Twists and Turns

I'm just bored out.
This week isn't much of a good week.
Probably it is my mindset made it such.

I'm fell sick, couldn't train for today, slacking all the way. Can't exert any force on myself. Then the guilt of not training flips and handstands comes back. Internal conflict much. Was I lazy? Giving excuses such as I'm sick and weak. Or was I just listening to my body. Hopefully the latter. Still don't like the feeling though.

The next week would be pretty packed and I'm hoping it to be solid.
Routine's coming to an end, 3 more workouts. Time flies indeed, 5 weeks has flew past, 2 weeks of holidays are gone, but still not using time to any advantage. Everything will be getting tougher. Progressed in squats, so I hope I could finish up the last 2 main routines well. It's gonna be really hard but all the best to me. Pullups too. Then I remembered, I haven't been practicing OAC. Hope convenient it would be for a pullup bar at home. Too bad. And I seriously need to start training properly and not keep repeating the gloomy words here in my blog back-to-back each week.

Monday and Tuesday was just homeworking and just a 'rest' gym session. Was a good way to socialise more with friends. Finally got over the barrier, just gotta keep it up. Talking about homework, I better start doing some because there's no point slacking the day away, aimlessly surfing the net for god knows what reasons. I'm just too bored.
Wednesday was fucked. I thought of practicing abit of flips in school during break, was ok until one overrotated onelegged front caused me to bang into a pole. I also don't think of the consequences of bailing. I still bail quite often if I consider the small and stupid ones. So I couldn't go to gym because squatting would hurt my thigh. I just can't afford to bail, like why does it always happen. The feeling sucks. So slacked the whole day, and slept. Woke up to no good, mood spoiler and just wasn't a good day for me at all.
Thursday I achieved my 85kg x3x3 Squats relatively good and 26kgx3x3 pullups. Was a good workout day, satisfied alright. Went to Bishan straight after. Was fun and funny, trained abit and it was cool. But then, I felt I pushed myself just too much (to be honest I feel abit of knee pain when I went home). Like again, internal conflict, was feeling fucked about what happen yesterday, so wanted to vent it all out. Bishan was a shoe killer. But I nailed stuffs, mostly relating to tictacs. I still can't nail the sdc2lp at the first spot, my other leg is just inches below from the edge and I just can't put two legs up I don't know why. Should be able to nail them soon though.
Friday, went to swimming again with my friends. Was damn fun, slide was super shiok. Sengkang swimming complex. I suck at swimming so much but I felt progression. Started to be able to tread water but still struggling alot sometimes I'm kinda like struggling to survive while playing with my friends. Didn't train at all. Just handstands at night.
Saturday was ecp. Didn't train much too, just don't have much of a mood. I nailed a huge lache at the fitness corner but it could've been more controlled. Still have no guts to try a gainer, probably going to some condo's private swimming pool to attempt it. Roundoff back sucks I don't know whats so hard about it. I should practice my roundoff more. Then, after eating at burger king (spent nearly 8 bucks), went back to the blue rails spot. I bailed a sideflip there on concrete - shows how weak my flips are. Luckily nothing really happen, but just to know that I've bailed yet again really shows how unfocussed you are. What's more when you start to get more higher level, you just can't afford to bail. Need to start drilling flips alot, but I always do pk more then flips. Need self-discipline man. Then at night I felt that my head's heavy, which then I realize I'm feverish.

Seriously need to spend less and save up more. Just eat the most 4 dollars, would be good if its lesser. Eat simple, and proper. Don't keep succumbing to temptations for good oily, sugary food. You know you want to go to england soon, so you better start saving up, don't spend it anyhow.

My computer is fucked up and I can't use Vegas and neither can and copy and paste files. I just hope like please, that all my clips and songs will still intact when somebody repairs this computer. I must have those files, they are limited edition. I just can't lost it. I always live it to the last minute to save backups but then I'm always too lazy to do so. But once the computer gets fucked, I'll get fucked too. Hais..

Somehow all of my posts are all in negative light, never seem to be happy or what. Most of the time disappointed and criticising myself. Always thinking about the shortcomings, never focussing on the positive. Thats why I always ended up in a bad mood and thus a bad week. All having a negative influence to what's to come. Kind of contradictory because life should be lived in happiness. Should start being more positive.

Starting tomorrow.