Thoughts crawling in my mind.

Was a really long time that I last updated myself of the reason I change.

I'd like to re-read what I've posted in the past and see how much my thoughts change and the progress I'm making in my mind. I've decided to keep this opened for viewers, but still I wish to keep it underground. If one guy manage to find their way here, good then, but I don't really care.
I've thought to myself time and again, and still wonder why do I train so hard for? What drives me to go out and train? What am I training for? What do I want to be, or what do I want to do? What am I trying to achieve with all this?
Usually all this answers won't come directly to you, sometimes it will just pop by in your mind out of a sudden. It is because such questions are unique to everyone, and when people don't bother to answer those questions with honesty, or fail to give an acceptable answer to himself, its just really sad. Do we really train, so that one day we can finally put them into good use? Or really is it because we wanna be stronger, healthier, fitter, active, whatever? All these cliched examples that I've heard more then enough. Does anybody really just think about what they are even pushing themselves for? Or are they just not that serious at all, just train for the sake of training? As the saying goes yet again, Seb Foucan said "Without philosophy, action has no meaning." If you are heading in no definition direction with what you are doing now, chances are you won't stick this for long.
I don't really like it when people just give answers, that are like so stereotyped, reasons that are already heard so many times. They probably just copy and pasted from what someone have said, from some website, or something. Whether they are honest in their reasons or not is up to them, its not like I or anyone else can do anything to help it.

Again like I said earlier, such thoughts won't come directly into your face, but then again we all can really really think about what we are doing, and try to come out with an answer. Also the reasons will always change or develop, that is because as the time pass and you get more deeper into the philosophy of the discipline, your mind will have new, different thoughts as of why you are training again.

But for now, I'll just state my honest opinions to those questions that I've wrote above.
I think it is really that I have a deep passion to move, I just love movements, they are just so fun. To not be restricted by anything, is just freedom to me. To overcome any obstacles, including my mental barriers, and to do anything that I want, to be able to do movements that I've never thought of doing before, is truly freedom to me. Moving gracefully through the environment is just a wonderful thing. To achieve full body control and to continually break the frontiers of my limits is just amazing. Controlling my every movement, to move the way I want to, are just stuff anyone would dream for. Its only a sad fact that they don't have the heart to work hard for what they want. Through this discipline, its amazing how far I came from, how much blood, sweat and tears I've put in, and how much improvements and learnings I've experienced. I now definitely move to live, and live to move. To constantly improve myself is my neverending goal - to achieve it is purely optional, but to work hard for it and having fun in my quest to 'perfection' is mandatory.

It is in fact quite amazing to look back at myself before I even started training, how weak and unfortunate I am, living the life of a sloth alike my typical human companions. Now, I'm always a man in a mission, trying to make full use of time to develop myself into a stronger, faster, more proficient individual who understand the mechanics of his body. I admit that in training and outside training I'm a totally different person altogether, but nevertheless my desires are always there. I want look back at my youth when I'm much older, and feel proud that I have lived my childhood and my teenage life to the fullest. But I won't stop there, I wish to be one that could travel around the world one day, seeing the world outside of ugly, stupid and boring Singapore, touching the very soil of the birthplace of the discipline, touching the very walls of the most famous spots in the world. Without that piece of puzzle in my life's jigsaw, I won't feel completeness. I hope to transform all my dreams to reality, and to do that, the only way is to work hard.

I've not anywhere near achieving my goals of life, but I'll start as soon as now. The mountain is already ahead of me, only when I reach the peak will I feel fulfillment. My life revolves around alot things. Movements, filmmaking, friends, having fun are the main things. Will 2010 be the breakthrough year? Can I be an professional filmmaker one day? Will I be able to go down in history someday? Will I have the chance of travelling around the country doing what I love most? And when I'm old, can I tell myself that I've lived an successful, meaningful life?

It is undoubtedly hard to achieve them. Some of them might some absurd but this is how things goes. Dream big, they say. There are countless of movements I will train hard for and I'm going to risk my life. One day, I will attempt moves one shouldn't even think of it being possible. No matter how hard or how impossible it seems, it is nonetheless still attainable. Things ain't gonna be the same anymore. The words I say now no matter how dramatic or cool it sounds won't mean anything if I don't put them into action.

- And do you guys realize I hardly use the word pahcore when I talk to others, write things down, or describe what I'm doing? Because if you weren't still updated with my current situations, I don't practice pahcore, never once did. David Belle expressed pahcore as efficient movement, going from one point to another in the fastest time possible, doing movement that you will do in escape or chase situation. I wonder if anyone really think what they are doing is, pahcore. Just look at everyone, aiming to sdc as far as possible, wallpass higher, doing all single movements. Is that really pahcore? And also running is definitely the most used movement in an escape, do I see anyone really train that element? Almost everything you guys trained for is just pointless in an escape? When you are running full speed to a rail, you ain't gonna do an sdc, just jump on to it or over it, when you are doing a wallpass, chances are people can still grab your leg if you cant get up fast enough. If you have watched Teghead's Rage Froobling video, that is definitely pahcore, but everyone is bashing it all up, so whats the point, might as well make up a new name to the thing he is training. I can go on and on but I bet you guys already understand what I'm trying to get through.
Why do I don't practice pahcore then? It is because efficiency just does not appeals to me. I just wanna move the way I want to, without rules or restriction. To move with grace, as I said earlier. I don't like going in just a straight line direction, I'd like to add abit of flair into it. I'll just call it movements in general. I spelt pahcore this way because it will avoid it from appearing in searches. hehehehehe.

Just realize I written a whole bulk. Sometimes my thoughts just drift too far away from topic.
OK, lets talk about recent training. On monday I went to Bishan to train. Managed to nail some stuffs, like the 2nd storey catleap and dash to cat. But I felt that in some occasions I impacted myself too much like forcing myself to do a precision but fall back down quite badly. SDC2P as well. Really bad. My soles of my shoes are gonna wear out so soon, thanks the Bishan unforgiving rough surfaces.
The next day is my first day of deloading, they were done really fast and were really easy. I think I'm gonna make use of the time in the gym to practice form in some lifts. On gym days I think at the night I will go castle, which is what I did that day (yesterday). I drill my wallpass severely and I felt that it is getting way better. Did runs and did wallpass in different directions, after different movements, in lesser running space. Was a really good training that day. Armjumps were getting good but I lost one movement but nothing really much. After that I went to Simei and train the irritating wall (which killed my knees). Did 2 attempts, was quite close but I'm gonna stop right there. AMAZINGLY I feel a tinge of pain in my knee in both landings, I think that wall is CURSED. I HATE THAT WALL OMG!!!
Today I went to dino and shino. It is my SDC drilling day, was ok at dino, but and shino I think I really messed up my muscle memory due to the number of poor landings and badly executed SDCs. Also felt really tired and bailed twice, hitting the same spot on the same shin FUCK. I hate it when my shin gets hurt! I think I did too much, trained over the 1hr 30minutes limit, and did too much of them. The next time I go there I'm gonna make sure I land each move nicely.

Tomorrow I'm gonna rest, or just mess around with the bars and do some rail work. Can't waste my time anymore.
Friday gonna hit the gym, after that I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Saturday is the Bishan Jam, won't do much for obvious reason, but I feel like trying some stuffs, and the wallpass. Drilling precisions as well.
Sunday is my 3rd deloading day, after that I should be drilling my wallpasses again at castle.
Monday maybe going to Sengkang, train on running precision at Dame du lac, practicing basics at NC hotspot, and maybe do some high elements stuff at SK Park.
Tuesday is another day in the gym, night time probably do some bar tricks again.
Wednesday heading to the beach woohooo, must seriously start flipping already, can't waste anymore time.
Thursday another day in the gym.
Friday... friday then talk lah.

Last thing, videos. I think I am going to start filming soon, maybe the last week of November I'll start filming clips. When I go far places such as Clementi, Taman Jurong, Jelapang, or some places where I'm pretty sure I'll go just once, I'll probably bring my camera along so I can film. I'll need to get a variety of artistic shots, think of a semi-storyline, and stuffs like that.. too hard to put into words. And then there is still Ashton's video. Timelapses as well, silhouettes shots. For now I wanna train properly, seriously and progress incrementally, and make sure I don't do stupid things or really bad stressful stuffs like back in the past.

Bye noobs.