 2x BW squats. I'm gonna seriously work on my strength! And Olevels will be over next year, so 2010 will be SHIOK!

Out of hand.

2008-11-30T14:15:00.005+08:00

Recent training, as for the whole of this week, is kinda bad.

I'll really type my shit down fast.
Monday is crap, as I've said in the previous post. Alot of impactful stuffs, training for way too long, sprained my ankle after one huge running jump precision, and worsened after a bail off a catleap. Gotten my flips back though... but still alot of improvements are to be made.
Tuesday I rest due to my crappy ankle, went to gym. Forms suddenly feel really crap out of the sudden, will explain more later.
Wednesday rest, did shits at home..
Thursday went to gym did a few stuffs.. ok was not that bad, then night time when to Simei and train, for like damn long.. which is totally not going the way I planned. Wallpasses seems to be OK and really shitty at times... in other words fucking inconsistent, but yeah I've seen improvements. Remember the stupid wall which I call "wall of doom", the wall where I did nearly 50 attempts just to get a wallpass on film, which failed and in turn screwed my knee really badly. Don't know, I'm not totally good with it yet, but last week I managed to nailed the wall in my first attempt. Today I nailed it 6 times in i think 13 attempts... Which is not bad considering the past.. but I didn't really want to continue once I fail, bad memories. I did alot of movements and really stresses my knees, which is the bad of doing too mcuh on one day.
Didn't stop there though. Friday went to Wes' jam, did some stuffs here and there, wasn't planning to train much but then again, I succumbed to temptation. Actually it was ok until I went to Clarke Quay, and think I overdid myself.. And I had another look at the SDC2Pre, NOT EASY AT ALL, Just tells me how crazy the standards are in UK, the ramp at Imax, sdc2p like NOTHING! Fuck, I was another video, go to the youtube account 'littlemrenergy' and watch his latest video 'sheffield', INSANE OWNAGE to the standard here in Singapore. OK went abit off topic. I re-tried the SDC2cat, isn't easy too, I got it usually by luck. So much more to improve on...
And then yesterday, went to gym, my form on squats felt really bad, smae for my bench press all of the sudden.. it feels damn weird sia. I'm not talking about fatigue, just form without weights feels crap. DAMN IT LAH.... I really need to work on it. I don't know why I feel insecure with my forms alot of times.. and need someone reliable to spot it. Its sooooooo weird. fuck lah. irritating feeling. I wasn't planning to do any movements training that day, but decided not to slack at home, but meet up the other guys to slack or maybe do light movements. As usual, succumbed to temptation, ended up training so many stuffs.. to a point where there is too much impacts going into the knees, ankle, lowerback. DIE.

This week is crap, today I'm staying at home. I'm gonna train handstands, somethign that I haven't properly focused for a long time. DAMN! and I said I'm gonna get them by this year. Fuck, I'm not working towards my goals. Seriously man, actually, don't even talk about goals, but about being strict towards my training (AND GOALS). I said 1hr 30minutes the max for movements training. But didn't stick to it. That is just one thing bad about me.. I never stick to my plans.. I mean sometimes I do, but occasionally things will cock up. I really hope my knees, ankles, lowerback, actually essentially my whole body is still fine when I hit 40. Thats why I need to make sure my squats form and the others are spot on, and also my movements training isnt too stressful for my joints. Those are some stuffs that I must seriously work on... since last time sia.. damn.

I got to admit, my knees are totally 100% fine yet, all the way back to early July. Ankle sprain also isn't totally healed. At times after training, I feel some lowerback strain. Wrist feels pains time and again, but they aren't really serious. The bruise on my hip (that I've gotten from Monday) still feels pain. All this stuffs isn't like all the time, the knee being usually after a impactful day of training, ankle from the bail, lowerback after heavy or too squatting and/or deadlifting, wrist after long day of handbalancing. Thats why its never good to train for too long.

Also find that I see improvement when I'm able to do a bigger, better movement. I think even if I'm strong to be able to handle impact, if I keep pushing my limits, keep doing bigger and bigger jumps, in the end I'm still handling same amount of impact, which really isn't of any point. Improvement doesn't always mean being able to nail a bigger jump or what, but being able to control a movement properly, feeling that a movement that you once struggled to do felt easier, being faster, smoother in your movement, or just feeling lighter in your movement. Sure it is ok to try some big movement, I mean it is a way to test your improvement - to be able to nail one 'big' stuff that you couldn't in the past. But you can't keep on pushing.. not only is that risky, but your joints wouldn't be happy too. Sometimes when you improve, your mind definitely will feel happy, but then your body won't feel good, which is just.. a bad trade in my opinion. I should really start changing my training mindset.

What else to say about this week? My diet, is crap. Eating too much fast food, like twice for this week alone. I guess I should really cut out the bad fats and eat properly, especially protein. EGGS ROCKS. TUNA TOO, CHICKEN STILL THE BEST.

Ok. Let me talk about some stuffs first.
Flips are getting there.. but I think I need more practice in my backflip.. on getting more height and proper tucking and being able to do them on concrete. Frontflip still the same probelm.. can't find the correct timing to untuck to land it straight and well without overrotating or underrotating. Aerial still needs work on flat. I wanna try the lache gainer and sideflip soon.. but one step at a time.
Pahcour-wise. Wallpasses found improvements. SDC is good, but not good enough for the one at Clarke Quay, but no hurry for that. Need to work on my fluidity rather then on bigger precision jumps or catleap or whatever. Muscleups seems alot better and natural now, being able to do false grip muscleup on shelter. Cat2cats are way better. Dash 2 precisions are getting further. Precisions seems better, but I never work on them recently. Have some ideas in castle, gonna nail some stuffs no one ever thought of doing... one day (not anytime soon). Still wants improvement in vertical jump. Guess thats all.
Random stuffs-wise, bar tricks are getting a little better, but still not the state I want them to be. Need to nail more new tricks.. get comfortable with the old ones, and get good with them. Handstands are getting better.. although I haven't train them much. Control is almost there, but still, its very inconsistent. I wonder when will I be able to say that I can do a handstand. Still, I will work hard for it. Rail-work, I'm getting ok with the KASH-turnvault thing, but still wanna get it till I can sit on the bar 98% of the time. Backwards SDC... I NEED HIPS FLEXIBILITY DAMN. I want to be able to tuck my legs through my hands in a l-sit to handstand. Palmspins are getting there, but haven't tried it on a rail, too scared to do so. FUCK. Still training for dash to turnvault like what Victor Lopez did. 360 precisions... still super uncontrolled. Reverse vaults for distance.. very hard.

Also I wanna say that, I see Pahcore way differently then most of you guys. I've been influenced by some guys in Parkour.net in the past, and my thinking differs quite alot of other guys. I tell myself I don't do pahcore because I clearly don't. I don't try to make my movement practical so I can apply them in real life, because I don't train for that (but I'm pretty sure if there are situation where I need to put my skills to test, I can). Sometimes efficiency can be fun (rage froobling wootwoot), but I don't want to be just efficient and efficient only.
And I'm not the guy who likes doing quadrupedalling, multiple precision jumps, doing conditioning the way Yamakasi does it (no disrespect to them), because I'm kinda the pro-weight training guy as I'm very convinced that weights are the better way to train for strength. So many myths and other craps goes about though, something that I feel kinda sad for. Actually I don't really mind as its cool doing training differently from others. SQUATS ARE THE BEST EXERCISE EVER!

I really should start taking videos right now. Missed out a couple of good scenery shots.. only to know that I didn't bring my camera along.. hope I have another chance to catch them again. Whats more, its already December tomorrow. Thats fucking fast. Holidays are soon to be over... Have to cherish time right now and train hard. Oh and Ashton, don't forget about your video. Gonna start collecting clips in my travels right now.

Tomorrow I'm going to gym and start working on my form.
Tuesday I'm going Chong Pang probably to train for the SDC2P at Clarke Quay. And check out spots at Sembawang.
Wednesday I think I'm going to Taman Jurong, film stuffs there, calling guys to come along as well.. somewhat like a mini jam for all of us.
Thursday will be my final deloading day, after that I'm free to do my own training in the gym.
Friday I'll probably go castle and work on stuffs again.. especially flips I guess.
Saturday, again at Tampines, jam over there
Sunday.... I don't know.
Plans for the next week - keep training around 1hr 30minutes. And film!

Now that it is December, I hope that my training will improve.

Things for now.

2008-11-26T18:12:00.003+08:00

Sorry I had to change the blog link again, and keep it private. I don't want kids to read my posts and then use it as a source of references (in other words, copying). Anyway I guess I'll just private this and invite those people who I want to read.. even better.

Don't you find it scary if guys going to extremes and having all the songs you use in your videos as ringtones or in a playlist in your psp? And guys even memorising your videos, whenever you go to a spot you will say "So and so, did this and that" for everything. The consequences of being high profile. Don't know why man, this is so sad. Everything can be easily ignored, thats ok (easier said then done though), but sometimes things gets too irritating. Also, if you were to ignore others, you will feel guilty somehow, like imagine if you ask the other experienced traceurs for tips and yet they don't reply you and all, or just imagine if you weren't accepted by the people around you right now. Damn..

Anyway, enough of those craps, lets see...
On monday, was a good and bad day.. firstly I bailed alot of times, including have a bruised hip and sprained ankle now. Fell of a tictac crane, landing on my hip sliding down stairs.. did a running precision only to sprained my ankle upon landing, chipped my knee against a sdc (high obstacle), falling backwards off a catleap (just attempting to do a high catleap), missed the edge, landed carelessly with my ankle twisted, bailed a reverse to precision only to scratch my arm, received quite alot of impacts, etc. All those although is quite minor, its still frustrating to have, and the sprained ankle is still here, and one of the reason why I didn't went out to train today (another being rain), but still gonna practice some stuffs later when things are dryer.
Only thing really good was that I nailed the crane and also got back my flips at castle.

Strength training went on even with the sprained ankle. I just can't take impacts, but still can walk and squat normally. I realize something.. my squats are good at times, and bad at times (as in form). I'm not sure whether its 'perfect' form, but usually it feels weird, and when it feels weird, it is wrong. Usually it is because of tight muscles and wrong foot positioning. Have to get used to it soon. And I've been practicing forms of new lifts, frontsquats and goodmornings, trying to get powercleans, etc. Want to 'perfect' benchpress and deadlifts.

Gotta really work on handstands at home right now, and practice on my 360s. Theres alot of things that needs brushing up and work on right now. Currently my sdcs are like way much better then my other movements so I really shouldn't put too much emphasis on them. Running precisions or jumps in general will be better by strength training alone, oh and just abit of plyometrics for power which I will be doing. I'm gonna drill my flips, especially backflips and fronts, till its second nature (or at least as near to 2nd nature as possible). I could already those and wallspins, aerials, and done lache gainers. I want to get wallflips, gainers and sideflips down too. Roundoff, bhs, such combos, maybe. Maybe just at least get them down. Bar tricks, not quite there yet. My reverse vaults for distances too, its so uncontrolled..

I think I'm gonna start filming very soon, at least starting with artistic shots and timelapses. I feel like getting as much clips as possible, just to keep them in my computer or what, and also work on the PKSG 2008 video. Damn, still regretted not making the bishan jam video, only if we had a person filming for us that day, so much better and easier it will be. Lost of mood suddenly.. as I wanted to nail some stuff. Forget it anyway... and yeah, Ashton showreel, "when?" is the question.

Don't have much to write about actually.. so bye.

Gainer to catleap, dash gainer, frontflip to catleap.

Thoughts crawling in my mind.

2008-11-19T21:52:00.004+08:00

Was a really long time that I last updated myself of the reason I change.

I'd like to re-read what I've posted in the past and see how much my thoughts change and the progress I'm making in my mind. I've decided to keep this opened for viewers, but still I wish to keep it underground. If one guy manage to find their way here, good then, but I don't really care.
I've thought to myself time and again, and still wonder why do I train so hard for? What drives me to go out and train? What am I training for? What do I want to be, or what do I want to do? What am I trying to achieve with all this?
Usually all this answers won't come directly to you, sometimes it will just pop by in your mind out of a sudden. It is because such questions are unique to everyone, and when people don't bother to answer those questions with honesty, or fail to give an acceptable answer to himself, its just really sad. Do we really train, so that one day we can finally put them into good use? Or really is it because we wanna be stronger, healthier, fitter, active, whatever? All these cliched examples that I've heard more then enough. Does anybody really just think about what they are even pushing themselves for? Or are they just not that serious at all, just train for the sake of training? As the saying goes yet again, Seb Foucan said "Without philosophy, action has no meaning." If you are heading in no definition direction with what you are doing now, chances are you won't stick this for long.
I don't really like it when people just give answers, that are like so stereotyped, reasons that are already heard so many times. They probably just copy and pasted from what someone have said, from some website, or something. Whether they are honest in their reasons or not is up to them, its not like I or anyone else can do anything to help it.

Again like I said earlier, such thoughts won't come directly into your face, but then again we all can really really think about what we are doing, and try to come out with an answer. Also the reasons will always change or develop, that is because as the time pass and you get more deeper into the philosophy of the discipline, your mind will have new, different thoughts as of why you are training again.

But for now, I'll just state my honest opinions to those questions that I've wrote above.
I think it is really that I have a deep passion to move, I just love movements, they are just so fun. To not be restricted by anything, is just freedom to me. To overcome any obstacles, including my mental barriers, and to do anything that I want, to be able to do movements that I've never thought of doing before, is truly freedom to me. Moving gracefully through the environment is just a wonderful thing. To achieve full body control and to continually break the frontiers of my limits is just amazing. Controlling my every movement, to move the way I want to, are just stuff anyone would dream for. Its only a sad fact that they don't have the heart to work hard for what they want. Through this discipline, its amazing how far I came from, how much blood, sweat and tears I've put in, and how much improvements and learnings I've experienced. I now definitely move to live, and live to move. To constantly improve myself is my neverending goal - to achieve it is purely optional, but to work hard for it and having fun in my quest to 'perfection' is mandatory.

It is in fact quite amazing to look back at myself before I even started training, how weak and unfortunate I am, living the life of a sloth alike my typical human companions. Now, I'm always a man in a mission, trying to make full use of time to develop myself into a stronger, faster, more proficient individual who understand the mechanics of his body. I admit that in training and outside training I'm a totally different person altogether, but nevertheless my desires are always there. I want look back at my youth when I'm much older, and feel proud that I have lived my childhood and my teenage life to the fullest. But I won't stop there, I wish to be one that could travel around the world one day, seeing the world outside of ugly, stupid and boring Singapore, touching the very soil of the birthplace of the discipline, touching the very walls of the most famous spots in the world. Without that piece of puzzle in my life's jigsaw, I won't feel completeness. I hope to transform all my dreams to reality, and to do that, the only way is to work hard.

I've not anywhere near achieving my goals of life, but I'll start as soon as now. The mountain is already ahead of me, only when I reach the peak will I feel fulfillment. My life revolves around alot things. Movements, filmmaking, friends, having fun are the main things. Will 2010 be the breakthrough year? Can I be an professional filmmaker one day? Will I be able to go down in history someday? Will I have the chance of travelling around the country doing what I love most? And when I'm old, can I tell myself that I've lived an successful, meaningful life?

It is undoubtedly hard to achieve them. Some of them might some absurd but this is how things goes. Dream big, they say. There are countless of movements I will train hard for and I'm going to risk my life. One day, I will attempt moves one shouldn't even think of it being possible. No matter how hard or how impossible it seems, it is nonetheless still attainable. Things ain't gonna be the same anymore. The words I say now no matter how dramatic or cool it sounds won't mean anything if I don't put them into action.

- And do you guys realize I hardly use the word pahcore when I talk to others, write things down, or describe what I'm doing? Because if you weren't still updated with my current situations, I don't practice pahcore, never once did. David Belle expressed pahcore as efficient movement, going from one point to another in the fastest time possible, doing movement that you will do in escape or chase situation. I wonder if anyone really think what they are doing is, pahcore. Just look at everyone, aiming to sdc as far as possible, wallpass higher, doing all single movements. Is that really pahcore? And also running is definitely the most used movement in an escape, do I see anyone really train that element? Almost everything you guys trained for is just pointless in an escape? When you are running full speed to a rail, you ain't gonna do an sdc, just jump on to it or over it, when you are doing a wallpass, chances are people can still grab your leg if you cant get up fast enough. If you have watched Teghead's Rage Froobling video, that is definitely pahcore, but everyone is bashing it all up, so whats the point, might as well make up a new name to the thing he is training. I can go on and on but I bet you guys already understand what I'm trying to get through.
Why do I don't practice pahcore then? It is because efficiency just does not appeals to me. I just wanna move the way I want to, without rules or restriction. To move with grace, as I said earlier. I don't like going in just a straight line direction, I'd like to add abit of flair into it. I'll just call it movements in general. I spelt pahcore this way because it will avoid it from appearing in searches. hehehehehe.

Just realize I written a whole bulk. Sometimes my thoughts just drift too far away from topic.
OK, lets talk about recent training. On monday I went to Bishan to train. Managed to nail some stuffs, like the 2nd storey catleap and dash to cat. But I felt that in some occasions I impacted myself too much like forcing myself to do a precision but fall back down quite badly. SDC2P as well. Really bad. My soles of my shoes are gonna wear out so soon, thanks the Bishan unforgiving rough surfaces.
The next day is my first day of deloading, they were done really fast and were really easy. I think I'm gonna make use of the time in the gym to practice form in some lifts. On gym days I think at the night I will go castle, which is what I did that day (yesterday). I drill my wallpass severely and I felt that it is getting way better. Did runs and did wallpass in different directions, after different movements, in lesser running space. Was a really good training that day. Armjumps were getting good but I lost one movement but nothing really much. After that I went to Simei and train the irritating wall (which killed my knees). Did 2 attempts, was quite close but I'm gonna stop right there. AMAZINGLY I feel a tinge of pain in my knee in both landings, I think that wall is CURSED. I HATE THAT WALL OMG!!!
Today I went to dino and shino. It is my SDC drilling day, was ok at dino, but and shino I think I really messed up my muscle memory due to the number of poor landings and badly executed SDCs. Also felt really tired and bailed twice, hitting the same spot on the same shin FUCK. I hate it when my shin gets hurt! I think I did too much, trained over the 1hr 30minutes limit, and did too much of them. The next time I go there I'm gonna make sure I land each move nicely.

Tomorrow I'm gonna rest, or just mess around with the bars and do some rail work. Can't waste my time anymore.
Friday gonna hit the gym, after that I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Saturday is the Bishan Jam, won't do much for obvious reason, but I feel like trying some stuffs, and the wallpass. Drilling precisions as well.
Sunday is my 3rd deloading day, after that I should be drilling my wallpasses again at castle.
Monday maybe going to Sengkang, train on running precision at Dame du lac, practicing basics at NC hotspot, and maybe do some high elements stuff at SK Park.
Tuesday is another day in the gym, night time probably do some bar tricks again.
Wednesday heading to the beach woohooo, must seriously start flipping already, can't waste anymore time.
Thursday another day in the gym.
Friday... friday then talk lah.

Last thing, videos. I think I am going to start filming soon, maybe the last week of November I'll start filming clips. When I go far places such as Clementi, Taman Jurong, Jelapang, or some places where I'm pretty sure I'll go just once, I'll probably bring my camera along so I can film. I'll need to get a variety of artistic shots, think of a semi-storyline, and stuffs like that.. too hard to put into words. And then there is still Ashton's video. Timelapses as well, silhouettes shots. For now I wanna train properly, seriously and progress incrementally, and make sure I don't do stupid things or really bad stressful stuffs like back in the past.

Bye noobs.

End of 5x5

2008-11-15T22:16:00.004+08:00

I just came back from the last day of my routine, felt really damn good. Actually I took this day like really, really preparing for like a competition kind of thing, but not really to the extent. But I did way more psyching up and proper stuffs to get you ready for your maximum lifts, and it sure did pull off well. Ok, squats was awesome, it was definitely my max of lifts, really used alot of effort into that. Was really happy to end up with a new PR, and end this cycle happily. Benchpress sucks, ok, I did manage to pull like 2 reps of 50kg, but then the 3rd rep slipped up, but I don't really care because I don't like benchpresses much. Pullups are awesome again, which is the really 2nd favourite lift in this routine, or rather, the 2nd most important lift for me.

Definitely this workout made me way more stronger and powerful, which improved my squats by 6kg for 5 reps, learnt way more about strength training, acclimated to the conditions, jumps gotten higher and further, muscleups are easy as fuck. Also I think my discipline towards this is really good, I only skipped once due to being really tired the day after my birthday jam, a sacriface I'm willing to make. On that day I would really need to push myself so if I'm going down with half of fitness I probably can't perform well. But overall I did still went for the trainings, making sure I stick to it, so I'm really happy. These are things you would need in order to get achievements you want.

Current personal records
Full back Squats of 76KG (5 reps)
Weighted Pullups of 21KG (5 reps)
Bench Press of 48KG (5 reps)
Deadlift of 66KG (5 reps) - honestly I don't really bother doing this much thats why the gap.
Standing Press of 35KG (5 reps) - yeah don't train this either.

Oh yeah when I took out my camera, some guys over there was asking me why do I take videos, in a sarcastic tone. Well the other guys were talking to themselves in malay and said the word "youtube" and they burst out laughing. Its really funny though how they laugh to ourselves, either thinking we're weak, or wanting to showoff, when they are the ones who are weak, and training for big bulky muscle to attract girls. Firstly whats wrong of just taking some clips of my personal achievement? Its not like I wanna post it in the net and show off my squats. Its just stupid. But ah, fuck it, I shouldn't care.

I really doubt this is my maximum, I mean, maybe, just maybe I could go for more but I decided to take a break now, because I've been constantly increasing workload week by week and fatigue is really building up, so I need to take time out as well. Also since now its the holidays, I would probably want to train more so as to keep up with the time. After deloading I'll probably do some proper training for strength so that I don't get rusty when it comes to next year, and of course training movements, which I'm gonna think of what I should focus on training for this period of time.

My goals for next year is to get a 5 reps full back squats of 2x my bodyweight (which would be 100kg ++). I really hope I could, since next year I would really focus alot on my strength. I would also train hard for an OAC, so I hope I could be able to do Planche en Force before the end of this year. I just hope I don't gain too much mass or something in the next year. I really need to finish my puberty soon, in fact it hasn't even reached the halfway point, damn it I do lack growth hormones. I need to grow!
Anyway, of course all this goal is just for next year. But for life, I would really want to be able to squat 3 plates one day, which is 140kg, and being able to pullup with my own bodyweight added.
After reviewing the jumps that I wanted to do, it seems like really, many things aren't that easy as you think. Yeah for sure my legs have increased power, but that doesn't mean I can nail all the big stuffs I used to be unable to. I think I'm too complacent. Just because I've improved, doesn't mean that I can nail the stuffs that I couldn't in the past. Things are way harder then it seems, almost always, but definitely in whatever circumstances, everything is possible.
I guess the thing I want to do in the future and during the holidays, is not all the big jump stuffs. They will be improved with strength training alone. Heres what I think I will be doing. Generally alot of more technical stuffs, meaning its not about strength or power, but rather of confidence and technique. Things like flips, reverse vault for distance, 360 precision/catleap. I'll try precision jumps, but usually to a higher obstacle, its way lighter in terms of impacts, and I want to get used to the "JUMP UP NOT FORWARD, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!" shit. I want to get used to different kinds of vaults. Train more runs. Out of everything, the most important one is to just keep everything low impact, and drill severely, but try to keep movements training at most 1hr 30minutes, or spreaded out alittle longer, but don't overtrain your body lest you kill your knees and ankles.

Just a conversation with Nazir just now had already changed my thoughts on how I see posers mostly and my thinking in a whole. Well few questions, if theres newcomers, would you train in front of them? How would you feel if they suck up to you? How would you react to newcomers saying 'WOAH' (like Zhiyang) everytime when you do 'big' stuffs? People copying you? Those kind of questions. What he said actually does make sense.
Firstly, whats wrong with training in front of newcomers? My initial thoughts are that, they will want to copy you, and they will irritate you and shit. Now, actually whats the point of letting a bunch of posers, or in fact any people, get into your way of training. Just do what you want to, and there's no need to care about what they say or think about you. About copying, it is true that everyone does copy from each other. Just look at the videos, how many people are doing the same thing, sdc to pre, sdc to pre, all the same. Nazir said was true, those were just goals. Just look at how many people aiming to do the nazir's wall, SDC2P at dinos, all the stuffs. There isn't a rule that say its wrong to copy others, theyre just goals to nail for, to test progression. I was too sensitive, but yeah I still think we should take some time out and think of new ways to move and not be too close minded and copy ALL THE TIME. Yeah and I shouldn't be all worked up if anyone would copy me. No point.

Was also chatting about when kids wants to be like you, and suck up to you and all that. Oh, so just a few words they say will affect your whole training and thoughts? There's no point dreading over it. Just really, heck care. What really matters is yourself, the reason you are training, no one should affect you. You just have to be yourself.

I wonder if you guys actually really thought of what you're doing. Everyone definitely have their own way of training, own reason, own style. Just wondering at all, if you guys take this seriously. Do you guys actually thought of the reason why you train? OH WAIT, I KNOW, self-improvement, so you can use it in an escape, to be more active more stronger, overcome my mental barriers. I'm so bored of such generic reasons of training. I will want to share my thoughts, BUT NAH, you guys will probably copy and paste what I said and say "yeah yeah me too!". You know sometimes the real reason why I chose to be original sometimes and not always blindly copy other is that, you will need as a person yourself to think about your reasoning, your way of training, the direction you're heading. You know, without philosophy, action HAVE NO MEANING. I want to really think the real purpose of my training, and really see why I am doing all this, what do I want to gain. But then again, as long as I know myself, and have a clear conscience, I'm all set.

Ah, I really don't know what to say now.
I guess now as my 10 week routine is totally well done and over, time to start training movement for the remaing 6weeks +/- of the year, to do some unfinished business. I'm gonna start filming soon. Gonna really plan on each training, and deloading, and what I'm gonna do in the gym in december. I don't wanna waste anymore time now, have to take the full advantage of time I have, training at night if I have to.

Yeah fuck I don't feel like talking so much, actions speak louder then words.

BTW go watch my new video on denester1 profile!

Another rant.

2008-11-06T14:01:00.004+08:00

Alright, 4 more sessions to go, about 9 days to go. I can't wait to start training proper movement training. School has ended yesterday, so much more time to relax right now and take everything slowly. Right now since I have the time, I must put them into good use. I think its gonna be time to plan my trainings, and my deloading for strength training, and what will I do in the gym during December.

Yesterday I went to train with Dblucy, actually ain't supposed to but since I got time I just wanna kind of de-stress myself. In the end as usual, trained alot more then I should. My knee isn't fully healed thats for sure, thats why I shouldn't do too much. Just yesterday made me realize the gains I had from my routine and how effective squats is. I feel so much progress in my leg power and I can feel that the stuffs I use to be able to do are bloody easy now, and I can jump further right now, including nailing some really cool new stuffs. But then I shouldn't continue pushing the limits, but rather strive to 'perfect' the easier ones. I feel that my precisions really improved in terms of landing it nicely, and I've felt that I jump up more (instead of jumping too much forward) right now, but still think that it could be better. Wallpasses on the other hand are terrible. First is the height that I'm getting, and secondly is how I couldn't connect the grabbing the edge part with the climbup. I wanna work on my climbups particularly after wallpasses and also when my legs are low.

So much improvements in my jumps right now I feel that I can crane that shit soon at Sengkang. I wanna drill my basics or movements that I'm comfortable with now and not continue doing big stuffs. Also incorporate more runs into my training regimen. What I felt yesterday was something kind of like.. enlightenment. It really tells me that you can do anything you want if you really want to. The few stuffs I did there was what I used to tell myself and others that "I will do that one day", or some random stuffs I would think is 'impossible' or 'too hard' in the past, if I even thought of a possibility of doing things. The spot castle holds a some memories. It was the very first spot I train at, and also one of the most frequent spot I train in, until now I find that place one of the best places to ever train at. I haven't really got bored of it. I can tell I know castle pretty damn well, because everytime after school I will past by there and do a few moves, went to train there at night at several occasions, the time with my poser friends, the time with Wesley and friends, castle is still one of the best spot in Singapore. Don't get why people don't like that place. You can train everything over there.

Boreded. My mother as usual continue taking my POCKET MONEY now. Look at the extent she had gone to. I almost couldn't go to gym today but luckily had some spare cash. She is really too much and I made it well bloody clear if she even dare to think of taking my bursary, I'm sure to do something. I really cannot stand it already. Its all my money and none of hers. I seriously don't know what to say already. If you were me you confirm also cannot stand it.

Sometimes people can be so bloody unreasonable. I still remember about months back, when teachers are bloody unreasonable. Firstly, I merely bounced the ball in class and the teacher was fucking not happy, blah and blah then she wanna confiscate it. So be it, she go take herself lah. Then she kept warning me to give her the ball. Fuck if she want the ball take herself sia. And for that she decided to give me the pink form. LAME SIA. Oh, and there was another reason to it. I was doing the science homework, in her chinese (OH FUCK I HATE CHINESE) lesson because I have nothing else to do. I've already copied whatever shit that will not affect my results in my chinese exam at all. So I wanted to do my own homework which I need to passup on that day. She go confiscate it. You tell me whether it is correct or not. All this is on the same day, so I got really pissed, so I just bloody took back the homework from the table right after the lesson. She demanded me to return her but I just can't be bothered. The next few days (NOTE, ABOUT A WEEK LATER) she gave me the pink form. Bloody unreasonable sia. She say bouncing the ball affected my classmates. LOL, its not even making much noise, she is just too sensitive. Secondly she said when I copied my work finished, I can still read through my notes.. LIKE I EVEN CARE. SAD SIA. But of course given her attitude and obesity, and biasness and being so bloody unreasonable, I just bloody hell sign the pink form to make her happy, although she fail in life.

People like this are so darn bloody unreasonable, sad sia to have this people even passing through your life. Oh I forget to mention, right after that, I pretended to be ok with her, talk to her ask her question.. just on one very day, she was saying about "If I had a kid that will behave like Jonathan, blah blah" (jonathan is my classmate), then I jokingly said "Teacher don't worry, you won't have a kid." After she heard me, SHE GOT FUCKING ANGRY, and said stuffs like you want a second pink form, and all this kind of stupid stuff. FIRST, it was a joke but she took it so seriously. Maybe because the joke, is actually a fact, and also I hit the nail on the head, she probably is infertile or something. SECONDLY, everyone like to make jokes at her expense but she took it as a joke, but for me, she didnt. FUCK. THAT IS FUCKING UNFAIR. From then on I just fucking gave her attitude, ponteng her lessons, and sleep at her lessons. I REALLY CANT FUCKING BOTHER SIA, chinese already suck, and with a teacher like that, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET?
Oh I forget to mention, she complained to my form teacher (who is also retarded) about the stuffs I did, and because of that, my form teacher got a bad impression of me. And do you know what, when I was returning me the report book, he told me "You can get to the top 5 in level, or even top 3, but it is not because of your studies, but because of the bad side of you," I gave the "yeah yeah blah", because seriously sia, because of those few shits... he actually thought that it affected my studies. Lame sia..

Irritating sia. The reason why I bought up this topic is just recently, theres so unreasonable people in my house.. I mean seriously. Whats wrong with people lah. My mother is already one of them, unreasonably taking my money. Then my sister is so fucking selfish, she wants everything her way, and when she flares up everyone must accomodate to her likings. Like most people do anyway. Then my father usually the most cocky one, he's like one of the people in my life that I acted to be OK with but actually I hate him like fuck. For ALOT (fuck at least 20) of GOOD reasons. Its quite sad lah, to have 3 pain in the ass people in my house. I should include another one which is my brother, who now I dont even talk to him at all, since last time, about 6 months ago. That makes it 4 out of 5 people in my family (the other person is me of course). I don't know why though, when people say you are stupid (zhiyang), unreasonable and unfair (the chinese teacher (hey I really said that to her face and she gave like 1000 excuses to prove me wrong, crazy sia)), selfish (sister), and blah blah, THEY ARE REFUSE TO ADMIT IT, AND LIKE FELT SO INSULTED BY IT. I mean seriously man, its some BLOODY FACT and yet they can't face it. Irritating as fuck, really.

I digressed a bit too much. I find blogging the best way to rant down all your emotions and stuffs, although it is just about temporary. It really doesn't matter if no one reads it at all (because probably half of them couldn't relate to you as much), it does help. I guess I want to write more post about those kind of things, something similar to Frank Yang, that writes his thought about a topic.

Where was I.. oh yeah.
I wanted to also say something about the newcomers. Well just yesterday (again), I was at castle, and at castle there was two guys. They seem to also know "pahcour" and I did see them do something, but when we came, they just watch only, which is irritating, but no choice. Well... the thing is, they actually already know me. I didn't know, I thought they were just some losers that saw it on youtube or TV then just try out for fun.. just didnt have a clue about it at all. Thing is, when I came home and about an hour later I saw a new comment in my youtube profile (denester). SHOCKINGLY, THEY FUCKING KNOW ME. Which scared the shit out of my life. Damn. First thing I felt was like, WTF MAN, am I that famous? Well in this case its nothing to be happy off, because well, I don't really want to be well known to those irritating poser or shit, if some media thing that will OK, but still I PREFER to get the attention of the people in UK.

Ok thats not the point. The reason why I felt like very irritated to know that they are actually real posers and stuffs is like, from experience (people like yuanhan, irritating stupid people like him), if I do those big stuffs, the posers will go like "WOW!! WAHHH!!" like Zhiyang and sometimes it feels irritating, when it comes from the posers. Sure if people did a big jump of what is does look impressive, but the natural thought that comes to my mind when people (especially posers or other retarded people) say WAH is that they are really poser-ish and stupid. Don't know if its just me though. Secondly, is that they will go "WAH TODAY I MET CP AND I SAW HIM DID THIS JUMP, THIS ONE, THAT ONE, THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT!" and their friends will go "WAHHHHHHH!! I DON'T BELIEVE!! SIAOO!!" all those kind of poserish crap. The thing is, if no one thought of seeing a person do a move, they will either wont think of it, or will think of it but never think of doing it as its 'impossible'. But once they have seen a person, especially if that guy is "PRO" (FUCK I HATE THAT WORD), they will go wow first, then they will think it is so much more possible and will want to try that out next time, as their target or motivation. Irritating sia.

I've already realize this and I want to be original, and I don't see why must people keep following other people movement, and not find their own way. I just want to be able to do what I want to do, and find my own way. Its kinda stupid don't you think, to just copying everyone movement. Also thats another reason why I fear training with newcomers or just people I don't know or don't really like to be with. They will either ask you to do stuffs like "EHH CP CAN SHOW ME HOW YOU DO THIS LEH" and obviously go "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" like Zhiyang always do again. Irritaing sia the feeling. I know of people who actually memorised everything in my video. Crazy sia.. I make videos not for the poser to watch and tell me to do again, but to at least try to get across in the UK, to spark some attention over there. I've been supporting and following the UK parkour scene for a long time already, and it will be a dream to train with Teghead, PhillyD and Ilabaca. Sadly things get all so wrong.

Thats why for the Bishan jam, I keep in mind (and warned some others as well) to not do too much and don't do anything big, because of the reasons stated. Sometimes if you do a big stuff, then newcomer will actually try it out and undoubtedly fail in that case. I will just teach when I need to, train abit when I need to, and film most of the time. Its like that.. you can stop them. But then there might still be a chance to find out a hidden potential traceur... but its a rare chance.
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Poser, what defines a poser? Sure Dblucy, me, and probably half of everyone started out like a total poser. To me, theres a slight difference between one that has potential, and one that obviously does it for the thrill. First, I think if they have the genuine passion and heart to the sport, as in the neverending willingness and inquisitiveness to ask questions and experiment with things, read out the philosophy and train by themselves and condition and all that. They will find their own motivation, and develop oneself.
The reason why I feel so irked to train with the LastBreathClan, or watch backpacktraceurs' video and hear that engineer's self-proclaimed 153 IQ's calculations is that, I've learnt my lesson, thanks to the very first newcomer that I trained with. He is none other than Yuanhan and the undisputed world's worst poser of all time (that is because he has all the qualities a fucking retarded poser will have, and more). I don't see why should I waste my precious time on those names stated above as in the end all those people who call you out to train, is just wanna see the big guys do big stuffs, and in turn sucking up to them, keep asking them to train with you and irritate you further, take advantage of you (I know Yuanhan had learnt alot from me, but fuck it, all of it has gone to waste thanks to his freaking retarded mindset and attitude), and just plainly wasting your time. You guys say it is definitely worth it to help them up as after all you are one of the posers that more or less is brought up by the other traceurs. Sure, but theres an easier way. Set up occasional big jams like in every 2 or 3 months, and from there spot out any potential ones, and call them down for a jam or something.
If I received any guys asking me questions in youtube or anywhere else, adding me to msn randomly, I might just help out, but then until a point where they got too much on my nerve then I give up. Or I can just choose an easier way out, just don't really care much, thats right, I think I will just don't care much.

Thats my point of view.

Now then I understand why Nazir choose to not go for jams like this, and not make videos of him, not to be easily contacted, or call to many people to come for his training, only his close friends. Also I understand why he wants to treat this people coldly, because he knows that if he instil fear among those newcomers, they will be scared and won't want to train with him (which could be good), and also if they come and he yell and them, those people who are angry with him are probably those people who don't have the spirit to train. I don't think his insults are totally personal unless the guy did something to him or what, and most of the time he is joking. That is why, I think he is very smart in handling such things. Also, the clips that he post in his accounts is how he set the standard so high, especially the Nazir wall, which I think to some guys still think its impossible.

Got nothing to say about this people. I really don't want to train with newcomers, or if its a big jam something like this than I won't train too much infront of them. I just wanna train with people that I'm close with and such. Learnt my lesson already. Then again, I won't want to not make videos just because of this stupid people. I just won't even think of entertaining them. I will just go for the big jams and see for any potential ones. Its quite easy to see.

I've got alot of things to think about and talk about, but I lost track of time and I'm tired now. I wonder if anyone reads my blog, if anyone is reading this right now, at least tag man! So I know someone actually bothers to read the boring content of my blog.

Stressation.

2008-11-03T16:07:00.002+08:00

Nowadays I feel abit stress, over many things, feel like its really tiring to live. Few reasons, money, friends, trainings, school, time, myself, etc. I don't know how do I make myself less stress, I really need time out from trainings from the gym and really do what I like, movements. School is over, why am I actually stressing over them even though I've scored well? I don't know, next year's my majors and I'm really losing out the study mood, next year is would really be stressful. I'm really reluctant to spend money now because I really don't have money now, my parents always quarell over money, now theres economic probelms and so many other things, I always feel pain to even spend a dollar. Sucks man. And my friends in school, I really don't know if theres anyone who regard me as a proper friend, the feeling really sucks, but as long as no one really hates me, I should be happy enough. Time now is passing so fast, I think in almost a blink of an eye school reopens and it will really felt like what a fucking waste of time.

As you guys know I really, really wanna train properly in the holidays but one probelm. Around this time of the month, it always rains. Its kinda frustrating for that to happen, and I really wouldn't want to stay at home and not train even if it rains. I really need to work on my flips, because thats what I really suck at at the moment and I can't think of any other places that are suitable for learning flips. I really wanna train at prime but it will cost 15bucks + travel time. Sucks man, and then the other wise alternative would be the beach, yet again, troublesome (have to get wet and change), and kinda far as well. If it REALLY rains I'll just go to gym. Or train in the night.

The stuffs that I want to work on is wallpass and armjumps. The main thing is the stupid "JUMP UP 45degrees" thing. I always tend to jump way too forward ending up with so little height. This will definitely help in all aspect of movements, more so in running jumps and especially flips. I just wanna get my SDCs real consistent and powerful as well, and work on runs, to be real fluid in string of movements. I wanna get really good all-around, firstly in individual movements, then into real-time runs like showcased in my March 08 video. Work on my speed and power in movements, and also confidence and fluidity. I'll also want to work on my precision jumps, control. Thats about it. On training, I would try to make sure I don't do too much, just a quick good session of 1hour would be good enough, and of course not to do too much impactful stuffs, and not push my limits too much.

Strength training, left two weeks till I'll conclude the routine. 6 sessions more, and this will be really really tiring, as the intensity is so high right now, I'm almost maxing out, and right after that I can tell myself I'm no longer an 'intermediate' athletic anymore, and it will not be that easy for strength gains (I don't think I will be capable for weekly PRs after that). Right after that I will be deloading for like 3 weeks, then go there for practicing lifts like front squats and power cleans, deadlifts, just maintaining strength and probably protection, and definitely prevently atrophy. I wouldn't want to lose all my strength I've gain from the routine. I think I will start on another routine somewhere in January next year, when school starts. This is the time where I seriously concentrate on gaining strength and power. I want to see myself being able to squat a weight twice of my bodyweight, to be able to do an one arm chinup, and all the other feats. I wanna make a point to train my flips into 2nd nature, so I'll just do flips as and when I like during breaks or something.

Videos, ah yes. I will, make a movie-like video by the end of this year, and that would probably be the last video for a very long time, with the exception of the huge new years eve jam. For the year 2009 I will only make one video, that is my supposedly breakthrough video. Yet again as you've read, it will be yet again focusing way more on filming and editing more then movements. I wanna make this kind of a cinematography reel. A poor one, though. HAHA. I wonder what should I put as movements in the video. I guess some stuffs that I'm comfortable with. Don't really want to make it big and all. Probably will be using lotsa timelapse again (this time in HD), the signature for the May-July 08 video, and more style shots, and even some parts in a storyline.

I still ponder, should I train more alone, instead of infront of people and stuffs. Because I think I can focus way more, and not get distracted, or even do silly stuffs. I've said to the other guys that there will be mini-training sessions on saturdays, but I guess I'll just make one or two, just to get ready for the huge one at Clarke Quay. I really want to aim for improvement. Sometimes I don't understand why I want to make myself hit the squat rack, the motivation and discipline inside of me. I force myself to train despite my laziness and lethargy. I just want to improve myself, not knowing why. I guess it gives you a real sense of achievement, to see yourself improve and land a new move that you've never did before, or previously couldn't do, its something quite 'cool' to experience. Its definitely one of the best thing on Earth to progress. Also I really enjoy movements, it gives me freedom, to realize that in the world there is never a barrier that is too big or too scary to be deemed as impossible.

I've still alot of things to rant about. Once I get my bursary, I'm pretty certain that my mum we take about half of it. It really sucks man, to know that whatever you've worked hard for or at least something that is deservedly yours, is taken away from someone. First was Ang Pao money, then from my 400dollars overall work pay from MacDonalds (do you believe it? I've work so much, but I didn't even get to spend a single cent.), and now the Bursary. Fuck man, and she keep saying she will return. And whenever I rise the topic of it, she gets angry and say stuffs like "Parents cannot take money from son ah?", and she really really gets angry and gets to the mood of depression (usually act one lah like typical women, cry for sympathy.), and then just shout at everybody. I doubt she will even return me a cent, I swear. Pocket money is an obligation of a parent, and that is not counted as "returning the money you owe". Oh well cannot blame, as now the situation of my household is haywire, due to many probelms. Also whenever I ask for money back, they will go "what for you wanna have so much money for? don't spend so much money hor, nowadays we all no money already." Irritating sia. How am I even gonna get the things I want. Stupid man.

I can't really afford to waste anymore time right now, hais...

I guess I will be travelling around SG, to spots like Taman Jurong, Clementi, Bishan, Sengkang, Yishun, Jelapang, Pasir Ris, Clarke Quay, maybe some other places, mainly to expose myself to different environments (getting sick of Tampines, I will train there the next year when it is convenient), and to work on some unfinished business, including filming Ashton's showreel. I probably would just want to go there with just some people, not in a big group, and also get some footages from those trips.

Yet again I've rethinked about the statements I've written before. I'm a man of a mission as of that very day. Will I manage to achieve it? I guess, its time, that I'll prepare myself to attempt something, something of significance and extraordinary, which might be worthy enough to change my life. The time will come, I can already foresee it. 2010, my breakthrough year.

Another 365 Days Around The Earth.

2008-10-28T00:14:00.002+08:00

This year's birthday was a memorable one.
It is only around this year where my heart and mind was passionate to movements. I know this is my true passion and my way of living. Only then I felt I've found a missing jigsaw piece in my life puzzle, only then I felt that theres something to live for. It was just this time of my life where I have gotten to know some friends that I will never find in school or anywhere else. Traceurs do have a special bonding. I felt that my best friends ain't that one I find in my own class, not even in school, but some guys that I've met through the internet. Not just any net-pal, but guys that share the same interests with me. We might not know each other much yet but already there is a bond.

Previous birthdays was hardly celebrated. The most go out with family, I don't remember really celebrated with friends. See what I mean, no birthdays stands out. This year's one is different. Celebrated it with people doing the thing that we love. Even made a video out of it, with so much humour and fun throughout that day. Was a pity some guys couldn't make it, but nevermind. Thanks for everyone that came, felt it was really memorable, finally I can say I've enjoyed my birthday.

Thats bloody emotional. So not me.

OK lets talk about something else.
Missed a day of training today due to feel kinda tired from yesterday's jam. I know if I went I can't pull off my 100% (which is needed because its a Monday, probably the most tiring of the other 3 days of week (of training)). Everything will be shifted one day back, guess it will still be cool. 9 more trainings left, before I can kinda relax from strength training. Sometimes I have no motivation to go for those trainings but I know I have to because its for my own good. I have to force myself to go (shouldn't be the case as I should have the natural motivation to train), but once this 3 weeks are over (the MOST torturous weeks, all attempts around max), I can finally feel free from the crutches of hell. Seriously thats how it feels. Although strength training is bloody fun, squatting and all, they are tiring and torturous. I wonder how much will I gain from this. I will see the full results around December, and will continue my next routine after 2 or 3 weeks of break (from proper strength training). I will still gym, just deloading my lifts and lessen my body stress, and train more on movements.

I plan to train movements properly now. You know repetition is the key to everything so, I guess I want to nail some stuffs repeatedly in trainings. I want to nail 3rd bench SDC2P at Dino properly and constantly, get used to it, and the level SDC2P at Shinos one too. I think I'm drilling too much on SDC though, as they are my favourite movements (thus I'm kinda skilled in them), and my other movements are sucky. I wanna drill more on precisions (especially running precisions), arm jumps (especially running armjumps), wallpasses, runs, lache, and all the other stuffs. Flips as well, I kinda lost them, was trying them a few days ago and IT WAS SUCKY. So much work to do during the holidays. Have to make sure I respect my body and not overtrain and stress my body too much, or do any impactful shit, and I will want to have controlled, powerful, strong, and fluid movements.

Lazy to write more..

Still not sure whether I want to find a job, still not sure whether I could.
School's a bore, isn't really 'holiday' yet, until 3rd Nov.

Some random other thoughts (written a few days ago)
I always aim to be original, trying to find my own ways and style. I like to be the first guy who land a certain something, for example I think I nailed the Shino's SDC to precision first. Because it shows that I don't need a person to nail that to deem it as 'possible'. I wanna prove it myself. Thing is. After nailing the move, many people will take that as an aim, well to someone 'it makes it so much more possible' after seeing a person (for his case, a person like me), in other words, people will copy my movements. I admit I definitely had copied other traceur's movements and etc., but still its always better to try to find your own ways. Also, to me I sometimes see copying as something competitive. Its like trying to do what others can. Guess many people will think what is wrong copying a movement? Competitiveness. I'm not saying its totally bad, but everyone should once in awhile discover their own movements, and not copy everything blindly.. and obviously know why they choose to copy such a movement.

Next, nowadays I get pretty fucked up that Parkour has got so mainstream, don't have the underground feeling anymore. Thats so retarded and gay. Now everyone will jump around and calling it Parkour. Its so fucking lame. Media is so gonna fuck it up, and when people like us do stuffs like that at the streets, typical teenagers will go "WAH PARKOUR AH," "what he doing, PARKOUR AH?", "ask him do frontflip LEH!". This is sooooooooooo typical. And the adults will go "DON'T DO ALL THIS DANGEROUS STUFFS AND RISK YOURSELF!", and some people will just give you the face that shows "this kid got nothing better to do". Seen enough, but still piss me off everytime. So fucking hate those assholes.

Another thing. I wonder why flips appeal to people so much. Well sure its nothing wrong with learning flips. But why everyone wants to do them so much? I'll tell you my honest reasons. I don't train parkour, or tricking. I do l'art du displacement, or just movements. I want to have complete control and awareness over my body, including flips. I want to learn how to control my body. Its the same reason why I do SDC, Armjump, etc., flips are the same - movements. And they are fun. Its nothing about the cool factor. Also overcoming the mental barrier in flips, to be confident with myself.

That's all for today.

Recent Ponders.

2008-10-16T16:55:00.004+08:00

Exams are over. Yay. But lessons are not. Sucks.
Although things are getting lighter in load, I'll still have to suffer waking up in the morning going to school, listening to the teachers scolding us for the poor results (as in the others, not me), some lessons are pure slack, might as well go home sleep, while other lesson watch movie, some ok ok, but the others are pure shit.. I have to go still because some lessons, like maths and science are still continuing the syllabus, till sec 4. What the gay.. also the first 2 weeks of holidays.. I have to go back school for freaking 3hours for 6 days.. feel like dying man.

Lets not talk about stupid school and studies..

I've been thinking about some stuffs lately, about the things I want to do, to train for, to become, and to be capable of. I guess during not-so-holiday-ish holiday, I'm gonna get back to training movements, like I've said before. 14th Nov would be last day of my 5x5 routine, so the week after that I will relax from strength training, about a two weeks break (while still going to gym for light training), and continue my next routine thereafter. I only want to train movements like once a week (at most two), focusing alot on building up my strength, especially in my legs. And also since now I have much more free time, I hope to seriously train for my handstands, bar tricks, and all those other light stuffs.

About videos, I've made a birthday jam, first time in my life I've thought of actually, having a proper birthday. I've never, ever, had a proper one at all. Either only with my family, heading out to like swensens/jack's place/whatever other restuarant to eat, or hmmm during primary school I've actually went out with my friends. It kinda suck when, during your birthday you got no one to celebrate with, if you actually know what I mean. To tell you the truth, no matter how 'lively' I seem in school, I don't really think I have 'real' friends, and I don't know what would you really call a true friend. Its quite fortunate to actually be popular amongst the friends you be with, and how I admire those people who are well-liked and have good connections between their friends. I'm like just those people what they will call 'friends'. Its just a "friend", hardly any big deal. Its like when you're absent no one cares, whereas when the popular ones when he didn't come to school, people will go 'Sian arh, CP never come." I do not carry weight to much people I guess, but all I can say is, whoever they are, they will happy to actually know me as a friend one day.

Ok, that was really off-topic. I can't believe I've talk about videos, and end up talking about friends and crap. Anyway... back to videos. The birthday jam video will be one of them, I hope it will be a fun jam, and it will be tampines, the day before my actual birthday (26th Oct, Sunday). Next video I'm working on, SHOULD be Ashton's showreel (as he will say "if I make it this year, it will not be up to standard, if I don't make one this year, people will be disappointed."). I'm not sure whether I will still wanna make the "Turning over a new leaf" video due to the fact that SHINOS CONSTRUCTION WILL ONLY BE DONE IN LIKE 2 YEARS+!!!!! I guess I will just compile the clips from the last quarter of the year into a video, just to note progression. Last but not least the New years' eve Jam. If there will be a Bishan PKSG Jam, It will probably be worked on, and posted on Ashton's account. Also, if Qayyim were to visit us anytime in December, be prepared for the part two of 'PKSG May Jam', can't wait.

I will be making more and more training sessions during the holidays, calling down the guys I've always train with, so we can train together. Most of them will be on saturday, figured that it will be actually the best day for training. Not only to train and have fun but to also strengthen bonds between traceurs. I guess I will start training seriously and properly, and more practice on my flips.

I figured on what I want. I've seen so many videos of guys doing backflips, some 360 twists, 720, or even 1080, and not suprisingly double flips, and blah blah. They might be impressive, but they are really forced, uncontrolled, and not to mention bloody low, and hardly landed. I don't like that, I hate that. I want backflips that has good air, standing frontflips and sideflips with good landings (won't land like bent knee, just like a normal jump), slowly proceeding to combos, and gainers and etc., I want controlled flips, not poorly landed ones. Also, I want to be able to do them AT ANYTIME and ANYWHERE. So its like right now, I just stand up from my chair and do a GOOD backflip right away (without warmup, without thinking), land nicely barefooted on my house's floor. Thats how much of a second nature I want it to be.

I know that will take sometime. During my trainings, I too wanna find my own way, develop my style of moving, and discover my path. I want to have my own unique style of moving, like how Blane, Daniel Ilabaca and Dim Monk has their own. I aim for total control over my body - in any forms of movements. And I've also thought of this - My SDC might be good, but I want to raise the bar really high, as in really high, because I know many others have SDC's way further, stronger, fluid, and more properly controlled then mine. Not comparing, but exposing myself to some real challenges. As you see the huge SDC to Pre at Danny's showreel, I want to be able to get that kind of distance. Also the standard of the guys in England are WAY WAY huger then Singapore, and if I want to go London and be able to put my skills to real test, I must seriously develop my skills here, own the places here, before I think of heading there. Things over there are way more different from here. ;)
But of course I won't want to focus on just my SDC, but in my movements overall. Wallpasses are one of my weakest. I sure want to improve my fluidity in movements, and runs. Probably also in running precisions, stuffs that I've been playing on recently. I wouldn't want to keep doing high elements because they ARE dangerous, and I guess I already had enough of it. Ofcourse every other movements, I don't wanna leave them out. Movements like catleap, precision, other vaults, flips, lache, everything. And like I said earlier, I want to 'master' them as much as possible, making them second nature, and having complete control and air awareness over my movements and body.

I'm not gonna lie but my knee ain't 100% healed yet. I really hope they will be fully recovered as soon as possible, and by 14th November.

Strength training on the other hand, I'm really starting to like it alot. I really need to get that power to jump that high, and the bestest way to do it is squats. Surely I want to see my improvements after 14th Nov, and I hope I could settle down everything by that date, including the planning of my next routine. And on that two weeks before I start on the next routine, I will do light training in the gym, and start getting back to proper movements training. After the two weeks I will only do movements once a week, all the way strength training, and practice alot on handstands and bartricks. I think my improvement will skyrocket when I see myself after my O Levels. Train for strength, doing movements once a week, concentrating on my studies etc., focusing on my goals and keep everything in balance.

I'm not sure whether I'm gonna get a job this holidays, because if I do, I have to really reschedule everything to fit the job, and I won't have as much free time, things will get really hectic, but then I guess I need to earn alittle money, and to earn money is not easy. I don't know what job though, and I would really need to schedule everything properly, hopefully I can meet the job requirements (people won't hire you if you only work 4 hours a day, or only one or two times a week.. not like MACDONALDS (which is also another reason why they give lousy pay)). Also I want a job that give good pay and blah blah, I don't know man.

As I've said, things will be way different now, and I must discipline myself and train seriously if I want to justify my statement.

My statement.

2008-10-08T12:19:00.005+08:00

This is a serious post.

I'll come back to this post in a few years time, and see if I've achieved what would be my ultimate goal for life. I'll hide this here and I know one day, this post, will have its justified significance. I don't know when, but it will. This post will be something, and it will only make sense, after a few more years. I mean it.

That being said, please read the following lengthy post.
I've come to realize, that no matter what others say about this or that, ultimately, whether its correct or wrong, right or not, its up to the person. I'll think that many people will change their impression of me when they read this post. I'm gonna be honest in the post - all my true thoughts in mind translated into words at its purest form, no exaggaration, no lies.
Theres a reason why I've invited you guys to my blog, only you guys. So far only 11 readers. Although I might not know some of you well enough, I know you guys will be Singapore's most talented traceurs. Thing is, I want to make traceurs not just people we all train with, but a bigger bonding. Also the main reason why I've invited you here is that I trust you all, and I want you to know my thoughts/history/trainings. And obviously the reason why I make this private is because this content is private, and if my friends manage to stumble upon this blog, they're gonna go retarded and shit, and thats just irritating.
You guys will be the witnessing what I've said now, and in time to come, you will witness what I am then.
If you guys still think that post is funny or unserious, or I wanna act big or this post is trash and retarded, see the huge red X at the right top hand corner, click it, really. People like Zahid. Try making fun of this post.

Lets cut the crap and zoom in to the main point.
Why am I making this post all-so-dramatic? I'm gonna state my opinions and thoughts of my life - for the future.

I find that, I don't just wanna be a traceur, any ordinary traceur, or freerunner or a person in that sense. I don't wanna be seen just like that. I wanna be more professional, more prominent, and more stronger. I'm talking about people like Chase Armitage, Daniel Ilabaca, they are definitely one of the most professional freerunners that ever existed and they are really inspiring. Look at them, they travel round the world, have professional cameraman helping to make their showreels or films, being known worldwide, having a team that love moving as well, you name it. They're very professional. I wanna have the ability to travel around the world, come to think of it, exploring and travelling is very fun, not to be stuck at Singapore which is a fucking lame country. And more prominent? I actually wanna be more known towards the UK scene, because I've always wanted to go there, and I've been following them for quite awhile. I have thoughts of studying there in the future as well. To be known in Singapore? I don't know, I don't really like that. And stronger, thats for sure, everyone wants to be stronger.
Just to clarify terms. Being more prominent does not equals to wanting to impress or show off to others. Its just simply the fact of being more known.
Well, I've thought of performing in my school for teachers day probably next year, but the thought of it, however tempting, I'm just scared about what my friends will think.. and how would I be in front of a crowd, that knows me. Imagine the slating you will receive after the performance (Its not Parkour, its tricks), friends will go all retarded over you.. and those jealous ones will go saying "SHOW OFF!". Whats your thoughts of this? I'm not sure yet, still considering. Since about July I have this thoughts already.

Why all this wants? Like I said earlier, I wanna be more professional. I don't just wanna be somebody that can do stuffs in like a few months. Not wanting to be better then others, but just to be somebody that isn't easy to become. I wanna get sponsored (not by UFF!), by companies and if possible AirAsia, it would be so cool to get free trips + countless of benefits with those sponsors.
Prominent as well. I think most of the people like being more well known, as if you don't you wouldn't even have thoughts of making a video of yourself and post it in the internet. One thing about this is once you get the prominence you want, its not easy backing out, and like the famous saying, with great power comes great responsibility. The question is, is it wrong with intentions of being more prominent? Not famous or popular, only prominent. Not to that extent till you are recognised when you walk on the streets, or being seen on TV and shit, its just like being featured in Generation Ex, that amount of prominence, just your name being written in the news paper, internet, but not everywhere. Its like, how you see Teghead in the internet, and thats how much of prominence I want. Remember, I'm not wanting to be some attention whore that show off and try to impress people. If thats not enough, when I say I wanna be prominent, I don't mean wanting to have a lot of power. My mind's clear.

That said, I've alot of thoughts in mind, that I wanna train properly for, and I'm gonna make history. My showreel for the next year would be a hit, at least I hope it will. And I'm not gonna be that person at home slacking away, sitting there and do nothing, or pcc like you-know-who. I wanna do something with my life. I'm gonna climb this mountain from now (training), and will eventually reach the peak (achieve my aims).
My passion for filming and editing also, might be handy for the future (they are two seperate things that I like, I don't learn editing just for the sake of making videos, they are a passion.) And since movements have already become a part of me (I move to live, and live to move), I see no reason why I can't use them into proper use.

Because I'm a nice guy I'm summing this whole post up into 6 major points.
MAIN THINGS I WANNA DO/AIM/ACHIEVE IN LIFE.
- Being more prominent
- Get sponsors
- Live life meaningfully and to the fullest
- Travel 'round the world
- Make a short film
- Make history

However absurd or unbelievable this post may sound to you, believe it.
And no, I have no thoughts of being a stuntman or professional chereographer, but maybe a filmmaker.

Like what Chase Armitage would said.
Anything is possible for those who are willing to try.
I'm gonna transform those words into reality.
Dreams and beliefs are very, very powerful. I've never thought of being up here with the rest, but here I am right now.

Hope you guys have grasped the point that I'm trying to make and I hope you accept my decision. Commenting, tagging, msn-ing me your thoughts is very much appreciated, I really wanna know what are your impressions and actual honest opinions, especially Ashton.

Stuffs is gonna be way different from now.
The bar is raised.
I'm gonna make history.
I wanna do something with my life.

Enlightenment?

2008-09-29T19:20:00.002+08:00

For a long while since I've last blogged. No one cares though.
This post is to clear up the spiderwebs and dusts formed in the one month of stagnancy.

My knee is alright now, and I've been way stronger then ever (not really), into the 4th week already in my 5x5, and exams are undergoing right now (wonder why am I still here..), starting to learn more things about Vegas and my camera.. but still have many things to work on, movements are ok-ok, lifes nothing out of the ordinary as yet, and I guess a fullstop is needed right now.

I feel that I'm slowly back to what I used to feel last time when I do strength training, just that now I have a routine to follow strictly. Now I eat alot more protein that I usually use to. I got a couple of clips in my computer, and I really don't know whether I should compile those new one into for a CP'08, but then I don't see the point. I'm just gonna keep it. I'm only making a sampler till next year. Shinos ramps gonna be finish construction in 2 years, said construction worker. FUCK!
OH BTW, Remember the Clementi Jam video? At the ending theres some guy in black said he is going to do a gap jump, and he goes something like "SEE THIS GAP OVER HERE? yeap, this will be for my showreel THIS YEAR!" hmmm.. so its gonna be THIS YEAR, right? HAHA. Dblucy's sampler is on the go, while Fred's sampler is on hold. I guess the only videos that are gonna be in my account at the end of this year will be the "turning over a new leaf" video and probably the PKSG JAM 08 video. If I have the mood, maybe I'll compile those new clips from the latest quarter of the year into a video... or maybe not.

Anyway, I just move on and start to talk about one of the few reasons why I actually wanted to blog today.
Well, I just realize, after listening to what Glen said, and reading Blane's latest entry, something really 'shocking'. We all know that not serious traceurs or just posers will eventually quit, thats no doubt. But how do we classify serious and non-serious, or even not-so-serious traceurs? Or how do we define seriousness in such cases. I feel that, people who are really serious in Parkour (or whatever), trains alone most of the time, research on their own, have the natural motivation to go out and train. People who only train when people call them out (or viceversa), or just give excuses not to train, are not serious in Parkour, no matter what they think they are, or how they seem serious in the discipline, or what they know or say.
Seriously, even people who train up to 2 years and counting, are they really 'serious'? Or do they just treat this like another sport? I see people leaving after less then half a year of training (phantokour), see people leaving or losing interest after almost reaching half a year, see people moving into shuffle and such other craps. Alot of the pioneers as well, they seem to lose out interest, due to NS, jobs, school, whatever other excuses. It beats me, how this a discipline and it will stick to you FOR LIFE, no matter how busy you are or what you WILL find time to train. Once you can go on the internet, you HAVE time. Fucking' play psp and pcc and say excuses like lazy or tired will get you nowhere.
But, actually to think of it in another perspective, seriousness is something that you can't force. A person who is passionate enough won't need pushing or motivation from others. When you tell that one person that he is 'not serious' he will get all angry and shit and try to prove you wrong by acting serious. Whatever for? If you are really serious you wouldn't even care a shit.
Do you want me to go on to the harsh fact? To alllllllll the traceurs I know in SG, I can only say, a few handfuls are seriously serious in PK. Want a number? Less then 5. And this people WONT lose interest and shit at all. I'm not talking about myself anyway, I wouldn't know whether I'm serious or not, and I'm not the one who can say that I'm serious.
No matter how skilled or how many years one person train, or how they claim they do research and stuffs, it doesn't matter. What really defines seriousness to me, is DISCIPLINE. I'm not gonna brag or what, but when people say stuffs like alot of homework or projects or no time because alot of ____________, I'm having exams now but I still go to gym 3 days a week. Think about it.
If you read this and you feel guilty for whatever reasons, it just shows how weak your discipline is towards this. I think you yourself know who you are, don't even ask.

Next up, mental training.
Been realizing alittle bit more on fear. From the Bishan Jam not long ago, theres this catleap that I was thinking of trying. I'm definitely capable of it, but its just the fear of missing the top or losing grip that stop me from jumping. Should we adapt a JUST DO IT mindset? The reason why last time I was able to do many stupid stuffs was the fact that I was the person who 'just whack only'. I guess somehow, and some point, you just have to use that mindset, IF you know you can. For example, if you don't think you can, but yet you still just whack (to impress, to showoff, to prove that you can to others or what), even if you manage to nail it, its nothing respectable about. It just shows your recklessness and your mindset of training. But if you are 100% sure that you are capable of the move, and its just the fear that pulls you back, I think using the JUST FUCKING DO IT mindset could work, but definitely with full focus and concentration.
Many people will also argue back, whats the point of doing such movements that might cause your life? Many people will also won't even think of training such stuffs. Well, I think its based on personal opinion but, in Parkour, don't you train to overcome all sort of obstacles, include fear and mental barriers? Don't you train to adapt to any environment, in this case, at heights? Don't you train to be a master of your movements, including at heights? Whats the point of doing 'perfect' precisions and yet when its at a 10 storey building, your legs shivers like no one business? Of course its not recommended to train it ALL the time though.
The first real high element I did was just two days ago with Dblucy, and in an event where dblucy almost killed himself (won't go into deeper details, msn me), I did a 4 storeys gap SDC to PRE (which I think was kinda far as well), and it was a great achievement, and I really am getting to the mix of things right now. I want high elements! I'm gonna nail that cat leap at bishan... soon. And after that I'm raiding Buangkok.

COCK TO CO, BYE.

Turning over a new leaf.

2008-08-23T21:02:00.004+08:00

I'm back to training.
with a better camera!

Lots of things happened and I guess right now its time to change for the better.

After the incident where I lost all my stuffs, things hadnt been very good, especially of the loss of the camera and my new hp. But whatever, put the past behind us, right now thanks to a rich-ass guy and his kindness, he bought me a Canon HV30, which is the camcorder I've been saving up to buy. Since I've got already, now to get back a simple Sony Ericsson Walkman phone, I would have more or less recovered everything I got - and better.

My knee injuries, and my wrists and toe, are gone now and I'm feeling alot better. I've started back strength training in the gym, although I've really lost some of my strength (which I'm quite sure to get back in a few more trainings' time), I'm quite happy to be back training. My form is still quite OK, and I've definitely think its time to restart training and prepare to start my routine, which is the Bill Starr 5x5, which I've read and researced over the net, and really, many people have said good things about it. I can't wait to get alot stronger, still not satisfied with the strength I'm at now, until after I get more 2x bodyweight squat, my life will be twice as good.

I tried to said "my life would be complete", but its seems kinda stupid because I can never be satisfied with my life as everything still has room for improvement, no matter what. I should say, "It would be another piece to the puzzle of my life." (although that sounds quite ironic because the puzzle would not be complete, which i'd explained earlier on)

With the new camcorder with me right now (which I got for free, amazingly), there will be alot more new videos I hope to make. Including a video called "turning over a new leaf", which is mostly a test on my new cameras quality, while show the guys about my new training - consisting of only small movements, emphasis on control, fluidity and smoothness. And PKSG jam videos. Of course more videos when I have the idea. Probably one consisting more of editing and filming, I want to make a video editing/filming/cinematography showreel somewhere when I think my skills are up there.

Been researching alot more on the HV20 and Sony Vegas, as well as learning more on filming and editing, along with strength training and stuffs. Although I could say I'm quite knowledgeable and good with these stuffs, I have so much more to learn. SO MUCH MORE! As an old wise man once said, "Amongst the tallest of mountains, there will be another taller one. Amongst the deepest of oceans, there will still be another deeper one." (actually its a chinese idiom I heard of, but who bloody cares, as long as they are along the lines of that.

Been listening and downloading musics like never before, really finding and hunting for songs such as Drum and Bass, Alternative hiphop, Indie Rock, all kinds of nice songs. I think any song as long as its nice, could fit a video if you know how. I'm recovering all the songs that I've lost thru my Ipod. One by one. I wanna watch more movies, especially from Isenseven and Mack Dawg Productions. Their videos are sick, they are so fucking awesome, so inspirational, I seriously wanna be like them - Indie filmmaker, only that its not snowboarding, but rather on L'art du displacement.

So much more to learn. Just wanna make more videos, get better and more knowledgeable in filmmaking and video editing, get so much stronger, ger better in movements and stuffs, and only then I would be satisfied with my life.

I really cant wait to get back into training.

It has been awhile..

2008-08-10T11:21:00.001+08:00

Nowadays its really slacky, I've been doing lame boring and mundane stuffs. Just because my knee cocks up every now and then. I don't know whether its healed anot, when will it be fully healed or not. Its stupid. Its nearly more then 1 1/2 months of rest yet its not recovered. Just because of a stupid incident. And then just recently I lost my camera and all my valuables of mine, life can't suck any harder.

Its been a battle within myself, its been a torture, looking back to the day when I lost my stuffs, how foolish and careless I was, how regretful and remorseful I was. Camera, Ipod, wallet and a new hp, all lost, and some other stuffs, that all requires money. Why am I so careless. Why do I treat my valuables so nonchalantly, all this causing me to regret as hell now, and whenever I think back to that day, it really sucks.

To be happy in this world, you really need money, friends, and love.

So what now, being stucked at home doing nothing, always had the sudden thought of filming or taking some photos looking at the sky, then thought about the camera, and get messed up again. This is really sad, why did I left my bag there, why. Then I always thought of the possibilities of not going up the carpark, or better still, not going that day. Things could be alot better, but alas, its not gonna happen. Time is not gonna rewind itself.

Oh well.

Anyway as I'm heading closer and closer to recovery, and I seriously have to start planning my routine.
I will be doing the Bill starr 5x5 routine. Increasing my 5repmax.
Heres the rough outline.
-posting picture and more info later-

I guess after so long a break I have already lost lots of power and some strength, and my mood isn't up there yet (but that doesn't matter as because whatever it is I would have to start training when my knee is recuperated and not laze around and waste more time), and my form more or less had slackened. I did do a little bit more research on general strength training (and thus developed my new routine which I have high hopes for), and playing around with my videos. I wanna learn more on after effects and prepare myself for future works. Trying to learn more functions within Sony Vegas and After Effects. I don't want to be just another video which a person could learn to do like in 3 days. I want professional work.

Speaking about this subject, I've already have some ideas in my mind for my upcoming video, which I said in a few posts back, about my "CP 2009" sampler, which would be a huge hit I hope. Well I will be writing a huge description about what I am aiming and doing in the video. Like I said I will be doing alot of training on my tricking as my flips are still bullshit, and more on l'art du displacement and movements. I got some sick ideas in mind that I would like to film for my video, and I will make sure they are all well within my standard and I wouldn't take 100 tries for that big movement for the video.

But for now, I should focus on strength training and start the movements shit around mid November. at least 3 months of strength training before I head towards the impactful stuffs, to make sure I'm much stronger to handle the impacts. But I will definitely be traning at least 3x in the gym, while 1 or 2 (maybe more) movements days, depending on the situation. And I wanna make the movements session last not more then 2 hours, and make sure I don't impact myself and do stupid stuffs, and do things which is not near my maximum (in other words, small stuffs which I'm well capable of), keep focused and concentrated and play along with movements. Sticking to schedule as well.

I think I have cleared up my mind about why am I filming stuffs and posting it on youtube. Its not to gain internet fame, or gain respect and recognition, nor to impress or show off my skills, to show others how good I am or what. I like to film and edit. I want to share my videos with others. I like the sense of achievement when I see that my videos was a huge hit. To note progression too. Although I admit at times I do big stuffs for the camera, but I think for the latest videos, I should be doing things that is within my limits, whether or not it looks big, as long as I don't force myself for that cool, big movements, its fair enough. I want the video to be original too. I couldn't let go the fact that when you make a video, theres an intention to make the video look nice sometimes, to look presentable, although it shouldn't be, I guess thats just so small error of us with making a video.

And then I still feel that sometimes newcomers are still, irritating as usual, but then, I kept on talking to them, helping them, I don't know why, despite the fact that I already told myself to mind my own business many times already. So now, for real, I will not entertain them, and mind my own business, when they talk, just give brief answers and don't bother about them. No point, they are hopeless whether you help them or not. They don't change in mindset, skills doesn't bloody matter. They take advantage of you, stealing informations every now and then, then in the end, don't appreciate for what you had done, so why bloody care.

Whatever, good night.

Rest, rest, rest.

2008-07-27T01:36:00.002+08:00

My knee injury is on and off.
The reason behind it - Simple. I keep re-injuring it over and over again. How? By doing movements.. small movements even, jumping around my house, I think I'm too used to it. I just can't stay stagnant at home not moving at all. Really. But then I don't how long its gonna take to finally get my body back to its top form. My left knee is suffering for what-the-doctor-said a overuse injury, so its cool, just need a good rest and it should be fine.

Another reason is that I kinda rushing for it to heal. So that time when it was actually healed lke 80-90%, I go out and did squats, which I know that I still have the pain, and after the training when I head home, the pain worsened. Although probably to others the urge to train is very good, but when you're injured you're much better off staying at home instead of rubbing salt on the wound. So nowadays, I stayed at home trying not to head outside at all. But still, I have temptation to move.

Then I realize, this is the time I should really put in effort to control my body and not give in to temptations, because if I don't, and let my foolishness result into more disaster, then things aren't gonna be so nice anymore. As my condition now isn't really that bad as compared to tendonitis, anterior cruciate ligament pains, fractured ligament, meniscus tear... I should really not take things for granted. I really think if it takes another few more weeks to recover, so be it.. or not it will turn out even longer then expected, which is something that nobody wants. I'm sure excited on my new strength training routine that I really wanna start working on, but if my knee is not up for it, how am I gonna start it? I really should rest, rest properly, not even a single movement which requires the knee (except walking and really necessary things).

Its been one month. The whole of July I've used to rest my knee, but then its not even healed yet. I guess it will cut in till the first week of August, thats what I hope. I think only then I would finally start my strength training. But theres no rush, if it means more time, then theres no choice. Anyway, I feel like, dedicating alot alot of time on it rather then movements. I think this is the time of my life that I should putting alot of emphasis on strength, as I think I'm hitting my puberty soon, then by next year I will be quite bulky. And taller too, probably. And of course I wanna be more prepared for movements so I don't get knee probelms such as the one I'm suffering from now. And no movements = less injuries. So play safe.

So I'll still stick to what I've originally planned - August, September, October, strength training purely. Nov and Dec, probably one or two days a week on movements, strength training too. 2009 I would probably still train as hard, but more days on movements and tricks, probably if possible I should be spend 30mins - 1hr practicing a particular movements, then rest, then head to gym again, to benefit more. I'll see what will come, but then for the rest of this year, I'll put a big emphasis on strength training, and next year you guys will see a much stronger CP.

Oh and the picture at the top needs some adjustments. :P
Just a small update on my current situation now. HAHAHAHAHA.