Recent training, as for the whole of this week, is kinda bad.
I'll really type my shit down fast.
Monday is crap, as I've said in the previous post. Alot of impactful stuffs, training for way too long, sprained my ankle after one huge running jump precision, and worsened after a bail off a catleap. Gotten my flips back though... but still alot of improvements are to be made.
Tuesday I rest due to my crappy ankle, went to gym. Forms suddenly feel really crap out of the sudden, will explain more later.
Wednesday rest, did shits at home..
Thursday went to gym did a few stuffs.. ok was not that bad, then night time when to Simei and train, for like damn long.. which is totally not going the way I planned. Wallpasses seems to be OK and really shitty at times... in other words fucking inconsistent, but yeah I've seen improvements. Remember the stupid wall which I call "wall of doom", the wall where I did nearly 50 attempts just to get a wallpass on film, which failed and in turn screwed my knee really badly. Don't know, I'm not totally good with it yet, but last week I managed to nailed the wall in my first attempt. Today I nailed it 6 times in i think 13 attempts... Which is not bad considering the past.. but I didn't really want to continue once I fail, bad memories. I did alot of movements and really stresses my knees, which is the bad of doing too mcuh on one day.
Didn't stop there though. Friday went to Wes' jam, did some stuffs here and there, wasn't planning to train much but then again, I succumbed to temptation. Actually it was ok until I went to Clarke Quay, and think I overdid myself.. And I had another look at the SDC2Pre, NOT EASY AT ALL, Just tells me how crazy the standards are in UK, the ramp at Imax, sdc2p like NOTHING! Fuck, I was another video, go to the youtube account 'littlemrenergy' and watch his latest video 'sheffield', INSANE OWNAGE to the standard here in Singapore. OK went abit off topic. I re-tried the SDC2cat, isn't easy too, I got it usually by luck. So much more to improve on...
And then yesterday, went to gym, my form on squats felt really bad, smae for my bench press all of the sudden.. it feels damn weird sia. I'm not talking about fatigue, just form without weights feels crap. DAMN IT LAH.... I really need to work on it. I don't know why I feel insecure with my forms alot of times.. and need someone reliable to spot it. Its sooooooo weird. fuck lah. irritating feeling. I wasn't planning to do any movements training that day, but decided not to slack at home, but meet up the other guys to slack or maybe do light movements. As usual, succumbed to temptation, ended up training so many stuffs.. to a point where there is too much impacts going into the knees, ankle, lowerback. DIE.
This week is crap, today I'm staying at home. I'm gonna train handstands, somethign that I haven't properly focused for a long time. DAMN! and I said I'm gonna get them by this year. Fuck, I'm not working towards my goals. Seriously man, actually, don't even talk about goals, but about being strict towards my training (AND GOALS). I said 1hr 30minutes the max for movements training. But didn't stick to it. That is just one thing bad about me.. I never stick to my plans.. I mean sometimes I do, but occasionally things will cock up. I really hope my knees, ankles, lowerback, actually essentially my whole body is still fine when I hit 40. Thats why I need to make sure my squats form and the others are spot on, and also my movements training isnt too stressful for my joints. Those are some stuffs that I must seriously work on... since last time sia.. damn.
I got to admit, my knees are totally 100% fine yet, all the way back to early July. Ankle sprain also isn't totally healed. At times after training, I feel some lowerback strain. Wrist feels pains time and again, but they aren't really serious. The bruise on my hip (that I've gotten from Monday) still feels pain. All this stuffs isn't like all the time, the knee being usually after a impactful day of training, ankle from the bail, lowerback after heavy or too squatting and/or deadlifting, wrist after long day of handbalancing. Thats why its never good to train for too long.
Also find that I see improvement when I'm able to do a bigger, better movement. I think even if I'm strong to be able to handle impact, if I keep pushing my limits, keep doing bigger and bigger jumps, in the end I'm still handling same amount of impact, which really isn't of any point. Improvement doesn't always mean being able to nail a bigger jump or what, but being able to control a movement properly, feeling that a movement that you once struggled to do felt easier, being faster, smoother in your movement, or just feeling lighter in your movement. Sure it is ok to try some big movement, I mean it is a way to test your improvement - to be able to nail one 'big' stuff that you couldn't in the past. But you can't keep on pushing.. not only is that risky, but your joints wouldn't be happy too. Sometimes when you improve, your mind definitely will feel happy, but then your body won't feel good, which is just.. a bad trade in my opinion. I should really start changing my training mindset.
What else to say about this week? My diet, is crap. Eating too much fast food, like twice for this week alone. I guess I should really cut out the bad fats and eat properly, especially protein. EGGS ROCKS. TUNA TOO, CHICKEN STILL THE BEST.
Ok. Let me talk about some stuffs first.
Flips are getting there.. but I think I need more practice in my backflip.. on getting more height and proper tucking and being able to do them on concrete. Frontflip still the same probelm.. can't find the correct timing to untuck to land it straight and well without overrotating or underrotating. Aerial still needs work on flat. I wanna try the lache gainer and sideflip soon.. but one step at a time.
Pahcour-wise. Wallpasses found improvements. SDC is good, but not good enough for the one at Clarke Quay, but no hurry for that. Need to work on my fluidity rather then on bigger precision jumps or catleap or whatever. Muscleups seems alot better and natural now, being able to do false grip muscleup on shelter. Cat2cats are way better. Dash 2 precisions are getting further. Precisions seems better, but I never work on them recently. Have some ideas in castle, gonna nail some stuffs no one ever thought of doing... one day (not anytime soon). Still wants improvement in vertical jump. Guess thats all.
Random stuffs-wise, bar tricks are getting a little better, but still not the state I want them to be. Need to nail more new tricks.. get comfortable with the old ones, and get good with them. Handstands are getting better.. although I haven't train them much. Control is almost there, but still, its very inconsistent. I wonder when will I be able to say that I can do a handstand. Still, I will work hard for it. Rail-work, I'm getting ok with the KASH-turnvault thing, but still wanna get it till I can sit on the bar 98% of the time. Backwards SDC... I NEED HIPS FLEXIBILITY DAMN. I want to be able to tuck my legs through my hands in a l-sit to handstand. Palmspins are getting there, but haven't tried it on a rail, too scared to do so. FUCK. Still training for dash to turnvault like what Victor Lopez did. 360 precisions... still super uncontrolled. Reverse vaults for distance.. very hard.
Also I wanna say that, I see Pahcore way differently then most of you guys. I've been influenced by some guys in Parkour.net in the past, and my thinking differs quite alot of other guys. I tell myself I don't do pahcore because I clearly don't. I don't try to make my movement practical so I can apply them in real life, because I don't train for that (but I'm pretty sure if there are situation where I need to put my skills to test, I can). Sometimes efficiency can be fun (rage froobling wootwoot), but I don't want to be just efficient and efficient only.
And I'm not the guy who likes doing quadrupedalling, multiple precision jumps, doing conditioning the way Yamakasi does it (no disrespect to them), because I'm kinda the pro-weight training guy as I'm very convinced that weights are the better way to train for strength. So many myths and other craps goes about though, something that I feel kinda sad for. Actually I don't really mind as its cool doing training differently from others. SQUATS ARE THE BEST EXERCISE EVER!
I really should start taking videos right now. Missed out a couple of good scenery shots.. only to know that I didn't bring my camera along.. hope I have another chance to catch them again. Whats more, its already December tomorrow. Thats fucking fast. Holidays are soon to be over... Have to cherish time right now and train hard. Oh and Ashton, don't forget about your video. Gonna start collecting clips in my travels right now.
Tomorrow I'm going to gym and start working on my form.
Tuesday I'm going Chong Pang probably to train for the SDC2P at Clarke Quay. And check out spots at Sembawang.
Wednesday I think I'm going to Taman Jurong, film stuffs there, calling guys to come along as well.. somewhat like a mini jam for all of us.
Thursday will be my final deloading day, after that I'm free to do my own training in the gym.
Friday I'll probably go castle and work on stuffs again.. especially flips I guess.
Saturday, again at Tampines, jam over there
Sunday.... I don't know.
Plans for the next week - keep training around 1hr 30minutes. And film!
Now that it is December, I hope that my training will improve.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Things for now.
Sorry I had to change the blog link again, and keep it private. I don't want kids to read my posts and then use it as a source of references (in other words, copying). Anyway I guess I'll just private this and invite those people who I want to read.. even better.
Don't you find it scary if guys going to extremes and having all the songs you use in your videos as ringtones or in a playlist in your psp? And guys even memorising your videos, whenever you go to a spot you will say "So and so, did this and that" for everything. The consequences of being high profile. Don't know why man, this is so sad. Everything can be easily ignored, thats ok (easier said then done though), but sometimes things gets too irritating. Also, if you were to ignore others, you will feel guilty somehow, like imagine if you ask the other experienced traceurs for tips and yet they don't reply you and all, or just imagine if you weren't accepted by the people around you right now. Damn..
Anyway, enough of those craps, lets see...
On monday, was a good and bad day.. firstly I bailed alot of times, including have a bruised hip and sprained ankle now. Fell of a tictac crane, landing on my hip sliding down stairs.. did a running precision only to sprained my ankle upon landing, chipped my knee against a sdc (high obstacle), falling backwards off a catleap (just attempting to do a high catleap), missed the edge, landed carelessly with my ankle twisted, bailed a reverse to precision only to scratch my arm, received quite alot of impacts, etc. All those although is quite minor, its still frustrating to have, and the sprained ankle is still here, and one of the reason why I didn't went out to train today (another being rain), but still gonna practice some stuffs later when things are dryer.
Only thing really good was that I nailed the crane and also got back my flips at castle.
Strength training went on even with the sprained ankle. I just can't take impacts, but still can walk and squat normally. I realize something.. my squats are good at times, and bad at times (as in form). I'm not sure whether its 'perfect' form, but usually it feels weird, and when it feels weird, it is wrong. Usually it is because of tight muscles and wrong foot positioning. Have to get used to it soon. And I've been practicing forms of new lifts, frontsquats and goodmornings, trying to get powercleans, etc. Want to 'perfect' benchpress and deadlifts.
Gotta really work on handstands at home right now, and practice on my 360s. Theres alot of things that needs brushing up and work on right now. Currently my sdcs are like way much better then my other movements so I really shouldn't put too much emphasis on them. Running precisions or jumps in general will be better by strength training alone, oh and just abit of plyometrics for power which I will be doing. I'm gonna drill my flips, especially backflips and fronts, till its second nature (or at least as near to 2nd nature as possible). I could already those and wallspins, aerials, and done lache gainers. I want to get wallflips, gainers and sideflips down too. Roundoff, bhs, such combos, maybe. Maybe just at least get them down. Bar tricks, not quite there yet. My reverse vaults for distances too, its so uncontrolled..
I think I'm gonna start filming very soon, at least starting with artistic shots and timelapses. I feel like getting as much clips as possible, just to keep them in my computer or what, and also work on the PKSG 2008 video. Damn, still regretted not making the bishan jam video, only if we had a person filming for us that day, so much better and easier it will be. Lost of mood suddenly.. as I wanted to nail some stuff. Forget it anyway... and yeah, Ashton showreel, "when?" is the question.
Don't have much to write about actually.. so bye.
Gainer to catleap, dash gainer, frontflip to catleap.
Don't you find it scary if guys going to extremes and having all the songs you use in your videos as ringtones or in a playlist in your psp? And guys even memorising your videos, whenever you go to a spot you will say "So and so, did this and that" for everything. The consequences of being high profile. Don't know why man, this is so sad. Everything can be easily ignored, thats ok (easier said then done though), but sometimes things gets too irritating. Also, if you were to ignore others, you will feel guilty somehow, like imagine if you ask the other experienced traceurs for tips and yet they don't reply you and all, or just imagine if you weren't accepted by the people around you right now. Damn..
Anyway, enough of those craps, lets see...
On monday, was a good and bad day.. firstly I bailed alot of times, including have a bruised hip and sprained ankle now. Fell of a tictac crane, landing on my hip sliding down stairs.. did a running precision only to sprained my ankle upon landing, chipped my knee against a sdc (high obstacle), falling backwards off a catleap (just attempting to do a high catleap), missed the edge, landed carelessly with my ankle twisted, bailed a reverse to precision only to scratch my arm, received quite alot of impacts, etc. All those although is quite minor, its still frustrating to have, and the sprained ankle is still here, and one of the reason why I didn't went out to train today (another being rain), but still gonna practice some stuffs later when things are dryer.
Only thing really good was that I nailed the crane and also got back my flips at castle.
Strength training went on even with the sprained ankle. I just can't take impacts, but still can walk and squat normally. I realize something.. my squats are good at times, and bad at times (as in form). I'm not sure whether its 'perfect' form, but usually it feels weird, and when it feels weird, it is wrong. Usually it is because of tight muscles and wrong foot positioning. Have to get used to it soon. And I've been practicing forms of new lifts, frontsquats and goodmornings, trying to get powercleans, etc. Want to 'perfect' benchpress and deadlifts.
Gotta really work on handstands at home right now, and practice on my 360s. Theres alot of things that needs brushing up and work on right now. Currently my sdcs are like way much better then my other movements so I really shouldn't put too much emphasis on them. Running precisions or jumps in general will be better by strength training alone, oh and just abit of plyometrics for power which I will be doing. I'm gonna drill my flips, especially backflips and fronts, till its second nature (or at least as near to 2nd nature as possible). I could already those and wallspins, aerials, and done lache gainers. I want to get wallflips, gainers and sideflips down too. Roundoff, bhs, such combos, maybe. Maybe just at least get them down. Bar tricks, not quite there yet. My reverse vaults for distances too, its so uncontrolled..
I think I'm gonna start filming very soon, at least starting with artistic shots and timelapses. I feel like getting as much clips as possible, just to keep them in my computer or what, and also work on the PKSG 2008 video. Damn, still regretted not making the bishan jam video, only if we had a person filming for us that day, so much better and easier it will be. Lost of mood suddenly.. as I wanted to nail some stuff. Forget it anyway... and yeah, Ashton showreel, "when?" is the question.
Don't have much to write about actually.. so bye.
Gainer to catleap, dash gainer, frontflip to catleap.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Thoughts crawling in my mind.
Was a really long time that I last updated myself of the reason I change.
I'd like to re-read what I've posted in the past and see how much my thoughts change and the progress I'm making in my mind. I've decided to keep this opened for viewers, but still I wish to keep it underground. If one guy manage to find their way here, good then, but I don't really care.
I've thought to myself time and again, and still wonder why do I train so hard for? What drives me to go out and train? What am I training for? What do I want to be, or what do I want to do? What am I trying to achieve with all this?
Usually all this answers won't come directly to you, sometimes it will just pop by in your mind out of a sudden. It is because such questions are unique to everyone, and when people don't bother to answer those questions with honesty, or fail to give an acceptable answer to himself, its just really sad. Do we really train, so that one day we can finally put them into good use? Or really is it because we wanna be stronger, healthier, fitter, active, whatever? All these cliched examples that I've heard more then enough. Does anybody really just think about what they are even pushing themselves for? Or are they just not that serious at all, just train for the sake of training? As the saying goes yet again, Seb Foucan said "Without philosophy, action has no meaning." If you are heading in no definition direction with what you are doing now, chances are you won't stick this for long.
I don't really like it when people just give answers, that are like so stereotyped, reasons that are already heard so many times. They probably just copy and pasted from what someone have said, from some website, or something. Whether they are honest in their reasons or not is up to them, its not like I or anyone else can do anything to help it.
Again like I said earlier, such thoughts won't come directly into your face, but then again we all can really really think about what we are doing, and try to come out with an answer. Also the reasons will always change or develop, that is because as the time pass and you get more deeper into the philosophy of the discipline, your mind will have new, different thoughts as of why you are training again.
But for now, I'll just state my honest opinions to those questions that I've wrote above.
I think it is really that I have a deep passion to move, I just love movements, they are just so fun. To not be restricted by anything, is just freedom to me. To overcome any obstacles, including my mental barriers, and to do anything that I want, to be able to do movements that I've never thought of doing before, is truly freedom to me. Moving gracefully through the environment is just a wonderful thing. To achieve full body control and to continually break the frontiers of my limits is just amazing. Controlling my every movement, to move the way I want to, are just stuff anyone would dream for. Its only a sad fact that they don't have the heart to work hard for what they want. Through this discipline, its amazing how far I came from, how much blood, sweat and tears I've put in, and how much improvements and learnings I've experienced. I now definitely move to live, and live to move. To constantly improve myself is my neverending goal - to achieve it is purely optional, but to work hard for it and having fun in my quest to 'perfection' is mandatory.
It is in fact quite amazing to look back at myself before I even started training, how weak and unfortunate I am, living the life of a sloth alike my typical human companions. Now, I'm always a man in a mission, trying to make full use of time to develop myself into a stronger, faster, more proficient individual who understand the mechanics of his body. I admit that in training and outside training I'm a totally different person altogether, but nevertheless my desires are always there. I want look back at my youth when I'm much older, and feel proud that I have lived my childhood and my teenage life to the fullest. But I won't stop there, I wish to be one that could travel around the world one day, seeing the world outside of ugly, stupid and boring Singapore, touching the very soil of the birthplace of the discipline, touching the very walls of the most famous spots in the world. Without that piece of puzzle in my life's jigsaw, I won't feel completeness. I hope to transform all my dreams to reality, and to do that, the only way is to work hard.
I've not anywhere near achieving my goals of life, but I'll start as soon as now. The mountain is already ahead of me, only when I reach the peak will I feel fulfillment. My life revolves around alot things. Movements, filmmaking, friends, having fun are the main things. Will 2010 be the breakthrough year? Can I be an professional filmmaker one day? Will I be able to go down in history someday? Will I have the chance of travelling around the country doing what I love most? And when I'm old, can I tell myself that I've lived an successful, meaningful life?
It is undoubtedly hard to achieve them. Some of them might some absurd but this is how things goes. Dream big, they say. There are countless of movements I will train hard for and I'm going to risk my life. One day, I will attempt moves one shouldn't even think of it being possible. No matter how hard or how impossible it seems, it is nonetheless still attainable. Things ain't gonna be the same anymore. The words I say now no matter how dramatic or cool it sounds won't mean anything if I don't put them into action.
- And do you guys realize I hardly use the word pahcore when I talk to others, write things down, or describe what I'm doing? Because if you weren't still updated with my current situations, I don't practice pahcore, never once did. David Belle expressed pahcore as efficient movement, going from one point to another in the fastest time possible, doing movement that you will do in escape or chase situation. I wonder if anyone really think what they are doing is, pahcore. Just look at everyone, aiming to sdc as far as possible, wallpass higher, doing all single movements. Is that really pahcore? And also running is definitely the most used movement in an escape, do I see anyone really train that element? Almost everything you guys trained for is just pointless in an escape? When you are running full speed to a rail, you ain't gonna do an sdc, just jump on to it or over it, when you are doing a wallpass, chances are people can still grab your leg if you cant get up fast enough. If you have watched Teghead's Rage Froobling video, that is definitely pahcore, but everyone is bashing it all up, so whats the point, might as well make up a new name to the thing he is training. I can go on and on but I bet you guys already understand what I'm trying to get through.
Why do I don't practice pahcore then? It is because efficiency just does not appeals to me. I just wanna move the way I want to, without rules or restriction. To move with grace, as I said earlier. I don't like going in just a straight line direction, I'd like to add abit of flair into it. I'll just call it movements in general. I spelt pahcore this way because it will avoid it from appearing in searches. hehehehehe.
Just realize I written a whole bulk. Sometimes my thoughts just drift too far away from topic.
OK, lets talk about recent training. On monday I went to Bishan to train. Managed to nail some stuffs, like the 2nd storey catleap and dash to cat. But I felt that in some occasions I impacted myself too much like forcing myself to do a precision but fall back down quite badly. SDC2P as well. Really bad. My soles of my shoes are gonna wear out so soon, thanks the Bishan unforgiving rough surfaces.
The next day is my first day of deloading, they were done really fast and were really easy. I think I'm gonna make use of the time in the gym to practice form in some lifts. On gym days I think at the night I will go castle, which is what I did that day (yesterday). I drill my wallpass severely and I felt that it is getting way better. Did runs and did wallpass in different directions, after different movements, in lesser running space. Was a really good training that day. Armjumps were getting good but I lost one movement but nothing really much. After that I went to Simei and train the irritating wall (which killed my knees). Did 2 attempts, was quite close but I'm gonna stop right there. AMAZINGLY I feel a tinge of pain in my knee in both landings, I think that wall is CURSED. I HATE THAT WALL OMG!!!
Today I went to dino and shino. It is my SDC drilling day, was ok at dino, but and shino I think I really messed up my muscle memory due to the number of poor landings and badly executed SDCs. Also felt really tired and bailed twice, hitting the same spot on the same shin FUCK. I hate it when my shin gets hurt! I think I did too much, trained over the 1hr 30minutes limit, and did too much of them. The next time I go there I'm gonna make sure I land each move nicely.
Tomorrow I'm gonna rest, or just mess around with the bars and do some rail work. Can't waste my time anymore.
Friday gonna hit the gym, after that I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Saturday is the Bishan Jam, won't do much for obvious reason, but I feel like trying some stuffs, and the wallpass. Drilling precisions as well.
Sunday is my 3rd deloading day, after that I should be drilling my wallpasses again at castle.
Monday maybe going to Sengkang, train on running precision at Dame du lac, practicing basics at NC hotspot, and maybe do some high elements stuff at SK Park.
Tuesday is another day in the gym, night time probably do some bar tricks again.
Wednesday heading to the beach woohooo, must seriously start flipping already, can't waste anymore time.
Thursday another day in the gym.
Friday... friday then talk lah.
Last thing, videos. I think I am going to start filming soon, maybe the last week of November I'll start filming clips. When I go far places such as Clementi, Taman Jurong, Jelapang, or some places where I'm pretty sure I'll go just once, I'll probably bring my camera along so I can film. I'll need to get a variety of artistic shots, think of a semi-storyline, and stuffs like that.. too hard to put into words. And then there is still Ashton's video. Timelapses as well, silhouettes shots. For now I wanna train properly, seriously and progress incrementally, and make sure I don't do stupid things or really bad stressful stuffs like back in the past.
Bye noobs.
I'd like to re-read what I've posted in the past and see how much my thoughts change and the progress I'm making in my mind. I've decided to keep this opened for viewers, but still I wish to keep it underground. If one guy manage to find their way here, good then, but I don't really care.
I've thought to myself time and again, and still wonder why do I train so hard for? What drives me to go out and train? What am I training for? What do I want to be, or what do I want to do? What am I trying to achieve with all this?
Usually all this answers won't come directly to you, sometimes it will just pop by in your mind out of a sudden. It is because such questions are unique to everyone, and when people don't bother to answer those questions with honesty, or fail to give an acceptable answer to himself, its just really sad. Do we really train, so that one day we can finally put them into good use? Or really is it because we wanna be stronger, healthier, fitter, active, whatever? All these cliched examples that I've heard more then enough. Does anybody really just think about what they are even pushing themselves for? Or are they just not that serious at all, just train for the sake of training? As the saying goes yet again, Seb Foucan said "Without philosophy, action has no meaning." If you are heading in no definition direction with what you are doing now, chances are you won't stick this for long.
I don't really like it when people just give answers, that are like so stereotyped, reasons that are already heard so many times. They probably just copy and pasted from what someone have said, from some website, or something. Whether they are honest in their reasons or not is up to them, its not like I or anyone else can do anything to help it.
Again like I said earlier, such thoughts won't come directly into your face, but then again we all can really really think about what we are doing, and try to come out with an answer. Also the reasons will always change or develop, that is because as the time pass and you get more deeper into the philosophy of the discipline, your mind will have new, different thoughts as of why you are training again.
But for now, I'll just state my honest opinions to those questions that I've wrote above.
I think it is really that I have a deep passion to move, I just love movements, they are just so fun. To not be restricted by anything, is just freedom to me. To overcome any obstacles, including my mental barriers, and to do anything that I want, to be able to do movements that I've never thought of doing before, is truly freedom to me. Moving gracefully through the environment is just a wonderful thing. To achieve full body control and to continually break the frontiers of my limits is just amazing. Controlling my every movement, to move the way I want to, are just stuff anyone would dream for. Its only a sad fact that they don't have the heart to work hard for what they want. Through this discipline, its amazing how far I came from, how much blood, sweat and tears I've put in, and how much improvements and learnings I've experienced. I now definitely move to live, and live to move. To constantly improve myself is my neverending goal - to achieve it is purely optional, but to work hard for it and having fun in my quest to 'perfection' is mandatory.
It is in fact quite amazing to look back at myself before I even started training, how weak and unfortunate I am, living the life of a sloth alike my typical human companions. Now, I'm always a man in a mission, trying to make full use of time to develop myself into a stronger, faster, more proficient individual who understand the mechanics of his body. I admit that in training and outside training I'm a totally different person altogether, but nevertheless my desires are always there. I want look back at my youth when I'm much older, and feel proud that I have lived my childhood and my teenage life to the fullest. But I won't stop there, I wish to be one that could travel around the world one day, seeing the world outside of ugly, stupid and boring Singapore, touching the very soil of the birthplace of the discipline, touching the very walls of the most famous spots in the world. Without that piece of puzzle in my life's jigsaw, I won't feel completeness. I hope to transform all my dreams to reality, and to do that, the only way is to work hard.
I've not anywhere near achieving my goals of life, but I'll start as soon as now. The mountain is already ahead of me, only when I reach the peak will I feel fulfillment. My life revolves around alot things. Movements, filmmaking, friends, having fun are the main things. Will 2010 be the breakthrough year? Can I be an professional filmmaker one day? Will I be able to go down in history someday? Will I have the chance of travelling around the country doing what I love most? And when I'm old, can I tell myself that I've lived an successful, meaningful life?
It is undoubtedly hard to achieve them. Some of them might some absurd but this is how things goes. Dream big, they say. There are countless of movements I will train hard for and I'm going to risk my life. One day, I will attempt moves one shouldn't even think of it being possible. No matter how hard or how impossible it seems, it is nonetheless still attainable. Things ain't gonna be the same anymore. The words I say now no matter how dramatic or cool it sounds won't mean anything if I don't put them into action.
- And do you guys realize I hardly use the word pahcore when I talk to others, write things down, or describe what I'm doing? Because if you weren't still updated with my current situations, I don't practice pahcore, never once did. David Belle expressed pahcore as efficient movement, going from one point to another in the fastest time possible, doing movement that you will do in escape or chase situation. I wonder if anyone really think what they are doing is, pahcore. Just look at everyone, aiming to sdc as far as possible, wallpass higher, doing all single movements. Is that really pahcore? And also running is definitely the most used movement in an escape, do I see anyone really train that element? Almost everything you guys trained for is just pointless in an escape? When you are running full speed to a rail, you ain't gonna do an sdc, just jump on to it or over it, when you are doing a wallpass, chances are people can still grab your leg if you cant get up fast enough. If you have watched Teghead's Rage Froobling video, that is definitely pahcore, but everyone is bashing it all up, so whats the point, might as well make up a new name to the thing he is training. I can go on and on but I bet you guys already understand what I'm trying to get through.
Why do I don't practice pahcore then? It is because efficiency just does not appeals to me. I just wanna move the way I want to, without rules or restriction. To move with grace, as I said earlier. I don't like going in just a straight line direction, I'd like to add abit of flair into it. I'll just call it movements in general. I spelt pahcore this way because it will avoid it from appearing in searches. hehehehehe.
Just realize I written a whole bulk. Sometimes my thoughts just drift too far away from topic.
OK, lets talk about recent training. On monday I went to Bishan to train. Managed to nail some stuffs, like the 2nd storey catleap and dash to cat. But I felt that in some occasions I impacted myself too much like forcing myself to do a precision but fall back down quite badly. SDC2P as well. Really bad. My soles of my shoes are gonna wear out so soon, thanks the Bishan unforgiving rough surfaces.
The next day is my first day of deloading, they were done really fast and were really easy. I think I'm gonna make use of the time in the gym to practice form in some lifts. On gym days I think at the night I will go castle, which is what I did that day (yesterday). I drill my wallpass severely and I felt that it is getting way better. Did runs and did wallpass in different directions, after different movements, in lesser running space. Was a really good training that day. Armjumps were getting good but I lost one movement but nothing really much. After that I went to Simei and train the irritating wall (which killed my knees). Did 2 attempts, was quite close but I'm gonna stop right there. AMAZINGLY I feel a tinge of pain in my knee in both landings, I think that wall is CURSED. I HATE THAT WALL OMG!!!
Today I went to dino and shino. It is my SDC drilling day, was ok at dino, but and shino I think I really messed up my muscle memory due to the number of poor landings and badly executed SDCs. Also felt really tired and bailed twice, hitting the same spot on the same shin FUCK. I hate it when my shin gets hurt! I think I did too much, trained over the 1hr 30minutes limit, and did too much of them. The next time I go there I'm gonna make sure I land each move nicely.
Tomorrow I'm gonna rest, or just mess around with the bars and do some rail work. Can't waste my time anymore.
Friday gonna hit the gym, after that I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Saturday is the Bishan Jam, won't do much for obvious reason, but I feel like trying some stuffs, and the wallpass. Drilling precisions as well.
Sunday is my 3rd deloading day, after that I should be drilling my wallpasses again at castle.
Monday maybe going to Sengkang, train on running precision at Dame du lac, practicing basics at NC hotspot, and maybe do some high elements stuff at SK Park.
Tuesday is another day in the gym, night time probably do some bar tricks again.
Wednesday heading to the beach woohooo, must seriously start flipping already, can't waste anymore time.
Thursday another day in the gym.
Friday... friday then talk lah.
Last thing, videos. I think I am going to start filming soon, maybe the last week of November I'll start filming clips. When I go far places such as Clementi, Taman Jurong, Jelapang, or some places where I'm pretty sure I'll go just once, I'll probably bring my camera along so I can film. I'll need to get a variety of artistic shots, think of a semi-storyline, and stuffs like that.. too hard to put into words. And then there is still Ashton's video. Timelapses as well, silhouettes shots. For now I wanna train properly, seriously and progress incrementally, and make sure I don't do stupid things or really bad stressful stuffs like back in the past.
Bye noobs.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
End of 5x5
I just came back from the last day of my routine, felt really damn good. Actually I took this day like really, really preparing for like a competition kind of thing, but not really to the extent. But I did way more psyching up and proper stuffs to get you ready for your maximum lifts, and it sure did pull off well. Ok, squats was awesome, it was definitely my max of lifts, really used alot of effort into that. Was really happy to end up with a new PR, and end this cycle happily. Benchpress sucks, ok, I did manage to pull like 2 reps of 50kg, but then the 3rd rep slipped up, but I don't really care because I don't like benchpresses much. Pullups are awesome again, which is the really 2nd favourite lift in this routine, or rather, the 2nd most important lift for me.
Definitely this workout made me way more stronger and powerful, which improved my squats by 6kg for 5 reps, learnt way more about strength training, acclimated to the conditions, jumps gotten higher and further, muscleups are easy as fuck. Also I think my discipline towards this is really good, I only skipped once due to being really tired the day after my birthday jam, a sacriface I'm willing to make. On that day I would really need to push myself so if I'm going down with half of fitness I probably can't perform well. But overall I did still went for the trainings, making sure I stick to it, so I'm really happy. These are things you would need in order to get achievements you want.
Current personal records
Full back Squats of 76KG (5 reps)
Weighted Pullups of 21KG (5 reps)
Bench Press of 48KG (5 reps)
Deadlift of 66KG (5 reps) - honestly I don't really bother doing this much thats why the gap.
Standing Press of 35KG (5 reps) - yeah don't train this either.
Oh yeah when I took out my camera, some guys over there was asking me why do I take videos, in a sarcastic tone. Well the other guys were talking to themselves in malay and said the word "youtube" and they burst out laughing. Its really funny though how they laugh to ourselves, either thinking we're weak, or wanting to showoff, when they are the ones who are weak, and training for big bulky muscle to attract girls. Firstly whats wrong of just taking some clips of my personal achievement? Its not like I wanna post it in the net and show off my squats. Its just stupid. But ah, fuck it, I shouldn't care.
I really doubt this is my maximum, I mean, maybe, just maybe I could go for more but I decided to take a break now, because I've been constantly increasing workload week by week and fatigue is really building up, so I need to take time out as well. Also since now its the holidays, I would probably want to train more so as to keep up with the time. After deloading I'll probably do some proper training for strength so that I don't get rusty when it comes to next year, and of course training movements, which I'm gonna think of what I should focus on training for this period of time.
My goals for next year is to get a 5 reps full back squats of 2x my bodyweight (which would be 100kg ++). I really hope I could, since next year I would really focus alot on my strength. I would also train hard for an OAC, so I hope I could be able to do Planche en Force before the end of this year. I just hope I don't gain too much mass or something in the next year. I really need to finish my puberty soon, in fact it hasn't even reached the halfway point, damn it I do lack growth hormones. I need to grow!
Anyway, of course all this goal is just for next year. But for life, I would really want to be able to squat 3 plates one day, which is 140kg, and being able to pullup with my own bodyweight added.
After reviewing the jumps that I wanted to do, it seems like really, many things aren't that easy as you think. Yeah for sure my legs have increased power, but that doesn't mean I can nail all the big stuffs I used to be unable to. I think I'm too complacent. Just because I've improved, doesn't mean that I can nail the stuffs that I couldn't in the past. Things are way harder then it seems, almost always, but definitely in whatever circumstances, everything is possible.
I guess the thing I want to do in the future and during the holidays, is not all the big jump stuffs. They will be improved with strength training alone. Heres what I think I will be doing. Generally alot of more technical stuffs, meaning its not about strength or power, but rather of confidence and technique. Things like flips, reverse vault for distance, 360 precision/catleap. I'll try precision jumps, but usually to a higher obstacle, its way lighter in terms of impacts, and I want to get used to the "JUMP UP NOT FORWARD, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!" shit. I want to get used to different kinds of vaults. Train more runs. Out of everything, the most important one is to just keep everything low impact, and drill severely, but try to keep movements training at most 1hr 30minutes, or spreaded out alittle longer, but don't overtrain your body lest you kill your knees and ankles.
Just a conversation with Nazir just now had already changed my thoughts on how I see posers mostly and my thinking in a whole. Well few questions, if theres newcomers, would you train in front of them? How would you feel if they suck up to you? How would you react to newcomers saying 'WOAH' (like Zhiyang) everytime when you do 'big' stuffs? People copying you? Those kind of questions. What he said actually does make sense.
Firstly, whats wrong with training in front of newcomers? My initial thoughts are that, they will want to copy you, and they will irritate you and shit. Now, actually whats the point of letting a bunch of posers, or in fact any people, get into your way of training. Just do what you want to, and there's no need to care about what they say or think about you. About copying, it is true that everyone does copy from each other. Just look at the videos, how many people are doing the same thing, sdc to pre, sdc to pre, all the same. Nazir said was true, those were just goals. Just look at how many people aiming to do the nazir's wall, SDC2P at dinos, all the stuffs. There isn't a rule that say its wrong to copy others, theyre just goals to nail for, to test progression. I was too sensitive, but yeah I still think we should take some time out and think of new ways to move and not be too close minded and copy ALL THE TIME. Yeah and I shouldn't be all worked up if anyone would copy me. No point.
Was also chatting about when kids wants to be like you, and suck up to you and all that. Oh, so just a few words they say will affect your whole training and thoughts? There's no point dreading over it. Just really, heck care. What really matters is yourself, the reason you are training, no one should affect you. You just have to be yourself.
I wonder if you guys actually really thought of what you're doing. Everyone definitely have their own way of training, own reason, own style. Just wondering at all, if you guys take this seriously. Do you guys actually thought of the reason why you train? OH WAIT, I KNOW, self-improvement, so you can use it in an escape, to be more active more stronger, overcome my mental barriers. I'm so bored of such generic reasons of training. I will want to share my thoughts, BUT NAH, you guys will probably copy and paste what I said and say "yeah yeah me too!". You know sometimes the real reason why I chose to be original sometimes and not always blindly copy other is that, you will need as a person yourself to think about your reasoning, your way of training, the direction you're heading. You know, without philosophy, action HAVE NO MEANING. I want to really think the real purpose of my training, and really see why I am doing all this, what do I want to gain. But then again, as long as I know myself, and have a clear conscience, I'm all set.
Ah, I really don't know what to say now.
I guess now as my 10 week routine is totally well done and over, time to start training movement for the remaing 6weeks +/- of the year, to do some unfinished business. I'm gonna start filming soon. Gonna really plan on each training, and deloading, and what I'm gonna do in the gym in december. I don't wanna waste anymore time now, have to take the full advantage of time I have, training at night if I have to.
Yeah fuck I don't feel like talking so much, actions speak louder then words.
BTW go watch my new video on denester1 profile!
Definitely this workout made me way more stronger and powerful, which improved my squats by 6kg for 5 reps, learnt way more about strength training, acclimated to the conditions, jumps gotten higher and further, muscleups are easy as fuck. Also I think my discipline towards this is really good, I only skipped once due to being really tired the day after my birthday jam, a sacriface I'm willing to make. On that day I would really need to push myself so if I'm going down with half of fitness I probably can't perform well. But overall I did still went for the trainings, making sure I stick to it, so I'm really happy. These are things you would need in order to get achievements you want.
Current personal records
Full back Squats of 76KG (5 reps)
Weighted Pullups of 21KG (5 reps)
Bench Press of 48KG (5 reps)
Deadlift of 66KG (5 reps) - honestly I don't really bother doing this much thats why the gap.
Standing Press of 35KG (5 reps) - yeah don't train this either.
Oh yeah when I took out my camera, some guys over there was asking me why do I take videos, in a sarcastic tone. Well the other guys were talking to themselves in malay and said the word "youtube" and they burst out laughing. Its really funny though how they laugh to ourselves, either thinking we're weak, or wanting to showoff, when they are the ones who are weak, and training for big bulky muscle to attract girls. Firstly whats wrong of just taking some clips of my personal achievement? Its not like I wanna post it in the net and show off my squats. Its just stupid. But ah, fuck it, I shouldn't care.
I really doubt this is my maximum, I mean, maybe, just maybe I could go for more but I decided to take a break now, because I've been constantly increasing workload week by week and fatigue is really building up, so I need to take time out as well. Also since now its the holidays, I would probably want to train more so as to keep up with the time. After deloading I'll probably do some proper training for strength so that I don't get rusty when it comes to next year, and of course training movements, which I'm gonna think of what I should focus on training for this period of time.
My goals for next year is to get a 5 reps full back squats of 2x my bodyweight (which would be 100kg ++). I really hope I could, since next year I would really focus alot on my strength. I would also train hard for an OAC, so I hope I could be able to do Planche en Force before the end of this year. I just hope I don't gain too much mass or something in the next year. I really need to finish my puberty soon, in fact it hasn't even reached the halfway point, damn it I do lack growth hormones. I need to grow!
Anyway, of course all this goal is just for next year. But for life, I would really want to be able to squat 3 plates one day, which is 140kg, and being able to pullup with my own bodyweight added.
After reviewing the jumps that I wanted to do, it seems like really, many things aren't that easy as you think. Yeah for sure my legs have increased power, but that doesn't mean I can nail all the big stuffs I used to be unable to. I think I'm too complacent. Just because I've improved, doesn't mean that I can nail the stuffs that I couldn't in the past. Things are way harder then it seems, almost always, but definitely in whatever circumstances, everything is possible.
I guess the thing I want to do in the future and during the holidays, is not all the big jump stuffs. They will be improved with strength training alone. Heres what I think I will be doing. Generally alot of more technical stuffs, meaning its not about strength or power, but rather of confidence and technique. Things like flips, reverse vault for distance, 360 precision/catleap. I'll try precision jumps, but usually to a higher obstacle, its way lighter in terms of impacts, and I want to get used to the "JUMP UP NOT FORWARD, GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!" shit. I want to get used to different kinds of vaults. Train more runs. Out of everything, the most important one is to just keep everything low impact, and drill severely, but try to keep movements training at most 1hr 30minutes, or spreaded out alittle longer, but don't overtrain your body lest you kill your knees and ankles.
Just a conversation with Nazir just now had already changed my thoughts on how I see posers mostly and my thinking in a whole. Well few questions, if theres newcomers, would you train in front of them? How would you feel if they suck up to you? How would you react to newcomers saying 'WOAH' (like Zhiyang) everytime when you do 'big' stuffs? People copying you? Those kind of questions. What he said actually does make sense.
Firstly, whats wrong with training in front of newcomers? My initial thoughts are that, they will want to copy you, and they will irritate you and shit. Now, actually whats the point of letting a bunch of posers, or in fact any people, get into your way of training. Just do what you want to, and there's no need to care about what they say or think about you. About copying, it is true that everyone does copy from each other. Just look at the videos, how many people are doing the same thing, sdc to pre, sdc to pre, all the same. Nazir said was true, those were just goals. Just look at how many people aiming to do the nazir's wall, SDC2P at dinos, all the stuffs. There isn't a rule that say its wrong to copy others, theyre just goals to nail for, to test progression. I was too sensitive, but yeah I still think we should take some time out and think of new ways to move and not be too close minded and copy ALL THE TIME. Yeah and I shouldn't be all worked up if anyone would copy me. No point.
Was also chatting about when kids wants to be like you, and suck up to you and all that. Oh, so just a few words they say will affect your whole training and thoughts? There's no point dreading over it. Just really, heck care. What really matters is yourself, the reason you are training, no one should affect you. You just have to be yourself.
I wonder if you guys actually really thought of what you're doing. Everyone definitely have their own way of training, own reason, own style. Just wondering at all, if you guys take this seriously. Do you guys actually thought of the reason why you train? OH WAIT, I KNOW, self-improvement, so you can use it in an escape, to be more active more stronger, overcome my mental barriers. I'm so bored of such generic reasons of training. I will want to share my thoughts, BUT NAH, you guys will probably copy and paste what I said and say "yeah yeah me too!". You know sometimes the real reason why I chose to be original sometimes and not always blindly copy other is that, you will need as a person yourself to think about your reasoning, your way of training, the direction you're heading. You know, without philosophy, action HAVE NO MEANING. I want to really think the real purpose of my training, and really see why I am doing all this, what do I want to gain. But then again, as long as I know myself, and have a clear conscience, I'm all set.
Ah, I really don't know what to say now.
I guess now as my 10 week routine is totally well done and over, time to start training movement for the remaing 6weeks +/- of the year, to do some unfinished business. I'm gonna start filming soon. Gonna really plan on each training, and deloading, and what I'm gonna do in the gym in december. I don't wanna waste anymore time now, have to take the full advantage of time I have, training at night if I have to.
Yeah fuck I don't feel like talking so much, actions speak louder then words.
BTW go watch my new video on denester1 profile!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Another rant.
Alright, 4 more sessions to go, about 9 days to go. I can't wait to start training proper movement training. School has ended yesterday, so much more time to relax right now and take everything slowly. Right now since I have the time, I must put them into good use. I think its gonna be time to plan my trainings, and my deloading for strength training, and what will I do in the gym during December.
Yesterday I went to train with Dblucy, actually ain't supposed to but since I got time I just wanna kind of de-stress myself. In the end as usual, trained alot more then I should. My knee isn't fully healed thats for sure, thats why I shouldn't do too much. Just yesterday made me realize the gains I had from my routine and how effective squats is. I feel so much progress in my leg power and I can feel that the stuffs I use to be able to do are bloody easy now, and I can jump further right now, including nailing some really cool new stuffs. But then I shouldn't continue pushing the limits, but rather strive to 'perfect' the easier ones. I feel that my precisions really improved in terms of landing it nicely, and I've felt that I jump up more (instead of jumping too much forward) right now, but still think that it could be better. Wallpasses on the other hand are terrible. First is the height that I'm getting, and secondly is how I couldn't connect the grabbing the edge part with the climbup. I wanna work on my climbups particularly after wallpasses and also when my legs are low.
So much improvements in my jumps right now I feel that I can crane that shit soon at Sengkang. I wanna drill my basics or movements that I'm comfortable with now and not continue doing big stuffs. Also incorporate more runs into my training regimen. What I felt yesterday was something kind of like.. enlightenment. It really tells me that you can do anything you want if you really want to. The few stuffs I did there was what I used to tell myself and others that "I will do that one day", or some random stuffs I would think is 'impossible' or 'too hard' in the past, if I even thought of a possibility of doing things. The spot castle holds a some memories. It was the very first spot I train at, and also one of the most frequent spot I train in, until now I find that place one of the best places to ever train at. I haven't really got bored of it. I can tell I know castle pretty damn well, because everytime after school I will past by there and do a few moves, went to train there at night at several occasions, the time with my poser friends, the time with Wesley and friends, castle is still one of the best spot in Singapore. Don't get why people don't like that place. You can train everything over there.
Boreded. My mother as usual continue taking my POCKET MONEY now. Look at the extent she had gone to. I almost couldn't go to gym today but luckily had some spare cash. She is really too much and I made it well bloody clear if she even dare to think of taking my bursary, I'm sure to do something. I really cannot stand it already. Its all my money and none of hers. I seriously don't know what to say already. If you were me you confirm also cannot stand it.
Sometimes people can be so bloody unreasonable. I still remember about months back, when teachers are bloody unreasonable. Firstly, I merely bounced the ball in class and the teacher was fucking not happy, blah and blah then she wanna confiscate it. So be it, she go take herself lah. Then she kept warning me to give her the ball. Fuck if she want the ball take herself sia. And for that she decided to give me the pink form. LAME SIA. Oh, and there was another reason to it. I was doing the science homework, in her chinese (OH FUCK I HATE CHINESE) lesson because I have nothing else to do. I've already copied whatever shit that will not affect my results in my chinese exam at all. So I wanted to do my own homework which I need to passup on that day. She go confiscate it. You tell me whether it is correct or not. All this is on the same day, so I got really pissed, so I just bloody took back the homework from the table right after the lesson. She demanded me to return her but I just can't be bothered. The next few days (NOTE, ABOUT A WEEK LATER) she gave me the pink form. Bloody unreasonable sia. She say bouncing the ball affected my classmates. LOL, its not even making much noise, she is just too sensitive. Secondly she said when I copied my work finished, I can still read through my notes.. LIKE I EVEN CARE. SAD SIA. But of course given her attitude and obesity, and biasness and being so bloody unreasonable, I just bloody hell sign the pink form to make her happy, although she fail in life.
People like this are so darn bloody unreasonable, sad sia to have this people even passing through your life. Oh I forget to mention, right after that, I pretended to be ok with her, talk to her ask her question.. just on one very day, she was saying about "If I had a kid that will behave like Jonathan, blah blah" (jonathan is my classmate), then I jokingly said "Teacher don't worry, you won't have a kid." After she heard me, SHE GOT FUCKING ANGRY, and said stuffs like you want a second pink form, and all this kind of stupid stuff. FIRST, it was a joke but she took it so seriously. Maybe because the joke, is actually a fact, and also I hit the nail on the head, she probably is infertile or something. SECONDLY, everyone like to make jokes at her expense but she took it as a joke, but for me, she didnt. FUCK. THAT IS FUCKING UNFAIR. From then on I just fucking gave her attitude, ponteng her lessons, and sleep at her lessons. I REALLY CANT FUCKING BOTHER SIA, chinese already suck, and with a teacher like that, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET?
Oh I forget to mention, she complained to my form teacher (who is also retarded) about the stuffs I did, and because of that, my form teacher got a bad impression of me. And do you know what, when I was returning me the report book, he told me "You can get to the top 5 in level, or even top 3, but it is not because of your studies, but because of the bad side of you," I gave the "yeah yeah blah", because seriously sia, because of those few shits... he actually thought that it affected my studies. Lame sia..
Irritating sia. The reason why I bought up this topic is just recently, theres so unreasonable people in my house.. I mean seriously. Whats wrong with people lah. My mother is already one of them, unreasonably taking my money. Then my sister is so fucking selfish, she wants everything her way, and when she flares up everyone must accomodate to her likings. Like most people do anyway. Then my father usually the most cocky one, he's like one of the people in my life that I acted to be OK with but actually I hate him like fuck. For ALOT (fuck at least 20) of GOOD reasons. Its quite sad lah, to have 3 pain in the ass people in my house. I should include another one which is my brother, who now I dont even talk to him at all, since last time, about 6 months ago. That makes it 4 out of 5 people in my family (the other person is me of course). I don't know why though, when people say you are stupid (zhiyang), unreasonable and unfair (the chinese teacher (hey I really said that to her face and she gave like 1000 excuses to prove me wrong, crazy sia)), selfish (sister), and blah blah, THEY ARE REFUSE TO ADMIT IT, AND LIKE FELT SO INSULTED BY IT. I mean seriously man, its some BLOODY FACT and yet they can't face it. Irritating as fuck, really.
I digressed a bit too much. I find blogging the best way to rant down all your emotions and stuffs, although it is just about temporary. It really doesn't matter if no one reads it at all (because probably half of them couldn't relate to you as much), it does help. I guess I want to write more post about those kind of things, something similar to Frank Yang, that writes his thought about a topic.
Where was I.. oh yeah.
I wanted to also say something about the newcomers. Well just yesterday (again), I was at castle, and at castle there was two guys. They seem to also know "pahcour" and I did see them do something, but when we came, they just watch only, which is irritating, but no choice. Well... the thing is, they actually already know me. I didn't know, I thought they were just some losers that saw it on youtube or TV then just try out for fun.. just didnt have a clue about it at all. Thing is, when I came home and about an hour later I saw a new comment in my youtube profile (denester). SHOCKINGLY, THEY FUCKING KNOW ME. Which scared the shit out of my life. Damn. First thing I felt was like, WTF MAN, am I that famous? Well in this case its nothing to be happy off, because well, I don't really want to be well known to those irritating poser or shit, if some media thing that will OK, but still I PREFER to get the attention of the people in UK.
Ok thats not the point. The reason why I felt like very irritated to know that they are actually real posers and stuffs is like, from experience (people like yuanhan, irritating stupid people like him), if I do those big stuffs, the posers will go like "WOW!! WAHHH!!" like Zhiyang and sometimes it feels irritating, when it comes from the posers. Sure if people did a big jump of what is does look impressive, but the natural thought that comes to my mind when people (especially posers or other retarded people) say WAH is that they are really poser-ish and stupid. Don't know if its just me though. Secondly, is that they will go "WAH TODAY I MET CP AND I SAW HIM DID THIS JUMP, THIS ONE, THAT ONE, THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT!" and their friends will go "WAHHHHHHH!! I DON'T BELIEVE!! SIAOO!!" all those kind of poserish crap. The thing is, if no one thought of seeing a person do a move, they will either wont think of it, or will think of it but never think of doing it as its 'impossible'. But once they have seen a person, especially if that guy is "PRO" (FUCK I HATE THAT WORD), they will go wow first, then they will think it is so much more possible and will want to try that out next time, as their target or motivation. Irritating sia.
I've already realize this and I want to be original, and I don't see why must people keep following other people movement, and not find their own way. I just want to be able to do what I want to do, and find my own way. Its kinda stupid don't you think, to just copying everyone movement. Also thats another reason why I fear training with newcomers or just people I don't know or don't really like to be with. They will either ask you to do stuffs like "EHH CP CAN SHOW ME HOW YOU DO THIS LEH" and obviously go "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" like Zhiyang always do again. Irritaing sia the feeling. I know of people who actually memorised everything in my video. Crazy sia.. I make videos not for the poser to watch and tell me to do again, but to at least try to get across in the UK, to spark some attention over there. I've been supporting and following the UK parkour scene for a long time already, and it will be a dream to train with Teghead, PhillyD and Ilabaca. Sadly things get all so wrong.
Thats why for the Bishan jam, I keep in mind (and warned some others as well) to not do too much and don't do anything big, because of the reasons stated. Sometimes if you do a big stuff, then newcomer will actually try it out and undoubtedly fail in that case. I will just teach when I need to, train abit when I need to, and film most of the time. Its like that.. you can stop them. But then there might still be a chance to find out a hidden potential traceur... but its a rare chance.
-
Poser, what defines a poser? Sure Dblucy, me, and probably half of everyone started out like a total poser. To me, theres a slight difference between one that has potential, and one that obviously does it for the thrill. First, I think if they have the genuine passion and heart to the sport, as in the neverending willingness and inquisitiveness to ask questions and experiment with things, read out the philosophy and train by themselves and condition and all that. They will find their own motivation, and develop oneself.
The reason why I feel so irked to train with the LastBreathClan, or watch backpacktraceurs' video and hear that engineer's self-proclaimed 153 IQ's calculations is that, I've learnt my lesson, thanks to the very first newcomer that I trained with. He is none other than Yuanhan and the undisputed world's worst poser of all time (that is because he has all the qualities a fucking retarded poser will have, and more). I don't see why should I waste my precious time on those names stated above as in the end all those people who call you out to train, is just wanna see the big guys do big stuffs, and in turn sucking up to them, keep asking them to train with you and irritate you further, take advantage of you (I know Yuanhan had learnt alot from me, but fuck it, all of it has gone to waste thanks to his freaking retarded mindset and attitude), and just plainly wasting your time. You guys say it is definitely worth it to help them up as after all you are one of the posers that more or less is brought up by the other traceurs. Sure, but theres an easier way. Set up occasional big jams like in every 2 or 3 months, and from there spot out any potential ones, and call them down for a jam or something.
If I received any guys asking me questions in youtube or anywhere else, adding me to msn randomly, I might just help out, but then until a point where they got too much on my nerve then I give up. Or I can just choose an easier way out, just don't really care much, thats right, I think I will just don't care much.
Thats my point of view.
Now then I understand why Nazir choose to not go for jams like this, and not make videos of him, not to be easily contacted, or call to many people to come for his training, only his close friends. Also I understand why he wants to treat this people coldly, because he knows that if he instil fear among those newcomers, they will be scared and won't want to train with him (which could be good), and also if they come and he yell and them, those people who are angry with him are probably those people who don't have the spirit to train. I don't think his insults are totally personal unless the guy did something to him or what, and most of the time he is joking. That is why, I think he is very smart in handling such things. Also, the clips that he post in his accounts is how he set the standard so high, especially the Nazir wall, which I think to some guys still think its impossible.
Got nothing to say about this people. I really don't want to train with newcomers, or if its a big jam something like this than I won't train too much infront of them. I just wanna train with people that I'm close with and such. Learnt my lesson already. Then again, I won't want to not make videos just because of this stupid people. I just won't even think of entertaining them. I will just go for the big jams and see for any potential ones. Its quite easy to see.
I've got alot of things to think about and talk about, but I lost track of time and I'm tired now. I wonder if anyone reads my blog, if anyone is reading this right now, at least tag man! So I know someone actually bothers to read the boring content of my blog.
Yesterday I went to train with Dblucy, actually ain't supposed to but since I got time I just wanna kind of de-stress myself. In the end as usual, trained alot more then I should. My knee isn't fully healed thats for sure, thats why I shouldn't do too much. Just yesterday made me realize the gains I had from my routine and how effective squats is. I feel so much progress in my leg power and I can feel that the stuffs I use to be able to do are bloody easy now, and I can jump further right now, including nailing some really cool new stuffs. But then I shouldn't continue pushing the limits, but rather strive to 'perfect' the easier ones. I feel that my precisions really improved in terms of landing it nicely, and I've felt that I jump up more (instead of jumping too much forward) right now, but still think that it could be better. Wallpasses on the other hand are terrible. First is the height that I'm getting, and secondly is how I couldn't connect the grabbing the edge part with the climbup. I wanna work on my climbups particularly after wallpasses and also when my legs are low.
So much improvements in my jumps right now I feel that I can crane that shit soon at Sengkang. I wanna drill my basics or movements that I'm comfortable with now and not continue doing big stuffs. Also incorporate more runs into my training regimen. What I felt yesterday was something kind of like.. enlightenment. It really tells me that you can do anything you want if you really want to. The few stuffs I did there was what I used to tell myself and others that "I will do that one day", or some random stuffs I would think is 'impossible' or 'too hard' in the past, if I even thought of a possibility of doing things. The spot castle holds a some memories. It was the very first spot I train at, and also one of the most frequent spot I train in, until now I find that place one of the best places to ever train at. I haven't really got bored of it. I can tell I know castle pretty damn well, because everytime after school I will past by there and do a few moves, went to train there at night at several occasions, the time with my poser friends, the time with Wesley and friends, castle is still one of the best spot in Singapore. Don't get why people don't like that place. You can train everything over there.
Boreded. My mother as usual continue taking my POCKET MONEY now. Look at the extent she had gone to. I almost couldn't go to gym today but luckily had some spare cash. She is really too much and I made it well bloody clear if she even dare to think of taking my bursary, I'm sure to do something. I really cannot stand it already. Its all my money and none of hers. I seriously don't know what to say already. If you were me you confirm also cannot stand it.
Sometimes people can be so bloody unreasonable. I still remember about months back, when teachers are bloody unreasonable. Firstly, I merely bounced the ball in class and the teacher was fucking not happy, blah and blah then she wanna confiscate it. So be it, she go take herself lah. Then she kept warning me to give her the ball. Fuck if she want the ball take herself sia. And for that she decided to give me the pink form. LAME SIA. Oh, and there was another reason to it. I was doing the science homework, in her chinese (OH FUCK I HATE CHINESE) lesson because I have nothing else to do. I've already copied whatever shit that will not affect my results in my chinese exam at all. So I wanted to do my own homework which I need to passup on that day. She go confiscate it. You tell me whether it is correct or not. All this is on the same day, so I got really pissed, so I just bloody took back the homework from the table right after the lesson. She demanded me to return her but I just can't be bothered. The next few days (NOTE, ABOUT A WEEK LATER) she gave me the pink form. Bloody unreasonable sia. She say bouncing the ball affected my classmates. LOL, its not even making much noise, she is just too sensitive. Secondly she said when I copied my work finished, I can still read through my notes.. LIKE I EVEN CARE. SAD SIA. But of course given her attitude and obesity, and biasness and being so bloody unreasonable, I just bloody hell sign the pink form to make her happy, although she fail in life.
People like this are so darn bloody unreasonable, sad sia to have this people even passing through your life. Oh I forget to mention, right after that, I pretended to be ok with her, talk to her ask her question.. just on one very day, she was saying about "If I had a kid that will behave like Jonathan, blah blah" (jonathan is my classmate), then I jokingly said "Teacher don't worry, you won't have a kid." After she heard me, SHE GOT FUCKING ANGRY, and said stuffs like you want a second pink form, and all this kind of stupid stuff. FIRST, it was a joke but she took it so seriously. Maybe because the joke, is actually a fact, and also I hit the nail on the head, she probably is infertile or something. SECONDLY, everyone like to make jokes at her expense but she took it as a joke, but for me, she didnt. FUCK. THAT IS FUCKING UNFAIR. From then on I just fucking gave her attitude, ponteng her lessons, and sleep at her lessons. I REALLY CANT FUCKING BOTHER SIA, chinese already suck, and with a teacher like that, HOW WORSE CAN IT GET?
Oh I forget to mention, she complained to my form teacher (who is also retarded) about the stuffs I did, and because of that, my form teacher got a bad impression of me. And do you know what, when I was returning me the report book, he told me "You can get to the top 5 in level, or even top 3, but it is not because of your studies, but because of the bad side of you," I gave the "yeah yeah blah", because seriously sia, because of those few shits... he actually thought that it affected my studies. Lame sia..
Irritating sia. The reason why I bought up this topic is just recently, theres so unreasonable people in my house.. I mean seriously. Whats wrong with people lah. My mother is already one of them, unreasonably taking my money. Then my sister is so fucking selfish, she wants everything her way, and when she flares up everyone must accomodate to her likings. Like most people do anyway. Then my father usually the most cocky one, he's like one of the people in my life that I acted to be OK with but actually I hate him like fuck. For ALOT (fuck at least 20) of GOOD reasons. Its quite sad lah, to have 3 pain in the ass people in my house. I should include another one which is my brother, who now I dont even talk to him at all, since last time, about 6 months ago. That makes it 4 out of 5 people in my family (the other person is me of course). I don't know why though, when people say you are stupid (zhiyang), unreasonable and unfair (the chinese teacher (hey I really said that to her face and she gave like 1000 excuses to prove me wrong, crazy sia)), selfish (sister), and blah blah, THEY ARE REFUSE TO ADMIT IT, AND LIKE FELT SO INSULTED BY IT. I mean seriously man, its some BLOODY FACT and yet they can't face it. Irritating as fuck, really.
I digressed a bit too much. I find blogging the best way to rant down all your emotions and stuffs, although it is just about temporary. It really doesn't matter if no one reads it at all (because probably half of them couldn't relate to you as much), it does help. I guess I want to write more post about those kind of things, something similar to Frank Yang, that writes his thought about a topic.
Where was I.. oh yeah.
I wanted to also say something about the newcomers. Well just yesterday (again), I was at castle, and at castle there was two guys. They seem to also know "pahcour" and I did see them do something, but when we came, they just watch only, which is irritating, but no choice. Well... the thing is, they actually already know me. I didn't know, I thought they were just some losers that saw it on youtube or TV then just try out for fun.. just didnt have a clue about it at all. Thing is, when I came home and about an hour later I saw a new comment in my youtube profile (denester). SHOCKINGLY, THEY FUCKING KNOW ME. Which scared the shit out of my life. Damn. First thing I felt was like, WTF MAN, am I that famous? Well in this case its nothing to be happy off, because well, I don't really want to be well known to those irritating poser or shit, if some media thing that will OK, but still I PREFER to get the attention of the people in UK.
Ok thats not the point. The reason why I felt like very irritated to know that they are actually real posers and stuffs is like, from experience (people like yuanhan, irritating stupid people like him), if I do those big stuffs, the posers will go like "WOW!! WAHHH!!" like Zhiyang and sometimes it feels irritating, when it comes from the posers. Sure if people did a big jump of what is does look impressive, but the natural thought that comes to my mind when people (especially posers or other retarded people) say WAH is that they are really poser-ish and stupid. Don't know if its just me though. Secondly, is that they will go "WAH TODAY I MET CP AND I SAW HIM DID THIS JUMP, THIS ONE, THAT ONE, THIS AND THAT AND THIS AND THAT!" and their friends will go "WAHHHHHHH!! I DON'T BELIEVE!! SIAOO!!" all those kind of poserish crap. The thing is, if no one thought of seeing a person do a move, they will either wont think of it, or will think of it but never think of doing it as its 'impossible'. But once they have seen a person, especially if that guy is "PRO" (FUCK I HATE THAT WORD), they will go wow first, then they will think it is so much more possible and will want to try that out next time, as their target or motivation. Irritating sia.
I've already realize this and I want to be original, and I don't see why must people keep following other people movement, and not find their own way. I just want to be able to do what I want to do, and find my own way. Its kinda stupid don't you think, to just copying everyone movement. Also thats another reason why I fear training with newcomers or just people I don't know or don't really like to be with. They will either ask you to do stuffs like "EHH CP CAN SHOW ME HOW YOU DO THIS LEH" and obviously go "WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" like Zhiyang always do again. Irritaing sia the feeling. I know of people who actually memorised everything in my video. Crazy sia.. I make videos not for the poser to watch and tell me to do again, but to at least try to get across in the UK, to spark some attention over there. I've been supporting and following the UK parkour scene for a long time already, and it will be a dream to train with Teghead, PhillyD and Ilabaca. Sadly things get all so wrong.
Thats why for the Bishan jam, I keep in mind (and warned some others as well) to not do too much and don't do anything big, because of the reasons stated. Sometimes if you do a big stuff, then newcomer will actually try it out and undoubtedly fail in that case. I will just teach when I need to, train abit when I need to, and film most of the time. Its like that.. you can stop them. But then there might still be a chance to find out a hidden potential traceur... but its a rare chance.
-
Poser, what defines a poser? Sure Dblucy, me, and probably half of everyone started out like a total poser. To me, theres a slight difference between one that has potential, and one that obviously does it for the thrill. First, I think if they have the genuine passion and heart to the sport, as in the neverending willingness and inquisitiveness to ask questions and experiment with things, read out the philosophy and train by themselves and condition and all that. They will find their own motivation, and develop oneself.
The reason why I feel so irked to train with the LastBreathClan, or watch backpacktraceurs' video and hear that engineer's self-proclaimed 153 IQ's calculations is that, I've learnt my lesson, thanks to the very first newcomer that I trained with. He is none other than Yuanhan and the undisputed world's worst poser of all time (that is because he has all the qualities a fucking retarded poser will have, and more). I don't see why should I waste my precious time on those names stated above as in the end all those people who call you out to train, is just wanna see the big guys do big stuffs, and in turn sucking up to them, keep asking them to train with you and irritate you further, take advantage of you (I know Yuanhan had learnt alot from me, but fuck it, all of it has gone to waste thanks to his freaking retarded mindset and attitude), and just plainly wasting your time. You guys say it is definitely worth it to help them up as after all you are one of the posers that more or less is brought up by the other traceurs. Sure, but theres an easier way. Set up occasional big jams like in every 2 or 3 months, and from there spot out any potential ones, and call them down for a jam or something.
If I received any guys asking me questions in youtube or anywhere else, adding me to msn randomly, I might just help out, but then until a point where they got too much on my nerve then I give up. Or I can just choose an easier way out, just don't really care much, thats right, I think I will just don't care much.
Thats my point of view.
Now then I understand why Nazir choose to not go for jams like this, and not make videos of him, not to be easily contacted, or call to many people to come for his training, only his close friends. Also I understand why he wants to treat this people coldly, because he knows that if he instil fear among those newcomers, they will be scared and won't want to train with him (which could be good), and also if they come and he yell and them, those people who are angry with him are probably those people who don't have the spirit to train. I don't think his insults are totally personal unless the guy did something to him or what, and most of the time he is joking. That is why, I think he is very smart in handling such things. Also, the clips that he post in his accounts is how he set the standard so high, especially the Nazir wall, which I think to some guys still think its impossible.
Got nothing to say about this people. I really don't want to train with newcomers, or if its a big jam something like this than I won't train too much infront of them. I just wanna train with people that I'm close with and such. Learnt my lesson already. Then again, I won't want to not make videos just because of this stupid people. I just won't even think of entertaining them. I will just go for the big jams and see for any potential ones. Its quite easy to see.
I've got alot of things to think about and talk about, but I lost track of time and I'm tired now. I wonder if anyone reads my blog, if anyone is reading this right now, at least tag man! So I know someone actually bothers to read the boring content of my blog.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Stressation.
Nowadays I feel abit stress, over many things, feel like its really tiring to live. Few reasons, money, friends, trainings, school, time, myself, etc. I don't know how do I make myself less stress, I really need time out from trainings from the gym and really do what I like, movements. School is over, why am I actually stressing over them even though I've scored well? I don't know, next year's my majors and I'm really losing out the study mood, next year is would really be stressful. I'm really reluctant to spend money now because I really don't have money now, my parents always quarell over money, now theres economic probelms and so many other things, I always feel pain to even spend a dollar. Sucks man. And my friends in school, I really don't know if theres anyone who regard me as a proper friend, the feeling really sucks, but as long as no one really hates me, I should be happy enough. Time now is passing so fast, I think in almost a blink of an eye school reopens and it will really felt like what a fucking waste of time.
As you guys know I really, really wanna train properly in the holidays but one probelm. Around this time of the month, it always rains. Its kinda frustrating for that to happen, and I really wouldn't want to stay at home and not train even if it rains. I really need to work on my flips, because thats what I really suck at at the moment and I can't think of any other places that are suitable for learning flips. I really wanna train at prime but it will cost 15bucks + travel time. Sucks man, and then the other wise alternative would be the beach, yet again, troublesome (have to get wet and change), and kinda far as well. If it REALLY rains I'll just go to gym. Or train in the night.
The stuffs that I want to work on is wallpass and armjumps. The main thing is the stupid "JUMP UP 45degrees" thing. I always tend to jump way too forward ending up with so little height. This will definitely help in all aspect of movements, more so in running jumps and especially flips. I just wanna get my SDCs real consistent and powerful as well, and work on runs, to be real fluid in string of movements. I wanna get really good all-around, firstly in individual movements, then into real-time runs like showcased in my March 08 video. Work on my speed and power in movements, and also confidence and fluidity. I'll also want to work on my precision jumps, control. Thats about it. On training, I would try to make sure I don't do too much, just a quick good session of 1hour would be good enough, and of course not to do too much impactful stuffs, and not push my limits too much.
Strength training, left two weeks till I'll conclude the routine. 6 sessions more, and this will be really really tiring, as the intensity is so high right now, I'm almost maxing out, and right after that I can tell myself I'm no longer an 'intermediate' athletic anymore, and it will not be that easy for strength gains (I don't think I will be capable for weekly PRs after that). Right after that I will be deloading for like 3 weeks, then go there for practicing lifts like front squats and power cleans, deadlifts, just maintaining strength and probably protection, and definitely prevently atrophy. I wouldn't want to lose all my strength I've gain from the routine. I think I will start on another routine somewhere in January next year, when school starts. This is the time where I seriously concentrate on gaining strength and power. I want to see myself being able to squat a weight twice of my bodyweight, to be able to do an one arm chinup, and all the other feats. I wanna make a point to train my flips into 2nd nature, so I'll just do flips as and when I like during breaks or something.
Videos, ah yes. I will, make a movie-like video by the end of this year, and that would probably be the last video for a very long time, with the exception of the huge new years eve jam. For the year 2009 I will only make one video, that is my supposedly breakthrough video. Yet again as you've read, it will be yet again focusing way more on filming and editing more then movements. I wanna make this kind of a cinematography reel. A poor one, though. HAHA. I wonder what should I put as movements in the video. I guess some stuffs that I'm comfortable with. Don't really want to make it big and all. Probably will be using lotsa timelapse again (this time in HD), the signature for the May-July 08 video, and more style shots, and even some parts in a storyline.
I still ponder, should I train more alone, instead of infront of people and stuffs. Because I think I can focus way more, and not get distracted, or even do silly stuffs. I've said to the other guys that there will be mini-training sessions on saturdays, but I guess I'll just make one or two, just to get ready for the huge one at Clarke Quay. I really want to aim for improvement. Sometimes I don't understand why I want to make myself hit the squat rack, the motivation and discipline inside of me. I force myself to train despite my laziness and lethargy. I just want to improve myself, not knowing why. I guess it gives you a real sense of achievement, to see yourself improve and land a new move that you've never did before, or previously couldn't do, its something quite 'cool' to experience. Its definitely one of the best thing on Earth to progress. Also I really enjoy movements, it gives me freedom, to realize that in the world there is never a barrier that is too big or too scary to be deemed as impossible.
I've still alot of things to rant about. Once I get my bursary, I'm pretty certain that my mum we take about half of it. It really sucks man, to know that whatever you've worked hard for or at least something that is deservedly yours, is taken away from someone. First was Ang Pao money, then from my 400dollars overall work pay from MacDonalds (do you believe it? I've work so much, but I didn't even get to spend a single cent.), and now the Bursary. Fuck man, and she keep saying she will return. And whenever I rise the topic of it, she gets angry and say stuffs like "Parents cannot take money from son ah?", and she really really gets angry and gets to the mood of depression (usually act one lah like typical women, cry for sympathy.), and then just shout at everybody. I doubt she will even return me a cent, I swear. Pocket money is an obligation of a parent, and that is not counted as "returning the money you owe". Oh well cannot blame, as now the situation of my household is haywire, due to many probelms. Also whenever I ask for money back, they will go "what for you wanna have so much money for? don't spend so much money hor, nowadays we all no money already." Irritating sia. How am I even gonna get the things I want. Stupid man.
I can't really afford to waste anymore time right now, hais...
I guess I will be travelling around SG, to spots like Taman Jurong, Clementi, Bishan, Sengkang, Yishun, Jelapang, Pasir Ris, Clarke Quay, maybe some other places, mainly to expose myself to different environments (getting sick of Tampines, I will train there the next year when it is convenient), and to work on some unfinished business, including filming Ashton's showreel. I probably would just want to go there with just some people, not in a big group, and also get some footages from those trips.
Yet again I've rethinked about the statements I've written before. I'm a man of a mission as of that very day. Will I manage to achieve it? I guess, its time, that I'll prepare myself to attempt something, something of significance and extraordinary, which might be worthy enough to change my life. The time will come, I can already foresee it. 2010, my breakthrough year.
As you guys know I really, really wanna train properly in the holidays but one probelm. Around this time of the month, it always rains. Its kinda frustrating for that to happen, and I really wouldn't want to stay at home and not train even if it rains. I really need to work on my flips, because thats what I really suck at at the moment and I can't think of any other places that are suitable for learning flips. I really wanna train at prime but it will cost 15bucks + travel time. Sucks man, and then the other wise alternative would be the beach, yet again, troublesome (have to get wet and change), and kinda far as well. If it REALLY rains I'll just go to gym. Or train in the night.
The stuffs that I want to work on is wallpass and armjumps. The main thing is the stupid "JUMP UP 45degrees" thing. I always tend to jump way too forward ending up with so little height. This will definitely help in all aspect of movements, more so in running jumps and especially flips. I just wanna get my SDCs real consistent and powerful as well, and work on runs, to be real fluid in string of movements. I wanna get really good all-around, firstly in individual movements, then into real-time runs like showcased in my March 08 video. Work on my speed and power in movements, and also confidence and fluidity. I'll also want to work on my precision jumps, control. Thats about it. On training, I would try to make sure I don't do too much, just a quick good session of 1hour would be good enough, and of course not to do too much impactful stuffs, and not push my limits too much.
Strength training, left two weeks till I'll conclude the routine. 6 sessions more, and this will be really really tiring, as the intensity is so high right now, I'm almost maxing out, and right after that I can tell myself I'm no longer an 'intermediate' athletic anymore, and it will not be that easy for strength gains (I don't think I will be capable for weekly PRs after that). Right after that I will be deloading for like 3 weeks, then go there for practicing lifts like front squats and power cleans, deadlifts, just maintaining strength and probably protection, and definitely prevently atrophy. I wouldn't want to lose all my strength I've gain from the routine. I think I will start on another routine somewhere in January next year, when school starts. This is the time where I seriously concentrate on gaining strength and power. I want to see myself being able to squat a weight twice of my bodyweight, to be able to do an one arm chinup, and all the other feats. I wanna make a point to train my flips into 2nd nature, so I'll just do flips as and when I like during breaks or something.
Videos, ah yes. I will, make a movie-like video by the end of this year, and that would probably be the last video for a very long time, with the exception of the huge new years eve jam. For the year 2009 I will only make one video, that is my supposedly breakthrough video. Yet again as you've read, it will be yet again focusing way more on filming and editing more then movements. I wanna make this kind of a cinematography reel. A poor one, though. HAHA. I wonder what should I put as movements in the video. I guess some stuffs that I'm comfortable with. Don't really want to make it big and all. Probably will be using lotsa timelapse again (this time in HD), the signature for the May-July 08 video, and more style shots, and even some parts in a storyline.
I still ponder, should I train more alone, instead of infront of people and stuffs. Because I think I can focus way more, and not get distracted, or even do silly stuffs. I've said to the other guys that there will be mini-training sessions on saturdays, but I guess I'll just make one or two, just to get ready for the huge one at Clarke Quay. I really want to aim for improvement. Sometimes I don't understand why I want to make myself hit the squat rack, the motivation and discipline inside of me. I force myself to train despite my laziness and lethargy. I just want to improve myself, not knowing why. I guess it gives you a real sense of achievement, to see yourself improve and land a new move that you've never did before, or previously couldn't do, its something quite 'cool' to experience. Its definitely one of the best thing on Earth to progress. Also I really enjoy movements, it gives me freedom, to realize that in the world there is never a barrier that is too big or too scary to be deemed as impossible.
I've still alot of things to rant about. Once I get my bursary, I'm pretty certain that my mum we take about half of it. It really sucks man, to know that whatever you've worked hard for or at least something that is deservedly yours, is taken away from someone. First was Ang Pao money, then from my 400dollars overall work pay from MacDonalds (do you believe it? I've work so much, but I didn't even get to spend a single cent.), and now the Bursary. Fuck man, and she keep saying she will return. And whenever I rise the topic of it, she gets angry and say stuffs like "Parents cannot take money from son ah?", and she really really gets angry and gets to the mood of depression (usually act one lah like typical women, cry for sympathy.), and then just shout at everybody. I doubt she will even return me a cent, I swear. Pocket money is an obligation of a parent, and that is not counted as "returning the money you owe". Oh well cannot blame, as now the situation of my household is haywire, due to many probelms. Also whenever I ask for money back, they will go "what for you wanna have so much money for? don't spend so much money hor, nowadays we all no money already." Irritating sia. How am I even gonna get the things I want. Stupid man.
I can't really afford to waste anymore time right now, hais...
I guess I will be travelling around SG, to spots like Taman Jurong, Clementi, Bishan, Sengkang, Yishun, Jelapang, Pasir Ris, Clarke Quay, maybe some other places, mainly to expose myself to different environments (getting sick of Tampines, I will train there the next year when it is convenient), and to work on some unfinished business, including filming Ashton's showreel. I probably would just want to go there with just some people, not in a big group, and also get some footages from those trips.
Yet again I've rethinked about the statements I've written before. I'm a man of a mission as of that very day. Will I manage to achieve it? I guess, its time, that I'll prepare myself to attempt something, something of significance and extraordinary, which might be worthy enough to change my life. The time will come, I can already foresee it. 2010, my breakthrough year.
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