Update!
More training with Aussies.
I'll go through the trainings first.
Tampines Jam on Tuesday 21st.
A good number came up, did filmed some epic stuffs, and as usual, had fun. But similar to what happened 2 days before, bailed when I'm just ten minutes into the session, which is a piece of bullshit. Again, I thought. Why? Muscle memory is good that it makes your body subconsciously know what to do when you make it do. But, it makes you complacent, somehow. Ah this is so easy, just do it without preparation at all. This is good at some point, but this leads to no focus, and eventually, bails. No matter how good you are and for whatever you are doing, regardless of difficulty or state, you have to be focussed. Crazy thing was, Ish bailed almost exactly the same as me, only that my chest suffered most of the impact while Ish scrapped his arms open. Fucking rail.
It pretty much sucks to get that two days in a row, when you barely started training, knowing that you'll be stucked resting and filming, envy how the others move while you can only look. It was just lucky that my knee healed fast and soon I was back moving with the others. It makes you much more scared as you feel that you can't afford to bail again, that kind of thing.
Not sure if I had nailed anything new, considering my condition, but just found out new stuffs to do, like strides. I got a speed2speed at treegarden, and also I have some goals in mind, Kash is getting ridiculously easy. And whats worth mentioning is the progress of the newer guys like Richie and Tutu. Hope to make more jams with them, to further strengthen the bond within traceurs.
Buangkok Jam on Wednesday 22nd.
Was sick, yet again. Ish had a hangover. Regained confidence. Didn't bail - thats a plus. Nailed high element precision - similar to the one in Simei Carpark which I've built up alot of confidence over such kind of gaps. Felt that I could just do it but was just an internal conflict on whether am I pushing myself too much of what. In the end, I went for it, more of a mental challenge over a physical one, as when it comes to high elements, its all about knowing your limits, which should be something that is really clear to you. I'm pretty sure some think that its too big for me, for the main reason that the Aussies took awhile to get that, which created hype, thinking that its only for the 'pro-er' guys. First impressions.
Trained more runs this sessions, was really fun. Precisions was a test now after bailing the rail precision at Bishan. To me I thought, fuck I'm never gonna do that I again, but inside me, I know I can do it, the distance is definitely easy, but its the rail that makes it so hard (although I have done similar precisions many a times), and the height which makes it so scary, and the bail thats makes me unconfident. Hey but, what do you do when you fall? Traceurs get back up. I'll get that rail precision. I'm not gonna bail again. I bet many disapproving thoughts are out there, but I'll get it, matter of time.
Gotten sick clips too from this session. One downside - I lost my sideflip, which was seemingly y best flips of all three. It kinda sucks, I felt that the feeling is totally gone, when the day before I did one OK OK one out of nothing, but then, the next day, its gone. Its totally fucked, I really don't know why. It's like the weirdest thing that has happened. I need to find it back. And I'll need to get back to flips trainings. Impacts again.. and I thought my flips were good and improved. Still needs much work till its relatively light impact. My main goal.
After that final training session with the Aussies, I felt that I've gained training experience overall, from seeing how they train, what they had done, the sickest footage captured from my HV30, and so much fun. Might have 5 bails in 2 trainings sessions, of which, 2 was mine, but we can't always predict such misfortune, all we can do is to learn from it, something that I'm struggling to do. Never learn from my mistakes, poor self-control. They'll be coming back too, much sickness. Welcome anytime.
Today, I went to gym to finish my deloading, was which delayed for like 5 days. Ahhh I really need to get back to strength training. As exams are coming, so I have to adapt back to strength training conditions and go for the routine. I need to start studying, stop wasting time, as usual. I guessed I've said that for my past 10 blog post, including the one in my personal blog, all still just words no action. Hais.
I think I need from the heavy trainings now, sunny weather causes faster fatigue and power drainage, so I'll need to test my self control at home by training handstands, eat properly, not use the computer too much, spend time properly, do homework, take care of my health, train properly and productively, learn from my mistakes, just do 45 minutes of flips drilling or something. Won't be training so much till exams end. And I'm probably gonna work on my documentary.
Like I said.. lotsa things to be said, but it matters nothing unless you put it into real use - action speaks louder then words. Well done is better then well said. Can't be so affected by my thoughts and emotions, I have to be optimistic and learn to overcome challenges mindfully.
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Its late at night now so I'm gonna chiong this post for a bit.
Yesterday was a day that was somewhat ambivalent - both good and bad. The vibe was there, it was awesome seeing, filming and being with the Aussies and all the others. Lots of footages captured, although I felt some could be in a better angle but better then nothing.
But the bad thing was, triple bails.
Let me talk about mine first.
I thought of this rail precision that is really thin, and far, and scary, but challenging, yet possible for my standards, so I gave it a try, knowing that I could make the distance, the only hard part is to be able to land properly. Hardly knowing the consequences if I would to miss, my mind just focussed on the jumping part, thinking its all mental. Focus was there but was not enough. Exhaled and up I go in the air, and in a split second saw me fumbling, hesitated and freakout at the last millisecond where it is all crucial. I suddenly felt it would be better out falling back into a cat, but my leg slipped faster then I could react to it, landing with a huge crush on the sides of my abdominals and shins knock onto the rails. Was out of breath and in pain for awhile, but its all good now.
I thought, yet again, another bail, due to carelessness and poor focus. Damn, the aussies haven't arrived and I already bailed. That was fucked, I can't do anything for today anymore, and its only 10minutes in, for what I consider the main event of the year. Felt total crap but no matter how much I wanted to 'turn back time, I know its impossible. But was I lucky enough to not suffer any harder, more severe injuries? What was truly the cause of my bail. Is it because I'm reckless and doing the stuffs that is out of my limits? There was more to come.
Fred bail, what I thought was again due to recklessness. Luckily the bail wasn't too much a biggie. I think that day, indeed, was due to too much pushing. The German traceur was right. We have potential as a group but we aren't use it properly. We are all pushing ourselves, too harsh. There shouldn't be any rush to get it. Maybe to Anan, where he wouldn't be back to Singapore to nail that again, so he would like to push himselves abit, but we all should know our limits to a certain point. Not only limits, but understand the conseqeunces of a move, and give it due focus.
Anan bail was the worst. Tictac to Pre to Slip to Shin gash. To the bone. Kinda sucks to see it, especially from such a legend. What timing as well, in Singpaore, on the 'main event of the year'. The surgical fees were a bomb - 7.9k. I was like wtf, totally not worth it to bail and cost 8000 bucks. See how much a careless mistake could cost one. No matter how small the mistake is.
Abit ironical to me, the way I type words in my blog in all my previous posts (Conclusions upon Reflections), it all seems that I know alot, alot about training and me wanting to train towards the 'proper' direction. But it is still happening - bails, impacts, still reckless, pushing too much, etc. In the end, even though I have the knowledge, but not applying it into real life, does not serve any purpose. Knowledge applied is better then knowledge gained.
It all goes back to the source of main problems - Poor self-control. What is it that I want from all this? What does all this experiences taught me so far? Am I still gonna back down to my reckless self no matter how many signs telling me that I'm just going to fast? It is abit hard for me to change, but trust me, I want to.
Like I said many a times, every traceurs have different methologies, ideologies, approach towards Parkour and training. Lets admit it, we all prefer to be able to do the bigger stuffs, the faster stuffs, the sicker stuffs. Its all shown in the videos, bigger and bigger stuffs that we are all aiming for. But is that truly Parkour? I think I should not assume too much. We just need ample practice and good proper solid foundations before we proceed into a bigger move. There's no rush at the end of the day. No rush. Never set any time limit to your goals. Go, with the flow.
Sometimes we think too much of the fun aspect of Parkour and neglect about the possibility of bailing. We need to give focus in every move we do no matter how easy it is. Sometimes we place to much emphasis on big stuffs but don't see more to it. Whats the point of doing the big stuffs but not being able to apply it in runs and stuffs. Thats my aim, instead of focusing on big stuffs and single movements all the time, apply it to runs. But I will take my time. Safety is the main concern, long term health is the long term concern. Let's not waste anymore time. And of course, the landing in every move. Just drill on the stuffs lower then my maximum alot, get it controlled, get it strong, get it into my system, and of course built my overall focus level, air sense and confidence. PhilyDee does alot of big stuffs but with balanced fear control, control in landings (silent landings), concentration, not too big of pushing, with amazing ability to include in runs, yet super strong and fast, near flawless.
There's still another jam tomorrow which would be the final jam with the Aussies, but I seriously hope that I could just learn more from them, not just technique but the general outlook of Parkour. My life have been revolving much about this, and I do what to learn more about it, and applying it. For my whole life.
And of course I'm hoping to get nice clips. So I hope nothing goes bad tomorrow (rain, bails, more cocks). So far I have very little motivation to sort out clips in my computer, the music and all the other files. Very bored of doing such. Always playing the computer and wasting my time, still having this stupid habit. Not doing homeworks. Exams in two weeks, what now.
Have been busy jamming, two days for the filming for vasantham, and hanging out with the guys. Never get to go to gym recently. Long days, long hours, hardly any rest. So tired, but schoolwork gets in the way. Exams, around the corner, abit stress. The membership that I paid for isn't fully utilised. I need to get back into gym this Wednesday, probably starting my new routine when my exams starts, where I will be stopping movements, or only doing very light trainings. Its a 6 week routine. Things should be going fine. My injuries should be recovering by tomorrow, I wanna take it slow though. Hopefully, nothing cocks up.
Lets see what I have in store for tomorrow.
