What I want to do.

Update 14/2/08 Thrusday:
It was a great training just now. I'm happy with todays training. Firstly, trained at castle. And after that I went home and slack awhile, and went to Tampines North Park and train, and train, and train. Until 7.45pm I think.

I feel quite rusty after a good break from Parkour. I feel a little better in my precisions and vaults, and my fluidity, but my wall pass and climbups are getting weaker, something I must work on. Rolls are improving and balance is suckier. Whatever, I'm still happy.
Because it doesn't matter. Time, patience, hardwork.

Training consists of alot of repetitions on runs, vaults, training fluidity, precisions jumps. 2nd part is just some wall pass attempt, which I totally suck at. At North Park's ramp, although quite plain and boring, it can actually be quite good and fun, and the fitness corner over there too, and the playground at the other side, they are great places. My fluidity improved alot, so did my SDC (shockingly, because seriously I never train them much). I almost accidentally nailed the SDC to precision, and I will get them one day, when I think and I feel that I can. I need to work alot on my reverse and my "inside" lazy :P. Well, I learnt something, always bring money/water with you, before you got dehydrated like me, but its quite minor. But especially when the sun's hot and you are doing runs. Oh well, I dont have any money at that time, good timing.
I guess I should start experimenting with breathing techniques, to improve my overall stamina.

Don't know why, but I still have some minor bails, like clipping a dash and bail a precision landing. I will need to take some time to better my focus so that I dont have any other bullshits.

Something I really don't like is the gay public. People will come and bother you, by keep staring at you 24/7. Or even bother you like saying stuffs like "Oi boy your parkour AH?"/"You playing parkour?"/"CHEY PARKOUR SEH!", etc. etc. And they mostly come from malays, call me racist or a bastard, but fuck, malays are fucking irritating. This is true, because it is, don't argue, because if you do, you are as irritating, thus agreeing to the FACT that malays are fucking irritating, and seriously they are irritating, and its true, damn true. Irritating as rats running every in garbage incinerators. Chinese usually doesn't care, unless they are ahbengs ahlians, but malays does that everytime, because of the fact that they are irritating. IRRITATING LAH SIA!

Seriously this kind of things sucks. If only people are more friendly, at least smile or the best, dont do anything, just act normal, don't stare, or talk shits. Aiyah, Singaporeans mah, what shit country is this, How I wish I stay at England. I hate Singapore, bullshit country. I don't know why I'm born here, so unlucky. Unlucky as fuck. Who wants to stay at Singapore sia, I wanna go work at England, and its true sia. Sia. SIA.

And I was asked what am I practicing? I just said, the art of movement, because I don't really like the word Parkour, because in Singapore, those lame malays made it sound like some kind of crap. CRAP I say. Best still I will say i'm training to live life or practicing life. I will say that, trust me you unknown random readers, because stupid posers will only say "I Parkour! I play Parkour!" Lololololololololololololololololol.
But anyway, the uncle who asked me the question is quite friendly, at least they don't say things like "Dangerous ah! Don't play!"/"Stop disgracing the neighbourhood!" Haha, public. But I have to get used to it, because Singapore don't have any quiet places, unless I go England. What to do? Singapore sucks mah. Mah. MAH.

Lame sia Singapore. I wanna quit Singapore. Resign.
Oh well, can't do anything because I'm unlucky. What else can I talk about?

Back to training talk again. Overall today I listened to my body, and did not much impactful stuffs. Although I feel tired because of alot of repetitions from todays training, abit too much landings from those vaults, you know you know. And I also trained some runs spontaneously, I think thats the word, but what I mean is like I don't think of the movements, just do what came to mind or what I subconsciously did, unlike planned movements. Its quite fun and even from that I learn from it naturally, by using your hands to gain more height. Lets not talk about it, figure out yourself, random readers of my blog.
Hmmm, and also I did a few wall pass attempt at the "wall that I did like 100 attempts on" again, and I totally lose my skills. I thought it was quite easy, but fuck it. My wall pass sucks, I need to train back them, starting back to castle's wall. Get used to the technique. Slowly I can train on ungrippy walls and higher walls.

Then going back, instead of going home straight, I go train my balance, which seriously sucken. Oh well, need to keep training them. I keep doing until I did 2 rounds without falling. And also tried balancing at a height (relax, just one storey high), its damn scary when you lean to the side where the big drop is. But I managed to motivate myself to get the balance done before going home. Today was quite good, and I'm happy. Less impacts, more repetitions. More focus, less stupidity. Tomorrow will be another day of training, first tricking then some night training.

Studies are gonna get tougher. I really need to work on my Chinese, something that I cannot run away from. A maths are improving I hope. Next week will be the real test. I need to really start study. Rest days and less time on this computer. I will work on my self-control right now. And I will, because I will, and because I want to. This is self-control. Everything you do is created and done by you, as you control yourself. So please, I must work on my self-control too.

Willpower + time + patience + hardwork + self-discipline = success.

I need self-discipline. This is self-discipline.
Life will no longer be the same.
A last update on Saturday. (I need to make more videos!)
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Update 12/2/08:
Just a small update.
Monday was a weird day. I end school going to the hotspot I thought would be good, in the end it wasn't that good, and I did some really stupid stuffs too. Blame my stupidity, bad focus, not thinking before doing things, and bad self-control, and also maybe ego. Did some really stupid big drops, which is really stupid. Once is already, but 5 times, wow. Oh well, whats done cannot be undoned. Thinking back the old days was really dam stupid, I still remember how many big impactful drops I did, and also even now I'm doing alot of maximum jumps. My knee is definitely screwed up in a way. And how am I gonna repair them? This is my plan.

I'm gonna do alot more squats and deadlifts, practicing good/perfect form, lifting for functional hypertrophy, training for base leg strength, so that my knee is strong, my lower back and ankles are strong. This should make my knee stronger. And I wanna eat glucosamine, if I could. And obviously no more big impactful drops or maximum jumps. I always succumb to temptation of doing big stuffs, something that I really need to think about and control myself, which is gonna be hard but I need to force myself now, before I regret. I never think before doing stuffs, which really sucks. My mind is really retarded, I don't learn from mistakes unlike others, and I keep repeating the mistakes over and over, and I keep regretting. I really hope I can change as soon as now. I have to listen to my body and what is right. Not only say, but more action please.

Now I learnt that we all human beings should be self-reliant. I can see that alot of people like to go out with friends, rely on others, etc. I want to ask you guys. What are you alone? What if you have no friends, can you still live? And, do you let other affect you? Seriously after thinking alot, I can see that classmates of mine and rely on others to be a person. They always hang out with friends, talk to them, joke around with them and full of other nonsense. Not saying having friends are bad, but you should learn how to rely on yourself, and survive alone. For example, what if you are the only one on Earth? Can you still live? I should start training alone, think for myself, think before questioning others, do stuffs alone, learn basic survival skills.

And seriously (I'm seriously serious in saying this serious paragraph), I find that I should stop training with people whom I get easily distracted, and I know you know who you are, this is no offence, but the truth (tooth). When I seriously wanna train seriously, then seriously, I seriously don't want to get distracted, seriously. And I'm seriously serious, seriously.

Great, strength training yesterday and today was quite good. And I need to continue training like this for strength training. I've yet to train movements, on this Thrusday I will, and I seriously wanna train seriously. And some mind training on that day itself too.

Nutrition had improved greatly, except the fact that during CNY I ate alot of shit, and also Mcdonalds made me eat their junk food. This sucks. Although I think I should start eating even more healthier and more variety, I'm eating alot of protein and carbonhydrates nowadays. I also eat alot, which is good because I'm growing. But I dont wanna gain too much weight from eating too much, so I must start some cardio :P.
Oh well, all for today, tomorrow will be a rest day because of stupid work.
I will update of Thrusday and Saturday.
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As Chinese New Year finally finished, I think I rest enough.
Full of eating shit foods and slacking alot. Oh well, time to really change.

My injury is getting recovered, I still feel pain sometimes when I put pressure on it, so I will give a few more days of rest, as in, rest from movements. Tomorrow I plan to go gym for some heavy effort squats and deadlifts, and Tuesday some upperbody training (muscleups, weighted pullups, one armed pushups), and Wednesday a final break from everything. I guess after that my toe is healed and I'm back to train movements, so on Thrusday, movements, loads of repetitions, "real" training. Friday to gym and trick, plus night training.

I think its time to refresh my whole training overall. In this break, I realize stuffs that I want to do, and what I really and stupidly did wrong last time. I want to renew myself, and change for the better. As days and time flies past us, and as we watch the world goes by, we realize more and more what we really want, and we realize what life is about. I have goals in my mind for the future and I really wish to work towards it and start now. Saving money, learning stuffs, prepare myself.

For parkour, I know that I've been doing alot of stupid stuffs at the past, and its nearly 1 year of training, so I think its time to train properly, correctly and seriously. I don't want to keep regretting and repeating the same mistakes over and over again, because thats really stupid. As I know I've been always wanting to progress fast and nail harder and bigger stuffs, but I realize whats the use of it. It will just result in injury, short-term or long-term, and many other things else. I guess there is no rush, no hurry, just take as long as I want to get it. Its not too late to change. Progressing is good, its a way to push our limits and take up new challenges. But too fast is bad. I will be doing most of my stuffs round 60% or 70% of my maximum, and at the very most 90%.

Second thing is, focus. I always have bad focus and easily get distracted by things. And because of this I bail or land stuffs uncontrolled. Sometimes I never think before I jump. Focus in every single jump and movement I do.
And for training I will do alot of repetitions, focusing on landing every jump soft and controlled. Train my balance and rolls, climbups, control, fluidity, explosiveness and move more relaxed. I don't any more unnecessary impacts or worst, I really wish to start treating my body well and listen to it. More strength training would be expected.
Training alone and at night more often because it is that time where I can focus alot better, and where everything is more peaceful and calm, silent and chilled. Its one of the nicest feeling yet.

Next.
I really wish to practice tricking more often, and learn more movements, as much as possible. Life is short, I should learn as many things which are worth learning as possible. I guess at least once a week. And as much whenever I can. On my list now is sideflip, aerial, kick the moon, roundoff to backflip. I guess I will take a very long time, but as long as I practice, my patience and effort will pay off. As tricking is a good form of expression and an art of movement, they are one of the things that I love to practice. Handbalancing and abit of caporeira are part of them.

Whats else?
Filming. I guess I feel that I'm really interested in them and I'm really sure I want to be a cameramen, filmmaker and video editor in the future and in my career. I'm starting to save up for a Canon HV20, the cheapest HD camcorder. I've researced alot and I hope I won't regret buying this, like I always do in everything else. I should start learning and practice on how to film and how to edit. And read up more about cameras and the such. I'm pretty sure my knowledge in them still sucks and I need to learn more. I want to go to Singapore Poly, and to make sure of that I must start learning and study hard to get into that school. I will take up Media and Communications and learn about videography. And take up rockclimbing as a CCA. I heard that SP has good training spots as well as some good crash mats at the rockclimbing hall. This is what I have in mind and I hope I can work towards it.
And my March sampler. I'm gonna make it but it might be postponed. The video is more of a test of my video editing and filming. Got a few things in mind and I hope the video will be good.

Working at Macdonalds. I don't know about it, but I need money. I think I will keep working here until I find a better job. No choice anyway, the best job for my age. The job still sucks, quite a waste of time for just $3.40 per hr. But I need to persevere. At least they are giving me money. I'm only 14. I only work for 12 hours a week, 2 days a week. So I think I can cope.

Studies, schools, and homeworks. I just need to pay more attention in class.

I want to do what I want to do.
This break although short, made me really want to move, but I can't because of my injury. I feel like training, but I can't because of CNY, as parents don't allow. Hope I can be happy with life and things would come my way one day. Time ticks away so fast, its already 1 year of practice in one more short month. Life is short, we should start taking things slowly, if you get what I mean. Thats why we shouldn't waste time. Rest when needed, have some fun, slack abit, but make use of time, and make use of life.

Just to sum up - Training more towards repetition, control, 60% - 70% of maximum, at most 90%, and train explosiveness, balance, rolls, fluidity, breathing, runs. More strength training. Trick more often, practice more handbalancing. Take things slowly, progressing steadily and a comfortable rate. Train more alone, and at night. More focused in training. Make sampler arund March. Don't waste time, make use of it. Practice more filming and make more videos, save money for camcorder and for the future. Pay attention in class. Be happy. Have fun when doing all this. Be serious when doing all this.

Bye. (I will update this post on Saturday.)