My knee injury is on and off.
The reason behind it - Simple. I keep re-injuring it over and over again. How? By doing movements.. small movements even, jumping around my house, I think I'm too used to it. I just can't stay stagnant at home not moving at all. Really. But then I don't how long its gonna take to finally get my body back to its top form. My left knee is suffering for what-the-doctor-said a overuse injury, so its cool, just need a good rest and it should be fine.
Another reason is that I kinda rushing for it to heal. So that time when it was actually healed lke 80-90%, I go out and did squats, which I know that I still have the pain, and after the training when I head home, the pain worsened. Although probably to others the urge to train is very good, but when you're injured you're much better off staying at home instead of rubbing salt on the wound. So nowadays, I stayed at home trying not to head outside at all. But still, I have temptation to move.
Then I realize, this is the time I should really put in effort to control my body and not give in to temptations, because if I don't, and let my foolishness result into more disaster, then things aren't gonna be so nice anymore. As my condition now isn't really that bad as compared to tendonitis, anterior cruciate ligament pains, fractured ligament, meniscus tear... I should really not take things for granted. I really think if it takes another few more weeks to recover, so be it.. or not it will turn out even longer then expected, which is something that nobody wants. I'm sure excited on my new strength training routine that I really wanna start working on, but if my knee is not up for it, how am I gonna start it? I really should rest, rest properly, not even a single movement which requires the knee (except walking and really necessary things).
Its been one month. The whole of July I've used to rest my knee, but then its not even healed yet. I guess it will cut in till the first week of August, thats what I hope. I think only then I would finally start my strength training. But theres no rush, if it means more time, then theres no choice. Anyway, I feel like, dedicating alot alot of time on it rather then movements. I think this is the time of my life that I should putting alot of emphasis on strength, as I think I'm hitting my puberty soon, then by next year I will be quite bulky. And taller too, probably. And of course I wanna be more prepared for movements so I don't get knee probelms such as the one I'm suffering from now. And no movements = less injuries. So play safe.
So I'll still stick to what I've originally planned - August, September, October, strength training purely. Nov and Dec, probably one or two days a week on movements, strength training too. 2009 I would probably still train as hard, but more days on movements and tricks, probably if possible I should be spend 30mins - 1hr practicing a particular movements, then rest, then head to gym again, to benefit more. I'll see what will come, but then for the rest of this year, I'll put a big emphasis on strength training, and next year you guys will see a much stronger CP.
Oh and the picture at the top needs some adjustments. :P
Just a small update on my current situation now. HAHAHAHAHA.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Knee progress?
Things are not going very well.
Oh well.
My knee felt recuperated already, so yesterday I decided to just get out there and train abit. I was actually hoping to train movements just to get back the feel, but as you know sometimes life is so evil that just nicely when I walked out of my house, reaching castle, down comes the rain. It couldn't in any better timing.
But oh well, its not the first time anyway, so of course an alternative is the gym, and yeah I went there as I'm not going to head back home. So decided to work on form. As its not suprising my squats gotten a little weaker after such a long break from strength training, but my deadlift form is a little screwed up, yet again. But I think after a little bit more practice, I should be back to my training again.
Sadly, thats not gonna happen, at least not anytime soon.
When I do squats, I feel a little pain when I stand back up. Which is alittle bit retarded but I thought it was nothing much, its just a teenee weenee pain. But after I got back home, I felt this screwed up shit again on my knee, made me so fucked up. Annoying injuries. I can't believe it, 26th June I've gotten this probably, it probably worsened on 7th July. But today its 22nd July already, been nearly a month, but the pain is still here. Went to the docs, got an appointment which is scheduled in 3 weeks time, but cancelled because my knee was "healed" already.
I'm having mixed feelings with the doctor. I don't wanna waste my time talking to some doctor then in the end all he tells me is to rest, which I already did, and coupled with contrast baths and glucosamine, yet nothing seems to help. Although I still can't be hundred percent sure that its just a meniscus probelm, but it seems like it, I really don't feel like wasting my time. But this knee thing, today, I DONT feel pain. Its really weird.
BUT I MUST START MY TRAINING BY AUGUST.
By hook or by crook. Thats the last resort. Worst come to worst. I've missed a month of training, including some screwups during the June holidays. I can't miss any more. I wanna dedicate the whole of August and September, and October, to test out my new routine proven to be successful and I wonder how much strength gains will I gain from it, and there will be very little or no movements training (probably just climbups and rolls and handbalancing). My past training session was quite bullshitty and I just did whatever I wanted to do or thought that would work. I think its time I should work on a routine properly so I could get more strength gains from it. Including proper rest, nutrition and technique and everything else that will more or less affect my strength gains. I swear, I will be much stronger by the end of this year.
The plan on November and December is to train my movements back. And more emphasis on tricks. And probably drill my basics, and stuffs like that. Probably planning to have a solid foundation in tricks too. I'm not gonna make a showreel anymore until next year's end of year or something. Because if I make so much "showreels" so often, I really don't see the point. And somemore, showreels like a very show-off-ish thingy. Probably the video would be "CP 2009", and as planned its going to be like the December period when MY OLEVELS ARE OVER! Surely things will go smooooooooooothly, hopefully.
But I will definitely make small videos from time to time, for the plain reasons to practice my filming and editing. Already have some in mind. :P
As I'm on the topics of videos, my recent video had only gotten around 565 views but quite alot of comments, 29. Not really disappointed because after checking back, it seems like this videos gained more success compared to the March 08 one although I expected alot more. But I swear the CP 2009 video is going to make a huge hit. Thats my goal. I really wonder how strong and capable I am by then.
Anyway, back to training. My handbalancing is totally awesome now. Frogstand to handstand, tuck planche to handstand, jump to handstand, they are doable, I have the strength to do it, but then not much control and obviously not being able to keep balance. But soon, I'm getting the hang of the movement. I should be able to do them in a few months time. I'm not in a hurry though, I just can't wait, but then now matter how long it would take, I will continue training hard for it. Nowadays I irregularly do random handstands whenever and whereever I can, so at this rate, I might get them pretty soon. Hopefully. Oh yeah, I think I'm overdoing this too, because now I feel a very slight pain on my wrist, so I should really take a break from it for awhile.
I dont know why, but I have a big probelm with me. Sometimes, I just can't mean what I say, I just can't do what I say. On certain stuffs that is. One thing would be the thing about newcomers. I don't know, but if I speak it with good light, I probably have a kind heart, or if I'm going to put it in a bad way, I probably like scolding newcomers and insulting them like nobody business. Anyway, the thing is, no matter how much I say I'm not gonna bother about them anymore and shit, I end up with the complete opposite. And then I question myself frequently, whether am I too "strict" or just get fucked up on what newcomers do easily, because I don't see this fact happening with the pioneers. Oh well, but I seriously should stop caring about them lah, really pointless. I don't know man, but then again I'm having mixed feelings with this. Because the more experienced guide me to here, and now I don't bother to give help to the newer batch. And I think I was once as irritating as them. I guess the only solution to this is only give attention when needed or to someone who has geniune passion in it. Or not, just don't bother. This is my vow.
And my toe probelm. Its kinda alot better now, but then I kinda always reinjure it my doing cat leaps and stuffs. But then its not a big probelm anymore, so thats nice to hear probably.
Sometimes after strength training I have this strain at my lower back. I'm not sure whether its normal or its because its after a strenous exercise thats why I feel it but, I just hope its not any serious issue. Oh well.
I just can't wait to get back into training, seriously. But for now, I seriously need to at least do sensible stuffs and not just slack one day off doing nothing. I nowadays torrent alot of stuffs, mostly music and movies, which would kill some time properly. And I will take the chance to do static stretches, keep on researching on strength training and the like, watching pk videos in youtube, and do rolls and handstands every now and then. At least something productive, and don't waste the time of a day away just like this, I really need to wake up already, and really stop wasting my time on doing stupid things.
Ok this is quite a long post already. So I will stop..
..
HERE.
Oh well.
My knee felt recuperated already, so yesterday I decided to just get out there and train abit. I was actually hoping to train movements just to get back the feel, but as you know sometimes life is so evil that just nicely when I walked out of my house, reaching castle, down comes the rain. It couldn't in any better timing.
But oh well, its not the first time anyway, so of course an alternative is the gym, and yeah I went there as I'm not going to head back home. So decided to work on form. As its not suprising my squats gotten a little weaker after such a long break from strength training, but my deadlift form is a little screwed up, yet again. But I think after a little bit more practice, I should be back to my training again.
Sadly, thats not gonna happen, at least not anytime soon.
When I do squats, I feel a little pain when I stand back up. Which is alittle bit retarded but I thought it was nothing much, its just a teenee weenee pain. But after I got back home, I felt this screwed up shit again on my knee, made me so fucked up. Annoying injuries. I can't believe it, 26th June I've gotten this probably, it probably worsened on 7th July. But today its 22nd July already, been nearly a month, but the pain is still here. Went to the docs, got an appointment which is scheduled in 3 weeks time, but cancelled because my knee was "healed" already.
I'm having mixed feelings with the doctor. I don't wanna waste my time talking to some doctor then in the end all he tells me is to rest, which I already did, and coupled with contrast baths and glucosamine, yet nothing seems to help. Although I still can't be hundred percent sure that its just a meniscus probelm, but it seems like it, I really don't feel like wasting my time. But this knee thing, today, I DONT feel pain. Its really weird.
BUT I MUST START MY TRAINING BY AUGUST.
By hook or by crook. Thats the last resort. Worst come to worst. I've missed a month of training, including some screwups during the June holidays. I can't miss any more. I wanna dedicate the whole of August and September, and October, to test out my new routine proven to be successful and I wonder how much strength gains will I gain from it, and there will be very little or no movements training (probably just climbups and rolls and handbalancing). My past training session was quite bullshitty and I just did whatever I wanted to do or thought that would work. I think its time I should work on a routine properly so I could get more strength gains from it. Including proper rest, nutrition and technique and everything else that will more or less affect my strength gains. I swear, I will be much stronger by the end of this year.
The plan on November and December is to train my movements back. And more emphasis on tricks. And probably drill my basics, and stuffs like that. Probably planning to have a solid foundation in tricks too. I'm not gonna make a showreel anymore until next year's end of year or something. Because if I make so much "showreels" so often, I really don't see the point. And somemore, showreels like a very show-off-ish thingy. Probably the video would be "CP 2009", and as planned its going to be like the December period when MY OLEVELS ARE OVER! Surely things will go smooooooooooothly, hopefully.
But I will definitely make small videos from time to time, for the plain reasons to practice my filming and editing. Already have some in mind. :P
As I'm on the topics of videos, my recent video had only gotten around 565 views but quite alot of comments, 29. Not really disappointed because after checking back, it seems like this videos gained more success compared to the March 08 one although I expected alot more. But I swear the CP 2009 video is going to make a huge hit. Thats my goal. I really wonder how strong and capable I am by then.
Anyway, back to training. My handbalancing is totally awesome now. Frogstand to handstand, tuck planche to handstand, jump to handstand, they are doable, I have the strength to do it, but then not much control and obviously not being able to keep balance. But soon, I'm getting the hang of the movement. I should be able to do them in a few months time. I'm not in a hurry though, I just can't wait, but then now matter how long it would take, I will continue training hard for it. Nowadays I irregularly do random handstands whenever and whereever I can, so at this rate, I might get them pretty soon. Hopefully. Oh yeah, I think I'm overdoing this too, because now I feel a very slight pain on my wrist, so I should really take a break from it for awhile.
I dont know why, but I have a big probelm with me. Sometimes, I just can't mean what I say, I just can't do what I say. On certain stuffs that is. One thing would be the thing about newcomers. I don't know, but if I speak it with good light, I probably have a kind heart, or if I'm going to put it in a bad way, I probably like scolding newcomers and insulting them like nobody business. Anyway, the thing is, no matter how much I say I'm not gonna bother about them anymore and shit, I end up with the complete opposite. And then I question myself frequently, whether am I too "strict" or just get fucked up on what newcomers do easily, because I don't see this fact happening with the pioneers. Oh well, but I seriously should stop caring about them lah, really pointless. I don't know man, but then again I'm having mixed feelings with this. Because the more experienced guide me to here, and now I don't bother to give help to the newer batch. And I think I was once as irritating as them. I guess the only solution to this is only give attention when needed or to someone who has geniune passion in it. Or not, just don't bother. This is my vow.
And my toe probelm. Its kinda alot better now, but then I kinda always reinjure it my doing cat leaps and stuffs. But then its not a big probelm anymore, so thats nice to hear probably.
Sometimes after strength training I have this strain at my lower back. I'm not sure whether its normal or its because its after a strenous exercise thats why I feel it but, I just hope its not any serious issue. Oh well.
I just can't wait to get back into training, seriously. But for now, I seriously need to at least do sensible stuffs and not just slack one day off doing nothing. I nowadays torrent alot of stuffs, mostly music and movies, which would kill some time properly. And I will take the chance to do static stretches, keep on researching on strength training and the like, watching pk videos in youtube, and do rolls and handstands every now and then. At least something productive, and don't waste the time of a day away just like this, I really need to wake up already, and really stop wasting my time on doing stupid things.
Ok this is quite a long post already. So I will stop..
..
HERE.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Stagnant half month!
Decided to blog as I got nothing better to do.
If you haven't watch my video, you better do so! I guess to me I'm very happy with the outcome and it looks that its very successful judging by the comments. Yeah man, I'm really happy, but then this is just the beginning of many more videos and eventually a full-length movie to come. Oh well I didn't hit my goal which is having a honor but I wish I could get about a 1k++ views within a week (which I think I did with my March 08 video). Lets see how things goes.
Injuries are more or less better already and I'm gonna start training all over again by next week hopefully. But sometimes I still feel pain so I hope things can cure soon. On the other side, my RIGHT knee now is feel minor weirdness and wrist too is getting alittle sore. But they are nothing much but I have to keep in mind that I shouldn't impact them anymore.
My wrist is kinda overused probably, been training alot of handstands and probably climbups too since my knee got fucked. And it has been quite some improvements in both of them. I think I'm gonna get my handstands in a few more months time. Climbups is gonna be solid in another few more months time too. But sadly, my roll still isn't very controlled or smooth so another thing I should start practicing more on.
I'm start serious strength training from August till around October (actually should be from July to Oct, but alas..) which is 3 months of intense strength training. And thats only strength training no movements (except small movements like climbups and roll) for fear that I might get injured or keep getting stupid and unnecessary impacts and I want to concentrate on getting stronger. I hope to gain alot of strength and of course continue to train like 3 times a week during the Nov-Dec holidays, while geting back into movements and tricks.
And what else, hmm.. I seem to be gaining popularity in school after a very bad mistake and some loudmouth. Because of that loudmouth who told a few people, they then got irritating and claim dumbass stuffs then I was almost forced to make a blog post (in my personal blog) and explain what I'm doing, and from there never did I realize that more people would know, and misunderstand yet again, because typical Singaporeans (actually, in general, humans) don't care what it truly means, but rather on how it look like and from there run into some smartass conclusions. Which is totally retarded. Oh and then retarded people keep pestering me, but I will never do anything in front of them. HA!
I think even though I'm resting at home, I should put it into some kind of good use, like learning how to make videos, researching about strength training, doing homework (or even studying, that would be a miracle actually), at least do something that is productive rather then burning my ass on this hot seat retarding around and don't know doing what shits. Or even go down and practice climbups and muscleups. Or rolls and handstands. You'll never know what you can do. I admit I'm really lazy no because I totally lost the training mood after a very long break. Thanks to a stupid incident. But then I really need self-control now. No matter what next week I'm gonna hit the gym. I think I'm gonna lost a great deal of stuffs. Oh well.
Life has been alittle weird since I'ven't been training. Very routinal, very mundane, very lifeless sort. I can't wait to get back into training, but then I feel alil' lazy too. Anyhow, I cannot live life like this, and I cannot run away from it. Soon, soon.
Studies? I think I've been taking it more seriously.. I really don't know why. Even Chinese I can even be bothered to do stuffs. Maths very motivated.. POA is getting boring, Physics too, thanks to the funny but stupid teacher, and Chem is more and more retarded, although its easy. I don't know lah..
But then friends are .. sometimes quite abit of a stress. I really dont know.. sometimes its just very hard to open your mouth and speak, and then very concerned about what will those people think of you. To think about it, I don't really think theres someone in this world that regard me at even their top 3 friends. I don't know. I don't feel very important, I don't feel like I will ever make a difference to a person. I don't believe I've impacting anyone's life before. I'm just some regular classmates or friends you've seen before and poke some fun with. Its confusing. But then, I couldn't be bothered.
I gonna go somewhere else and yak. Thanks for poking your noses into my blog.
If you haven't watch my video, you better do so! I guess to me I'm very happy with the outcome and it looks that its very successful judging by the comments. Yeah man, I'm really happy, but then this is just the beginning of many more videos and eventually a full-length movie to come. Oh well I didn't hit my goal which is having a honor but I wish I could get about a 1k++ views within a week (which I think I did with my March 08 video). Lets see how things goes.
Injuries are more or less better already and I'm gonna start training all over again by next week hopefully. But sometimes I still feel pain so I hope things can cure soon. On the other side, my RIGHT knee now is feel minor weirdness and wrist too is getting alittle sore. But they are nothing much but I have to keep in mind that I shouldn't impact them anymore.
My wrist is kinda overused probably, been training alot of handstands and probably climbups too since my knee got fucked. And it has been quite some improvements in both of them. I think I'm gonna get my handstands in a few more months time. Climbups is gonna be solid in another few more months time too. But sadly, my roll still isn't very controlled or smooth so another thing I should start practicing more on.
I'm start serious strength training from August till around October (actually should be from July to Oct, but alas..) which is 3 months of intense strength training. And thats only strength training no movements (except small movements like climbups and roll) for fear that I might get injured or keep getting stupid and unnecessary impacts and I want to concentrate on getting stronger. I hope to gain alot of strength and of course continue to train like 3 times a week during the Nov-Dec holidays, while geting back into movements and tricks.
And what else, hmm.. I seem to be gaining popularity in school after a very bad mistake and some loudmouth. Because of that loudmouth who told a few people, they then got irritating and claim dumbass stuffs then I was almost forced to make a blog post (in my personal blog) and explain what I'm doing, and from there never did I realize that more people would know, and misunderstand yet again, because typical Singaporeans (actually, in general, humans) don't care what it truly means, but rather on how it look like and from there run into some smartass conclusions. Which is totally retarded. Oh and then retarded people keep pestering me, but I will never do anything in front of them. HA!
I think even though I'm resting at home, I should put it into some kind of good use, like learning how to make videos, researching about strength training, doing homework (or even studying, that would be a miracle actually), at least do something that is productive rather then burning my ass on this hot seat retarding around and don't know doing what shits. Or even go down and practice climbups and muscleups. Or rolls and handstands. You'll never know what you can do. I admit I'm really lazy no because I totally lost the training mood after a very long break. Thanks to a stupid incident. But then I really need self-control now. No matter what next week I'm gonna hit the gym. I think I'm gonna lost a great deal of stuffs. Oh well.
Life has been alittle weird since I'ven't been training. Very routinal, very mundane, very lifeless sort. I can't wait to get back into training, but then I feel alil' lazy too. Anyhow, I cannot live life like this, and I cannot run away from it. Soon, soon.
Studies? I think I've been taking it more seriously.. I really don't know why. Even Chinese I can even be bothered to do stuffs. Maths very motivated.. POA is getting boring, Physics too, thanks to the funny but stupid teacher, and Chem is more and more retarded, although its easy. I don't know lah..
But then friends are .. sometimes quite abit of a stress. I really dont know.. sometimes its just very hard to open your mouth and speak, and then very concerned about what will those people think of you. To think about it, I don't really think theres someone in this world that regard me at even their top 3 friends. I don't know. I don't feel very important, I don't feel like I will ever make a difference to a person. I don't believe I've impacting anyone's life before. I'm just some regular classmates or friends you've seen before and poke some fun with. Its confusing. But then, I couldn't be bothered.
I gonna go somewhere else and yak. Thanks for poking your noses into my blog.
Monday, July 7, 2008
Quick post.
I think I'm gonna rest for another week, and possibly talk to a physio on wednesday if things doesn't get any better. For those still not in the know, read this properly, my left knee is screwed up because of those stupid incident.. 40 times++ wallpasses and yet failed to do it, repeated impacts.. which lead to those pain in the knee. My right toe is still not recovered from the sprain, because of yet another careless and stupid mistake.. but oh well, injuries are almost always accidental.
I really hope i could recover soon or not training will not be good. Its nearly 2 weeks of inactivity already, and wasted a week of supposedly strength training. But then now because of this stupid injuries things are still not very good... ahh well sucks. I really need to start training soon.
Anyway just some updates to my training. I would start about next week and spend the whole of this month, and august, sept and oct to strength train. thats like 3 and 1/2 months fully strength training and purely that. no movements at all, because it will also increases the chances of more bails and injuries, and repeated impacts. that will be to test my self discipline and determination. we all know that nov and dec is school hols so more time to train movements, but not saying im not gonna strength train at all.. im still gonna do it 3 times at least, while doing movements 2 times.. to train back my technique and everything. by then i would be alot stronger. now first thing first - get rid of injuries.
also i gotten my straighed armed climbup, and to those who are not sure whats that, its informally called the teghead's clmbup hahahahaha. its gotten consistent but that doesnt mean i should be complacent but rather continue training it. i think while i dont do movements at all.. i still have to train climbups and rolls as they are rather safe and low impact. also practicing handstands at home.. and stretch alot and eat lots more protein!
for the latest video that im working on.. its gonna be drag again and again.. feels quite irritating but no choice. by right should be done by today but then because of the lovely weather and some guys couldnt turn up, sadly have to postpone it again. i cant wait any longer... although i dont want things to be in a rush, at this rate, im not gonna finish filming at all.. awh well lets just hope that all goes well on friday and everyting its done by then, so i can stop dragging it. arghh.. i feel very irritated sia.. damn.. hais..
just a quick update which i thought would be good i dont know why.. im rushing all my words so im not speaking the "proper english" way.. and im still cp.
ye itches. shit.. i cant press b..
waitttttttt!!!
thought i'll let you know this too.
CP.\\ says (08:27 PM):
i decided
i'll stop entertaining those unserious, irritating, poser-ish, bad mindset, etc. newcomers
CP.\\ says (08:28 PM):
i will just dont care about what they say although its stupid/wrong/retarded
if they do stupid stuffs, i could just care less
i should get so irritated and fed up with those kind of things... because it doesnt matter at all to me
CP.\\ says (08:29 PM):
as i know since i got quite alot of hits thru youtube, internet.. sooner or later i'llget popular and shit.. which is sad..
CP.\\ says (08:30 PM):
more newcomers will suck up to me
i wont entertain them
you might think its unfair, bad, selfish.. but unless the newcomer is really serious and have the correct mindset and everything, then i might just think about it..
CP.\\ says (08:31 PM):
but then its usually not the case in the singapore parkour scene nowadays
people like yuanhan, zhiyang, if they talk to me i will give a very lazy reply.. i dont care whatever else
i dont wanna waste my time on those fools
why should i be so fucked up with what they do anyway, when it doesnt make any difference to my life at all
CP.\\ says (08:32 PM):
anyway yuanhan should start being independant already because he trained more then like 9months..
i started teaching him when im about 8months (including the poser months)
so yeah
CP.\\ says (08:33 PM):
i dont feel like being a very highprofile person, it could only lead to more popularity and sometimes showing off and shits like that
i give up on newcomers already
they will hardly change, im so bored of it
i shouldnt care about what those kids will say
CP.\\ says (08:34 PM):
if yuanhan wants to be a showoff, dblucy wants to progress the world fastest, zhiyang wanna be an competitive bitch, then so be it
who the hell cares anyway
just let them be
anyway its not like i never warn them
CP.\\ says (08:35 PM):
even if i didnt, they should know themselves that its stupid and wrong
but nevermind.. i keep my comments to myself
train the way i want to
stop making jams session for newcomers
stop entertaining them
keep a low profile
and relax
CP.\\ says (08:36 PM):
i really shouldnt bother
about retarded newcomers. all said and well-explained above.
next, convo with glen
CP.\\ says (09:35 PM):
i guess i know my reasons why i want many views already
few reasons
because i like making videos.. its only one wish to make the video successful by gaining more views
CP.\\ says (09:36 PM):
although its looks like attracting attention, showing off, gaining recognition and stuffs..
but then its still the no. of views (and comments, and no. of favorites) that shows how successful the vid is
i dont really have an intention to be very well-known
CP.\\ says (09:37 PM):
well yes, to certain extent, but i want to be popular at the uk scene..
because they are very inspiring.. i like those people there, and i swear im gonna meet them some day
i just wanna show them some of my videos..
but i dont wish to be very popular in the local scene
CP.\\ says (09:38 PM):
i dont like being popular actually
i really dont
and another reason is
i dont know, a sense of achievement maybe
CP.\\ says (09:39 PM):
but i know myself.. its not meant for showing off purposes.. i dont see much need to showoff
i dont really need so much attention.. whatever for
i mean.. it will only make yourself more highprofile
things wont be that nice
and besides, i know that everyone secretly wants to get more views, in some way or another
CP.\\ says (09:40 PM):
because its good to know that your video is being watched
i dont know anyone that wont argue that they dont want more views
thats what i think
CP.\\ says (09:41 PM):
i dont know.. but i know when i make a video my main intention is not to gain recognition or showoff, etc. but rather to see the outcome of the video
how nice and how well done it is to me.. and i hope to know other opinions as well, note progression, see where i can improve in anything
thats what important to me
CP.\\ says (09:42 PM):
you know that i have a long term dream of becoming a filmmaker one day
and this would be good starting point, hopefully
Glen Poh Junkie says (09:42 PM):
haha i know, dont worry i understand even if you didnt tell me now.
Glen Poh Junkie says (09:43 PM):
im very observant person :P
convo above about videos and stuffs.
hahaha
I really hope i could recover soon or not training will not be good. Its nearly 2 weeks of inactivity already, and wasted a week of supposedly strength training. But then now because of this stupid injuries things are still not very good... ahh well sucks. I really need to start training soon.
Anyway just some updates to my training. I would start about next week and spend the whole of this month, and august, sept and oct to strength train. thats like 3 and 1/2 months fully strength training and purely that. no movements at all, because it will also increases the chances of more bails and injuries, and repeated impacts. that will be to test my self discipline and determination. we all know that nov and dec is school hols so more time to train movements, but not saying im not gonna strength train at all.. im still gonna do it 3 times at least, while doing movements 2 times.. to train back my technique and everything. by then i would be alot stronger. now first thing first - get rid of injuries.
also i gotten my straighed armed climbup, and to those who are not sure whats that, its informally called the teghead's clmbup hahahahaha. its gotten consistent but that doesnt mean i should be complacent but rather continue training it. i think while i dont do movements at all.. i still have to train climbups and rolls as they are rather safe and low impact. also practicing handstands at home.. and stretch alot and eat lots more protein!
for the latest video that im working on.. its gonna be drag again and again.. feels quite irritating but no choice. by right should be done by today but then because of the lovely weather and some guys couldnt turn up, sadly have to postpone it again. i cant wait any longer... although i dont want things to be in a rush, at this rate, im not gonna finish filming at all.. awh well lets just hope that all goes well on friday and everyting its done by then, so i can stop dragging it. arghh.. i feel very irritated sia.. damn.. hais..
just a quick update which i thought would be good i dont know why.. im rushing all my words so im not speaking the "proper english" way.. and im still cp.
ye itches. shit.. i cant press b..
waitttttttt!!!
thought i'll let you know this too.
CP.\\ says (08:27 PM):
i decided
i'll stop entertaining those unserious, irritating, poser-ish, bad mindset, etc. newcomers
CP.\\ says (08:28 PM):
i will just dont care about what they say although its stupid/wrong/retarded
if they do stupid stuffs, i could just care less
i should get so irritated and fed up with those kind of things... because it doesnt matter at all to me
CP.\\ says (08:29 PM):
as i know since i got quite alot of hits thru youtube, internet.. sooner or later i'llget popular and shit.. which is sad..
CP.\\ says (08:30 PM):
more newcomers will suck up to me
i wont entertain them
you might think its unfair, bad, selfish.. but unless the newcomer is really serious and have the correct mindset and everything, then i might just think about it..
CP.\\ says (08:31 PM):
but then its usually not the case in the singapore parkour scene nowadays
people like yuanhan, zhiyang, if they talk to me i will give a very lazy reply.. i dont care whatever else
i dont wanna waste my time on those fools
why should i be so fucked up with what they do anyway, when it doesnt make any difference to my life at all
CP.\\ says (08:32 PM):
anyway yuanhan should start being independant already because he trained more then like 9months..
i started teaching him when im about 8months (including the poser months)
so yeah
CP.\\ says (08:33 PM):
i dont feel like being a very highprofile person, it could only lead to more popularity and sometimes showing off and shits like that
i give up on newcomers already
they will hardly change, im so bored of it
i shouldnt care about what those kids will say
CP.\\ says (08:34 PM):
if yuanhan wants to be a showoff, dblucy wants to progress the world fastest, zhiyang wanna be an competitive bitch, then so be it
who the hell cares anyway
just let them be
anyway its not like i never warn them
CP.\\ says (08:35 PM):
even if i didnt, they should know themselves that its stupid and wrong
but nevermind.. i keep my comments to myself
train the way i want to
stop making jams session for newcomers
stop entertaining them
keep a low profile
and relax
CP.\\ says (08:36 PM):
i really shouldnt bother
about retarded newcomers. all said and well-explained above.
next, convo with glen
CP.\\ says (09:35 PM):
i guess i know my reasons why i want many views already
few reasons
because i like making videos.. its only one wish to make the video successful by gaining more views
CP.\\ says (09:36 PM):
although its looks like attracting attention, showing off, gaining recognition and stuffs..
but then its still the no. of views (and comments, and no. of favorites) that shows how successful the vid is
i dont really have an intention to be very well-known
CP.\\ says (09:37 PM):
well yes, to certain extent, but i want to be popular at the uk scene..
because they are very inspiring.. i like those people there, and i swear im gonna meet them some day
i just wanna show them some of my videos..
but i dont wish to be very popular in the local scene
CP.\\ says (09:38 PM):
i dont like being popular actually
i really dont
and another reason is
i dont know, a sense of achievement maybe
CP.\\ says (09:39 PM):
but i know myself.. its not meant for showing off purposes.. i dont see much need to showoff
i dont really need so much attention.. whatever for
i mean.. it will only make yourself more highprofile
things wont be that nice
and besides, i know that everyone secretly wants to get more views, in some way or another
CP.\\ says (09:40 PM):
because its good to know that your video is being watched
i dont know anyone that wont argue that they dont want more views
thats what i think
CP.\\ says (09:41 PM):
i dont know.. but i know when i make a video my main intention is not to gain recognition or showoff, etc. but rather to see the outcome of the video
how nice and how well done it is to me.. and i hope to know other opinions as well, note progression, see where i can improve in anything
thats what important to me
CP.\\ says (09:42 PM):
you know that i have a long term dream of becoming a filmmaker one day
and this would be good starting point, hopefully
Glen Poh Junkie says (09:42 PM):
haha i know, dont worry i understand even if you didnt tell me now.
Glen Poh Junkie says (09:43 PM):
im very observant person :P
convo above about videos and stuffs.
hahaha
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Damn it.
Yet another rant of usual daisies.
Borrrrrringgggggg. Fuck my knee, now I'm getting scared. I think it is nothing serious but there is no guarantee. At such a young age, and only training for not more then 16 months, some shitty knee probelm already. All thanks to poor self-control, not listen to my body, and pure stupidity. All of that combined with the "repeat mistakes and never learn from them" shit. How about that.
I hope to resume training from next week. I kinda lost interest of training again because of the long draught of training. So irritating. But I'll still need to see my condition before training again. And probably I'm gonna say this in hopes that I finally realize and mean what I say, start train low-impacts, strength training more, train safe, stay focused, don't force myself, no bails, self-awareness, stuffs that I know I'm capable of, nothing big, don't do anything stupid, control myself, listening to my body, stop repeating same old dumb mistakes. REALLY. As much as how the 6 capitalized letters seems like having the words "irony" displayed in luminous LED lights right above it, this time (probably the 57th time already), its damn true.
Recently after this stupid incident (the incident that I wish to forget because everytime I think of it, bad thoughts come into mind and makes me feel damn fucking stupid), I've been thinking of movements. Was wondering, why does it only happens on wallpasses (who mostly newcomers would agree, a movement seemingly looks kinda harmless and not really stressful), when I keep forcing myself to do until I get it. Why not on far precision jumps, not on far SDCs, not on armjumps, or some other shits.
Answer is actually quite easy, my wallpass are fucking inconsistent. The world's most inconsistent movement, ever. I now still cannot climb castle 100%. Which is dumb. I mean Nazir's wallpass at dino is already damn consistent, on shorter walls he can pop it straight. His technique is one of a kind. To me he is the king of wallpasses (what a way to say it). Anyway, lets see, the infamous wall where my recent stupid incident is, when I was filming this wallpass for my March sampler, I took only three tries. I'm not sure its by luck or what, but I know that even though I have progressed more and this time even after 40 idiotic attempts, I can only grip the edge for a second and lose hold of it in some tries. Why haven't I progressed? I know I've been practicing a fair amount of wallpasses too. My technique still sucks, probably. Even on low walls I feel I use alot of effort in a wallpass. And I have to really subconsciously think to jump up LIKE HELL, but still fail to do so. My muscle memory is full of shit. Wallpass is my most hated technique. I'm not gonna care about wallpass anymore!! Only short walls. SHORT WALLS ROCKS!! At least if I do a faster wallpass is better then do a super high wall and getting up slowly :P BECAUSE I CAN PULL YOUR LEGS DOWN !! WALLPASS SUCKS!!
I only say that because I hate bad memories.
My favourite technique or movements is definitely the saut de chat. Best movements on earth. When you do it, you're like flying, only for a second that is. Jokes aside, I think thats my best, I really like doing it, I could say its my strength. Although it is rarely efficient in real-time runs, My vaults are also my strength too. I'm good and comfortable with them, I think I could link vaults pretty well too, but yeap thats it.
Armjumps are my second favourite movements, so much better then wallpasses. I like landing onto the wall and my landing on it is quite nice. Sure I've yet to conquered the castle huge running armjump, but its just a matter of time, when I've grown taller, they will come, easily :). My climbups after armjumps are still not really solid, but once they are, I swear they're so gonna be sick, fo' realz. Soon soon.
My precisions are pretty weak too. Sure I can jump a distance but then when it comes to balancing and control, I suck. My rail precisions are most oftenly by luck. I can't balance properly on small surfaces. My boxjumps are kinda very sloppy too. Also, my arm swinging is super weird sometimes. I'm still not very good in it, so much to practice on.
Laches and other small movements, LaCHES are fun to do, really fun. Climbups are nice too, although I've yet to do the straight-armed climbup. My rolls sucks. 180s are quite fun but I suck at it too.
I don't know why am I talking all this shit but, take it that I'm bored or what. I'm always bored.
Videos, the latest video I'm working is so far so good. I've been editing about the first third of the clip and its very cool already. I really can't wait to see the end product. Nowadays have been experimenting and editing the video slowly bit by bit. I still can't finish editing the whole video as yet because I still lack a couple of clips. But I don't want this video to be finished hasty because I hope to display my editing and filming at its best. And some movements is pretty big as well. As much as this video seem like a showreel, its not, its just a video to experiment editing and note progression, but thats pretty much it. I have a fun time editing, and I'm sure the outcome of this video would be pretty wicked. Just you wait!
And Glen said things about newcomers I've thought that really made sense. Lets not care about newcomers anymore now as they also dont really care about what we say anyway. So theres no point. Its really hard to see the future of PKSG, we can only hope and pray. We shouldn't bother much about them either. They will only make is bore us to death or we get sick of them. They ultimately move and do the things the way they want it to be. So we could care less.
Anyway nowadays I've been procrastinating alot and I can't get myself to do something else like doing homework or at least practice some handstands and rolls. I'm super lazy right now. I don't know what I do on computers anyway. Straight after school I head back home and play this computer non-stop. Thats because I'm not training. Because of some stupid injuries. Because of some stupid incident. Because of stupid lack of self-control. Because of not learning from stupid mistakes. Because I don't know whats wrong with me. Because I have no more sentence to write down anymore. SO BYEBYE ITCHES.
Borrrrrringgggggg. Fuck my knee, now I'm getting scared. I think it is nothing serious but there is no guarantee. At such a young age, and only training for not more then 16 months, some shitty knee probelm already. All thanks to poor self-control, not listen to my body, and pure stupidity. All of that combined with the "repeat mistakes and never learn from them" shit. How about that.
I hope to resume training from next week. I kinda lost interest of training again because of the long draught of training. So irritating. But I'll still need to see my condition before training again. And probably I'm gonna say this in hopes that I finally realize and mean what I say, start train low-impacts, strength training more, train safe, stay focused, don't force myself, no bails, self-awareness, stuffs that I know I'm capable of, nothing big, don't do anything stupid, control myself, listening to my body, stop repeating same old dumb mistakes. REALLY. As much as how the 6 capitalized letters seems like having the words "irony" displayed in luminous LED lights right above it, this time (probably the 57th time already), its damn true.
Recently after this stupid incident (the incident that I wish to forget because everytime I think of it, bad thoughts come into mind and makes me feel damn fucking stupid), I've been thinking of movements. Was wondering, why does it only happens on wallpasses (who mostly newcomers would agree, a movement seemingly looks kinda harmless and not really stressful), when I keep forcing myself to do until I get it. Why not on far precision jumps, not on far SDCs, not on armjumps, or some other shits.
Answer is actually quite easy, my wallpass are fucking inconsistent. The world's most inconsistent movement, ever. I now still cannot climb castle 100%. Which is dumb. I mean Nazir's wallpass at dino is already damn consistent, on shorter walls he can pop it straight. His technique is one of a kind. To me he is the king of wallpasses (what a way to say it). Anyway, lets see, the infamous wall where my recent stupid incident is, when I was filming this wallpass for my March sampler, I took only three tries. I'm not sure its by luck or what, but I know that even though I have progressed more and this time even after 40 idiotic attempts, I can only grip the edge for a second and lose hold of it in some tries. Why haven't I progressed? I know I've been practicing a fair amount of wallpasses too. My technique still sucks, probably. Even on low walls I feel I use alot of effort in a wallpass. And I have to really subconsciously think to jump up LIKE HELL, but still fail to do so. My muscle memory is full of shit. Wallpass is my most hated technique. I'm not gonna care about wallpass anymore!! Only short walls. SHORT WALLS ROCKS!! At least if I do a faster wallpass is better then do a super high wall and getting up slowly :P BECAUSE I CAN PULL YOUR LEGS DOWN !! WALLPASS SUCKS!!
I only say that because I hate bad memories.
My favourite technique or movements is definitely the saut de chat. Best movements on earth. When you do it, you're like flying, only for a second that is. Jokes aside, I think thats my best, I really like doing it, I could say its my strength. Although it is rarely efficient in real-time runs, My vaults are also my strength too. I'm good and comfortable with them, I think I could link vaults pretty well too, but yeap thats it.
Armjumps are my second favourite movements, so much better then wallpasses. I like landing onto the wall and my landing on it is quite nice. Sure I've yet to conquered the castle huge running armjump, but its just a matter of time, when I've grown taller, they will come, easily :). My climbups after armjumps are still not really solid, but once they are, I swear they're so gonna be sick, fo' realz. Soon soon.
My precisions are pretty weak too. Sure I can jump a distance but then when it comes to balancing and control, I suck. My rail precisions are most oftenly by luck. I can't balance properly on small surfaces. My boxjumps are kinda very sloppy too. Also, my arm swinging is super weird sometimes. I'm still not very good in it, so much to practice on.
Laches and other small movements, LaCHES are fun to do, really fun. Climbups are nice too, although I've yet to do the straight-armed climbup. My rolls sucks. 180s are quite fun but I suck at it too.
I don't know why am I talking all this shit but, take it that I'm bored or what. I'm always bored.
Videos, the latest video I'm working is so far so good. I've been editing about the first third of the clip and its very cool already. I really can't wait to see the end product. Nowadays have been experimenting and editing the video slowly bit by bit. I still can't finish editing the whole video as yet because I still lack a couple of clips. But I don't want this video to be finished hasty because I hope to display my editing and filming at its best. And some movements is pretty big as well. As much as this video seem like a showreel, its not, its just a video to experiment editing and note progression, but thats pretty much it. I have a fun time editing, and I'm sure the outcome of this video would be pretty wicked. Just you wait!
And Glen said things about newcomers I've thought that really made sense. Lets not care about newcomers anymore now as they also dont really care about what we say anyway. So theres no point. Its really hard to see the future of PKSG, we can only hope and pray. We shouldn't bother much about them either. They will only make is bore us to death or we get sick of them. They ultimately move and do the things the way they want it to be. So we could care less.
Anyway nowadays I've been procrastinating alot and I can't get myself to do something else like doing homework or at least practice some handstands and rolls. I'm super lazy right now. I don't know what I do on computers anyway. Straight after school I head back home and play this computer non-stop. Thats because I'm not training. Because of some stupid injuries. Because of some stupid incident. Because of stupid lack of self-control. Because of not learning from stupid mistakes. Because I don't know whats wrong with me. Because I have no more sentence to write down anymore. SO BYEBYE ITCHES.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Back to my same old days.
So utterly disappointed.
What you are probably gonna read is something you read before a thousand times already, almost like reading the same thing over and over again, so what I'm suggesting now is to skip this post and go sleep or something, because its totally not worth of your time. I'm serious. You are reading what you ALREADY read. So stop wasting your time. Time is precious. Time is money. Time is irreplaceable. Really. Go to surf other websites man, this is not something you will be interested of reading. Anyway even if you continue read, its not going to make you any smarter or what as you already know the words I'm gonna say.
Not gone yet? You really wanna waste your time? You got so much time of your life so you want to spend a couple of precious minutes reading a written piece of crap you already read, not once, not twice, but some many times already? You are really persistent to continue reading on? Really really want to read something you already read already? Something like this -
Not gone yet? You really wanna waste your time? You got so much time of your life so you want to spend a couple of precious minutes reading a written piece of crap you already read, not once, not twice, but some many times already? You are really persistent to continue reading on? Really really want to read something you already read already?
See what I mean? Really man, you already wasted at least 1 minute reading the shits above. You still wanna waste your time, the time that can be used for a much better alternative, such as training, doing something more productive, reading something more interesting, watching a couple of entertaining video, you name it, on reading this already read-ed shit?
Damn, you are really stubborn. This is your last warning. Stop wasting the seconds of your life, reading this line now. No really. You are soo stubborn. Despite all this warnings, you still decided to read on, and waste the extra minutes of your life, so after reading the things I'm gonna write below, I hope you don't go "why didn't I go off earlier, I wasted 10 minutes of my life," or something on the lines of that.
This is your final chance.
To get lost.
Oh my god, just get lost will you?
Nevermind, since you want to waste your time, I shall help you.
Today, on 27/06/08, Friday, 21st century, around 18.30 to 19.05, I did some really stupid things.
End of story.
Now get lost.
Damn, get lost lah. Please. I'm helping you to save time. Really. Do you think I'm lying? Stop making me write so many lines to just make you get out of my sight (or blog) man. I'm also tired, and I got a life. So stop wasting my time on telling you not to waste your time. Ok?
Please. Thanks.
Bye.
Fine, I should not give a damn about you anymore. Lets get back on topic.
Ok, let the topic suggested, I was back to my same old days, where I, something that I've said and repeated and reiterated so many billion times, keep pushing myself to limits, never listen to my body, forced myself to do stuffs, have no self-control, add synonyms here.
Yep. The wall, again. Why? Because I insisted that I have to film the wallpass by today. By today, keywords. Why by today? Because I don't want to wait to edit my sampler anymore. Why not? Lazy mah.
Thats me. What my body says is. Stop doing the wallpass, I'm tired, lets go home and head back here at least on another day. Really, stop it. You got so many time in the world, you are still young, stop impacting yourself. Knee hurts, lets stop doing it, at least stop now or not things get worse. Its getting late, legs are tired, lets go man. You have already failed 40+ attempts, stop it already.
I didn't listen to what my body said. My temptation and my thoughts got the better of me, yet again. I always succumb to temptation and what my mind thinks only. Even I know that I can't climb the already quite obviously because my technique worsen, I'm frustrated, my legs are tired, and its already getting late and everything, even my knee is hurt. Why did I even thought of trying it again? Why can't I control myself and head back home? Why do I insist to carry on filming what I could film some other day, when I'm fresher? Why do I keep forcing myself to do a wall, which is quite obviously too hard for me since I used alot of effort but yet failed to do so? Why?
Thats what I can't understand either, its just that lack of selfcontrol and discipline, the persistence of doing what my mind whats, how I can't stop doing things, how I don't learn from my repeated mistakes, blinded by the consequences, and really, how I can't stop pushing my limits and force my body to do things that its not prepared for. I really can't stop it. I'm so guilty of repeating the lines "I MUST HAVE SELF CONTROL AND BE MORE SENSIBLE!". The words stare straights to me, written on my long-term goals to be achieved by this year. But at this rate, could I even achieve that goal? After how bad my self-control is, how I JUST can't listen to my body. I don't know why, but I JUST CANT. I prove my point to you so many times already. If only I could listen to my body, I wouldn't be so disappointed, frustrated and angry or regret over such things. Even I realize my mistakes, it happens again. I can't say that it won't happen again anymore. Because I said that 100 times, and its just words. Its just speech. No action.
I don't know what to do, I'm in a state of confusion. I lost myself. Speechless. Until I have to resort to such emo words. I feel that I'm talking in such a sarcastic manner that I don't even think its funny. And that sentence doesn't make any sense.
I'm just, very disappointed. Because of the camera, you can do anything. Actually to be honest to think about it, even I finally gotten my wallpass filmed at the 40th attempt or something, I still wouldn't be happy, because I forced myself to do it, just for the camera. Thats something bad. I don't really remember any film 40 takes to finally get a nice clip. It's just stupid. Why do you wanna film something you cannot do? Thinking back. Why am I so stupid. People looking around will go, what is this stupid boy doing? At least if I managed to climb the wall, they will be suprised or something.
Its something way out of my standard. I'm also disappointed with my technique too. After training for so long, my wallpass is still one of the worst movement yet. Its super inconsistent. I still can't climb castle wall 95% yet. Its just one technique that can't get into my muscle memory. If you want to ask whats my "best" technique, I would say its my SDC. I like SDCs, they're awesome. I'm good at that, and just that to be honest, I'm not being humble, its just being honest. My precision sucks, wallpass worse, armjump are so so, everything else are just like very normal, not much of a difference. To you guys I'm probably joking, but this is how I see my things. But yeah, I'm still happy to be able to do this things only after 16 months of training. But my self-control is horrible.
Theres alot of things to talk about now, things happens in a flash. I can say dblucy is now really crazy and progress in a crazy (but not really very healthy) speed. Newcomers like Zhiyang is still being annoying at times, claim some really stupid things, and treating me like a god or what, and other like you know who is still trying to be stupid and showoff, competitive thinking, progress the fastest in the world (but he can't, dblucy is the one to beat). Only one newcomer have potential, just one, but sometimes, he can't think properly either. All I got to do is hope.
And what about newcomers is how they think. Or how the public thinks about the world. Now I'm very convinced that people nowadays are just concerned of how things LOOKS, but not how things truly are. Yeah, because of some loudmouth in my school, now more and more people now I "PLAY" PARKOUR. I'm so bored or them. I cannot be assed to entertain their predictable nonsense. I give up, people are just too stubborn. They can't understand or even be bothered to listen to you anyway. They are so close-minded, and they are ever so convinced that what they think is right. Why am I not suprised.
(You can actually read my in my personal blog @ deeenester.blogspot.com, now more frequently updated, soon gonna write up something about parkour to explain it to them, so that they can finally stop claim bullshits.)
ANYWAY,
Now, the thing is, this time is not only just repeated impacts. Now my knee is hurting. And I'm not joking, its true. If it still hurts tomorrow, I'm gonna rest from Parkour, and go to the docs. And probably say (but never do, although how much I claim so), I'm gonna just focus purely on strength training and VERY LIGHT movements. But how so, with such lousy discipline? How so, with no self-control at all? How so, after so many such cases and yet repeat the same mistakes all over again for countless times? I don't know what to do. But if things still stays the same way, I'm not going to have a very good future, to not only the disappointment of myself, but to the disappointment of Ashton and fellow pioneers and traceurs and friends.
I can't trust what I say anymore, because it has been proven over and over again that I'm going only going to say stuffs and mean that I'm gonna do it, but however so I say, how strong the claim looks, I'm still going back on my words. This is so dumb.
I cannot trust even myself anymore. Thats how sad my life is.
Oh well.
And that marks the (real) end of this post, and thanks for wasting around 10 to 15 (or more) minutes of your life reading to my nonsensical rant. I already warn you, since you don't want to listen, this is what you get. Bye.
What you are probably gonna read is something you read before a thousand times already, almost like reading the same thing over and over again, so what I'm suggesting now is to skip this post and go sleep or something, because its totally not worth of your time. I'm serious. You are reading what you ALREADY read. So stop wasting your time. Time is precious. Time is money. Time is irreplaceable. Really. Go to surf other websites man, this is not something you will be interested of reading. Anyway even if you continue read, its not going to make you any smarter or what as you already know the words I'm gonna say.
Not gone yet? You really wanna waste your time? You got so much time of your life so you want to spend a couple of precious minutes reading a written piece of crap you already read, not once, not twice, but some many times already? You are really persistent to continue reading on? Really really want to read something you already read already? Something like this -
Not gone yet? You really wanna waste your time? You got so much time of your life so you want to spend a couple of precious minutes reading a written piece of crap you already read, not once, not twice, but some many times already? You are really persistent to continue reading on? Really really want to read something you already read already?
See what I mean? Really man, you already wasted at least 1 minute reading the shits above. You still wanna waste your time, the time that can be used for a much better alternative, such as training, doing something more productive, reading something more interesting, watching a couple of entertaining video, you name it, on reading this already read-ed shit?
Damn, you are really stubborn. This is your last warning. Stop wasting the seconds of your life, reading this line now. No really. You are soo stubborn. Despite all this warnings, you still decided to read on, and waste the extra minutes of your life, so after reading the things I'm gonna write below, I hope you don't go "why didn't I go off earlier, I wasted 10 minutes of my life," or something on the lines of that.
This is your final chance.
To get lost.
Oh my god, just get lost will you?
Nevermind, since you want to waste your time, I shall help you.
Today, on 27/06/08, Friday, 21st century, around 18.30 to 19.05, I did some really stupid things.
End of story.
Now get lost.
Damn, get lost lah. Please. I'm helping you to save time. Really. Do you think I'm lying? Stop making me write so many lines to just make you get out of my sight (or blog) man. I'm also tired, and I got a life. So stop wasting my time on telling you not to waste your time. Ok?
Please. Thanks.
Bye.
Fine, I should not give a damn about you anymore. Lets get back on topic.
Ok, let the topic suggested, I was back to my same old days, where I, something that I've said and repeated and reiterated so many billion times, keep pushing myself to limits, never listen to my body, forced myself to do stuffs, have no self-control, add synonyms here.
Yep. The wall, again. Why? Because I insisted that I have to film the wallpass by today. By today, keywords. Why by today? Because I don't want to wait to edit my sampler anymore. Why not? Lazy mah.
Thats me. What my body says is. Stop doing the wallpass, I'm tired, lets go home and head back here at least on another day. Really, stop it. You got so many time in the world, you are still young, stop impacting yourself. Knee hurts, lets stop doing it, at least stop now or not things get worse. Its getting late, legs are tired, lets go man. You have already failed 40+ attempts, stop it already.
I didn't listen to what my body said. My temptation and my thoughts got the better of me, yet again. I always succumb to temptation and what my mind thinks only. Even I know that I can't climb the already quite obviously because my technique worsen, I'm frustrated, my legs are tired, and its already getting late and everything, even my knee is hurt. Why did I even thought of trying it again? Why can't I control myself and head back home? Why do I insist to carry on filming what I could film some other day, when I'm fresher? Why do I keep forcing myself to do a wall, which is quite obviously too hard for me since I used alot of effort but yet failed to do so? Why?
Thats what I can't understand either, its just that lack of selfcontrol and discipline, the persistence of doing what my mind whats, how I can't stop doing things, how I don't learn from my repeated mistakes, blinded by the consequences, and really, how I can't stop pushing my limits and force my body to do things that its not prepared for. I really can't stop it. I'm so guilty of repeating the lines "I MUST HAVE SELF CONTROL AND BE MORE SENSIBLE!". The words stare straights to me, written on my long-term goals to be achieved by this year. But at this rate, could I even achieve that goal? After how bad my self-control is, how I JUST can't listen to my body. I don't know why, but I JUST CANT. I prove my point to you so many times already. If only I could listen to my body, I wouldn't be so disappointed, frustrated and angry or regret over such things. Even I realize my mistakes, it happens again. I can't say that it won't happen again anymore. Because I said that 100 times, and its just words. Its just speech. No action.
I don't know what to do, I'm in a state of confusion. I lost myself. Speechless. Until I have to resort to such emo words. I feel that I'm talking in such a sarcastic manner that I don't even think its funny. And that sentence doesn't make any sense.
I'm just, very disappointed. Because of the camera, you can do anything. Actually to be honest to think about it, even I finally gotten my wallpass filmed at the 40th attempt or something, I still wouldn't be happy, because I forced myself to do it, just for the camera. Thats something bad. I don't really remember any film 40 takes to finally get a nice clip. It's just stupid. Why do you wanna film something you cannot do? Thinking back. Why am I so stupid. People looking around will go, what is this stupid boy doing? At least if I managed to climb the wall, they will be suprised or something.
Its something way out of my standard. I'm also disappointed with my technique too. After training for so long, my wallpass is still one of the worst movement yet. Its super inconsistent. I still can't climb castle wall 95% yet. Its just one technique that can't get into my muscle memory. If you want to ask whats my "best" technique, I would say its my SDC. I like SDCs, they're awesome. I'm good at that, and just that to be honest, I'm not being humble, its just being honest. My precision sucks, wallpass worse, armjump are so so, everything else are just like very normal, not much of a difference. To you guys I'm probably joking, but this is how I see my things. But yeah, I'm still happy to be able to do this things only after 16 months of training. But my self-control is horrible.
Theres alot of things to talk about now, things happens in a flash. I can say dblucy is now really crazy and progress in a crazy (but not really very healthy) speed. Newcomers like Zhiyang is still being annoying at times, claim some really stupid things, and treating me like a god or what, and other like you know who is still trying to be stupid and showoff, competitive thinking, progress the fastest in the world (but he can't, dblucy is the one to beat). Only one newcomer have potential, just one, but sometimes, he can't think properly either. All I got to do is hope.
And what about newcomers is how they think. Or how the public thinks about the world. Now I'm very convinced that people nowadays are just concerned of how things LOOKS, but not how things truly are. Yeah, because of some loudmouth in my school, now more and more people now I "PLAY" PARKOUR. I'm so bored or them. I cannot be assed to entertain their predictable nonsense. I give up, people are just too stubborn. They can't understand or even be bothered to listen to you anyway. They are so close-minded, and they are ever so convinced that what they think is right. Why am I not suprised.
(You can actually read my in my personal blog @ deeenester.blogspot.com, now more frequently updated, soon gonna write up something about parkour to explain it to them, so that they can finally stop claim bullshits.)
ANYWAY,
Now, the thing is, this time is not only just repeated impacts. Now my knee is hurting. And I'm not joking, its true. If it still hurts tomorrow, I'm gonna rest from Parkour, and go to the docs. And probably say (but never do, although how much I claim so), I'm gonna just focus purely on strength training and VERY LIGHT movements. But how so, with such lousy discipline? How so, with no self-control at all? How so, after so many such cases and yet repeat the same mistakes all over again for countless times? I don't know what to do. But if things still stays the same way, I'm not going to have a very good future, to not only the disappointment of myself, but to the disappointment of Ashton and fellow pioneers and traceurs and friends.
I can't trust what I say anymore, because it has been proven over and over again that I'm going only going to say stuffs and mean that I'm gonna do it, but however so I say, how strong the claim looks, I'm still going back on my words. This is so dumb.
I cannot trust even myself anymore. Thats how sad my life is.
Oh well.
And that marks the (real) end of this post, and thanks for wasting around 10 to 15 (or more) minutes of your life reading to my nonsensical rant. I already warn you, since you don't want to listen, this is what you get. Bye.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Let's see.
I think I will stop talking about training for awhile and rant about the stuffs affecting training and things about it for this post. I think this will be a long post, but I really can't be bothered.
First up, about how newcomers think about Parkour.
I can really see plentiful newcomers nowadays, they have potential, as in they have the skills. They are very good, they progress very fast. Some of them do strength training, conditioning, and stuffs. Thats good, but there is one thing about it - Why do they even train? I can see alot of newcomers now, they don't mean what they say too. They go on saying, "I train to get stronger/to improve myself/so that I can escape/for myself." or "Because its fun/I like it." Whatever the reasons is, although might not sound appropriate, as long as they mean what they say, and they know what they are doing. So far, most of the answer to the question when I ask them "Why do you Parkour?" are short answers and very cliche ones. Do you expect me to believe what they say? I think they read it from some where and just blindly copy-and-pasted it to the conversation.
Yeah you get what I mean. The way I see those newcomers train Parkour, is quite negative. Some of them do Parkour just like any other hobby or pastime, or they just do it for the sake of it, unknowingly, or some even worse, for showing off purposes, to be better then others, or whatever other nonsense. Its true, damn true. Just look around you nowadays. No one takes Parkour as a serious discipline now. Although Parkour is meant to be fun and stuffs, but the way they do it now is like just any other sports you see, rollerskating, bboying, skateboarding. So what if you are so good or what, when your mindset sucks.
I can't do anything to it though.
Sometimes when we are doing stuffs, training, we never realize something. About the chances of bailing. It's not about bailing as in the very obvious of like slipping, or missing the rail, or falling backwards if you missed the precision. It is about the very minor aspect of obstacle, that is really dumb. I still remember I did a barefooted wallpass at 497 where my toe got scraped because of a stupid crack on the floor. And yesterday I did something really dumb at home where I ran so close to the door then I really accidentally unexpectedly banged my knee to the side of the doorframe. I dont know why, and I know you guys think that thats stupid. But it happened, and now my toe is sprained.
Its very retarded and I really hate it. It keeps making you have the "if only you didn't do that" feeling. Very irritating. And because of this very very stupid bail you are off training for a couple of days, and those days can be used for some training. But I'm seriously not going to use this as an excuses really, and adapt through. I'm gonna do upperbody training then, and if possible, still do squats. But I still can't get over the fact that I was sooooooooo careless. What a mistake..
And then there was something I learnt about tricking. Whatever you do sometimes, NEVER, ever, bail from a trick. Because it will screw up muscle memory hell alot. It will make you think about what happened the last time you tried it, and how badly you bailed. I went to trick at a huge field, and I got back my backflip, and at the same day, I lost it once again. Shit man, I really hate the stupid thing that makes you suddenly freak out in mid-air. I hate bailing man, I know no one does, just when I got over my fear for a while, I lost it again. Argh.
Hmmm, last friday this idiotic old man looked at me like want to fight like that, when I did a wallpass in a kinda public area. I really don't understand what he wants man. I really don't understand what some public holds against us. We are doing our own thing, we just left some shoeprints on the wall and our handprints everywhere, we are not vandalizing and breaking stuffs, and we are training and not doing "dangerous" stuffs like what they think. We know what we are doing and we ourselves know the risk of the "sport". Damn, why am I talking about all this shit.
I also really don't understand what does newcomers wants with flips. I think most of the traceurs wants to flip, thats ok, I'm not against it. But I'm not sure why newcomers get so excited when the see in Singapore Parkour video with a gym. And they go on shouting "IS THIS GYM OPEN TO PUBLIC!??". And I swear when we include some flips into a video, although how sucky the flips is, the guys (the Singapore Parkour scene, that is) will say 'NICE FLIPS!" You see what I mean? And they go on doing freestyling moves and think its soo cool. It really makes me think alot of kids or newcomers nowadays wanna do parkour to look good, to look cool, for aesthetics and other shit reasons. I'm not against newcomers wanting to learn flips, but rather puzzled and irritated why newcomers are always easily attracted to "flippy stuffs". You get what I mean.
And why do so many people hate training at the gym? I have so many fucking excuses like "Parkour is about handling your own bodyweight, so obviously it would be better to train with any added weights." OR "Weights will stunt your growth." OR "Weight training only makes you slower." OR plenty other probably bullshit like how you get injuries when you're old and how unapplicable or unpractical it is. I would you the easiest of comebacks of "How sure are you of stating such statements?", because nowadays everyone is blurting shits out of their mouths thinking their right and stuffs when they actually haven't got a clue.
Also nowadays guys are training anyhow with no aim in mind, and they don't even train constantly, and they don't train alone. Some even don't train strength at all, only movements, movements and movements. And yet say "while doing movements I'm conditioning myself." which is probably one of the biggest joke of all. They don't even train properly. I really don't know what to say.
Lets cut that off and get training back to topic.
I'm gonna make a video now. I really wanna refilm alot of stuffs because its quite boring now, and I think I need to brush up on certain things. I need to get a list of things I wanna film and work on it. And I'm gonna start editing soon, hope to get everything clean. I'm still not sure what other clips I need but I'm sure needing more. I just need to think of stuffs right now.
It just sucks to know that sometimes, when you are the one doing the movement(s), then you needa get a filmer to film you. But the filmer just doesn't know the way you want your movement to be filmed. Then we will keep refilming and asking about what he did wrong, only to know that the filmer will go "YOU VERY MAHUAN LEH," or you'll just make him feel lousy. Its one of the very probelmatic things filmers faces sometimes.
And I have quite a number of other videos that I thought of and wanna try to experiment with filming and editing too. I'm gonna say roughly that the video that I'm working on right now would be more focused on the filming and editing rather then movements. I think half of the video will be showing editing tricks, timelapse, random stuffs, you get the drift. I just added movements because thats what I like and just to not make viewers bored. I'll just hope that the video turns out well. But then I still got a couple of stuffs left to film. The other videos, so far actually only two other videos that I'm confirm to be working on is just some random ideas I've gotten. First one was an idea I long thought off, basically focusing on the speed of movements. The another one would be focusing on the environment and the movements and peace of it, I just need to find a perfect area for this. Thats all for spoilers.
Training now has been halted sadly because of my fucking toe, but I got everything under scheduled and I'm gonna test for my 1rm squats and test my 100m/40y/vert/boxjump before the month ends.
THATS ALL FOLKS.
First up, about how newcomers think about Parkour.
I can really see plentiful newcomers nowadays, they have potential, as in they have the skills. They are very good, they progress very fast. Some of them do strength training, conditioning, and stuffs. Thats good, but there is one thing about it - Why do they even train? I can see alot of newcomers now, they don't mean what they say too. They go on saying, "I train to get stronger/to improve myself/so that I can escape/for myself." or "Because its fun/I like it." Whatever the reasons is, although might not sound appropriate, as long as they mean what they say, and they know what they are doing. So far, most of the answer to the question when I ask them "Why do you Parkour?" are short answers and very cliche ones. Do you expect me to believe what they say? I think they read it from some where and just blindly copy-and-pasted it to the conversation.
Yeah you get what I mean. The way I see those newcomers train Parkour, is quite negative. Some of them do Parkour just like any other hobby or pastime, or they just do it for the sake of it, unknowingly, or some even worse, for showing off purposes, to be better then others, or whatever other nonsense. Its true, damn true. Just look around you nowadays. No one takes Parkour as a serious discipline now. Although Parkour is meant to be fun and stuffs, but the way they do it now is like just any other sports you see, rollerskating, bboying, skateboarding. So what if you are so good or what, when your mindset sucks.
I can't do anything to it though.
Sometimes when we are doing stuffs, training, we never realize something. About the chances of bailing. It's not about bailing as in the very obvious of like slipping, or missing the rail, or falling backwards if you missed the precision. It is about the very minor aspect of obstacle, that is really dumb. I still remember I did a barefooted wallpass at 497 where my toe got scraped because of a stupid crack on the floor. And yesterday I did something really dumb at home where I ran so close to the door then I really accidentally unexpectedly banged my knee to the side of the doorframe. I dont know why, and I know you guys think that thats stupid. But it happened, and now my toe is sprained.
Its very retarded and I really hate it. It keeps making you have the "if only you didn't do that" feeling. Very irritating. And because of this very very stupid bail you are off training for a couple of days, and those days can be used for some training. But I'm seriously not going to use this as an excuses really, and adapt through. I'm gonna do upperbody training then, and if possible, still do squats. But I still can't get over the fact that I was sooooooooo careless. What a mistake..
And then there was something I learnt about tricking. Whatever you do sometimes, NEVER, ever, bail from a trick. Because it will screw up muscle memory hell alot. It will make you think about what happened the last time you tried it, and how badly you bailed. I went to trick at a huge field, and I got back my backflip, and at the same day, I lost it once again. Shit man, I really hate the stupid thing that makes you suddenly freak out in mid-air. I hate bailing man, I know no one does, just when I got over my fear for a while, I lost it again. Argh.
Hmmm, last friday this idiotic old man looked at me like want to fight like that, when I did a wallpass in a kinda public area. I really don't understand what he wants man. I really don't understand what some public holds against us. We are doing our own thing, we just left some shoeprints on the wall and our handprints everywhere, we are not vandalizing and breaking stuffs, and we are training and not doing "dangerous" stuffs like what they think. We know what we are doing and we ourselves know the risk of the "sport". Damn, why am I talking about all this shit.
I also really don't understand what does newcomers wants with flips. I think most of the traceurs wants to flip, thats ok, I'm not against it. But I'm not sure why newcomers get so excited when the see in Singapore Parkour video with a gym. And they go on shouting "IS THIS GYM OPEN TO PUBLIC!??". And I swear when we include some flips into a video, although how sucky the flips is, the guys (the Singapore Parkour scene, that is) will say 'NICE FLIPS!" You see what I mean? And they go on doing freestyling moves and think its soo cool. It really makes me think alot of kids or newcomers nowadays wanna do parkour to look good, to look cool, for aesthetics and other shit reasons. I'm not against newcomers wanting to learn flips, but rather puzzled and irritated why newcomers are always easily attracted to "flippy stuffs". You get what I mean.
And why do so many people hate training at the gym? I have so many fucking excuses like "Parkour is about handling your own bodyweight, so obviously it would be better to train with any added weights." OR "Weights will stunt your growth." OR "Weight training only makes you slower." OR plenty other probably bullshit like how you get injuries when you're old and how unapplicable or unpractical it is. I would you the easiest of comebacks of "How sure are you of stating such statements?", because nowadays everyone is blurting shits out of their mouths thinking their right and stuffs when they actually haven't got a clue.
Also nowadays guys are training anyhow with no aim in mind, and they don't even train constantly, and they don't train alone. Some even don't train strength at all, only movements, movements and movements. And yet say "while doing movements I'm conditioning myself." which is probably one of the biggest joke of all. They don't even train properly. I really don't know what to say.
Lets cut that off and get training back to topic.
I'm gonna make a video now. I really wanna refilm alot of stuffs because its quite boring now, and I think I need to brush up on certain things. I need to get a list of things I wanna film and work on it. And I'm gonna start editing soon, hope to get everything clean. I'm still not sure what other clips I need but I'm sure needing more. I just need to think of stuffs right now.
It just sucks to know that sometimes, when you are the one doing the movement(s), then you needa get a filmer to film you. But the filmer just doesn't know the way you want your movement to be filmed. Then we will keep refilming and asking about what he did wrong, only to know that the filmer will go "YOU VERY MAHUAN LEH," or you'll just make him feel lousy. Its one of the very probelmatic things filmers faces sometimes.
And I have quite a number of other videos that I thought of and wanna try to experiment with filming and editing too. I'm gonna say roughly that the video that I'm working on right now would be more focused on the filming and editing rather then movements. I think half of the video will be showing editing tricks, timelapse, random stuffs, you get the drift. I just added movements because thats what I like and just to not make viewers bored. I'll just hope that the video turns out well. But then I still got a couple of stuffs left to film. The other videos, so far actually only two other videos that I'm confirm to be working on is just some random ideas I've gotten. First one was an idea I long thought off, basically focusing on the speed of movements. The another one would be focusing on the environment and the movements and peace of it, I just need to find a perfect area for this. Thats all for spoilers.
Training now has been halted sadly because of my fucking toe, but I got everything under scheduled and I'm gonna test for my 1rm squats and test my 100m/40y/vert/boxjump before the month ends.
THATS ALL FOLKS.
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