April onwards.

I seriously can't believe its april already.

Buangkok training today. Quite awesome. Started well, ended not too well. For a change, I'm gonna do it in point form. Easier to read, easier to write, easier to understand.

Things that went well!
- Drilling.
- Nailed an SDC2CAT easily, 8.5 of my footsteps.
- SDC2P so easy right now.
- Getting more controlled rail precisions.
- Gotten back my lache gainer, worked on fear.
- One legged fronts (webster).
- No bails, no losing of focus.

Things that need work.
- Bloody backflip.
- Forget about doing things that you can't control, do not force yourself, even if you used to be able to do it easily.
- Today's training was a little less then 2hrs, too long.
- Flips on flat.
- Never really did train runs.

Still went back with sore knees. Mainly due to flips, argh. And the running jump over the rail precision thing. And tried the far precision (the one at the green playground), quite impactful. Pulling was abit tiring for me today, thus my shelter muscleup was crap.

Things that I want to do in next session.
- Keep sessions shorter.
- Train more runs.
- Lesser impact -> Aim for perfect landings, do not keep pushing physical limits, keep things within my capabilities.
- Push my mental limits, try something new (that I'm scared of, don't know how, out of my comfort zone) every time I train.
- Leave good imprints in my muscle memory (flips especially).

I have decided on a few things.
I'm gonna stop backflipping for a period of time, I want to take a break from it, it is getting bad to worse. I wanna erase the bad imprints, and try to start anew. Also, its really impactful.

Deload after Friday's final session. 9 weeks in a flash, amazing. Work on front squats, then take on Soviet Union's traditional routine for squats and pullups. Take a break from the heavy loading squats and stuffs.
Cut down on unnecessary calories. I'm at 51.4kg now and I want to bring it back down to <50. Keep the muscle mass that I've gained and cut down the bodyfats. I am indeed eating alot now, not just protein but chicken skin and chocolates, so I'll cut down as I start deloading.

I'm gonna spend more time training alone, or just training in small group with people that I can focus with. I need to rework on my training approach and mindset, seriously, testing my self control, and keeping things down low. I'm still not sure whether I'm gonna get to 35-40yo without knee problems, but as much as it is just for the benefit of myself, I'll need to slow down a little. This year will be strength training year, I'm gonna get the 2x bodyweight squat, I'm confident I can. I need to start working on OACs.

Given the thought of flips is so impactful, maybe I should just stop it all, as my joints are more important. Might be a good choice, since you are doing your body good afterall. But I've already came this far, and It's getting better. So if I stop now, its over. I shouldn't give up, but I give myself time to get my landing all right. I need to work up slowly.

I thought fear is just an emotion. Once we learn how to control our fears, nothing can stop us.

I see myself improving step by step, refining my style, the way I move. I'm gonna stop making videos for awhile, focus on training and studies, in time to come when my progression is good, then there will be the time for videos. I'll be compiling clips of others though, and finishing up Fred's sampler, and filming the visits from the Aussies. Then I'll make an epic compilation. And my documentary is due soon to be worked. Gotten abit of new ideas, gonna put it to use for FRED's sampler, but please don't expect too much. I want to get some more timelapse, got more ideas.

I think traceurs think to highly about themselves. Not just to our friends but to posers and people staring at us and all. We are just practitioners of a certain discipline, it doesn't mean that we're better and gives us the rights to criticise the public so much. Because I know many that contradicts the ideas so much. Narrow minded society, but aren't traceurs narrow minded too. Lets treat people properly, without bias.

Gonna need to keep practicing on my handstands. Lately theres no progress. It's getting very frustrating, I hope when the aussies come, they can give me proper tips. I can't wait.

Lately I have alot of thoughts, people confirm sian.

I need to give myself better sleep and rest, its good for me.
Bye.