It has been awhile..

Nowadays its really slacky, I've been doing lame boring and mundane stuffs. Just because my knee cocks up every now and then. I don't know whether its healed anot, when will it be fully healed or not. Its stupid. Its nearly more then 1 1/2 months of rest yet its not recovered. Just because of a stupid incident. And then just recently I lost my camera and all my valuables of mine, life can't suck any harder.

Its been a battle within myself, its been a torture, looking back to the day when I lost my stuffs, how foolish and careless I was, how regretful and remorseful I was. Camera, Ipod, wallet and a new hp, all lost, and some other stuffs, that all requires money. Why am I so careless. Why do I treat my valuables so nonchalantly, all this causing me to regret as hell now, and whenever I think back to that day, it really sucks.

To be happy in this world, you really need money, friends, and love.

So what now, being stucked at home doing nothing, always had the sudden thought of filming or taking some photos looking at the sky, then thought about the camera, and get messed up again. This is really sad, why did I left my bag there, why. Then I always thought of the possibilities of not going up the carpark, or better still, not going that day. Things could be alot better, but alas, its not gonna happen. Time is not gonna rewind itself.

Oh well.

Anyway as I'm heading closer and closer to recovery, and I seriously have to start planning my routine.
I will be doing the Bill starr 5x5 routine. Increasing my 5repmax.
Heres the rough outline.
-posting picture and more info later-

I guess after so long a break I have already lost lots of power and some strength, and my mood isn't up there yet (but that doesn't matter as because whatever it is I would have to start training when my knee is recuperated and not laze around and waste more time), and my form more or less had slackened. I did do a little bit more research on general strength training (and thus developed my new routine which I have high hopes for), and playing around with my videos. I wanna learn more on after effects and prepare myself for future works. Trying to learn more functions within Sony Vegas and After Effects. I don't want to be just another video which a person could learn to do like in 3 days. I want professional work.

Speaking about this subject, I've already have some ideas in my mind for my upcoming video, which I said in a few posts back, about my "CP 2009" sampler, which would be a huge hit I hope. Well I will be writing a huge description about what I am aiming and doing in the video. Like I said I will be doing alot of training on my tricking as my flips are still bullshit, and more on l'art du displacement and movements. I got some sick ideas in mind that I would like to film for my video, and I will make sure they are all well within my standard and I wouldn't take 100 tries for that big movement for the video.

But for now, I should focus on strength training and start the movements shit around mid November. at least 3 months of strength training before I head towards the impactful stuffs, to make sure I'm much stronger to handle the impacts. But I will definitely be traning at least 3x in the gym, while 1 or 2 (maybe more) movements days, depending on the situation. And I wanna make the movements session last not more then 2 hours, and make sure I don't impact myself and do stupid stuffs, and do things which is not near my maximum (in other words, small stuffs which I'm well capable of), keep focused and concentrated and play along with movements. Sticking to schedule as well.

I think I have cleared up my mind about why am I filming stuffs and posting it on youtube. Its not to gain internet fame, or gain respect and recognition, nor to impress or show off my skills, to show others how good I am or what. I like to film and edit. I want to share my videos with others. I like the sense of achievement when I see that my videos was a huge hit. To note progression too. Although I admit at times I do big stuffs for the camera, but I think for the latest videos, I should be doing things that is within my limits, whether or not it looks big, as long as I don't force myself for that cool, big movements, its fair enough. I want the video to be original too. I couldn't let go the fact that when you make a video, theres an intention to make the video look nice sometimes, to look presentable, although it shouldn't be, I guess thats just so small error of us with making a video.

And then I still feel that sometimes newcomers are still, irritating as usual, but then, I kept on talking to them, helping them, I don't know why, despite the fact that I already told myself to mind my own business many times already. So now, for real, I will not entertain them, and mind my own business, when they talk, just give brief answers and don't bother about them. No point, they are hopeless whether you help them or not. They don't change in mindset, skills doesn't bloody matter. They take advantage of you, stealing informations every now and then, then in the end, don't appreciate for what you had done, so why bloody care.

Whatever, good night.