March 23rd - 29th

I feel that this is one of the best way to pen down my thoughts. I just need to write it down somewhere. You guys dont have to read it. I'll update the days event when I can.

March 29th
Went to Bishan today. Did some normal boring movements, didn't get to do much because of the rain, slippery lubricated railings, the rain, and the rain. Didn't get to do runs that I thought I would, because after like 30minutes, it rained. Sucks. It happens so many times already when I come all the way from Tamp to here. At least 7 times that I can clearly remember, but I think theres more. So of course its not too impactful, which is ok. Didn't get to train flips, nooo. Will be flipping after school for awhile, then I'll go home to rest.

March 28th
First went to the gym, did well. Squatted 81kg for 3 reps with good depth and form. I now truly considered myself being able to squat 80kg. BenchPress is still hanging on, but to do 60kg will be abit hard but I'm gonna try nonetheless, this tuesday. Pullups with 26kg, did it for 3x3, I'm happy with that. Maxing both bench and pulls out this tuesday, monday would be a long and boring day in school so I'll just take that day off to rest.

Next went to Nart School and check out the book and slack then went for training. There's a few stuffs that happened. Nailed speed2p properly. Nailed a buildering thing. Gotten stronger in buildering. Slipped off an edge and fall all the way down, really impact (third time in 2 weeks that I fell off something due to lack of focus). Training is still kinda impactful, although I didn't really train alot, probably due to length of training, again. I still don't really have the ability to control myself, as you can see, no matter how much I want to keep my trianing low, I feel the urge to this and that, argh. I don't know how long will my knees survive.

Flips are bloody impactful..... hais.

March 27th
Did a little flips training after school again. No progression, maybe regression. I don't know whether I'm training properly. Because the more failed attempts and bad flips I do, it will be imprinted in my system no matter what. So its like if i continue to flip suckily, it'll stay like that. Its not about training alot but training smart, like for everything else. I need to really aim for good practice, so that I'll get the good imprints, and stop when the forms seriously cocks up. Bad flips with bad landings with feel so impactful even on playground mats. Even well landed once are loud, way louder then most precisions and drops. Damn, my knees are gonna get rusty..

But.. no rush, no forcing myself, only do flips when I'm focussed - for the good imprints. Also I'm taking a long time to get focus too, because of thinking of too many distracting things. No good. Let me not think of such stuffs and focus for tmr 80kg good 3 reps. hahaha.

April like soon. Maybe I should start learning other flips, because I can't always be sticking to these few. Still don't think I'm in a position to move to backflip variation. But soon. Need to continue practicing, the time will come, take it slowly. Maybe I'll try the moonkick soon.
Shaun Wood, Anan Anwar and Ish is coming to Singapore at 19th april. I can't wait for the demolition of those spots. Lets hope for the best and everything goes well.

March 26th
Was a good day today as I achieved my target of 85kg x 3rep kinda easily, I feel that I can still go heavier, but yeah I'll just stop there for safety reasons and also I already got what I was aiming for anyway. But as a problem that I know I am facing already, I'm doing straight legged deadlifts rather then the conventional deadlifts. So I'm putting more stress to my back. I don't know why I can't get the conventional one, and that will be something I'll working on in the 4/5 weeks routine break. Standing press also seem to be a really hard lift, and it puts stress on your back as well at the top. But I got the 40kgx3rx3s I was aiming for all was good.
So yeah, not a bad day.

March 25th
Did not trained today, except for a few flips after school, which wasn't too good, and my flips really slackened alot, which means I need alot more practice. After that I went home and slept for 3 hours (FTW!). I was quite sore and I know I won't be able to perform very good for deadlift maxout day. So I listened to my body, made some adjustment to the routine, and I felt that this is the best approach, so there is no losses but gains in the end. I decided to ditch the final wednesday workout next week and bring it forward to this week, so this will be the last deadlifting session in the routine, so I'll max out. Friday I'll be resting for the next day Sat. Then I'll go for the BenchPress and Pullups day on Tuesday (Monday I got extra lessons till late and I will dread going to the gym because of the time left), and the final routine day (squats maxout) is on Friday. So now I need to rest more and prepare for the three upcoming maxouts.

Actually I've stuffs in my mind that I haven't typed, thoughts collected from yesterday + today.
Hmmm, training at school. Honestly, I sometimes feel that I'm showing off subconsciously, but carefully, and have the urge to showoff but do well to keep it down, but when approach myself and think if I really showoff or not, maybe not to friends in school, but during jams? I sometimes can't be clear to myself, I'm not lying to myself, or am I? I also have the feeling, or at least used to have, but I could be a little more respected because of training all these. But what makes me think that I have that privilege. I chose to train this, so what if I can do this, do that, if one choose to respect me due to the dedication and how I live my life productively, then I am happy, but it isn't a must, must it? Forget it.

Philosophy. Philosophically speaking about the topic on philosophy.
What defines philosophy?
Dictionary meaning - Ideas/Beliefs/Values relating to a particular field.

I believe it is different for everyone. I doubt philosophy is a set rule that everyone must try to aim working towards it. The motto (Definition - A brief statement used to express a principle, goal, or ideal) of Parkour is "to be and to last", yeah. But motto is something that we aim for (goal) in our training. Philosophy is a different thing. It is what we believe and what values we put in in our discipline. I think everyone trains because of the universal love of movements, that can't be argued - we love to move, or not why are we doing it in the first place? And I know many people will mock or laugh at other's people reason to practice parkour. But think, it is their reason, what makes us have the right to think that it is 'wrong', or 'unacceptable'? Do you like it if we deem your inspiration to train wrong? What position are you to say that it is wrong? One will know if their true reasons are fucked up or not after training for a long time. It differs from person to person and your reasons will developed and changed as time pass. The person should pretty well understand their reasons themselves. And I believe everyone should come up with THEIR OWN reasons and not after something they read and go "yeah yeah, thats true." Thats merely copying.

Nowadays I find that there might be a 'fight' in our usual 'clique'. I definitely do not want this to happen, as we are all supposed to be united as one. I know I should keep my thoughts to myself, because if I were to blurt things out, misunderstandings will inevitably occur, and things will go terribly out of hand. I don't want a internal conflict. Sometimes I think people are so full of themselves at times, that it is just so hard for them to see their problem no matter how much we already explain to them. Ego is a bitch. But then I could be contradicting myself. No one can always be right, can they? Different opinions for different reasons.

There's a problem with me. Sometimes once I get into a conflict, even a super small one, I just can interact with the person anymore. It is like total love loss between. There's already a few classmates that I used to like to talk to, and were kinda close to, but because of some accidental spillage of anger, the bond totally breaks apart, and it is so hard to mend. And theres still my poor conversational skills and fear to talking to some people (esp. some girls), and it just sucks (check my "sucks to be so shy and all" post in deeenester.blogspot.com)

And lastly, I still have to buck up on my video editing alot, true that I actually don't put much effort in my filming (which is the source of editing). I want to learn after effects, for real and for reel. Practice my filming angles and storylining things. But guys believe me, things are not as easy as it looks to develop what seems like a normal, simple edited video. Color correction, rendering and speed of editing comes into play. Oh wait, nevermind, it doesn't matter, I don't want to act like I know alot. Yes I should spend the time I waste on this, and ofcourse more time on studying, already.

I know this is getting long and no one is reading.

March 24th
PE today, we ran 2.4km. Super impactful, but theres no choice so I decided to do it just once (was abit tired from ytd training session). Still got 10.49 and it is not even an A. Didn't know it was so bloody hard, but who cares.
Then around 5pm I walked to Shino to train alone. tried the wall, in total 9 attempts = 0 nailed. Not good man, not good. Dont know why, should have stopped after 5 attempts when it shows I'm not prepared. Went to Shino and trained abit, drilled abit. A few stuffs good is that I nailed a Speed to precision (could only land on the rail but not the wall yet), and nailed SDC2LP with a short runup (before the HDB). Other then that, I feel that theres abit of problem with my (standing) box jumps and I need to work on it, almost bailed in one careless attempt. Was some good repetitions, but when my form starting to deteriorate, I continued on, ruining the good imprints I had in my muscle memory earlier on.
Went to castle laterwards (lol new word) and drilled the running cat. Not too bad, but it will cause my shoes to die soon. Flips was quite bad, backflip after like 5 attempts gone haywired, sideflips kept overrotating, and in one attempt I bailed, hesitated like how I did in my March Thing video, but I was higher in the air. I think my focus is something that I need alot of work on. Even with people around or not, focus still quite bad. And this was too long a training session.

Things that need work on
- Focus man, focus, never just whack.
- Keep training session less then 1hr30minutes please.
- Stop training once form sucked.
- Do movements not too far away from the level I'm in.

And I think its really time for me to start studying instead of wasting my time away now.

March 23rd
Strength training day. Got a good rest the day before so I felt quite fresh. Indeed, performed quite well, one of the best throughout this routine. 78kgx3x3 squats well squat, good form, not too shoddy. Benchpress still easy, 56x3reps, pullups 26.5kgx3reps still felt that I could go heavier. Will be peaking next week. Rest well, eat more. Gotta start planning for the deloading and trainings to come.