Why?

So much of exploration, thinking, analysing, experiencing, and experimenting

I asked myself why when I'm free, I get my ass to the outside and train.
I asked myself why I keep drilling my precisions, SDCs, wallpasses, armjumps.
I asked myself why am I doing this everyday, train everyday, practice everyday.
Yet I don't know why.

Its just, like that. Its something I couldn't explain. Past few mind trainings proved worthwhile. I finally know why I practice Parkour. The reason is so true, so simple, yet I took so long to realize it. Whats the reason?

Simple - I love it.
I enjoy every single aspect of it.
Simple as it seems, but there is so much more to it.

Parkour is already been part of my life. I know I'm serious in this, even though I lack the time, I will find some time to train. Even though I don't feel like training, I will at least do some strength training. Even when my parents don't let me go out, I practice rolls and do some stuffs at home. I WILL be doing something, no matter what. The things that matter is the mind. Its all in your heart, your conscience, your mentality.

I know alot of people with this thinking too.
But I just don't like the other people who give excuses.

People who train this discipline for different reasons. For me, I just love it. People who train for the satisfaction, for being better then others, for FUN, because of their friends, as an sport/hobby/pastime, because its fun, to become fit, to help others, to become stronger, to relieve stress, etc. are stupid reasons. I admit I also do it because its fun, it does relieve stress, to become stronger and fitter, to help others, but there is so much more to that. And the rest of the reasons are sad to hear. Hopefully in time to come if they are really serious, they will find their own way, their own reasons.
And its not a temporary discipline where you can have pauses, where you can have breaks, where you can quit halfway.

For me, practicing parkour is like eating, essential to live. Its a routine. Its in my schedule. I see "training" on my timetable everyday. Because its part of life.

Everytime I walk to school, and balance on ledge, I pretend that the grass are untouchable and I step on branches, rocks and drain covers. If I pass by a pull bar and will do muscleups. I don't plan to do them, they just come into my mind, its like automatic, its my way of travelling, its my walkway. I wouldn't stand a day doing what I did years ago, like every typical humanoids, I just can't. Parkour is my life. Of course, life doesn't revolve only around Parkour, videography is something I really like too. My interest in videography and parkour is what my life 80%(+/-) is about.
Now I realize why when we are young we use to play in playgrounds, step on certain coloured floors and avoiding the grey ones, jump over drain covers on walkways. Because its what we are meant to do. Only once we become older and "more mature", we start to think that all of that is "childish" and gotten rid of our common sense, thanks to the others.

Now I understand it doesn't matter if you suck, you progress so slow, you cannot do so many stuffs, you are so inconsistent, you are so lousy, you are lousier then other people, etc., because seriously it doesn't matter. As long as you are better then yourself yesterday (can be in terms of technical, physical, mental or experiences), nothing is wrong. So what if you lose some of your skills? Its so normal, your body is not used to it yet, just train back for it. So what if you suck at something, and you take so long to get something? Progressing slowly means less injuries, more experiences. Why the rush and the hurry, no one is pushing you. We should stop worrying and complaining about everything, just accept everything and treat it positively.

I admit there was time I thought that I suck, I progress so slowly, my friends are better then me, I lose my skills every now and then, I need to catch up someone, I need to be better then others, I need to buck up and train harder, I need to get back my SDC, I need to get something ASAP. There was times of agony, comparison, competition and jealousy. But I start to realize, its the mind that matters. Why the rush, why the jealous, why the thought? I train for myself. No one can steal time. No one else matter. There is no need to feel that way.
Now there is no more such thoughts. Even if there is, I will realize that it is bad and try to get rid of it.

Whats worth mentioning is, you learn something new everyday.

What Danny Ilabaca said at the QNA Rendezvous video really inspired me. "I wake up and jog to the beach because its life, I don't wake up and jog to the beach to become any better, its because its me." (something like that). I should train like that. I don't think I should train to be able to do the harder and bigger things, I should train because I want to, and doing those stuff that I used to be unable to is just the outcome of training. The reason why I wanna nail something that I once couldn't is because its serves as a target, to see how much I progress. And its because I want to, and thats what I live for - pushing my limits and face new challenges (in a smart and safe way of course).

Parkour had taught me to realize that the only competitor is you. Why should I compare myself to others, in terms of everything? No one else matter. Games that involve competition, I play for the game, its just a game, as long as I don't have competitive thinking after the match, I'm ok.

Parkour taught me to treat everything as obstacle. In training we faces obstacles, we overcome obstacles. In life we faces obstacles, we overcome obstacles. We don't run away from it or try to cover up those obstacles, overcoming them is the key. Don't give excuses or use stupid reasons to convince yourself otherwise and decieve yourself, face the obstacle and overcome it (in an efficient way, maybe).

Parkour taught me that there is no limit in life. Everything is possible, its the matter whether you want it or not. Want as in REALLY WANT, not just want. I learnt that there is no such thing is "cannot", only "not yet". Wishing, hoping, and aspiring can only get you this far, the next stage is to work for it. Action talks louder then words. And, you can never be perfect, because you can always improve, and there will always be room for improvement. And there is so many situations and ways to train for, with creativity you cannot reach a limit. For every high mountain, there will always be a higher one. Reaching for perfection is a better word to use.

Parkour had made me a better person overall. I have higher self-esteem and determination. People might laugh at me because I practiced Parkour, laugh at my videos, laugh at me, last time I used to feel bad, but now, I find them funnier then they find me. Because of many reasons, but I don't care. Anyway, so what? No matter what they say, they can't have any effect on me.

Parkour made me a human again. Our body is meant to move, to be used, not to rot, doing stupid stuffs and slack alot. It widened my perception of life. It made me stronger, wiser, more creative and better. Although I still eat alot of junks, my nutrition improved way better then last time. I used to eat KFC 3 times a week, eat nothing but rice and fried chicken, very choosy in food, but now, I know I'm eating healthier. And its not yet too late to change.
If I hadn't know this discipline, I would still be going out with friends, wasting money, doing stupid stuffs, playing online games all day long, live without a reason.

Parkour also taught me the capabilities of my (or the human's) body. What I realize is I can do many things that I once thought I couldn't. I learnt alot about my body and now I try to listen to my body, not the mind. Our mind are full of bad thoughts, only thinking about what we want and what we desire. When our body wants good food because its hungry, the mind wants to eat delicious but unhealthy food. In the end, we feel "good" because we satisfy our mind, but we don't know what we are doing to our bodies, which is something very bad. So now I try my best to listen to my body and try to take away all the bad thoughts in my mind.
Knowing our body and our limits is a very important thing too. We should know what we are capable of and not doing something stupid. Pushing our limits is good, but in a smart, gradual, progressive, incremental manner.

I find that those average human beings nowadays are losing the sense of being a human. Life should be fun, we all want to lead a good and happy life, but obviously its not possible. Now humans find weird ways to find fun, I know that everyone have different ways of attaining fun, but fun in a HUMAN way. I don't really get it, why people like LAN gaming, shopping, going out with friends, socializing, playing computer games, eating KFC, smoking, acting like a gangster, blah blah, FUN. Fine its good to socialize, its good to relieve stress play computer games, but they are torturing their own body, by being all so sedentary and slacky. Oh well, they won't understand.
"What a human should be - smart, cunning, agile, strong, endurant, powerful." Hebertiste.

I learnt to appreciate everything in life, and appreciate much more since I start practicing Parkour. Now I know the reason of living. I find that there is so much more to life and its time I appreciate that I have one. Those challenges, obstacles, hardship, fun, joy, happiness, agony, frustations, anger, sadness, stress, situations, irritation, etc. are something to experience and learn from. It adds taste and colours to life. Accept everything and treat them positively.

I learnt that you WILL NOT be able to have things your way. You cannot control things. Other people and inanimate objects cannot be controlled. And I learnt that in life there are fullll of obstacles. Small ones, big ones, they keep coming. This is part and parcel of life, get used to it and live through it. Everyone is different, they have different thinking. Another thing I learnt is the thing that you REALLY WANT will come to you, given that you give it time, patience, hardwork and effort, and EVENTUALLY you will get it.
I remember Castle's wall was once crazily high, and it was once unclimbable. Lets see what will happen to Dino's wall.

We walk around the city's busiest street and we see everyone as an average human being, but each and everyone of them are very unique and each and everyone of them are more then what we all think. An ordinary person is extraordinary person. It's more than meets the eye. Same for me. I wonder what a stranger would think about me, and what will his reaction be once I tell him more about me.

Its the love and freedom of movement.
When I do a precision jump, what do I aim? Others will say, drilling it, repeating it, to get better in it, to get used to it, to gain muscle memory, improve on it, train for control, to get stronger, to get the feel of it. I used to say the same, but now, I think the real aim is, to do a precision jump. Nothing else. I see a wall, my aim = get over the wall, why? Because I want to and I like it. Its simple, but again, it so much more then it looks.

Because of all of this, I'm confident that Parkour with be "permanent and attached" to my life, and I will train till old age. Its lifelong and everyday. With passion and determination, patience and effort, the sky's the limit.
I'm not practicing Parkour, what I'm doing is living life.
I'm not a traceur, I'm CP.

And there's still a long long long way to go. What's ahead is yet to be known.

P.S- Don't expect to read a post similar to this for a long time.

So many things, so little time!

Sucks.
Theres alot of things I want to improve on, but I just don't know how to balance out, and with addition of school, homeworks, and maybe jobs, it totally makes it harder!

I know I should prioritize studying in front of everything else at the moment, as I know that I'm totally weak in my studies, and should really start practicing my maths and go get tuition or what, because it seems like if I go on like that, I'm gonna flunk my studies and O level. My chinese totally sucks, I swear to god I couldn't cope. Some more its just the beginning of the year, so many probelms already, gosh it gonna suck. Focus more in class!

And yes, I'm going start finding a job soon. I need money, for the future, and I'm saving for overseas trip and a camcorder. And of course for the things that I want in the future. They will be handy. Macdonalds most probably, and working on weekends and fridays, and holidays. I need money!

For the future, what I plan is to go to a Poly, most probably Singapore Poly, take up Media and Arts and Rockclimbing. Learn more about the videography/camerawork/video editing/film-making. Strengthen my upperbody and learn a new art/way of movements. Then later I will go NS hopefully get into police, then when I get out of there, I will start to have some freedom, and apply to become a cameraman. Have a good, simple life, while training, having fun, and a family of course. Wow, I planned everything already, hopefully I can work up to it, because I have like so many more years, maybe its still too early to say.

Ok next, training. I think I really should start more strength training for my legs, because Parkour at its very nature its already quite stressful and impactful to our joints, yet my legs aren't strong enough to safely absorb those impact, and also I'm still young and growing, if this continues, my knees and ankles are gonna suffer in old age. So more emphasis on legs now, more squatting, more deadlifting, get strong overall in my legs, hopefully by the end of this year I will get my 2x bodyweight squat. I have a long time don't I? After that I will start plyometrics. (What I said in the last post is shit, don't listen to it, I'm now aware of the dangers.)

For upperbody, I'm only gonna do more muscleups, get them 100% and start training for reps, plus weighted pullups. Then start on handbalancing for my pushing strength. I can now do quite good headstands, handstand pushups against a wall, tuck planche (with so much of forward lean and super bent arms, so not really counted), and l-sit. I think I should be working on forearm-stand, but I'm not sure how long I will take to finally get my handstand. I'm also working on my one armed pushup on my left. Muscle imbalances sucks!

Movements, I will focus alot on wallpasses, I'm not sure why, maybe because I like them. I know that they can be impactful, when you miss, the landing you take are impactful as you can't really land properly since you are very near the wall. I got a new shoe, Nike Dart V, time to season it. Hopefully it doesn't take long to get good in its grip. I will also drill loads of small KNEE-height drops, small (50% to 70%) precisions (focus on getting both toe in-line, a 'probelm' that I currently have), balance, climbups. I must say my balance is getting better and I'm quite happy, but I still need alot of work to do! For rolls, I will drill them at home, they are improving too, but I'm taking things slowly.

So many things to focus on, what to prioritize?
I need to really schedule things properly. Ok. STUDIES are done in school, homeworks must be done, so pay attention in class. Next, jobs. On the before I work, hopefully I train that day, so I will need to rest, so instead of slacking in front of the computer, I work. Holidays will be an issue. If there is time before I work, I will train as much as possible, then on off days and I will strength train. Hopefully this will work. I just need to balance everything up. Then, my primary concern while training is to do alot of strength training for my legs. For days when I can train but I need to rest my legs, I will be doing strength training for my upperbody, that is, muscleup practice and weighted pullups. At home do more rolls and handbalancing as much as you can. Movements training at days when I'm free. At least one trip to the gym per week, but aiming for two. One movements day, one upperbody day. Two days rests which means jobs, another day.. I guess for movements. This is just what I hope, but not strictly followed. But in life everything can't go as planned, If I can't stick to it, I will just do what I can do.

Thats all for today.
I might edit this post again.

Dare to fly.

Yesterday I had one of my few best training ever.
Nearly 14 hours of training, slacking, having fun, improving, filming, gaining knowledge, exploration and realization. It was all well worth for the scolding that I recieved when I reached home at 1am.

Firstly, a disappointment that many people couldn't come thus the failure to make the planned "Tampines Joy" video, but we filmed quite alot for Murdok's project. Went to Shino and Dino to train and film, slack and have fun.
And theres something I've achieved yesterday, my SDC to precision and Shino's Ramp. The feeling was awesome, but it lasted a while, still I'm happy that I nailed it, kinda overshot it. I'm aiming to balance upon landing, something I should work on next time. It needs alot of effort to do that but now I'm convinced that I'm able to do the SDC to precision over there.

Whats so cool about that is now I learnt something. Something that looks impossible to you, something very scary and dangerous, something which seems very difficult, is actually possible. You'll never know until you've tried. Yes, its dangerous and I can injure myself if I bail, but doesn't mean that you couldn't afford to bail it, you shouldn't do it. There are always room for improvement, always room for pushing your limits, always room for new challenges. If you always have this fear of bailing, overcome it, at your own pace. Pushing your limits too far and too fast is not good, but pushing your limits in a comfortable and safe pace is always good. I remember the first time I heard of this SDC to Precision done by the pioneers before, I thought that these are really impossible, but now, I've done them.

So after Shino's ramp, we went to Sengkang, to film and train more. Nothing much though, just found out stuffs that I would be filming for my sampler. Then we went to compasspoint and slack and eat, then to Library for the interview, and I bought my new bag for Parkour, and I will be training while carrying it. I bought the pull-up bar too, but I have troubles drilling it into the door. Thanks to my lame father.
Just don't know why nowadays parents or more specifically my father thinks that he is always correct, but he doesn't know what others are doing. I did this DIY weighted backpack and he is against the idea. Yeah yeah its government property and I'm stealing it but who cares no one saw, so keep quiet. And there isnt any other better bag, and he is saying that I'm wasting a good bag for that, stupid old fashioned asshole. Then he thinks that the pullup bar idea is stupid, waste my money buying that, say want to exercise go downstairs, Arghh, I just can't stand him (or this type of people). So retarded.

Then I went to city, and everything is wet, and slippery, and it rained. But there is this super grippy wall that if its raining and wet, its still grippy like normal walls when its not wet, so we trained in the rain for awhile, oh and before that, we went to an indoor spot and trained armjump over a gap of water. But we pulled up our long pants and took of our shoes and socks. So its not really a test of jumping over the water. Because even if we touched the water, it wouldn't be that bad. This lead me to think, you cannot test the stability, the grip, the support and the such of something, would you risk to try? Like in Blane's new video, where him and Thomas did an armjump and precision respectively onto a tree over a river. Cool stuffs, inspiring too. And knowing that if you bailed, failed, missed or whatever, you be wet.

Just more exploration and slacking around before heading back to Sengkang and meet Ashton to go to the new "legendary" hotspot at Buangkok. It was a whole new experience, firstly it was scary to infiltrate construction areas, and its at night, and then the places are mostly high elements. So the third thing I've learnt today, and the most interesting one is: Things you can do in ground level is totally different thing at heights. One difference is safety first. Because everything you do in high elements is, a misstep, a accidental mistake, a stupid bail will lead to death. There is no attempt, no trying, no chances, once you are in the air, nothing could be change, its either you land, or you die. This is where you skills really REALLY really is put into good use.
You might think that, why risk yourself in such dangerous situations? Why do you ever want to hang yourself on an edge of an 5-storey building? For me, yes its unnecessary risk, because normal human beings won't do such things, and even doing Parkour is unnecessary risk because its very normal to get (minor) injuries when you do them, more then a normal guy will. BUT, firstly it tests your confidence, it trains your mind in such situations, to overcome your fear, etc. Secondly, it put your skills into good use, because whatever you can do on ground level, doesn't mean you can do it at heights. Thirdly, you are trusting your body to save yourself from death, because you are hanging on a bar above a seemingly bottomless pit. Fourth, it prepares you when you need to escape at somewhere high. And the feeling of achieving it is way higher then normal stuffs you do.
Its mostly more of mind training and overcoming fear, but of course never do this often because there is no room for any mistakes.

Sadly, the rooftop is locked, hopefully next time we will find a way up there. I didn't dare to climb up to the second storey of the building, because that the scaffolding its very unstable and its very scary, I'm not prepared yet. Now I realize the importance to be able to move at heights and I should be back to do more high elements at castle again, but that is totally different from the one at Buangkok. I need to start training my mind more often, doing stuffs like this, focusing, viualizing, clearing your mind, be aware.

Its a really good experience.

Now back to my normal weekly training log.
Just now because I came back from buying stuffs for my mother, I trained muscleups. And I did a lame lache, and a bailed, fell and injured my tailbone. Lucky its nothing bad, but I don't know what I was thinking and doing. First the lache had a bad jerk, secondly and slipped off and flew.. and landed tailbone-first. How stupid, back to my own ways. I think I'm really stupid. Sigh, why am I so stubborn. I really can't stop repeating and regretting stuffs. Don't know when will I stop.

And now I want to make a list of goals to achieve and to work for. I want to conquer more of Dino and Shino, the whole of Tampines, and then to other parts of Singapore, and then conquer the whole of Singapore. I will take years, but I will be patient. Once I've achieved Dino's wall, it will be my best achievement, I guess, and I need work more on my rolls, and balance, and precisions. I've never been progressing in precisions. I always wanted to get the running armjump at castle. Need to start working on that. My muscle up need alot of work, I have successfully been able to do muscleups, but I need to keep working on it, till I'm satisfied.

I will start training more and more alone, to start training my mind and abilities. And start training more in strength, more weighted pullups. Train and practice on rolls, balance, laches, muscleups, precisions, control.

Sorry if you read stuffs repeating over and over again, like wanting to get something and only talking but not doing. Oh wait, you shouldn't be reading this anyway, its for me to rant and let it all out.

Watch out for my sampler.

UPDATE:
Decided to edit my post, more stuffs to be said, don't want to make a new post.

Suddenly today I realize that I'm more and more competitive. I suddenly want to be better then others, want to be able to do what others can, want to match up to others, but I really remember whats the spirit of parkour supposed to be. Anti-competition, anti-commercialism, anti-comparison. No rushing, no wanting to be better then others. No more stupid stuffs. Progress at a comfortable rate.

And another thing. Todays training is full of impact and a few bails. Sprained ankle (healed), a cut on my palm, a few uncontrolled laches, few cuts on my finger, big drops. Hais, seriously back to my old ways. I better stop doing things like that. More mind training.

And my muscleups and endurance are getting better.

Bye.

2008.

Its the start of the new year.

Schools reopens and homeworks start coming. Time is getting limited, NCC is back, schoolmates and friends are back, less training and computer time, less fun, more lame school stuffs, more worry, more stress. How retarded. And yeah I really want to work real soon, around March holidays. Need money for future overseas travel trips and eventually a camcorder, and other miscellaneous stuffs, like stuffs where I feel the need to need them.

Sucks, going back to school see new people then again there is NCC. Fuck sia, I really want to quit, get it? I don't care whether I waste my 2 years on it, but really man, I don't want to waste my time. CCA Points? Nah, I wanna go to Poly so no use, and what portfolio thing? Don't want sia, rather waste my time on doing something more productive. I swear I'm quitting, whatever man, I already wasted 2 years and I'm not wanting to make it 3.

Then the new faces I'm gonna see next year, good or bad? I swear I'm gonna keep a low profile next year, just have a few hopefully GOOD friends, and I don't care what other people think. "Sticks and stones might break my bones but words will never kill me." Loner? Nerd? Retard? Parkour boy? Lame? Weakshit? Hahaha, waste my time doing Parkour, you guys? Waste your time on those computer games. I rather waste my time on doing something more productive then wasting my time having a low self esteem. At least I'm not as weak as them. But I'm not trying to show off or what.

But I hope that I could have a close friend that could be interested and serious in Parkour. No, not posers like I had last year, and not those typical Singapore parkourtards. Hopefully I could train him and slowly he will be a good traceur. But now, Singapore society sucks, no one cares, no one have discipline and etc., and Singapore is super lame. So, I highly doubt I could have such a person.

Ahhh, so less time for training? Undoubtedly true, but definitely still time for training. Less technical, more physical. Less movements training, more strength training. I'm in my new house now, so I'm going to buy this pullup bar and a DIY weighted "vest" and train at home. I figured that an explosive pullup benefits alot, and alot. Muscleups and climbups would be easier, laches will be better and controlled, dynos will be better, so practical in Parkour. My ultimate goal is to do a muscleup purely from strength, which would take quite a long time, because I just got my muscleup back. Yay. I took sooo long, and it pays off. I would definitely train for OAC next time, but that would be somewhere in the future.

Saturdays will be my movements training day. Then I will do more strength training. I will go to gym once a week for legs. I need to learn proper form for full squats and of course deadlifts. Maybe learning good mornings. Just for this moment, I think I will be neglecting pushing strength because I want to focus alot more in my pulling. Of course I will be doing some of them once in a while, but not much anyway. I will get back to them after I achieved my ultimate goal, and then start practicing for handstands and presses, and other handbalancing stuffs.

Tricks, flips, bar tricks, pole tricks, free running moves, etc. This year, after I think that I gained my base strength and skills for Parkour, I will start focus on some basic tricking and art of movement. Aerial, backflip, frontflip, btwist, palm spin, wall spin, wallflip, etc. Those basics, then I would happy.

My rolls are not quite there yet, I admit I haven't been drilling them much. I can train rolls at home and anywhere else, at whenever I want. So I better start practising them. Balance, haven't really improved much, its still at the same level, or maybe worst then usual. Oh well, practice.

Around February I would start filming stuffs for my sampler. It will be my video to see my progression after 1 year of training. I hope the video will be nice, movements and editing wise. I'm not training to be good to show what I can do in this video, not to show off, not to gain fame, and whatever bullshit. It is a video to note progression, recieve feedbacks, comment and criticisms for improvements or what am I doing wrong, test my video editing skills, and its fun to make a video.

Thats pretty much it. Ok recent trainings, become worse. I'm back to my old ways again, not focusing, bailing, pushing my limits too far too soon. Stupid shit. So I better stop doing those stupid things again. Lol, look, I'm repeating what I said so many times again. Told you, its like that, it just repeats again and again, how gay. Fuck, who cares. Just stop doing stupid things. Hope this year would be a better year, in terms of Parkour, life, studies, friends, etc. Actually a better year overall.

Hopefully school will be good. I really wish to quit NCC. Please help me. Who cares about the teacher, I seriously want to quit NCC. It sucks. Seriously. The time I spent during NCC could be used for something so much more productive. Sitting there, waiting for time to pass, getting made fun by those lame NCC people, PT so boring, drills even worse, get scolded for no reason, or stupid reasons, getting laughed at, waste time preparing uniform, waste time doing stupid stuffs. What do I get? CCA points? Portfolio remark? No thanks.

Hopefully I can have better friends, but I wanna keep a low profile. So teachers and class/schoolmates won't talk/bother me much. No need to go out with them every saturday to watch movies, play LAN. I agree, once in a while can, but not everytime. I know socializing and having friends are important but not too many, not too often. Oh well, lets see..

Underground traceur? Training with friends and companions might be fun, but its harder to focus, harder to clear your mind, harder to be serious in your training. Unless your friends and yourself are serious, then it might be different. So I think I will be spending more time training alone, training my mind and body, to the correct things, like focus before jumping, do not push your limits, learn to know your limits, do less stupid things, stay within the 70% limit, more repetitions, bail less, etc. And be less known. Hehehe..

Buying a new shoe soon. Nike Dart V. For Chinese New Year. I need a PK bag, and somemore new shirts and pants. Haha, CNY! Coming in Feb. Anyway, I think I should start paying attention in class. I don't want to regret again. And paying attention = training focus too! Hahaha.

Happy New Year.
Bye.